Welcome to the final Ranch Report. Survivorerist here. As we all know, Kismet is stopping the news guide for a while due to her own problems. Consider this final Ranch Report to be a tribute to her great work delivering the news.

In the final Ranch Report, we take a trip down memory lane as we investigate the Top 10 SurvivorBlows.com Survivor 2 stories. In this list, you'll see events you'll most surely recognize from the boards, and some from the show that had impact on the boards.

So, with great pleasure, the Ranch Report presents the top ten SurvivorBlows.com Survivor 2 stories.

10) The birth of the News Guide. Starting from scratch, the fearless Kismet one day decided to post a guide, alerting all users to what was going down on the boards. Also, it's because of this guide that I had a "real" job.

9) Superman goes from 293-300 by posting 8 straight Top Ten Lists. In this brilliant fit of creativity, Superman posted eight Top Ten Lists to hit the 300 milestone, with the final list topic being supplied by none other than BadAs himself.

8) Michael falls into Kucha Fire. This was the event that caused Webbie to proclaim "We was robbed" and others to believe that the Mark Burnett pushed him into the fire. Only one other survivor 2 moment would make this list...but we'll get to that later.

7) ItzLisa takes board by storm. Mastering the art of "chat posting," ItzLisa revolutionized the entire board posting philosophy. She quickly racked up the posts and soon other older posters quickly began to take a liking to her dust tracks.

6) Webbie introduces DAW levels. If there was ever any doubt that we were grubby little attention hos, this cleared it up. Based on Survivor-related titles, each member was given a rating based on exactly how ho-ish they were. Speaking of DAW levels...

5) VampKira hits 1250. Through a duo of suggestive "Who's still awake" threads, Superman helped her hit 1250 posts. In hitting 1250, VampKira revealed the much-coveted "Playboy Centerfold" DAW level.

4) Jerri gets voted off Survivor in Episode 9. No story (except maybe the sex video rumours) caused this much frenzy on the boards. After this fiasco, people began posting their Jerri flames like wildfire. Also, a certain user, whose board life lasted very short, posted Jerri praises. No matter which way you look at it, this event had great impact on the SurvivorBlows.com boards.

3) Dalton vs. Shakes final predictions. As the final episode neared, the spoilers divided up into two distinct camps, with Shakes The Clown at the head of "Camp Benedict Tina" and Dalton heading up "Camp Colbster." Some wayward souls decided to back Keith, but we all knew he wasn't gonna win. The tension mounted as the final vote came, and, after a long, drawn-out battle, Shakes emerged victorious.

2) BadAs retires. After 300, the great BadAs chose to retire from the boards, only reappearing occasionally to take a trip down memory lane by informing us that he would be tending bar for a short while. The essence of BA was not dead, however, as a short while later a poster named Typoman emerged. The spirit of BadAs lives on...

and finally, the number one SurvivorBlows.com Survivor 2 news story...

1) Who is Shakes? If there was one event that defines DAW it is, without a doubt, this one. It brought the spoilers together with the bashers and fanatics to figure out the mystery. In the end, it was only Sleeeve who guessed Shakes' true identity as one of the contestants on Fox's upcoming Love Cruise. We congratulate Shakes the Clown on his climb to the top of "Attention Ho-dom."

...and that concludes the final Ranch Report. This has been Survivorerist. Good luck and Godspeed...

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Survivorerist

Meanwhile, back on the ranch,
Sittin' on the front porch swingin' with Blanche,
World's running from an avalanche.
Meanwhile, back on the ranch.

-The Clark Family Experience "(Meanwhile) Back on the Ranch"

• RE: The Final Ranch Report: The Top Ten SB.com News Stories...,BluSavana, 10:08 PM, 05-08-01
• RE: The Final Ranch Report: The Top Ten SB.com News Stories...,ItzLisa, 06:37 AM, 05-09-01
• RE: The Final Ranch Report: The Top Ten SB.com News Stories...,Superman, 06:46 AM, 05-09-01
• VampKira hits 1250. ,boomerang, 12:47 PM, 05-09-01
• Yeah!,ItzLisa, 01:35 PM, 05-09-01

I nominate #3 as my newsworthy post, cos he is my Brother, what can I say??? *smile* Blu

Pain is just weakness leaving the body, Sir!

Stop eye-balling me Recruit Lemon!

Awwww, Svst!!! You found me Ranch Report Worthy! Thank you, sir! I'm honored!

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W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter

Bubbles: "Er, um, excuse me? Mr. Monster? I was wondering if you would, er, be so kind as to stop destroying Townsville? We like our town very, very much and I would appreciate it if you would just leave. Pretty please with sugerlumps on top?"

Thanks Surv-ist.... Nice to make the list, but I think you left one out:

11. Survivorerist enters the world of SurvivorBlows with a diverse brand of wit and humor. He not only supplies us with laughter, but also with a tongue-twister every time we try to pronounce his name.

"Sniffing Glue Since 1974 and Still Going Strong"

Congrats VampKira!

That's very true, Supe! Svst has become one of the coolest members of these boards!

Boomerang, Vamp's gonna love that when she gets here!

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W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter

Bubbles: "Er, um, excuse me? Mr. Monster? I was wondering if you would, er, be so kind as to stop destroying Townsville? We like our town very, very much and I would appreciate it if you would just leave. Pretty please with sugerlumps on top?"