Hey Snidget! Thirsty?

VERY!

LAST EDITED ON 03-24-08 AT 07:34 PM (EST)

I may be taking some liberties here, but for us girls.......

Gentle Ladies punch:

Champaign, fruit sorbet, triple sec served with frozen bits of fruit. With a Jack Daniels chaser.

And a side order of 'a flat and collapsed spotted #####'. Please don't explain what it is, I want my mind to wander.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

Hey, here in Canada it is only episode #2 (cause nobody wants to see the women celebs dance)
Thanks for your support!

Someone may want to tell Len that when Americans picture 'a flat and collapsed spotted dick', they're not getting what he's getting.

Steve's just too enthusiastic. This show makes the world a better place? (As Tom notes: one low score at a time.) Someone's just happy to be on a channel other than TV Land. He enjoys the dancing, that's clear -- he's just not good at it.

Then again, we just saw two examples of his fan base in action: training and audience. He's got people out there -- but how many?

I do love me some "Gut" Guttenberg. He gets one of my pretend votes. There are only 2, so you may move to the edge of your seats now in anticipation.

Presenting the world's least promising Mafia applicant.

It was fast, high-energy, and had some actual character to it. I'm just not sure it was a quickstep. He's doing better on posture, but he's still not entirely sure what dance he's doing. (And he still comes across as being a little too full of himself -- without the backing for it.)

Samantha thinks the elimination is a straight one-in-six chance per gender. But that's okay, because so does Cristian.

Maybe they should have children.

But he's so pretty........

As someone that may eventually end up teaching if the funding runs out.

*TWITCH* just thinking about Samantha/Cristian Spawn

From the department of Bad Song Choices: 'Never Gonna Get It'. No, Monica, you are never going to get it. The facial expressions, the high scores, the mambo, the chance to make it into the second month -- you're never going to get any of it, because you don't get the idea of dance. Not unless you make a major change. You're going to have to open up... and I'm getting kind of curious as to what you're so afraid of letting out.

At least Marie was supposed to be dancing like a dead doll.

Flashbacks,I'm having flashbacks.

There's only one thing to do! Drink more!

Make that 'the chance to get into the third week': America will have to save her, because the judges ain't gonna.

Samantha goes with the 'serve up another performance' line. At least she didn't laugh at it.

Monica: "I don't know the difference between a mambo and a mango "

Yeah, honey, we get that.

Speaking of bad song choices:

'It's gonna get bad and it's gonna get worse.'

Save us, save us...

Can we get one of those voodoo dolls made for Samantha?

So he breaks the equipment by accident, he uses the broken pieces as an posture bar, and the judges have no idea how to respond to him 'cause he insists on responding right back. Penn's having a great time, and most of that is because he likes torturing people. That alone makes him worth keeping for an extra week -- or six.

Or a five from Bruno. Gee, I guess he decided the voodoo doll was him. (Wonder if it hurt?)

If you can't be good, at least be fun.

Bruno had better watch it. Penn's one 5 away from sitting at the judging table and critiquing him.

Are you on the edge of your seat yet???? I know!! Who to vote for!?!?!

I love how the judges, hosts, etc. can barely get a word in edgewise. The guy is used to working a two-man show with a mute partner, and it shows. Then again, I'd actually rather listen to Penn than most of the other people on the show, so it's hard to complain.

LAST EDITED ON 03-24-08 AT 07:57 PM (EST)

I know I was probably supposed to be impressed by that, but I feel like I was watching a joint check from a early-model Fembot. Or, worse, Julie Chen. Even Len thinks she's moving like she was programmed...

Women whose faces are nipped and tucked until they look like cats should not wear animal print and crawl on the floor.

Oh I agree. That was creepy.

Ms Presley's legs and feet are fabulous. If she would just have a bit of confidence in the rest of her body, as DANCMSTR put it "give it a bit of come on girl".

And that's why we call them Team Sex. Gee, imagine what it's going to be like when they actually feel comfortable with each other...

Shannon is starting to move. Exuberance is still overriding the training instead of being channeled by it, but she's definitely making progress.

I'm giving them most improved so far. She doesn't look like the same dancer from last week.

There was a .... wud I miss..... went for snacks....Sorry.

Edyta is giving Jason "the most crazy routine I've ever given anyone."

Uh-oh --

-- oh.

Dear Cristian: in case you ever question what 'sexy' looks like long enough to glance away from a mirror? That was it. She gave him a playbook and he memorized it, then went out and nailed the movement pattern. And then some.

The male athlete has been a serious contender before in this series -- and this one's starting to loosen up...

*fans self*

I approve of that dance. He can stay.

>*fans self*
>
>I approve of that dance.
>He can stay.

He certainly can stay at my house!
(oops, I guess you meant he should stay on the show...That too!)

Whew! That was a dancing definition of sexy. Best quality... I don't think he's mesmerized by himself in the mirror. (Unlike others who will not be named)

He just earned all my votes.

You know when you go to the drug store for condoms in the hopes of .... but then you're in line in front of your gym/science teacher/coach???

Hoped for the best, but life will make you second guess.

Also, Samantha just ovulated. (Quick! If someone acts now, we can lose her for another nine months!)

Caution: Mood Swings Ahead. Marissa needs a bit of comforting before she can go back to powering the eastern seaboard with her energy. Well, she is rather pregnant at the moment...

Carrie-Ann's glad Marissa's still here. Carrie has forgotten that no one's been eliminated yet.

A decent quickstep. Nowhere near perfect, but more within the boundaries of the dance than the performance we got last week. She's improving -- but as with Penn, I'm not sure the judges know what to do with her.

I was wondering what that "still here" comment was about.

Does she think this is Survivor and people just randomly quit each week?

Broadcaster voice:

"I'm glad you brought that up Estee. Could the hormones be an issue?"

Dunno. What's the hormone factor when your child's being carried by a surrogate?

LAST EDITED ON 03-24-08 AT 08:56 PM (EST)

The 8 months of hormones before the fertilization ..... match...3months to be sure .... implantation into gestational carrier ... 12 months to come down from the birth.

ETA: gestational carrier references ... decided you'd figure it out.

'Surrogate' sounds so much better than 'gestational carrier'. 'Gestational Carrier' sounds like a new model of Ford minivan.

Jimmy Kimmel is in the audience. And Ben Affleck isn't with him.

Be afraid.

Good man Tony! Get those votes!

Adam tells us that we may have seen the mambo, but this won't be it.

It's nice to be warned. But we watched it anyway.

We're looking at Julianne's strategy: the lower the score gets, the less she's going to wear. (If Adam survives to see Week #5, ABC is going off the air.) And we're also looking at Adam's strategy: no matter what happens, wear a matching tie.

Len is stunned into incoherence. It's happy incoherence... gee, I hope Adam didn't just kill him...

Samantha wants to know what the story of the dance was. I call it 'The Guy Who Went Home On Tuesday.'

A six. Another six. And a seven from a possibly-dying Len.

Wow. I guess Billy Ray just picked the wrong season.

At least he can laugh at himself.

Because if he didn't have that, he'd be screwed.

LAST EDITED ON 03-24-08 AT 09:17 PM (EST)

How do you recover from calling a judge a beotch? Prick, you don't.
eta spelling

>How so you recover from calling
>a judge a beotch?
>Prick, you don't.

Actually, I'm surprised.

Who knew? ...
You can improve your scores by swearing at a judge?

Problem with this dance: less eye contact with the quickstep, not as much chance for cues... There's more straight memorization involved. Fortunately, she's good at that.

Bruno nails it: she has a lot of stage presence, but the dance was a weird quickstep/mambo hybrid. Marlee has to get the character of the dance down -- or she has to turn into Adam, for whom it doesn't seem to matter. She's got talent, but like Marissa, she has to regulate it -- or the 8s are her peak.

One fan wants to know if Marlee will be deaf for the entire show. Samantha will certainly be clueless for the duration...

Yep, Samantha will never get that Marlee's hands don't need the microphone to talk.

...would someone else please describe this? All I could see was Mark's LSD-worthy facial contortions.

I was trying to figure out what kind of mutant virus infected Kristi's gloves.

According to Steve, there's twenty-five million people tuned in to this show. Someone must have seen the dance -- right?

twenty-five million infected ... so many more to go

Highest score of the night, again. Precision, precision, precision. She had trouble loosening up in rehearsal, but she went all out on the floor. Now, I'm wishing we'd seen her the same season as Apollo. That could have been fun!

Does someone who got that kind of first-dance score need the pimp spot?

This is Jason's major competition. Mario still has to do a little work on finesse and getting his body to match Len's exacting posture requirements, but other than that, the man has pretty much no problems at all.

Well, other than being distracted by whatever-the-hell-that-is on Karina's face.

Again, we are in the drugstore, awaiting checkout....
Music, check! Candles, check! Panties dropping, incoherent babbling, take. me. now ....check!

Twenty minutes later ... lock the door on your way out, check!

I like Jason better than Mario. And I also like Edyta better than Karina.

And you compare the two because.........

but I hope you don't bite.

Just sayin'.

Thanks Estee.

And I forgot to watch! shows you how dedicated to this one I am - I can't even remember what nite it's on.
Well, on the bright side, I didn't have to get wasted with ya'll.

On our way to the Final 4 with Agman