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Original Message
"Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-13-15 at 06:39 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-19-15 AT 05:05 PM (EST)


UPDATE: I have called and the loyal BTSers have answered. Check out some of the contestant assignments below. As Coconut Bob might say, "The word of the day is "legs". Spread the word." Also, please spread the word about this thresd. There is a lot of wise just waiting to be cracked here.
========================================================

Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls and those of you who are still undecided. It is I, Mark "T-Bone" Burnett, your EPMB; the All Wise & Powerful (not to mention the All Tax Deductible) Host.

For those of you playing the home game, this is Survivor's 30th season. That means 15 years of delivering the evil and the stupid, the meek and the menacing to your TV screens week after week.

But this time, instead of offering Blood vs. Water, Salsa vs. Guacamole or Hairspray vs. Bronzer, I present unto you a Class Struggle without any class whatsoever... Worlds Apart.

Here are our Chuckleheads... uhhh... Contestants, so look them over and pick one for your very own. (You're responsible for their collars and shots.)

WHITE COLLAR - Yellow Tribe (MASAYA):

Carolyn Rivera: 52, Corporate Executive - "Corporate Executive"? That's vague enough to qualify her for Witness Protection. Tampa, Fla but IDs herself as a New Yorker twice.

Joaquin Souberbielle: 27, Marketing Director- Valley Stream, NY. Could be fun-- has "sober" right in his name.

greenmachine -Max Dawson: 37, Media Consultant, Topanga, CA.

suzzee - So Kim: 30, Retail Purchasing Agent- Long Beach, CA. (She's "So Raven"? Nah, she's So Kim)

Shirin Oskooi: 31, Yahoo Executive.

Tyler Fredrickson: 33, Ex Talent Agent Assistant (That job title really pushes the boundaries of the term "White Collar"). LA, CA.


BLUE COLLAR - Blue Tribe (ESCAMECA ):

Dan Foley: 47, US Postal Service - Gorham, Maine. (USPS? Guaranteed to be White, crumpled, lost and days late.)

Kelley Remington: 44, NY State Police Investigator- Grand Island, NY.

Lindsey Cascaddan: 24, Hairstylist- College Park, Fla. (Because it's not officially Survivor unless you have a wacky chick with two-toned hair and indiscriminate body art.)

Mike Holloway: 38, Oil Driller. (Because "Lady Driller" sounds offensive for some reason). North Richland Hills, Texas.

Rodney Lavoie, Jr.: 24, General Contractor - (I know I've had several contractors that I've wanted to put on a remote island. But the only prize would be a slow and painful death, filled with excuses about why the torture devices are running late.) Boston, MA.

Sierra Dawn Thomas: 27, Model/Professional Barrel Racer/Criminal Justice Student. (Because nothing says you're career-focused and driven than 3 occupations that you choose via dartboard.) Roy, Utah


NO COLLAR (WTF's a "collar"?: - Red Tribe (NAGAROTE):

Hali Ford: 25, Law Student. San Francisco, CA. (Biggest surprise - finding out that she's not an heir to the Henry Ford/Ford Motor Company fortune)

Jenn Brown: 22, Sailing Instructor. Long Beach, CA. (She'll literally find out that she's up a creek without a paddle board)

Joseph Anglim: 25, Jewelry Designer. (He's just here so he can go home and release his "Survivor" line of jewelry. Why should those tacky Le vian "Chocolate Diamonds" get all the love?)

Nina Poersch: 51, Hearing Advocate. Palmdale, CA. (Has Cochlear Implant and has overcome deafness) (First person to request a sig pic that has her saying "Whut?" wins the game and the rest of us might as well just go home.)

Vince Sly: 32, Coconut Vendor. Santa Monica. (Finally! An occupation that applies to the skills that you need on Survivor. Look for Vince to scoop up those Coconut Futures and dominate the game early.)

Agman2 - Will Sims: 41, "YouTube Sensation". Sherman Oaks, CA. (I don't think that word "occupation" means what you think it means)

Supporting Cast, Inanimate Objects and Assorted Snarkers:
suzzee - Coconut Gallery (AKA: Nut Gallery)
Molaholic - Occasional Poster
Agman2 - Collar Commenter
kingfish - Coconut Bob, Benevolent Benefactor of The Boobies.



Hidden takeout, crouching cookie.


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-13-15 at 06:47 PM
I should mention that Survivor premieres on Wednesday, February 25, 2015 at 8/7 Central but we BTS Faithful will be pre-gaming days in advance.

This is the hottest (non-Kanye interrupted) event in town, so don't forget to pick out a character and sign up Pronto, pups!


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 09:34 PM
got to get my survivor DAW on.
"All lathered up and ready to go."
Posted by kingfish on 02-24-15 at 11:25 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-24-15 AT 11:33 AM (EST)

My girly spies (the very best, as well as the very raunchiest) in the business have been working themselves into a lather preparing for another really really really raunchy season of Survivor spoilage.

They have camouflaged spy shacks (lessons learned from Tony), palm tree blinds, underground spidey holes, drones, submarines, and various forms of wildlife trained to suss out the hidden secrets, desires, and the soft skull spots of this season's mediocre examples of Outwitters, Outplayers, and Outlasters.

Inevitably they will be Outwitted, Outplayed, and Outlasted by the real stars of the show, the wildlife, but that’s another story, one that that Evil Prick, MB will once again try to squelch in the belief that his handpicked (and fondled) models, token gays, and racially and age diverse picks are actually smarter that a bunch of beach crabs. However, with your faithful band of spoilers on the scene, this will prove to be impossible.

For reasons that will become apparent later (if they aren’t blindingly obvious anyway) most of my girls tend to choose banana trees to hide in for the long boring hours that their surveillance requires, although there are a few that choose to hide in the peach bushes. It’s all good. It’s all better than good for me. I am a content man. Coconut Bob, motor boating thru life, at least one step ahead of the Federales.

On with the show, this is it!


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by Molaholic on 02-16-15 at 05:40 PM
Ah yes -- here we go again.

I've decided to be brutally honest this time 'round and would like to take on the persona of "Occasional Poster" with the tagline of "#I'llGetToItSometime"

Thanks


Capn’s Spring Siggiefest

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-16-15 at 07:34 PM

Ah, a Slacker from the province of Slackerinia. I understand.

I hope you do check in and comment as some piece of flora or fauna when the spirit moves you. You know how wet-your-pants* exciting our BTS thresd can get.

But before you slam the door and take your love to town, keep this in mind: a recent Government Study has revealed that people who sign up and participate in the Be The Survivor thresds are 98% more attractive to the opposite sex, the same sex and small woodland creatures as those who do not participate. They are also more likely to win state lotteries, church raffles and wet t-shirt contests.

That should cut through your resistance like a hot knife through soup!


* Fresh pants not included.



Hidden takeout, crouching cookie.
"Occasional Poster"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-17-15 at 01:30 PM
"RE: Occasional Poster"
Posted by Molaholic on 02-23-15 at 11:26 PM
Now this is kewl. I may even post just so I can use it.


Best dang siggie design in the whole dang designforce!

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 01:15 AM
I'll be WIll Sims with the tagline:I'll go virol on your a$$
"Will"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-17-15 at 01:31 PM
"RE: Will"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-18-15 at 09:32 PM
love it!


"Suzzee's requests"
Posted by suzzee on 02-17-15 at 12:20 PM
I'll be So and it only follows that the tag is "So What?", that's all I got so if there's a better tag out there go with it.

Is there and Exile or Redemption this season? I'm so woefully behind.

If no island getaways how about the ever present "Coconut Gallery" and tag them with "Just hanging around" or something.


BTS Bloody Hell 2


"RE: Suzzee's requests"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 12:39 PM

I'll be So and it only follows that the tag is "So What?", that's all I got so if there's a better tag out there go with it.
Is there and Exile or Redemption this season? I'm so woefully behind.

If no island getaways how about the ever present "Coconut Gallery" and tag them with "Just hanging around" or something.

So?


"RE: Suzzee's requests"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 12:40 PM
I'd like to Add "collar commentator" as one of my characters. I'll come back with a good tagline in a few



"Collar Commentator"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-17-15 at 02:08 PM
"RE: Collar Commentator"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-18-15 at 09:28 PM
thanks tribe. Now I can get hot under the collar!


"So, Nut Gallery"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-17-15 at 01:32 PM

"RE: So, Nut Gallery"
Posted by suzzee on 02-18-15 at 03:18 PM
Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes I'm like, So?

Thank you Tribe, (((hugs))


Bring on the carnage.


I can't get a coffee cup with my name on it.


"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by greenmachine on 02-17-15 at 02:44 PM

If someone could tell me how to upload it to my profile, I'll take Dawson and have his tagline be fear the beard.

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by kingfish on 02-18-15 at 04:30 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-18-15 AT 08:45 PM (EST)

1. After you get your Sig pic for "Be the survivor", right click on it, click on "properties" and copy the http: address that pops up.

2. Find and click the "user" hot key in the heading of the RTVW page.

3. Click the "Modify your profile and set forum options" key, and paste the http: adress that you copied in step one into the signature section of your profile information page. Then hit "submit changes", and you're done. Navigate back to the RTVW page.

4. Then whenever you post, the sig pic will show up automatically in the body of your post. You can store multiple sig pics this way, normally you will delete those that you don't want to show up in your post before hitting the "Post Message".

"Max"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-18-15 at 05:59 PM
Using kf's advise from above, here is your siggie...
"RE: Max"
Posted by greenmachine on 02-18-15 at 08:26 PM

Thanks to both Kingfish and Tribephyl.



"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by kingfish on 02-17-15 at 02:50 PM
Hello, Coconut Bob here. With a new dance, the coconut boobie bob.

That’s my latest nom de plume. Kinda catchy, right? Unfortunately the powers that be are using my previous moniker (rhymes with Breast Road) as a search key and if I ever use it again they are liable to show up on my doorstep. With rifles and guns and hand grenades. And handcuffs. And not the good kind of handcuffs, either. The bitey kind that hurt. So I had to change it to something else, and I chose the name of the main sporting activity on nearby islands, Coconut Bobbing. It’s not as much fun as you might think, but it makes a good name.

And takes one back to the good old days, when bobbing for boobies was legal. Now that the biggest boobies are on the guys it’s not so much fun for me, but my girls do love it so.

I have to grudgingly compliment the Federales. They are pretty darn good. I was forced to find another corner of the world in which to hide when word came down that they were about to raid my previous hangout. Fortunately there are more unknown islands in the oceans of the world than you might guess, and I think I found one where I can stretch out without being noticed for one more season. And conveniently there is another island farther up the coast where my girls can get their Ya Yas out and run rampant on the native population. They are so cute the way their little bottoms jiggle and shake as they tie village elders up to poles, and the way their flowing hair is backlit but the burning huts as they high tail it to the next village. It’s a bit cumbersome taking their Vespa choppers on outrigger canoes, but they manage because, well, it’s what they love to do. God bless them.

So here we are. Welcome to another spoiled season of Survivor. We do not intend to let up one bit in our efforts to bring you the finest spoilers and do not plan to spare any effort to make this your go-to source for the latest and greatest inside scoops the world has ever seen. Their bullet riddled clothes have long since been discarded for the freedom and feel of the wind thru their milky smooth thighs (sorry, I know I get carried away), and their morals have long since been abandoned in their search for these spoilers, but their will to boink anybody or anything lives on. These are the proud, resourceful, and really really really Raunchy girls of the Really Really Raunchy Girls Finishing School of Souping up Vespas and EPMB Beach House Egging.

"RE: Be The Survivor: S30 - Sign Up Thresd"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 02:56 PM
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you want your sig to have something to do with oobies!

"Coconut Bob"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-18-15 at 06:01 PM
"RE: Coconut Bob"
Posted by kingfish on 02-18-15 at 08:46 PM
You are the tag line (as well as siggie) maestro.

Thanks.

"Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by kingfish on 02-17-15 at 02:59 PM
Spoiler #1: One thing you will not see this season is 16 to 20 non-model contestants randomly selected and randomly divided into tribes left on a beach without fire or tools or change of clothing. The past is past.

Spoiler #2: There will clueless whiners and selfish rice hoarders…

Beep beep bee dee Beep Beep! Breaking news announcement!

Sorry folks but we have to break in here with a special announcement. The producer of Survivor is considering a new twist never seen before, which just might change the world forever. The theme will be “Slobs vs. Sluts”.

After 15 years on the air, Survivor is thinking about going to go to the dark side. The winner will have to “Out Slut, Out Slob, and Out Spit” all the other contestants.

Details aren’t finalized yet, but if this happens, the proposed challenges are

Slobbing.

Slutting.

Hacking coughing, and spitting.

Grossing out.

Farting, (deserves its own challenge)

As does belching

Plumber’s crack puzzle.

Beer keg pong

Name the Animal House characters.

Irrational arguing

‘Yo Mama so fat’ jokes

Now returning you to your regular programming.

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by greenmachine on 02-17-15 at 03:18 PM

name the animal house characters seems entertaining. I'm an expert at irrational arguing

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by kingfish on 02-17-15 at 05:12 PM
Not as much into the plumbers crack contest, I'm guessing.

It could be kinda gruesome.

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-17-15 at 05:23 PM
Plumber's crack, farting? sounds like OT before the Ukraine uprising!


or...the topic of their own reality shows.

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by kingfish on 02-18-15 at 04:18 PM
It'll be a sure fire ratings boost.

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by suzzee on 02-19-15 at 11:01 AM
One of the crew in the Nut Gallery this season. Or is this a shot of C-nut Bob. Hang on, here we go again!


The new smiley face.


Bring on the carnage.

"RE: Preseason Spoilers"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-20-15 at 10:42 AM
we're already "crackin'" on parodying this game!

"BTS: S30 - Sign Up Thresd - Part DOO-AY"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-23-15 at 08:06 PM

As those of you with calendars and sundials realize, the Survivor Season 30 ("30 Shades of Unemployment"(TM)) premiere is in two days.


I have sent out VIP announcement Private Messages to some 30 former or likely Be The Survivor players, alerting them to our little sandbox.
However, we can still use your help. Please invite anyone and everyone you know from this RTVW community to come join us. No heavy responsibilities here; just check the thresd, make an insightful, brilliant or smart-ass remark and be on your merry way.

Like many other perversions or cults, the more the merrier. (We have a great Kool-Aid recipe that upscales beautifully).




Hidden takeout, crouching cookie.
"got the memo"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-24-15 at 11:52 AM
And ready to go! Not finding a lot of willing participants though.


"RE: got the memo"
Posted by suzzee on 02-24-15 at 03:41 PM
I'll check the gutters and see who I can scare up.


Bring on the carnage.

"RE: got the memo"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-24-15 at 06:17 PM
Happy hunting Suzzee


"RE: got the memo"
Posted by suzzee on 02-25-15 at 02:38 PM
I'll be vewy vewy quiet...


Bring on the carnage.

"RE: got the memo"
Posted by Agman2 on 02-25-15 at 05:29 PM
You're huntin' wabbits!


"Siggie Surplus Shop"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-26-15 at 02:39 AM














"yoink >tee hee<"
Posted by suzzee on 03-03-15 at 04:53 PM
Show me the coconuts.

"looking for theeese..."
Posted by tribephyl on 03-03-15 at 10:39 PM
"RE: looking for theeese..."
Posted by suzzee on 03-05-15 at 10:45 AM
That's quite a breeze....


Bring on the carnage.