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"Be The Survivor" S35 Ep01: "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Constipated""

Posted by RollDdice on 09-27-17 at 09:32 PM

35 seasons. If that was in human years instead of television seasons, you'd have someone with thinning hair, acid reflux, mom jeans and a world-class anti-depressant addiction. Not so different here, but we spread it out over three tribes of Heroes, Healers and Head Cases... uhhm, Hustlers.

If threesomes are your thing, you're in luck. After the three tribes depart the floating Costco, they row ashore and try to capture fire from their designated catapult.

After that it's off to the Survivor Mixer and the "wanna form an alliance?" whisper fest.




Mark "Yes, it's possible to have 'too many' John Cochrans" Burnett

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep01: "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Constipated""
Posted by michel2 on 09-27-17 at 09:41 PM
Since Hustlers played for Flint, who will be playing for Hef and Guccione?

The Football player is showing just how dangerous that game is to the brain.


"RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep01: "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Constipated""
Posted by personofinterest on 09-28-17 at 10:32 AM
I thought the same thing about the NFL player!

"RE: Be The Survivor" S35 Ep01: "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Constipated""
Posted by Aruba on 09-28-17 at 06:19 PM
Kudos on a very clever and ingenious post. How ironic Hef passed away probably about the time you posted your comment. I think Guccione passed a while back. But that's ok, because dead dudes have about the same sporting chance as 40+ year-old castaways with the greatest divide in Reality Show history still obnoxiously prevalent.

"Nasty Mc Bathrooms"
Posted by kingfish on 09-28-17 at 06:02 PM
LAST EDITED ON 09-28-17 AT 06:06 PM (EST)

Yeah, once again I had to assume a new identity because the old one became a little too well known. So far I, Nasty McBathrooms - a descendent of the Irish Wormy Crapper Clan, our tartan is brown stripes on a brown background, designed by the founder of the clan, Shite McBathrooms. Actually there is funny story there, about why it's brown on brown, apparently the tartan of the old tribe was actually white until old Shite ate some underdone chicken, and, well, I won't bore you with the details, but now it's brown splatter on a brown background - am the only super spoiler to show up, apparently the Super Slithery Sleuthy Spy girls from the Really Really Raunchy School of Blasphemous Babes and Carburetor Tuning are no shows for now.

Maybe they are still on the World Women's Wrestling tour, they love to pin each other to the ground and, well let's say they have their fun. Or are out harassing old folks homes. They just love to see old codgers try to run on those old knees, falling, not able to get up, shaking their knotty old fists. losing their dentures. Ha. It can be a really amusing sight, I'll admit. I hope they are taking pictures.

But do they let me know where they were, or when they might return to their duties here on the island? Me, the guy who has nurtured them, let them suckle at my breast all these years (OK, maybe it was the other way around, but you get the idea), who tutored them in the finer aspects of Moped customization, and taught them all they know about the long con as well as the fine art of weaseling spoilers out of Survivor personnel? Who taught them that it was OK to use their supple little bodies in any way they can to get those spoilers? Who in fact let them use his body as a practice dummy for the honey pot cons?

No. They didn't. And as a result the Turtle Express Spoiler Mail service came up empty this week, and I am forced to relay the spoilers that I know are true, but will just have to wait for actual proof of.

Really for Sure Spoiler #1: They kicked the oldest survivor out first. There are no excuses in Survivor, and Millennials do not take prisoners.

Really for Sure Spoiler #2: Chrissy wins the Puke cup award. That plus not having her cherished eyebrow tweezers does not bode well for her longevity.

Really for Sure Spoiler #3: Chrissy also receives the gift of the first HI. The HI was originally found by some guy (don't ask me for names in the first week) and was only good for the first TC, but could be used after the votes were read. His tribe was safe that week, so he had to decide who on the tribe that was going to TC to give it to. So he consulted the magic 8 ball coconut which when shaken read "Chrissy is easy". And he took that as a sign to give it to Chrissy.

The story continues.

When she accompanies her tribe to TC Chrissy confesses (reads the card that the producers gave her) that she is torn up deciding if she should give it to someone else or if she should use it on herself. OF COURSE SHE SHOULD SAVE IT FOR HERSELF AND NOT GIVE IT AWAY!!! (Sorry, I thought that by shouting she might hear me.) If she used it to nullify the vote of the tribe, she would certainly be resented for it, and might even (depending on exactly what the rules for the HI were) be voted out instead.

End of Story. (Pant, pant - I need to run more often.)

Really for Sure Spoiler #4: In other news, there are a dearth of fashion models this year, there is some eye candy but it seems that on the whole they recruited mostly normal folks, and one surfer dude.

Really for Sure Spoiler #5: The island cannibals thought Katrina was kinda stringy.

Nasty McBathrooms,
Three sheets per customer, one up, one down, and one to polish it off with


"RE: Nasty Mc Bathrooms"
Posted by Aruba on 09-28-17 at 07:14 PM
Nice job Kingfish.

Maybe I was hearing things but I could have sworn Chrissy said if she got the most votes at TC she would obviously use it on herself. Her indecision was if she did not get the most votes she wasn't sure whether she would just hang on to it (even though knowing it was only for that TC) or give it to the person with the most votes. I'm pretty sure she went on to say that would depend on who got the most votes.

But don't take my word for it; I didn't even know what they meant by "Hustler" in this season's title/theme.

In any event, I believe she made the best decision in the end.


"RE: Nasty Mc Bathrooms"
Posted by kingfish on 09-29-17 at 11:53 AM
LAST EDITED ON 09-29-17 AT 05:52 PM (EST)

The quote I remember from her was "...I'll let the discussion at TC tonite dictate whether or not I'll play it, and for whom." That's out of context, and probably paraphrased, but it was to that effect.

As far as the meaning of Hustler, I think Michel made that up.

I agree that she made the best decision, And I agree that there was no doubt that she would play to save herself if she had been voted out. But I also think there was no doubt in her mind as to how she would (or wouldn't) use it, and I suspect that her confessional director had something to do with making it seem as if there was some indecision there.


"RE: Nasty Mc Bathrooms"
Posted by Aruba on 09-29-17 at 06:48 PM
Now you got me thinking, so I went back to the video tape.

The verdict...we both heard correctly. The complete quote is as follows:

Clearly if it's me on the block I'm using it to save myself, I just want to see what plays out and let the discussion at TC dictate to play it and for whom.

I guess the question is the timing of that confessional. If it was made immediately upon discovering she was given the Super Idol, then I believe the quote in its entirety is logical and not scripted. On the other hand, if it was recorded AFTER she already made the decision to join forces with the majority and vote out Katrina, then I could understand one thinking the quote was recited for dramatic effect.