LAST EDITED ON 05-03-01 AT 07:45 PM (EST)LAST EDITED ON 05-03-01 AT 07:40 PM (EST)
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Note: There is absolutely no spoiler value in this post. It is a fun, ficticious story, nothing more. Anything I get right about anyone is purely coincedence.
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53 minutes Till Showtime...
Welcome to a very special Ranch Report. Survivorerist here, in front of the ranch on this very special occasion. We're here waiting for the Survivor 2 jury to come out. Hopefully we can get a few words with each of them.
50 minutes Till Showtime...
The door is opening, who could it be?
It's Nick! He's wearing a red T-Shirt and black pants, a sparkling ensemble. Let's get a few words.
SV: Hi Nick! I'm Survivorerist for SurvivorBlows.com
NB: Hello. It's nice to be here.
SV: So what are your feelings going into this tribal council?
NB: Well, it's been a fantastic few weeks since I was sent here.
SV: Any comments for the viewers?
NB: Man I'm sleepy. I hope the jury seats are comfortable.
SV: There you have it. Nick wants to take a seat. Thank you very much Nick.
The tension and excitement are building. Can you feel it? I know I can.
42 minutes Till Showtime
<looks towards Ranch door> Oh wow! It's Rodger!
SV: Nice outfit you have there, Kentucky Joe. And beautiful shoes...
RB: Thanks. Elis'beth mad'em for me.
SV: It seems like you're beginning to grow back that facial hair.
RB: Yes, yes I am. The other guys thought I was a little scary so I decided to grow it back.
SV: Any thoughts as to how the vote will go tonight?
RB: I don't know, but I'm votin' fer Elis'beth.
SV: <chuckles> Thanks for your time, Kentucky Joe.
What a nice guy. Before we return to the red carpet, let's take a look at this game, Survivor. For 42 days, these guys have been playing the game of their lifetimes. They have endured, among the more serious things, starvation, floods and Jerri.
Now we're down to three, Colby, Tina and Keith. Tonight, someone will be a millionaire...
30 minutes till showtime
Well speak of the devil (no pun intended)! Here comes Jerri! She's decked out in a nice blue outfit, as usual. Oh Jerri!
JM: Am I on TV?
SV: Ummm...kind of. Let me ask you the question that's on everyone's mind. Will you be pulling a Susan tonight?
JM: I don't know, you'll just have to see. <smiles evilly>
SV: I understand. You must know that much of America can't stand you right now...
JM: I'm a human being with feelings too, don'tcha know?
SV: Yes, well never fret Jerri...some of us LOVE you!
JM: <cackles softly>
SV: Have a pleasant evening.
Well, you just saw Nick, Rodger and Jerri go by.
21 minutes Till Showtime
Who will be the next jury member out? <waits a few moments then looks backwards> Doesn't seem like...<I get tapped on the shoulder>
SV: <turning around> OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! She touched my shoulder! OMG...
AB: Calm down, I'm not THAT exciting...
SV: <breathing heavily> Ok, ok. Focus. <regains composure> Good evening Amber.
AB: Hello.
SV: I see you're wearing your signature light blue shirt with the stripe on it.
AB: <smiles>
SV: So what's on your mind as you go to the Tribal Council?
AB: I don't know really. It'll just depend on what people say tonight and who really deserves it. Well I'm off...
SV: One more thing. Since you're my favourite, you get these... <hands her flowers>
AB: Thank you! <Does that cute smile that just makes me melt...you know the one> Bye bye...
Well that made my day...
16 minutes Till Showtime
It's almost showtime. I'm pumped as ever with two jury members to go.
Speaking of jury members, here comes another one now! Look, it's Alicia!
SV: Hi Alicia!
AC: Hey, sir.
SV: First of all, I must say you do look good in purple.
AC: Why thanks.
SV: You're welcome. So you've been on the jury the longest...
AC: That's right. I think it's been a really good time.
SV: So what's going through your head right now? This'll be a very important vote.
AC: I dunno, I guess we'll all have to find out. I'm just gonna vote my conscience.
SV: Have a pleasant evening, Ms. Calaway.
AC: You too. Peace out.
That's 5 down and 1 to go. Elisabeth should be out any minute now.
LAST EDITED ON 05-03-01 AT 07:52 PM (EST)11 minutes Till Showtime
<checks his watch then looks up...> There she is! Wearing what appears to be a...homemade outfit?
SV: Nice clothes.
EF: Thanks. I made them myself.
SV: Very classy. So how do you like being America's favourite castaway?
EF: It's kinda fun! Am I yours?
SV: Ummmm...sorry, no. But you're close, I'm sure. How excited are you tonight?
EF: I'm great! I can't wait to vote for <censored due to my lack of knowledge>!
SV: Well, I wish you good luck and I hope <censored see above> wins.
EF: Rodger! Wait up! <runs off>
8 minutes Till Showtime
Well it's almost that time. This concludes The Ranch Report's Live on Location.
One note, I'm gonna be takin' a little rest as I wind down from the finale. As a result, there will be no Ranch Report for Friday, May 4. The Ranch Report will resume on Monday, May 7. Take care of yourselves and enjoy the big program!
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Survivorerist
Have a great show!