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Original Message
"Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by kpod on 07-14-04 at 09:53 AM
1. As Phil explains, beef is king in Uruguay. If that is so, then what is queen in Uruguay?

2. Mirna says that she and Charla love to surprise people. What could they do that would surprise you?

3. Karen tells us that we have soap-suds disco dancing here in America, just as in Uruguay. Where, and how does Karen know about it?

4. Why are Eva Peron and her husband buried in separate cemeteries? Of the nine teams still in the race (because you-know-who would be too easy an answer), which one is most likely to have similar arrangements when their time comes?

5. The tango detour featured men, many with goatees, who all looked very much alike. Rumor has it that David and Jeff from last season's race were among the tangoers. Do you believe that rumor? Why or why not?

6. Why couldn't Alison or the Moms cope with walking the dogs?

7. Linda was excited that Karen was able to "outsmart a cow". Yet they thought nothing of being able to outsmart Jim and Marsha with the currency exchange fake-out. Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha did not succeed at the detour by outsmarting the cows. How did they do it, then?

8. Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli. One cab. Last place -- as far as they know -- on the line. How would you have suggested they resolve the issue?

9. Still on that topic, a twin commented that Chip "turned into a different person". Who did he turn into?

10. Was Phil really sorry to tell Alison and Donny that they were eliminated?

Bonus. Alison's out of The Amazing Race. What a shame. What's next for her?

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by Cleveland Guy on 07-14-04 at 10:02 AM
1. Pigs

2. Shut the F- UP

3. If you don't get to a laundry mat on a Friday night, you just haven't lived

4. Brandon and nicole - because that's now God would want it

5. I can't believe the rumor. Maybe they were supposed to be- but they probably got lost along the way

6. Not sure about the moms - but Allison was trying to figure out how the whole "sex" thing works

7. Jim revealved his wounded knee and the cows all fainted

8. The only American way possible - Rock, Paper Scziorrs - best 2 out of 3

9. Spiderman, oh wait that was tobey Mcguire

10.Yes- he knows their drama meant ratings

Bonus- Temptation Island, what better way to embarass Donny is there left?

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by mikey on 07-14-04 at 11:05 AM
LAST EDITED ON 07-14-04 AT 11:06 AM (EST)

>1. As Phil explains, beef is
>king in Uruguay. If
>that is so, then what
>is queen in Uruguay?
>
Oswald.

>2. Mirna says that she and
>Charla love to surprise people.
> What could they do
>that would surprise you?
>
read a map correctly.

>3. Karen tells us that we
>have soap-suds disco dancing here
>in America, just as in
>Uruguay. Where, and how
>does Karen know about it?
>
Karen's bathtub, any Saturday night.
>
>4. Why are Eva Peron and
>her husband buried in separate
>cemeteries? Of the nine
>teams still in the race
>(because you-know-who would be too
>easy an answer), which one
>is most likely to have
>similar arrangements when their time
>comes?
>
Colin and Christie, because all those teeth won't fit in one.

>5. The tango detour featured men,
>many with goatees, who all
>looked very much alike.
>Rumor has it that David
>and Jeff from last season's
>race were among the tangoers.
> Do you believe that
>rumor? Why or why
>not?
>
A. They are still in Hawaii.
B. They are busy filming Starsky & Hutch II.
C. Ain't no way they would put someone on a reality show twice, unless it is the lovable Stephen baldwin and Corbin Bernsen.

>6. Why couldn't Alison or the
>Moms cope with walking the
>dogs?
>
Too much barking, and the dogs wouldn't shut up either.

>7. Linda was excited that Karen
>was able to "outsmart a
>cow". Yet they thought
>nothing of being able to
>outsmart Jim and Marsha with
>the currency exchange fake-out.
>Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha
>did not succeed at the
>detour by outsmarting the cows.
> How did they do
>it, then?
>
Unable to outsmart a cow, they outsmarted Donny and Alison.

>8. Chip and Kim. Kami
>and Karli. One cab.
> Last place -- as
>far as they know --
>on the line. How
>would you have suggested they
>resolve the issue?
>
Midget tossing contest, if that dang midget wasn't so far ahead of them.

>9. Still on that topic, a
>twin commented that Chip "turned
>into a different person".
>Who did he turn into?
>
A. Will
B. Ian

>
>10. Was Phil really sorry to
>tell Alison and Donny that
>they were eliminated?

He was sorry no one got to use the Yield on them.

>
>Bonus. Alison's out of The
>Amazing Race. What a
>shame. What's next for
>her?
>
the next Joe Schmo Show -- people convince Alison someone would really want her for a third reality show.


"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by Megacanuck on 07-14-04 at 11:46 AM
1. Filet mignon

2. Offer to work with the prostitute

3. Internet porn sites

4a. A gravesite menage a trois is a little too icky for words.
4b. Bob/Joyce - they can have notebook computers put in their caskets, and it will seem like they're dating again.

5. No - they'd have caught the wrong flight and arrived too late.

6. Alison - the 4-legged b!tches were fighting her to see who was the queen b!tch
Bowling Moms - Thought it would be smart to join forces with the reality tv anti-christ, so the reality tv gods paid them back

7. They had a quick talk with their cow friends, gave them the universal cow password (Moo), and were then handed (hoofed?) a scarf.

8. Share the cab you idiots! Big guy sits in the front. 3 fairly slim women sit in the back. Bags in the trunk. Stop arguing and just go!

9. A large tentacled alien from Blaxon-6.

10. No. People were staring at her boobs more than his.

Bonus. For Love or Money.

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by Molaholic on 07-14-04 at 12:07 PM
1. As Phil explains, beef is king in Uruguay. If that is so, then what is queen in Uruguay? Elton John (or is that El Ton Juan?)

2. Mirna says that she and Charla love to surprise people. What could they do that would surprise you? Go 17 consecutive seconds without telling us, "We're here to let the world know we can do things!"

3. Karen tells us that we have soap-suds disco dancing here in America, just as in Uruguay. Where, and how does Karen know about it? Bowling Moms is just a cover for their CIA Operations.

4. Why are Eva Peron and her husband buried in separate cemeteries? Of the nine teams still in the race (because you-know-who would be too easy an answer), which one is most likely to have similar arrangements when their time comes? Charla and Mirna, because Mirna will want to stop for a quick hand of blackjack first.

5. The tango detour featured men, many with goatees, who all looked very much alike. Rumor has it that David and Jeff from last season's race were among the tangoers. Do you believe that rumor? Why or why not? No, because they couldn't agree on who would 'have to' dance the male role.

6. Why couldn't Alison or the Moms cope with walking the dogs? Alison was p!ssed that the dogs were 'getting more' then she was. The Moms thought 'perro' meant 'beer frame'.

7. Linda was excited that Karen was able to "outsmart a cow". Yet they thought nothing of being able to outsmart Jim and Marsha with the currency exchange fake-out. Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha did not succeed at the detour by outsmarting the cows. How did they do it, then? Jim threatened the cows with "putting my size 12's up your bovine butt-holes!"

8. Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli. One cab. Last place -- as far as they know -- on the line. How would you have suggested they resolve the issue? Make this a preview of FOX's new Mommmy swapping reality show (note to blue peeps ... I have to get the review for one of these gems!).

9. Still on that topic, a twin commented that Chip "turned into a different person". Who did he turn into? Alison?

10. Was Phil really sorry to tell Alison and Donny that they were eliminated? No, since he's been jealous of her more ample bossum since the Pier.

Bonus. Alison's out of The Amazing Race. What a shame. What's next for her? Replacing D!ck Cheney on the GOP ticket.


A.S.S. PTB Red Points CONSOLATION winner
sigpic a GeorgiaBelle creation MMIV

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by TeamJoisey on 07-14-04 at 05:40 PM
>1. As Phil explains, beef is
>king in Uruguay. If
>that is so, then what
>is queen in Uruguay?
>
That would be Freddy Mercurito.

>2. Mirna says that she and
>Charla love to surprise people.
> What could they do
>that would surprise you?
>
Survive until Episode 11.

>3. Karen tells us that we
>have soap-suds disco dancing here
>in America, just as in
>Uruguay. Where, and how
>does Karen know about it?
>
Tuesday nights at the Palmdale Suds and Wash Bowlarama,
when the softball team comes in
after burrito night and clogs the plumbing.

>
>4. Why are Eva Peron and
>her husband buried in separate
>cemeteries? Of the nine
>teams still in the race
>(because you-know-who would be too
>easy an answer), which one
>is most likely to have
>similar arrangements when their time
>comes?

Eva is in Recoleta because the other place was too crowded.
There was only enough room for Juan. groan.

As for our current teams, I expect
separate interments for Jim, and Jim's leg.

>
>5. The tango detour featured men,
>many with goatees, who all
>looked very much alike.
>Rumor has it that David
>and Jeff from last season's
>race were among the tangoers.
> Do you believe that
>rumor? Why or why
>not?

Of course not! David and Jeff are still in Hawaii.

>
>6. Why couldn't Alison or the
>Moms cope with walking the
>dogs?

Like magnets, that many b!tches repel each other.

>
>7. Linda was excited that Karen
>was able to "outsmart a
>cow". Yet they thought
>nothing of being able to
>outsmart Jim and Marsha with
>the currency exchange fake-out.
>Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha
>did not succeed at the
>detour by outsmarting the cows.
> How did they do
>it, then?

Huh? You outsmarted me with this question.

>
>8. Chip and Kim. Kami
>and Karli. One cab.
> Last place -- as
>far as they know --
>on the line. How
>would you have suggested they
>resolve the issue?

Tear Kami in half.
Tear Karli in half.
Put them in the trunk.
Drive off without Kim and Chip.
>
>9. Still on that topic, a
>twin commented that Chip "turned
>into a different person".
>Who did he turn into?

Frank
>
>
>10. Was Phil really sorry to
>tell Alison and Donny that
>they were eliminated?

I bet he was. They were the Perfect Storm of villains.

>
>Bonus. Alison's out of The
>Amazing Race. What a
>shame. What's next for
>her?

Donny's new reality show: Who Wants to Punch My Ho?
>



These reality show contestants need a reality check!

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by Bebo on 07-15-04 at 03:11 AM
1. As Phil explains, beef is king in Uruguay. If that is so, then what is queen in Uruguay?

A prostitute.

2. Mirna says that she and Charla love to surprise people. What could they do that would surprise you?

If they could make it through one freakin' episode without Charla giving a speech on what she wants to prove to the world by running this race.

3. Karen tells us that we have soap-suds disco dancing here in America, just as in Uruguay. Where, and how does Karen know about it?

Sing it with me, peeps...

Car wash
(Workin' at the car wash)
Car wash yeah


4. Why are Eva Peron and her husband buried in separate cemeteries? Of the nine teams still in the race (because you-know-who would be too easy an answer), which one is most likely to have similar arrangements when their time comes?

As President, Juan wanted to make sure he didn't have to listen to that damned "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina" for all of eternity. (My original answer was that they got along as well as you-know-who.)

I think Brandon and Nicole will have a similar arrangement, since God will direct Brandon to a "special place" when his time comes.

5. The tango detour featured men, many with goatees, who all
looked very much alike. Rumor has it that David and Jeff from last season's race were among the tangoers. Do you believe that rumor? Why or why not?

No, I do not. David and Jeff cannot lead anyone anywhere, not even on a dance floor.

6. Why couldn't Alison or the Moms cope with walking the dogs?

Insert bitch joke here

7. Linda was excited that Karen was able to "outsmart a cow". Yet they thought nothing of being able to outsmart Jim and Marsha with the currency exchange fake-out. Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha did not succeed at the detour by outsmarting the cows. How did they do it, then?

Actually, they did outsmart the cows, since they got to the pitstop ahead of them.

Cows = Bowling Moms for the joke-impaired. Or maybe it just wasn't funny. I'm a sleep-deprived mom, take pity on me.

8. Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli. One cab. Last place -- as far as they know -- on the line. How would you have suggested they resolve the issue?

Mr. Bebo and I use rock, paper, scissors for all of the tough decisions in our lives. A deathmatch would have been more interesting for the viewers, though.

9. Still on that topic, a twin commented that Chip "turned into a different person". Who did he turn into?

Alison. Or Flo. Or their bastard child.

10. Was Phil really sorry to tell Alison and Donny that they were eliminated?

He was only sorry that he could only do it once. He enjoyed it too much to have the moment pass so quickly.

Bonus. Alison's out of The Amazing Race. What a shame. What's next for her?

With PHo and Forever Eden off the air, there aren't that many skanky reality shows that would take leftovers like her. Now she'll have to see which magazines would be willing to have her pose. She'll probably make loads of money from the ones who would pay her to keep her clothes on.

Have whip, will travel.

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by FlamingCactusIT on 07-15-04 at 11:52 AM
1.The Hot Chicks with White T-Shirts at the Foam Club.

2.If Mirna wouldn't flirt with Phil for one episode.

3.She knows, instead of inflatable globes there's bowling balls.

4.Brandon and Nicole, because Nicole will be buried with the man rubbing her at the foam club.

5.No, Dave and Jeff are just finishing up the previous race by figuring out the Sun Devil Stadium Puzzle.

6.Because Alison was Jealous of the other dogs ;) getting more attention from Donny.

7.It doesn't take much time to fool old people, so why gloat?

8.Flip an American Coin, which doesn't need exchanged for an Argentine one.

9.A cool dad for arguing with young chicks on National TV.

10.Yes, because he wanted more chances for Ali to get hurt during a detour.

Bonus-Being Bob Barker's Wife. Bob's last name just fits Alison!

"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by ssshaw on 07-15-04 at 11:58 AM
>1. As Phil explains, beef is
>king in Uruguay. If
>that is so, then what
>is queen in Uruguay?
Pork, the other white meat.

>2. Mirna says that she and
>Charla love to surprise people.
> What could they do
>that would surprise you?
Win.

>3. Karen tells us that we
>have soap-suds disco dancing here
>in America, just as in
>Uruguay. Where, and how
>does Karen know about it?
The BMs were a wild bunch back, back, back in the day.

>4. Why are Eva Peron and
>her husband buried in separate
>cemeteries? Of the nine
>teams still in the race
>(because you-know-who would be too
>easy an answer), which one
>is most likely to have
>similar arrangements when their time
>comes?
Charla/Mirna. Charla will be in the little people's cemetery, and Mirna will be with the big people.

>5. The tango detour featured men,
>many with goatees, who all
>looked very much alike.
>Rumor has it that David
>and Jeff from last season's
>race were among the tangoers.
> Do you believe that
>rumor? Why or why
>not?
Like David and Jeff would know how to dance.

>6. Why couldn't Alison or the
>Moms cope with walking the
>dogs?
All the dogs kept attacking Alison.

>7. Linda was excited that Karen
>was able to "outsmart a
>cow". Yet they thought
>nothing of being able to
>outsmart Jim and Marsha with
>the currency exchange fake-out.
>Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha
>did not succeed at the
>detour by outsmarting the cows.
> How did they do
>it, then?
Because the 50-something father with a bad knee didn't jump in there with the cows.

>8. Chip and Kim. Kami
>and Karli. One cab.
> Last place -- as
>far as they know --
>on the line. How
>would you have suggested they
>resolve the issue?
Flip a coin.

>9. Still on that topic, a
>twin commented that Chip "turned
>into a different person".
>Who did he turn into?
The Guidos.

>10. Was Phil really sorry to
>tell Alison and Donny that
>they were eliminated?
It's Alison. Of course he wasn't sorry.

>Bonus. Alison's out of The
>Amazing Race. What a
>shame. What's next for
>her?
Several guest appearances on Jerry Springer.


"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by Estee on 07-15-04 at 12:27 PM
1. As Phil explains, beef is king in Uruguay. If that is so, then what is queen in Uruguay?

Ant, but only part-time, as he has so many queening duties to fulfill around the world. (I don't suppose anyone knows if Reichen has any time free these days?)

2. Mirna says that she and Charla love to surprise people.
What could they do that would surprise you?

Six words: 'Phil, do you like group dates?'

3. Karen tells us that we have soap-suds disco dancing here
in America, just as in Uruguay. Where

Scottsdale, Arizona.

and how does Karen know about it?

It's right next to Belly's. (Everyone on reality TV knows Belly's.)

4. Why are Eva Peron and her husband buried in separate
cemeteries?

Because the farther apart you place your tourist attractions, the more admission fees you can justify charging! Haven't you learned anything from Disney/Six Flags/Las Vegas/America?

Of the nine teams still in the race (because you-know-who would be too easy an answer), which one is most likely to have similar arrangements when their time comes?

Kami and Karli. The other cemetery always did like Little Miss Perfect best.

5. The tango detour featured men, many with goatees, who all
looked very much alike. Rumor has it that David and Jeff from last season's race were among the tangoers. Do you believe that
rumor?

Not for a second.

Why or why not?

None of the men were dancing with each other.

6. Why couldn't Alison or the Moms cope with walking the
dogs?

Unknown to the Bowling Moms, the word 'bowling', translated into the native tongue, means 'she who enjoys classic North Korean cuisine.' The dogs were just a little bit nervous.

As for Alison, it just was a perfectly natural conflict: bitches in heat vs. heated b!tch.

7. Linda was excited that Karen was able to "outsmart a cow". Yet they thought nothing of being able to outsmart Jim and Marsha with the currency exchange fake-out. Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha did not succeed at the detour by outsmarting the cows. How did they do it, then?

Just when all seemed lost, a Thrifty van appeared out of nowhere, picked up Jim & Marsha, drove them to Texas for twenty-five sessions of professional cowboy training, got them back fifteen minutes later, and hung around to watch as they put all of their new skills to the test, honking the horn for applause. Hooray, Thrifty!

8. Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli. One cab. Last place -- as
far as they know -- on the line. How would you have suggested they resolve the issue?

Compromise. Chip & Kim ride in the taxi. Kami & Karli ride under it.

9. Still on that topic, a twin commented that Chip "turned
into a different person". Who did he turn into?

Karli. Which means they're triplets. Wonder who Mom always liked best now?

10. Was Phil really sorry to tell Alison and Donny that they were eliminated?

Yes. There are times when sticking to the script hurts. How much better would it have been if he'd gotten to say 'Alison & Donny -- nyah-nyah! Neener neener neener! Hah-hah! Ding, dong, the witch is dead, whicha-witch, the wicked witch!'

Bonus. Alison's out of The Amazing Race. What a shame. What's next for her?

'Well, that's it. We're out of rice. There's no food on this island. The lava flow which burnt down our camp went into the water and killed all the fish. Jeff won't trade us any supplies for bits of ash, and we've all taken off our clothes in front of him three times already. We're just going to have to eat someone.'

(Ali-ho-de-ho-de-ho-de-ha...)


"RE: Hawkeye 10, Amazing Race 5. Episode 2, Alison 1."
Posted by dajaki on 07-15-04 at 02:25 PM
1. As Phil explains, beef is king in Uruguay. If that is so, then what is queen in Uruguay?
Miss Uruguay who constantly remarked to crew and contestants that she's the closest thing that Uruguay has to royalty.

2. Mirna says that she and Charla love to surprise people. What could they do that would surprise you?
If they made it through one episode without assuming that all other teams are specifically targeting them.

3. Karen tells us that we have soap-suds disco dancing here in America, just as in Uruguay. Where, and how does Karen know about it?
Karen is confusing the "singles only" laundromat in Palmdale where she occasionally goes to escape Mr. Karen.

4. Why are Eva Peron and her husband buried in separate cemeteries? Of the nine teams still in the race (because you-know-who would be too easy an answer), which one is most likely to have similar arrangements when their time comes?
Bob and Joyce who have requested that they be married with their original spouses.

5. The tango detour featured men, many with goatees, who all looked very much alike. Rumor has it that David and Jeff from last season's race were among the tangoers. Do you believe that rumor? Why or why not?
I thought I saw blonde tips poking out from beneath a couple of those hats!

6. Why couldn't Alison or the Moms cope with walking the dogs?
They're not used to being in the vicinity of any living creatures having sex.

7. Linda was excited that Karen was able to "outsmart a cow". Yet they thought nothing of being able to outsmart Jim and Marsha with the currency exchange fake-out. Presumably, then, Jim and Marsha did not succeed at the detour by outsmarting the cows. How did they do it, then?
Marsha threatened them with turning them into hamburger just like dear old dad's knee.

8. Chip and Kim. Kami and Karli. One cab. Last place -- as far as they know -- on the line. How would you have suggested they resolve the issue?
Arm wrestle

9. Still on that topic, a twin commented that Chip "turned into a different person". Who did he turn into?
Someone who actually wants to win this race rather than make nice with people he'll never see again.

10. Was Phil really sorry to tell Alison and Donny that they were eliminated?
Yes he was. Now he's afraid that no one else will provide any drama for the race.

Bonus. Alison's out of The Amazing Race. What a shame. What's next for her?
She'll find some other reality TV show to be a DAW for.