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"Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by RollDdice on 04-15-15 at 10:13 PM

Jenn talks about going home but won't float the Quit Boat. She realizes that she left her lava lamp on back in Long Beach and asks Joe and Shirin to write down her name. Or maybe she'll win the Immunity Idol and give it Joe. There's also the chicken adoption papers to fill out. Has Medical checked her recently for head wounds? Her eggs are definitely not sunny side up.

Meanwhile, Survivors compete in the Five Golden Rings Candy Crush Reward Challenge. Joe makes an Etsy Hidden Immunity Idol Necklace and Rod tries out his Mike impression for his first post-Survivor gig at Boston's legendary comedy club, The Giggle Hut.




Mark "Providing Survivor Rewards for less than $20 a day" Burnett

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Messages in this discussion
"Skinned belly buttons, or "
Posted by kingfish on 04-16-15 at 10:37 AM
The episode where Probst get his rocks watching the Compound Fracture Challenge.

Hello, Hello, Hello, here we are again, and more significantly, here I am again, yours truly, Coconut Bob, bringing the latest and greatest spoilers from the 60th floor of my Rockefeller plaza replica on my hidden Manhattan island replica located where no one will ever think to look, and where I will never tell, but where the party never ends.

This week I have been doing a little spying and spoiling of my own (yeah, the old man’s got game, you betcha) with my night vision equipped telescope, and from this vantage point I can see every survivor and production crew freckle and mosquito bite in 3-D. I got this telescope thinking I would have fun with the skinny dippers, then the skinny dippers turned out to be Shirin and Max. Big letdown. Still, I get every nip slip from Jenn. That works for me.

Also, I can accurately report that Survivor does not supply any depilatory products, no waxing kits, not even any razors. Sad fact, but I know that as true fans you all were wondering about that, and that you would demand eyewitness proof. I have it. With zoomed up video. Lots of stubble, Shirin’s stubble is especially impressive in its density and expansiveness, and may hint as to why she gets so worked up over monkey sex. And why she isn’t embarrassed to drop her bikini bottom. She has a built in bikini bottom. Nothing compared to Rod’s hair onesy, but it certainly keeps the UVs out.

But even though I sometimes excise my spoiler gathering skills just to keep in the game, it’s the slithery slinky smooth (non-stubbly) bottom girls from the RRR R Girls finishing school of Summer, Spring, Fall, and Winter Sex Olympics that do the real work, so all credit (except for the aforementioned cosmetic pilar maintenance spoilers - those are mine, all mine) goes to them, and the moped choppers they ride in on.

So without further ado, I present this week’s spoilers.

Stubble Spoiler #1 Wouldn’t it be fun to play poker with Rod? Every thought is written in neon on his face.

Just sayin’.

Stubble Spoiler #2 Look for Dan to impart his wise council (although unsolicited, and not appreciated, judging by the looks on the faces of the other survivors) again.

Stubble Spoiler #3 Shirin manages her game by driving in the passengers seat from the back seat (?? - Yeah, me either, but you know, she’s an excutive and a professional whistler, so maybe she understands herself. Maybe?).

Stubble Spoiler #4 The reward challenge will set a Survivor record for compound fractures. And skinned belly buttons.

Stubble Spoiler #5 Mercifully for Dan and Will, the school yard pick was not actually shown. Thankfully for us, their belly slides were shown. Whoever designed that slide has our gratitude.

Stubble Spoiler #6 A few boxes of candy? Again, what a cheap reward! And a cheap product placement. Once again, the EPMB sacrifices his nonexistent integrity for filthy lucre. And didn’t even share.

A few snicker bars. Hummph!

Stubble Spoiler #7 Best fake HI ever. Might have been better if Joe had modeled it after the real ones, but a very nice try anyway.

And just for fun, I’d like to see someone make a realistic fake HI, good enough to fool Probst at TC. We’d have to pay off the cameramen who would have watched it being made, but that’d be doable.

Stubble Spoiler #8 BTW, doesn’t this season disprove the theory that Survivor lore gurus have an advantage playing this game?


"RE: Skinned belly buttons, or "
Posted by suzzee on 04-16-15 at 11:10 AM
Stubble Spoiler #1 Rod could be Mike, or he could be Dan, or he could be Jiffy. What a bluffer.

Stubble Spoiler #2 If I had to ever look for Dan it would be because he owed me money.

Stubble Spoiler #3 Shirin does all the driving, driving everyone to Crazy-Town.

Stubble Spoiler #4 The reward sponsor is the Band-Aid corporation next time.

Stubble Spoiler #5 Yeah, I laughed. Will. Really? How many valiums did it take to get that relaxed?

Stubble Spoiler #6 ALMOND JOY!

Stubble Spoiler #7 Joe's not just another pretty face, you know. He got skills and a booth at the flea market.


Stubble Spoiler #8 Self promotion is not allowed on Survivor Island. SNICKERS!


Bring on the carnage.

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by suzzee on 04-16-15 at 10:48 AM
Congratulations to Mike, new Snickers spokesman (Almond Joy). We the Coconut Support and Promotion Alliance and Tribute Band think (Almond Joy) are really tired of product placement (Sprint) and pandering to bloated and over exposed (Will comes to mind here) (and rather limp) corporations that ignore (Almond effin'Joy) other obvious future reward and snack fests.

This is to serve notice (Almond Joy) that we will not take this abuse much longer. We are sure you can find other abuse to dish out at the next challenge (bring on the food challenge and make them all eat head cheese, which is not cheese at all and personally makes me gag.)

Production: You've been warned (Almond Joy! and Mounds because sometimes you don't feel like a nut.)


Bring on the carnage.


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by kingfish on 04-16-15 at 12:33 PM
Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on the EPMB, he does give us some coconut and nut ad placements.

Next time we won't add pepper spray to the ends of the sharp sticks.


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by suzzee on 04-16-15 at 01:36 PM
But the pepper spray makes him dance, I like dancing pimps.


Bring on the carnage.


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by kingfish on 04-16-15 at 02:38 PM
Good point.

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 Ep09: "Jenn's House of Chicken & Waffle""
Posted by kingfish on 04-21-15 at 03:22 PM
Stubble Spoiler #9

Joe Joe, say it ain't so Joe,
Shoeless Joe is told to go.

Say it ain't so, Joe.