I see the light... My crystal ball has been dusted off and it is clearly in focus...and what I see is not pretty.

Adam, You and Samantha will make a run for it. You will want to stroll your lovely Samantha around in her high priced Barney's outfits (don't worry Adam, Samantha will allow you to use her employee discount too - that's how sweet she can be). You will find yourself using said discount to buy yourself that pair of cheesy leather pants you always wanted and maybe even a tough-guy new leather bracelet to replace your YOLO bracelet that Samantha doesn't allow you to wear anymore. You will take Samantha to all of the bars you couldn't get into with your goofball friends. And these friends will kiss the ground Samantha walks on too - but in self-interest - after all they will probably want to scam on her friends. You will parade your lovely Samantha around Madison Avenue by day and West Broadway by night. You will become an expert in purses and shoes and Samantha will teach you the difference between a Scarf and a Pashmina.

Then you will take Samantha back for Round 2 with your parents after which your mom will try to act happy but things will end with an ugly fight where Samantha convinces you to reject your parents.

Adam you are blind and you are a wimp. Samantha would blow you off in 2 seconds in any bar in New York. She will walk all over you once your fame dwindles (today dude!). Rachel, you're my homey from New City (Felix Festa A-Wing grad here! - but I'm a few years older than you). And you're so much more attractive than the nosejob'ed, bad aura'd, excessive makeup'ed, loooong iiiiisland accent bearing Samantha. Adam I was a fan but lost all respect yesterday.