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"Dancing With The Stars #6 Episode #5 East Coast Update Thread"
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 02:02 PM
Please keep all discussion of tonight's activities in the No Fun League (a wholly-owned subsidiary of the NFL) on this thread until after the West Coast gets to see who will land in the judges' personal Bottom Two for daring to make fun of Carrie-Ann's steadily-increasing desire to throw one or more contestants to the dance floor and violate the PG-13 rule in style for at least twenty minutes. Each.

And no smiling. Smiling isn't part of Len's ideal movement list.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Dancing With The Stars #6 Episode #5 East Coast Update Thread"
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:00 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-08 AT 07:00 PM (EST)

Folks, the pickins' are slim tonight,

Drink of the night

Kentucky Bourbon - rocks or neat; lime and tonic on hand.

supper

My mothers, payday is a week away bourbon roast casserole
To left over roast (she added a bit of bourbon or whiskey to her roast for rue) add cabbage, carrots, mushrooms, onions, garlic - whatever you find in the bottom of the fridge. Sometimes she'd add potatoes or rice.

Funny how the roast was sometimes pork, sometimes beef, but there was always bourbon.

"Marlee & Fabian: 21"
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:15 PM
A fast jive, but they weren't completely on beat. And Carrie has decided to complain about Marlee having 'pancake hands'. Whatever those are. Other than something that's giving Slicey the cold sweats.

Seriously -- pancake hands? With or without syrup?

"Marlee and Fabian"
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:16 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-31-08 AT 07:21 PM (EST)

Jive!
I thought it was Quick step, very nice -

etfix dance

"RE: Marlee and Fabian"
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 09:49 AM
I echo Estee in what the heck are pancake hands???? I swear, Carrie Ann works harder each season to be a critical beeyotch just for the sake of being a beeyotch.
"Steve & Jonathan Anna: 21 "
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:24 PM
Anna spends most of the week down for the count with a virus, so Steve uses it to practice with a pinch hitter: Jonathan, who's happy to sub in for his wife. While the shots that follow prove some May-October relationships just don't make for a photogenic couple, Steve seems to have learned something from the experience: he comes out as Dudley-Do-Right With The Tango -- jaw at maximum square! -- and brings back his highest score to date. Bruno feels Steve must do more dancing with men to continue learning. Steve considers switching partners.

Steve is also talking about the other contestants as his 'teammates'. He's here to make friends!

"RE: Steve & Jonathan Anna: 21 "
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:26 PM
Man on Man Tango works for the Gute!!
"RE: Steve & Jonathan Anna: 21 "
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:28 PM
I do like Gute! Not quite to standard, but cute.
"RE: Steve & Jonathan Anna: 21 "
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 07:33 PM
Hey, Jonathan got Marie to the final 3 last season. Working with the Gute was probably a breeze.
"RE: Steve & Jonathan Anna: 21 "
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 09:50 AM
Steve is getting a little better, but he still bores me.

Actually, this whole show bores me more each year (can't wait until SYTYCD starts).

"Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:31 PM
And just to keep up the trend of slightly different guest trainers, Cheryl sends Cristian to brush up his game with a sea lion. (The AFA will still be sending letters in the morning.) After that, Cristian comes out and dances as if his latest partner is chasing him across the stage. Lots of energy and he seems to be having fun at last, but the judges feel he has a free arm that isn't working out, perhaps because it's holding a fish. It's his best dance to date, though.

Next up: Adam dances with a weasel! In his pants! (No visible change.)

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:34 PM
Man on Man-SeaLion Jive, not so good for Cristian, IMO.

Is it just me, or does his "I'm having fun, now" face look a bit like he is channeling Dexter Morgan pretending to have fun because Dad told him that is what people do?

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:40 PM
Do we need to check the last two slides for Penn and Monica's blood?
"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 07:37 PM
What's with the lame gags with Christian and Cheryl? The military uniform last week, the sea lion this week. Sheesh.

I wasn't as overwhelmed by their jive as Bruno obviously was. I've been somewhat underwhelmed by Cheryl's choreography in the last few seasons.

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:39 PM
Crisitan looks as though he is trying waay to hard. I'm willing to sit back and watch him work hard on it, with no sleeves.

BTW - the sleeveless thing was the kiss of death for my poor Cameron

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 09:52 AM
That sea lion bit was just plain stupid. I guess Cheryl is hoping all the cheesy bits will take the spotlight off of the *gasp* scandal she is allegedly involved in and sea lions here and there will make Cristian more likeable.

The sea lion would be a better partner.

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by catsnotkids on 04-01-08 at 02:58 PM
Hmmm - what scandal?
"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: score after the break."
Posted by Snidget on 04-01-08 at 04:20 PM
Probably this one

http://www.tmz.com/2008/03/19/rep-denies-steamy-dancing-affair/

"Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:38 PM
Cristian blows Bruno a kiss. (The AFA is having a long night...)

Mario's got a busy week, so Cheryl comes on the road with him. Rumors? What rumors? They get addressed -- sort of: maybe they'll date, maybe they won't...

...and maybe they'll experience the greatest musical collapse in series history.

Tango to 'Roxanne'. Done in a tango drama faux operatic beat. They have put out the red light and found it was on fire.

I am in pain.

Mario's jaw was doing a Gute, and the judges noticed: it's his worst dance yet: too much performance, too little posture, and let's not even talk about the music.

Commercial break. Recovery time. Drinking. Lots of drinking...

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:40 PM
Someone should be shot for that rendition of Roxanne.

Oh, and has Mario always had that chin-strap penguin beard, or is that new?

"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:41 PM
Someone should be shot for that rendition of Roxanne.

That was so bad, I thought it was Tuesday.
"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:43 PM
*snort*
"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:42 PM
That was a bit disappointing, but what can one do? Won't get them voted off though.
"RE: Cristian & Cheryl: 25. Mario & Karina: scores after the break."
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 07:42 PM
You know, the Tango Roxanne was one of my favorite sequences in Moulin Rouge, so I'm hoping to erase that dreck from my memory as soon as possible.

The footwork was just terrible. Even Karina kept messing it up and taking extra steps, although that was probably because Mario was pushing her so much. Tango is her downfall. The judges hated her tango with Mario 1.0 also.

"M&K: 21. Shannon & Derek: scores after the break."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:50 PM
Actual spread on the scores here: Carrie 7, Len 6, Bruno 8.

Shannon starts by kicking Derek around during training -- equating jive kicks to kickboxing gets them into the ring -- and then beats herself into the ground during the dance. A double cartwheel begins, and from there, nothing ever slows down -- to the detriment of Shannon, who gets her favorable critique while kneeling on the floor, exhausted. (Quasi-according to Tom, there's so much heavy breathing that the voting may now be done by 900 number.) Derek and Shannon decide to use the commercial break for a nap. Marie immediately files an infringement lawsuit.

"RE: M&K: 21. Shannon & Derek: scores after the break."
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:52 PM
Carrie Ann was channeling Kimmah.

What was she doing with that Sharpie?

"RE: M&K: 21. Shannon & Derek: scores after the break."
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:53 PM
Looked like Derek pulled her though by sheer force of will. Not too too bad though.
"RE: M&K: 21. Shannon & Derek: scores after the break."
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 07:53 PM
You know, this is the first season that I haven't had a favorite from the get-go. I think I'm starting to fall in love with Shannon a little bit though. She's obviously having fun and I like that you can see her actually improving from week to week. I hope she makes it far.
"RE: M&K: 21. Shannon & Derek: scores after the break."
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 09:55 AM
Shannon was seriously UNDERSCORED! How could she score less than Priscilla's Zombie Tango??
"Is Julianne in the Witness Protection Program?"
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 07:54 PM
I can't recognize her in that wig!
"RE: Is Julianne in the Witness Protection Program?"
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 07:57 PM
She stole Cheryl's dress and wig!
"RE: Is Julianne in the Witness Protection Program?"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 07:57 PM
LMAO. I hope she doesn't pull out the wig crap to distract from Adam like Karina did with Billy Ray a few seasons ago.
"RE: Is Julianne in the Witness Protection Program?"
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:01 PM
Adam needs more skin! Adam needs more sex appeal!

Not his...

"S&D: 24. Adam & Julianne: scores after the break -- again."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 07:59 PM
Derek says he likes to be beaten around a little. Good to know.

Adam thinks Julianne deserves better than him. So do we, because he comes out with the music declaring that he can't tell a waltz from a tango, followed by demonstrating his point. Julianne seems to have decided she can only win if Adam does nothing, so this dance is spent moving around a mostly-immobile partner. The judges feel this is Adam's best dance to date. Carrie thinks Adam was sexy.

The dance started when Adam popped up from behind the judges' bench. I think he was drugging them.

"RE: S&D: 24. Adam & Julianne: scores after the break -- again."
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:01 PM
Heh. At least he was moving a little bit and mostly in time to the music. He didn't just sit on a chair like Tucker Carlson. Julianne made him do some work.
"RE: S&D: 24. Adam & Julianne: scores after the break -- again."
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 09:58 AM
Hey, Adam is getting better. Good for him. His dancing is not why I am voting for him, though. As long as he continues cracking jokes like last night that make me laugh until I cry, I'm voting him to stay.

He cracked me up -- and I am a former Mormon (and former Catholic) two religions ripe for making fun of.

I love seeing Julianne squirm, too.

"A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:10 PM
21?

Did Adam bring enough for everybody?

Apparently he brought some sedatives, because Marissa launches into the last thing we'd expect: a low-energy jive. The only thing really moving out there is her skirt, and did you count the number of times it went all the way up? The AFA was! (Who dressed Tony? Can they be stopped?) Marissa decided to hold back this week on the last dance you low-key on, and she's going to suffer for it.

Backstage. Who ordered the mild breakdown?

I think we've got one of our Bottom Two.

"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 08:13 PM
I think that outfit sucked the life out of her. She didn't look comfortable at all.
"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:14 PM
*sigh* I love Marissa. I think the judges, especially Carrie Anne, were unnecessarily hard on her. She didn't deserve that. She definitely DID NOT deserve to be scored below Adam or Mario.
"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:16 PM
I feel like Carrie is scoring with her hormones this season.
"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 08:28 PM
That or the Sharpie fumes are getting to her.
"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by qwertypie on 03-31-08 at 11:41 PM
GAWD that dress was fugly (and not in a good way).

I know she is short, but if they would let her dance on heels that were 1/2" to 1" shorter, she would do much, much better.

"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by CTgirl on 04-01-08 at 06:20 AM
Those shoes were all out of proportion to her body. It looked like she was dancing on toothpicks.
"RE: A&J: 21. Marissa & Tony: 19"
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 10:03 AM
Okay, now I am far from being a Marissa fan, but that was just wrong last night. Carrie Ann continues to reach new depths of bitchiness.

After last night's harsh words, I wouldn't blame poor Marissa for crying. I give her a cry pass this week.

She needs better costumes. I'm all for people owning their body type, but more flattering costumes would make Marissa look smaller and more feminine.

I hope Tony hires a hit on that nasty Carrie Ann. I despise her more each season. Still don't know why she is a judge in a ballroom competition.

"Priscilla & Louis: "
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:14 PM
Tango. Sponsored by Sominex. Priscilla's perfectionism has mathematically dissected the dance into something composed of 0s and 1s. The judges love the 'male pursues, female doesn't care' theme, but I found Priscilla's dance to be cold and passionless. The panel feels that's a character establishment. I feel it's emotions skidding off Teflon.
"RE: Priscilla & Louis: "
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:24 PM
I agree 100% with everything you said. Overscored, imho.
"RE: Priscilla & Louis: "
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 10:06 AM
Boring, nothing at all special and WAY OVERSCORED. What the heck? Is it April Fool's Day one day earlier and the judges are scoring opposites?
"RE: Couldn't agree more"
Posted by mindy23 on 04-01-08 at 01:13 PM

About the off kilter scoring that was going on last night!!! What was the deal with Mario and Karina?? They were falling all over each other-the judges even said so!! And yet their scores were high?? HUH???

"RE: Priscilla & Louis: "
Posted by Zimbochick on 04-01-08 at 05:49 PM
I found Priscilla's dance to be cold and passionless.


It's because her face doesn't move, at all!

"*blinking*"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:27 PM
I will give every last dollar I have to see HIM dancing!
"P&L: 26. Jason & Edyta: 23. "
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:28 PM
Maybe someone else should segcap next week. I'm clearly not in tune with the judges this season. I may or may not be wearing Steve's pot-cap: I haven't decided.

Priscilla: 'I'm not a performer...' Gah.

And then it's just a night for low-energy jives, as Jason comes out and restrains himself all over the floor. The judges like his posture lines, but everyone agrees that he's taken a step back from last week. Maybe he got a few too many calls from his football buddies, or he's just worried about his bow tie flying off -- but the overly-dedicated control drops him in the standings.

One to go. Is it just me, or has this been a really long night?

"RE: P&L: 26. Jason & Edyta: 23. "
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:29 PM
I enjoyed Jason & Edyta's dance, although I swear Edyta's costume is recycled from that crazy one she wore last season. It was almost exactly the same.
"RE: P&L: 26. Jason & Edyta: 23. "
Posted by Snidget on 03-31-08 at 08:30 PM
Was that Jiffy-Pop?
"RE: P&L: 26. Jason & Edyta: 23. "
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:32 PM
Yep, freshly buttered and salted.
"RE: P&L: 26. Jason & Edyta: 23. "
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 08:32 PM
Ooooh, that's who that was!
"If there's a tie tomorrow..."
Posted by udg on 03-31-08 at 11:17 PM
Can we pretty please have a fire starting challenge?
"RE: If there's a tie tomorrow..."
Posted by catsnotkids on 04-01-08 at 09:47 AM
Ha! That was great- what was he doing there, anyway? In the audience or on the stage? So odd...
"Probst appearnce, TVguide.com coverage"
Posted by Snidget on 04-01-08 at 01:39 PM
"Then there's Bergeron, who's been threatening to lose his voice and let American Idol's Ryan Seacrest – who works right down the hall – take over the hosting duties. Seacrest didn't get the nod, but Survivor's Jeff Probst did, which meant that a CBS star was briefly in charge of the ABC hit. "Basically, Tom has been wanting to do this with Ryan for several seasons," says DWTS cohost Samantha Harris. "But Probst was in the audience tonight."

Does Harris think that the producers were panicking a little in the control room? That their star was choking up and that a familiar face that is usually stuck on a deserted island was taking over? "I’m sure," says Harris with vast understatement, "that it was a very interesting control room."

For his part, Probst was happy to go along with the gag. "My very first job was working with Tom on the FX Network," says Probst. "He was hosting a morning show and he was like the guy. He was the guy everyone else looked to to see how it's done. He's so good. And you can really see it here when he's flying off the cuff."

But Probst isn't here for Bergeron: He came as a guest of an old friend, Marlee Matlin. Can Probst dance? "No," he says. "But I try. I take salsa lessons on Wednesday nights with some friends, and I'm so bad. When I watch these guys out here I think it's amazing. How can they remember all the steps, let alone worrying about not making a silly face?"
link

"Mark & Kristi"
Posted by Loree on 03-31-08 at 08:35 PM
Why can't Mark keep his mouth closed? It is distracting.
"RE: Mark & Kristi"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:36 PM
I was thinking the exact same thing! It was like he was catching flies ore something! Other than that, I love to watch him.
"He looks like a fish!"
Posted by udg on 03-31-08 at 11:19 PM
I love Kristi, but I had to cover my eyes halfway through that routine. Mark's gasping for breath, fish out of water thing was horrible!
"RE: Mark & Kristi"
Posted by CattyChat on 04-01-08 at 10:11 AM
Kristi is phenomenal. Mark's mouth aerobics was really distracting and annoying. So NOT sexy.

I agree that the songs sucked last night. The band deserved NO applause.

Carrie Ann still being a bit@h. She's jealous that Kristi can dance better in such a short period of time. And Kristi is aging much better than Carrie Ann. Kristi = Goddess. Carrie Ann = Sea Hag.

"RE: Mark's mouth"
Posted by mindy23 on 04-01-08 at 01:19 PM
What the heck was that about?? Hubby said it must have been part of the routine! I laughed and said, 'no, honey, I don't think so!!'

Did he not realize how ridiculous that looked?? At first I thought he was singing along, then realized there were NO WORDS! How weird was that!

I'm still flabbergasted by the stupid scores!

I just hope Marrisa goes home. Tired of seeing her pout....about nothing in general, except that she can't dance! And poor Tony.......how did he end up with that mess? Did he do something to Jane Seymore last season?


"RE: Dancing With The Stars #6 Episode #5 East Coast Update Thread"
Posted by DebCapsFan on 03-31-08 at 08:36 PM
Boy the music is really painful tonight.
It took me a minute and a half to recognize Roxanne. I thought he was saying "I'm sad."
"RE: Dancing With The Stars #6 Episode #5 East Coast Update Thread"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:38 PM
Subliminally, I'm sure he was.
"RE: Dancing With The Stars #6 Episode #5 East Coast Update Thread"
Posted by qwertypie on 03-31-08 at 09:01 PM

It took me a minute and a half to recognize Roxanne
By my caculations, that equals 6 shots.

"Not the only one!"
Posted by udg on 03-31-08 at 11:21 PM
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be over on YouTube trying to flush this version from my mind with the Moulin Rouge version.
"Samantha's dress"
Posted by StarryLuna on 03-31-08 at 08:37 PM
makes her look preggers again. Surely just wishful thinking on my part.
"(Pimp spot) Kristi & Mark: 27."
Posted by Estee on 03-31-08 at 08:39 PM
Mark feels Kristi needs to express her emotions more in the tango, so gets a performance coach to work with her for the week. Kristi takes those lessons to heart and comes out with -- a frozen mask of disgust that never so much as flinches throughout the performance. Who does she think she is, Priscilla?

Carrie calls her on the lack of connection, but -- it's the technical aspects that count on this one, so out come the 9s, and off we go to the results show.

I really miss Penn.

"To Estee......"
Posted by whimsey on 03-31-08 at 08:41 PM
Thanks for hosting, you're great!