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"S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by dabo on 09-19-13 at 10:29 PM
Op, got so caught up in other things forgot to get this going on time. Ah well.

The Gufu Award was established for pointing out the dangdumbest game moves in Survivor each week. The original intent was simply to pay attention to what the contestants do and say that's dangdumb gameness, but from the outset of The Gufu Award noncontestant production stuff had a way of creeping in, so there are actually two categories you may cast your votes on, Contestant and Production. Please keep them separate.

Go get 'em!


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"Week 1"
Posted by dabo on 09-19-13 at 10:33 PM
Contestant Gufu: John. C'mon, be a man. Think how much better off your tribe would have been having an experienced Candy around to get the fire going. No reason to be afraid of Poopert.

Production Gufu: CBS really. Not firing Probst as showrunner, he's obviously trying his best to kill the franchise.

"RE: Week 1"
Posted by Dakota on 09-20-13 at 00:31 AM
LAST EDITED ON 09-25-13 AT 08:37 PM (EST)

Well. I guess the GUFU crowd is trying to forget rather than review, analyze and discuss. So I'll jump right in.

1. Monica. He stabbed you in the back before. Did you learn nothing during your dating years?

2. Colton. Coming back with the same emotional issues and personality.

3. I missed the Gervase thing, but I'm reserving space here to comment when I can watch it.

Production: Not bringing back some of my favorites.

Tribe's Talent '12

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by byoffer on 09-20-13 at 00:46 AM
Production - during the challenge, the favs should not have been allowed to dive for their knots until all had touched the boat. Allowing them to dive early basically negated Gervase's terrible swimming.

Production - casting Colton. Really? Really??

Contestant - anyone who goes on Survivor without taking the time to learn how to make fire. It may not be easy, and not everyone has the physical ability to do it, but at least understand the technique to help your tribe.

Production - Blood vs Water. Neat idea, but couldn't you have found some better eye candy? Let's hope Tyson's ladyfriend and Candace can hang around for a while (though Candace is sort of hidden on Exile). *grumble*

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 09-20-13 at 12:45 PM
Contestant: Gervase. Serving up a challenge performance with extra weak sauce and then gloating? Last time he cracked an inappropriate joke and Joel paid the price. This time he performs like the guy who had to write his name in Sharpie on the Stanley Cup, acts like the guy who scored the winning goal, and his niece pays. Dine on fecal matter in other words, Gervase.

Tribe: The n00bs. Katie is as useless as a jar of farts, and you vote out Marissa? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Doesn't the Bible say something about the niece not having to pay for the sins of the uncle, or am I losing my mind?

Production: Possible answers are as follows - diapers, politicians, blackjack shoes, Survivor contestants. The question is this - name something that should be changed regularly, all for the same reason.

Future: So Colton went on the show to turn over a new leaf and instead turns into the same old Ku Klux Colton. Either you'll get voted out for being an obnoxious turd or someone will poop in your canteen and you will be medevac'd while everyone on your tribe stifles laughter. Either way is OK with me.

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by Aruba on 09-22-13 at 08:58 AM
Where do I start???

First and foremost...

- Ruppert For taking Laura's place on Redemption Island. My reasons are stated in my Love/Loathe list in this Basher Forum.

- John (Candice's "husband") Doctor needs to cough and give himself a sports hernia exam. Not to test for a hernia, but to check if he has a pair.

- Culpepper The first words out of the meathead's mouth is he may not try his hardest in the challenges? Nuff Said.

- Galang (minus Tyson & Gervase) for clamoring around Colton and consoling him while the drama queen was making his pathetic plea for sympathy.

- Tadhana puzzle-solvers I think Gervase could have swam the English Channel faster than those three stooges could have completed that puzzle.

And this only scratches the surface...

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by dabo on 09-26-13 at 00:10 AM
LAST EDITED ON 09-26-13 AT 00:11 AM (EST)

Week 2

Player Gufu: Colton. The gay Russell Hantz. 'Nuff said.

Player Gufu: Tadhana Tribe. Oh yeah, after basing their first boot on how it might punish the loved one on the other tribe (guess what, it didn't work); basing their second boot (their strongest woman) on the prospect that it might remove a strong guy from the other tribe (their booted strong woman taking his place) just wasn't thought out half as well.

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by SOAR64 on 09-26-13 at 08:11 AM
Player Gufu: Colton.........He needs to find a palm tree with a knot hole and just chill out. It might help him keep his mind off of Caleb. Then again, it might cause him to miss him more.

Production Gufu:....Whoever assembled this group of individuals together in one place and called it Survivor. I am so sick of watching return players season after season. And Rupert for the 4th time. I'm sure that Jeff will give him a 5th try somewhere down the line.

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by Ottawa Girl on 09-26-13 at 09:16 AM
THIS: He needs to find a palm tree with a knot hole and just chill out. It might help him keep his mind off of Caleb. Then again, it might cause him to miss him more.

Oh hahahahahaHaHaHAHAHA.

"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by jobgirl on 09-26-13 at 11:44 AM
Production: For giving us that in-the-barrel camera shot of Laura's thighs and crotch.
"RE: S27 Gufu Award Thread"
Posted by Dakota on 09-26-13 at 01:52 PM
1. Colton for thinking he could redeem himself by doing it again.
2. Caleb for helping him escape from the institution and bringing him on the show.
3. Jon for getting an HII clue and saying nothing to the tribe. How about I haven't looked for it yet. Let's win this challenge so nobody goes home.
4. Marissa for going off on Gervase
5. Brad for opening his mouth at all after last week's Mr. Math confessional.

"Week 3"
Posted by dabo on 10-03-13 at 10:20 AM
Hey, Casting Department! -- Quitters.
"RE: Week 3"
Posted by suzzee on 10-03-13 at 11:03 AM
The love fest that Redacted Island has become.

Colton.

Colton.

The random chance that random mother-daughter x 2 and brothers that haven't gotten over their childhood issues were random match-ups.

Caleb for insisting that he doesn't have to worry about Colton any longer. Seriously?



Ooooo, come a little closer, you look tasty...

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by Estee on 10-03-13 at 12:23 PM
Caleb for insisting that he doesn't have to worry about Colton any longer. Seriously?

When you consider what Gervase did to Marissa's game, Colton's quitting is more than a reasonable cause for Caleb to lose some stress.

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by suzzee on 10-03-13 at 02:43 PM
Game wise, absolutely, he's got Jiffy & Co. to babysit for him. I was thinking more along the lines of life afterwards. Caleb will have his hands full with that one.
"RE: Week 3"
Posted by Dakota on 10-03-13 at 11:08 PM
That's what I was thinking, Suzzee.


Tribe and Coco '13

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 10-03-13 at 10:03 PM
Argfa...

Quitter: Colton for employing the Eric Cartman strategy to Survivor - "Screw you guys, I'm going home" doesn't win squat, idiot. I'll give him a pass for the first time since I'm sure he had something, but this? Please do the world a favor and go away. You're rivaling Purple Kelly for title of Worst Survivor Ever.

Redemption Island: Candice. I get it that you want your husband to succeed, but next time, don't paint such a huge target on his head.

Contestant: John. Way to overplay your hand with the idol. Your woman will whip your behind at RI, and Marissa's no slouch either.

Also: Culpepper, as in Brad. Overplaying your hand works when all your remaining opponents are complete morons. See Mariano, Rob. Other than that, the Survivor graveyard is littered with the dreams of players who overplayed too early.

Challenge: Vytas. If your brother practically hands you a second chance and your response is to take a cheap shot and then lose anyway, now we know why he's the golden child and you're the screwoff.

The vote: So your top choices are Ciera, who's the tribe's fart-jar; Brad, who's the tribe's tin-pot dictator, and John, who's the tribe's clue-recipient, and you run and pee your pants over an idol John couldn't even find? Either vote off the weaklings and take a swing at the big boys or get rid of Brad. This vote was a total wuss-out.

Production: Only to five? Every time it was run before, it was to anywhere from 6-8. I get it; in Fiji and Heroes vs. Villains, the challenges were blowouts, but this was a bit more even. Seeing the red guys lose because of two useless daughters was somehow unsatisfying.

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by suzzee on 10-04-13 at 11:25 AM
Ciera, who's the tribe's fart-jar; >snort< way to turn a phrase Colonel


I'm Poopert's Paradise!

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by finallytyping on 10-11-13 at 07:52 PM
LAST EDITED ON 10-11-13 AT 07:53 PM (EST)

Ciera, who's the tribe's fart-jar;

I'll never hear this song the same way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nChO-PibN9A

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by Dakota on 10-03-13 at 11:18 PM
1. Colton, Quit added to GUFU
2. Brad - thinking past the next game, which you still need to win. You should watch the NFL playoffs or something, you'd learn this.
3. Marissa, for going off again. Chill.

Production: (1) I'm thinking the guests of the vets might not have their hearts in the game. (2) When does someone get off of RI?

Tribe and Coco '13

"RE: Week 3"
Posted by Aruba on 10-04-13 at 05:40 AM
Casting - You Suck; You Suck; You Suck...Oh, BTW...YOU SUCK!!!

John - Two clues literally HANDED to you; you tribe gives you free rein to go off on your own to look for the HII and you STILL can't find it???!!! He deserved to get his weepy a$$ voted out of Tadhana and dumped on RI.

Marissa - Dropping the F-Bomb on Brad Culpepper on national TV and in front of wife Monica. Now there's a real classy chick. Uncle Gervase knew what he was doing by putting a target on her.

Jiffy/Production - Jiffy for trying to defuse the situation between Marissa and Culpepper at the precise moment when Monica was standing up to interject...and Production for not rolling out a vat of jello where Marissa and Monica could have went at it.
It would have been a GREAT undercard for the RI duel and...OK boys and girls...all together now...can we say, "RATINGS BONANZA"

"Week 4"
Posted by dabo on 10-10-13 at 00:16 AM
Contestant Gufu: Brad. For a guy who started the game by talking without thinking, who supposedly learned his lesson quickly, he still kept talking without thinking.

Contestant Gufu: Tyson. Good thing Galang won immunity or the one-armed dude might have found himself on the hotseat.

Contestants Gufu: Coconut Killers. Amusing as it is ... why do that? It seems so dumb.

Production Gufu. Hasn't it been seen often enough by now that a tribe of new players facing a tribe of returning players, the new players tribe might as well all quit as a group and go home? Every single time.

"RE: Week 4"
Posted by jbug on 10-10-13 at 10:07 AM
Tribe Gufu: I realize you wanted to make a big move by blindsiding Brad, but do you really expect to win any challenges now that require strength? And? who's going to fish for you?
"Week 5"
Posted by dabo on 10-17-13 at 00:05 AM
Contestant Gufu: Laura B. Don't rock the boat!!! Seriously, she should not try to shake things up, she is really just in no position to do that.

Contestant Gufu: Monica. Being the dutiful wife who does everything her hubby tells her, even asks him what she should do, has convinced her alliance they absolutely in no way can allow her and hubby to be reunited in the game. Lucky she didn't get sent to RI.

"RE: Week 5"
Posted by Dakota on 10-17-13 at 11:51 PM
Monica - First, what Dabo said. Second, pulling out the 'you hurt me' card on Candice, when Candice never saw anything but Redemption Island.

Tribe and Coco '13

"RE: Week 5"
Posted by Aruba on 10-19-13 at 12:43 PM
Contestant Gufu: John - (now seeing his puzzle-solving prowess) for not stepping up to be Tadhana's puzzle-solver in the earlier team challenges as opposed to pathetically inept Ciera. Had he done so, Tadhana would be in much better position.
"RE: Week 5"
Posted by Dakota on 10-20-13 at 00:00 AM
I wondered why they put her up against her mom twice and if the producers encouraged it.


Tribe and Coco '13

"RE: Week 5"
Posted by Aruba on 10-20-13 at 06:09 AM
I recall hearing (not sure if it was a confessional or TC) that Ciera volunteered to do the puzzle parts. I suppose she did so knowing she'd be a physical liability in the challenges.

Which is why I criticize John for not stepping up especially after the Ciera-Katie-Caleb fiasco in the first team challenge. Although after further thought I guess he didn't because wife Candice wasn't there to tell him so...

"Week 6"
Posted by dabo on 10-24-13 at 09:16 AM
Production Gufu: Puzzles puzzles puzzles more puzzles. When counting to 100 is a puzzle you have run out of ideas.

Production Gufu: So, how glad are you now you buried the HIIs and made them impossible to find without clues?

Contestant Gufu: Tyson. Well, maybe, it remains to be seen. But the psych games post-switch were so overboard and obvious, so kudos on being so damn funny.

"RE: Week 6"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 10-24-13 at 10:16 AM
Contestant Gufu: Way to talk yourself into becoming the boot, Kat! You should have just shut up and went along with the names being thrown out there by the others.
"RE: Week 6"
Posted by newsomewayne on 10-24-13 at 10:55 AM
Contestant Gufu: Monica. You want to confirm the four Galang Girls stick together. Fine. But to state it that way, nuGalangs are on the outs, to Tina, when one of nuGalang is her daughter? Dumb.

Production Gufu: RI challenge. That wasn't a puzzle. It was a race. And a dumb one, at that. I know the playing field is smaller than a tribal challenge, but still.

"RE: Week 6"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 10-24-13 at 06:01 PM
Contestant Gufu: Kat. Had you not kept yammering on about Monica constantly yammering on, the tribe would have gotten tired of her yammering on, and you might have actually gotten rid of her.

Production Gufu: Bringing back the balance beam was great because it always seems to stump the men. But placing numbers to 100 as a challenge? That isn't a challenge, it's equal to the snake puzzle from many survivors ago.

"RE: Week 6"
Posted by udg on 10-27-13 at 00:53 AM
Production: This season is so boring that I didn't even remember that there was a new Survivor ep until late Thursday, and I didn't bother to find time to watch it until Friday...

Production: At which point they made sure I was fully engaged in watching grownups count to 100 by ones. So. Very. Exciting.

Contestant: I don't even care enough to think about it. I know a couple of people did dumb stuff, but it doesn't MATTER.

*yawn*

"Week 7"
Posted by dabo on 10-31-13 at 00:23 AM
LAST EDITED ON 10-31-13 AT 00:25 AM (EST)

Production Gufu. Big yawn, another puzzle repeat puzzle at Redemption Island duel.

Production Gufu. The addiction to Hidden Immunity Idols, and it was production's own addiction, just keeps hysterically getting turned on end this season

Production Gufu. Twists, we need twists, let's throw all the twists we can think of into this nonsense season, let's sell it!!!! In all honesty, this is turning out to be the most illogical nonsense season ever. But it does prove that the cast does make the show, not all the flips and such.

Welcolm to the Mad Magazine version of Survivor. The game doesn't really begin until the merge anyway, wonder how they will manage to screw that up.

Okay, seriously,

Contestant Gufu: Culpepper. Seriously, Monica, way to make no sense. You wanted your alliance all on the same page, they were, but when it turned out Laura was way on the same page you sabotaged her, for being on the same page. Huh?

"RE: Week 7"
Posted by udg on 10-31-13 at 01:22 AM
>Contestant Gufu: Culpepper. Seriously, Monica,
>way to make no sense.
> You wanted your alliance
>all on the same page,
>they were, but when it
>turned out Laura was way
>on the same page you
>sabotaged her, for being on
>the same page.
>Huh?

She was supposed to ask permission to be on the same page, and instead, she took the initiative to... be on the same page. Vote her off!



Thanks to tribephyl for the sigpic!

"RE: Week 7"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 11-01-13 at 05:29 AM
Contestant: The women of Galang for being the worst example of a women's alliance in the history of anything. The obvious boot has presented itself TWICE and they eat one of their own instead. This makes about as much sense as creating an all-black wardrobe with white shirts.

Production: For the third time, Redemption Island is dominated by one person. Maybe people will figure out that...well, if it's not going to go the hell away, a wider variety of challenges needs to take place. Maybe make them spin around on bats and swim out to a plate of cookies or something.

Future: So if we have eleven at the merge, that means a jury of eight at the end. I'm just waiting for a tie in the final vote to make everyone look stupid.

"RE: Week 7"
Posted by suzzee on 11-01-13 at 09:47 AM
Why wait, there's no line in the Survivor waiting to look stupid booth.


I should be watched....closely.

"Week 8"
Posted by dabo on 11-07-13 at 02:35 PM
Contestant Gufu: Tina. Honestly, how could she have made such a simple mistake as not assuring Monica she was on the road to F3? How???
"Week 9 - double trouble"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 11-14-13 at 12:43 PM
Vytas: the Scorched Earth strategy never works in Survivor. It doesn't work at tribal. And it won't work with your brother, who, in case you forgot, has won the game before and knows what the hell he's doing.

Monica: For the love of God, shut your damn mouth. Two people on your last tribe got whacked because of your mouth. And if Katie pulls off another miracle, you're out next, and if not, win a damn challenge because this season is turning awfully predictable.

Production: Estee and I are fans and have both written better idol rules than the highly-paid Survivor staff.

"RE: Week 9 - double trouble"
Posted by suzzee on 11-14-13 at 02:59 PM
Production: Estee and I are fans and have both written better idol rules than the highly-paid Survivor staff.

amen


I should be watched....closely.

"Week 9"
Posted by dabo on 11-15-13 at 10:31 AM
Production Gufuy: Some actual Philippines treats in the food challenge would have been better. Chitterlings aren't even so disgusting when properly prepared.
"Week 10"
Posted by dabo on 11-21-13 at 01:12 AM
Production Gufu: HA! Piling more food on the table than any one or two people could ever eat -- just so there would be easy lunch leftovers for the film crew -- it finally backfired! Way to go, Monica!

Not that it got her anything except ignored in the editting this week.

"RE: Week 10"
Posted by suzzee on 11-28-13 at 11:38 AM
Showing thunder and lightening when it doesn't look like it's rained in 28 days.


I should be watched....closely.