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Thread Number: 476
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Original Message
"She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by shakes the clown on 07-12-04 at 08:31 PM
I for one refuse to let the uptight, censor happy, quaker wannabe losers of America RUIN yet another great term!


Midgets are some of the coolest looking animals that you can find running wild amongst normal people and no way in he!! does such a cool species of thing deserve to have their cool name sterilized into something so stupid as "little people" just so Americans can sleep better at night with their guilt.


I love midgets, I always have, and I always wanted one to call my own. So since stupid state laws prohibit me from owning a midget the least I can do is serve the midget loving community by protecting the one thing that NOBODY can take away from us, the right to call a midget a midget!


So, good people of SB.com, I am here to tell you that i will make it my duty, life goal, mission statement to protect your god given right to use the word "midget" on this message board and in your daily lives. Don't be even slightly intimidated if someone tries to tell you that it is offensive to use the word midget cause I will be right on their heels ready to defend you and put those losers in their rightful place.


Midget lovers rest easy, you have a friend and protector in Shakes the Clown.


Don't thank me, your continued use of the word "MIDGET" is thanks enough.

And yes, I am aware that I am a true American hero.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by foonermints on 07-12-04 at 09:37 PM
After all, midgets gave us Munchkins and Master Blaster.
"I?"
Posted by clemsonbeav on 07-13-04 at 00:01 AM
think America is WAAY too politically correct. Just say "midget!"

Take Chileans for an example. If you're fat? They'll tell you. If your Spanish sucks? They'll tell you.

Blog
President of the GAWKUR Alliance
Yeah, I got concerned when I cut my hair in Chile. The first words out of my family's mouth when I got home: "Oh, you cut your hair." (In Spanish, of course.)

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by seahorse on 07-13-04 at 00:35 AM
You are right Shakes. Too many in this country are always trying to make sure that no one is ever offended by any of the terms we use in our language, especially terms that have been around for many years.


©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by Bucky Katt on 07-13-04 at 02:40 AM
The midget spinning clown head has spoken. So it shall be.

"How 'bout a birdy? I got a little birdy right here."

"Actually isn't she technically a dwarf?"
Posted by Denalio on 07-13-04 at 03:45 AM
Achondroplasia or something like that?
Which is technically a form of dwarfism?

Not to dispute the scary spinning clown head, but I was just wondering.

-denalio

"skeletal dysplasias"
Posted by dabo on 07-13-04 at 04:09 AM
"RE: Actually isn't she technically a dwarf?"
Posted by Ontario TAR Fan on 07-13-04 at 08:35 AM
In the olden days they used to have dwarf tossing contests. Now that would make for a good roadblock!
"dwarf tossing?"
Posted by moonbaby on 07-13-04 at 02:46 PM
Don't give the bowling moms any ideas.

"RE: dwarf tossing?"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 07-13-04 at 05:46 PM
You really bowl me over with your one-liners, moonie!



©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." Tom Peters
"RE: Actually isn't she technically a dwarf?"
Posted by zombiebaby on 07-14-04 at 04:59 PM
No only in the olden days, they still do it now. Usually at bars. There is a dwarf that earns a living doing this. Draws huge crowds. I think it is the dwarf from Howard Stern,Beatlejuice(spelled wrong- I think like the constellation).


One more of J Slice's Awesome Creations!

The fellowship of the banana has begun...

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by AugustGirl on 07-13-04 at 07:40 AM
I'm sure the midgets of America are celebrating.


-- The part about state law prohibiting Shakes from owning a midget.

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by greenmonstah on 07-13-04 at 08:02 AM
Now we just need a state law prohibiting him from owning cats.


A 2004 Augie Original: Action figure sold separately


Are circus clowns more motivated by boredom than by an honest desire to communicate? It is a joke, right? They think we are the fools?

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by nailbone on 07-13-04 at 04:49 PM
I don't think that'll EVER be a problem....



Handcrafted by RollDdice

The order of Banana delivery should be organized by location to save on shipping costs. o-

*smoooooooooch*

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by mikey on 07-13-04 at 10:06 AM
Wholeheartedly agree. If Shakes wasn't offended when everyone kept referring to that one team as "clowns" last season, no one should be offended by calling a midget a midget. Love the Midget, and Love Gidget!

Looking forward to the fall when they have an all - midget TAR! (but don't worry, they will include Christian midgets, gay midgets, long-distance dating midgets, alpha male midgets who will actually win the thing, wrestling midgets, tossable midgets and extras from the Wizard of Oz to show the full diversity that is midgetdom.


-- "What good is a dwarf if he doesn't do chores." Henry Fonda - On Golden Pond.

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by nailbone on 07-13-04 at 04:50 PM
Well, they had The Littlest Groom. Can The Amazing Midget Race be THAT far off?



Handcrafted by RollDdice

The order of Banana delivery should be organized by location to save on shipping costs. o-

"Hey, Mikey"
Posted by Coconut on 07-14-04 at 10:02 PM
You forgot the Virgin Midgets! Where's the love for the pure, eh?


Mikey funny.

"She's a DWARF, not a MIDGET!"
Posted by rasslinmomma on 07-14-04 at 07:31 AM
Dwarf = normal sized torso, shortened extremities.

Midget = Height less than 4ft 10in with extremities in proportion to the torso


just sayin'


Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004


"hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by shakes the clown on 07-14-04 at 01:19 PM
...shut up.

Besides, everyone knows that dwarfs carry axes. Do you see the TAR midget carrying an axe? Didn't think so...so once again, shut up.


"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by Schnookie Palookie on 07-14-04 at 01:30 PM
SB Guidelines:
"As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once said, "If you disagree with something I write, tell me so, argue with me, correct me--but don't tell me to shut up. That's not the American way."

Guess they don't apply to you huh Shakes?

"Charla's got pretty eyes"
Posted by Goober on 07-14-04 at 02:06 PM
Like the Olsen twins. Can totally envision Shakes and her hooking up...
"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by GlassJax on 07-14-04 at 02:07 PM
I've been reading, lurking and posting for about a year now.

I've never seen where the rules apply to the spinning clown head.

Tactless, yet unrefined.

"BTW"
Posted by GlassJax on 07-14-04 at 02:09 PM
I have no problem with that, but sometimes a new person see's how he posts and trys to copy him. Which always goes bad for the newbie. We seem to only allow Shakes to act as such.


Tactless, yet unrefined.

"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 07-14-04 at 02:43 PM
LAST EDITED ON 07-14-04 AT 02:47 PM (EST)

I read somewhere in an AyaK post a while ago that shakes has been "grandfathered" and is sorta exempt from the guidelines because of his, ah, unique personality.

In other words, he's old. And you know how hard it is for old, crusty people to change their ways.



©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." Tom Peters

"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by cqvenus on 07-14-04 at 03:21 PM

perhaps this should be directly noted in the guidelines, then.

~ cq


Monsty is lying, she is going to a truck driver's convention. She told me. She used the language to prove it. -- knockers

"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 07-14-04 at 03:23 PM
Oh, I don't think they'd want to admit it so publicly... all we can do is to grin and bear it -- the clown *does* provide a lot of entertainment, even if it's not always what we'd hope to see from our own kids.



©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." Tom Peters

"RE: hey rasslinmomma...."
Posted by rasslinmomma on 07-14-04 at 03:37 PM
I "lurked" long before my first post, so I was familiar with Shakes and eloquent ways. I knew long before I began posting that I couldn't possibly compete in a battle of wits with arguments such as "shut up.......so just shut up."

Unfortunately, not all newbies have lurked long enough to understand Shakes' "special circumstances." Some may be offended, and some may leave our community. Others my think this is the norm and end up booted due to behavior they learned from him.

I do enjoy the humor in the majority of Shakes' posts. He adds flava to the discussion. But he's not the only one. I can name many peeps here whose posts are respectful of others while also being entertaining and insightful.

I know his "bad" behavior is tolerated, winked at, and otherwise ignored. I'm not sure why.



Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004


"hey shnookie..."
Posted by shakes the clown on 07-14-04 at 11:28 PM
>SB Guidelines:
>"As entertainment critic Roger Ebert once
>said, "If you disagree with
>something I write, tell me
>so, argue with me, correct
>me--but don't tell me to
>shut up. That's not the
>American way."
>
>Guess they don't apply to you
>huh Shakes?

...you've got over 13,000 redundant useless posts and you're just NOW figuring that out.


Geez, remind me to keep you away from the long division.

"RE: hey shnookie..."
Posted by greenmonstah on 07-15-04 at 08:27 AM
Hey it's the arithmetic clown -- he adds trouble, subtracts pleasure, divides attention, and multiplys ignorance.


A 2004 Augie Original: Action figure sold separately


And the funny, ha ha part of all this? You find what I just wrote to be a compliment.

"RE: hey shnookie..."
Posted by GlassJax on 07-15-04 at 10:47 AM
That.Is.Hilarious


Did you come up with that all by yourself Monstah, or did you pick it up somewhere. (I need to know who to credit, if I quote it.)

"RE: hey shnookie..."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 07-15-04 at 10:52 AM
Knowing monstah, she came up with it on her own.



©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." Tom Peters

"Woo hoo!!!"
Posted by rasslinmomma on 07-14-04 at 02:55 PM
It took me less than 200 posts to get flamed by the spinning head!!

...and I love cats too, O Shaky One



Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004


"RE: Woo hoo!!!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 07-14-04 at 03:16 PM
*high five*

You've now been properly initiated in this site!



©Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004
"If you're not confused, you're not paying attention." Tom Peters

"RE: Woo hoo!!!"
Posted by ginger on 07-14-04 at 03:59 PM
Bumping, so I become the Lesser of Two Evils when I make certain comments in this week's TAR summary.


The order of Banana delivery should be organized by location to save on shipping costs.

"RE: Woo hoo!!!"
Posted by true on 07-14-04 at 05:57 PM
Just FTR, that was not a Shakes flame. Shakes only says "shut up" when he is admitting you are right about something. It's a term of endearment, really, it is. See, technically the term may be dwarf, but Shakes loves Midgets, so he was using some poetic license, if you will.

All I know is how pleased Buggy will be that Shakes is so fond of midgets.


"RE: Woo hoo!!!"
Posted by ginger on 07-14-04 at 06:03 PM
Well, Shakes ain't exactly Shaq himself.


Although I'm sure he makes every inch count .

The order of Banana delivery should be organized by location to save on shipping costs.

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by bondt007 on 07-14-04 at 05:24 PM

...did you all see the preview vid caps of Ep. #3, where she is eating all of that chocolate?

Now, do you remember the 2nd Austen Powers, when mini-me was stuffing his face with chocolate?

...sorry, I thought I had a point...

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by dabo on 07-15-04 at 00:36 AM

at least she's not a troll

"RE: She's a MIDGET, not a little person!"
Posted by mikey on 07-15-04 at 08:49 AM
The Drew Carey Show once had a character called "Mini Mimi"