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"S 23 Summary Ep 13: That’s the thanks I get for doing your laundry? Pass the Kool-ade drinking game."

Posted by suzzee on 12-08-11 at 05:09 PM
Hello fellow voyeurs and voyettes. Here’s wishing everyone a happy, safe and healthy Holiday season and a great 2012. Wait is that the end of the world year? I guess I’ll have to wait for Maxx’s spoiler on that point.

Let’s start after the mini-recap shall we since the constant message of honor and loyalty from Coach is really a load of Kool-ade and going round and round with that is making everyone urpy.

Repository Island:

Cochran tells Ozzy he got pwned, abused, manipulated and lied to by those Opulu meanies. He did, on the other hantz, get some unsatisfying lip service so he can cross that off his bucket list. So much for the student of the game wisdom, imagine that, Cochran is the first Survivor to be lied to in 23 seasons.

Ozzy and Cochran snuggle and Ozzy offers him Redemption by telling Cochran to vote for Ozzy should he make F3. Cochran takes offence at the implication he could lose at the dool. Kool-ade shots all around.

The Tuna:

Rick is toasting socks for breakfast, Brandon is looking catatonic and accompanied by some eerie music and here comes tonight’s bootee Edna looking like she’s going to murder them all in their sleep. Brandon calls for a prayer circle and Edna secedes from the tribe. POUT! Coach better come after me I walked on his back. Humph. .

I say to myself, wait Edna you’re pissed because they’re treating you like a second class citizen when for the last 30 days you’ve acted like the camp doormat??? WHAT?? LOL, she calls Coach “El Jefe”. Good one Edna.

Edna and Coach are chatting, well Edna is reaming Coach and he’s looking for an out when the village idiot shows up with a Sprint phone in a bamboo Otter Box. “Yay,” thinks Coach and makes like a banana and splits leaving Edna seething.

The phone goes off emits tear gas and everyone starts the waterworks. Didn’t the other Wade meat sound just like Coach??? That was c-r-e-e-p-y

The Dool:

Jiffy takes back the phone threatening them all with a RI winner bonus. He explains the uber-athletic challenge of toss the grapple to da boys of redemption and away we go. The first throw and Cochran comes up short, Then he starts getting help from the audience. “Hold the END of the rope.” Cochran looks down and wonders which end he should hold. Meanwhile, Ozzie is cleaning the beach with his grapple while Cochran tries again.

OK, did you hear the sound effects editing threw in there on Cochran’s throw?? Classic Saturday morning cartoon sproing-oing-oing-bonk, it’s so worth a listen, enjoy. snort.

Jiffy throws a challenge clue to Cochran because it’s such a dramatic David and Goliath moment. ENVISION IT! Be the rope, awwoooooom. The boys finally get their balls and it’s on to part duex. “The Amazing Maze” is up, Ozzy works it while Cochran trips, grabs the ropes of the maze and Jiffy calls it a very aggressive move. I thought he was just saving his a$$ from falling but I wasn’t there so I don’t know, anyone have a better angle on that? Anyone? >crickets< thought so. On to the foregone conclusion the suspense of the week is wasted and the anxiety of the bench warmers ramps up a notch with Ozzy still there.

Cochran waxes poetic on what his 15 minutes means to him and how pretty he feels, Jiffy milks it like a dairy cow and I’m touched in a way that makes me urpy. Kool-ade shots all around.


Here comes the loved ones (queue the tear gas) Sophie’s dad Thurston Howl III, Edna’s sister Edna Jr., Coach’s better half, his sound alike brother RePete, Rick’s adoring wife (who hasn’t seen him in 31 days, sheesh we haven’t seen him either toots, so what’s the fuss) Rick grabs a handful <(sproing-oing-oing-bonk) of tush, Prince Albert’s mom, the Queen Mother strolls in, finally Brandon’s Daddy Dearest, the brother of the most famous survivor ever Shawn of the Dead.[P>Now for the twist Jiffy tortured the Upotuna’s with. Ozzy gets to pick the family members rewardees. Que cards waving frantically tell Ozzy to pick Coach and another Hantz to infest the beaches of the South Pacific. Albert and the Queen Mother get to go too, the rest of them get nothin’ to prime the anger pumps for the rest of the week.

The Land of Oz!
Everyone travels to Ozzy’s Dolphin Redo Resort, and the question burning in our minds finally is answered: Yes, Brandon, rain gets in a straw thatched lean-to. Kool-ade shots all around.

TOOT

The New Truth: Coach reveals his strategy to us. Only if you say “as a Christian man” before a promise does it count. what?

I’ll be looking for that now, you can promise anything to anyone but unless you say the phrase that pays, it doesn’t count. Who knew? Ozzy & Coach, noble warriors, to the end, take that to the sperm bank folks.

On to Daddy Dearest & Jr. Brandon, spewing his new found grown up identity, tells Daddy that he doesn’t give a spit about the money. Daddy’s jaw drops and he sees his brand new pick-up and swimmin’ pool go up in smoke. “Whatchoo here for then boy?” Dang, I just found out my kid is a moron, must be from his mother’s side of the family.

“I’m glad I came out here to fix things for my adult, married with children, son,” says Papa Hantz. “This here is not how we do things in Texass, first kill everyone to get to F3, then, let God write your name down.“ This explains Brandon pretty well.

Go play Rolldice's BTS

Daddy Dearest goes to fix the game of Survivor with Coach, he pulls the loyalty card and Coach goes running for the jungle and whines to the tv audience. Shawn screws the pooch and Brandon’s masterful game is done. Kool-ade shots all around.

Immunity Challenge:

Time to flip off your way to immunity. The drama begins flipping tiles and they all meet at the middle Albert out, Brandon sacrifices himself at the alter of stupid and sits down for a smelly foot sandwich, Rick makes his first and last move, Sophie’s done, Edna (give her a gun) is out and Coach performs the Baby Dragon move and through no effort of his own wins the necklace.

The Tuna Camp:

Edna asks for her diamond necklace and goes on to try and save herself from eminent death. If she’s been jabbering like this for the last 30 days I’m surprised she lasted this long.

OMG! Did Edna really offer to eat a Coach poop sandwich? Wheat or rye? And Kool-ade shots all around.

Babble Council: Painful and tortured. Oh, that was me. Tribal Council was the usual Brandonizing, Coach eyerolling and beard rubbing, Edna wah-wahing, Albert rationalizing, Rick snoring, Sophie cutting to the chase and even Jiffy wanted to euthanize the whole thing quickly.

Rick, wake up & vote, zipping through the rest of them Jiffy reads the votes, Edna, Brandon, Edna, Edna, Edna. Edna, get out of here. Coach wonders who’s going to do his laundry and we’re set up for the next episode.

That’s all from my little work station, I cranked the space heater up to 11, put my feet up and order a nice big glass of Kool-ade. Bottoms up and be sure to tip your wait staff.

Wait, I’m not done yet. While I’ve got your attention, I’d like to thank a few peeps around here.

Game Hosts & Hostesses: Tribe & kircon, spectacular job both of you {{huggs}}
Summary & SOTS Mistresses: kircon and Scarlett, glad you keep these going {{hugs}}

Everyone that takes the time to read, comment and contribute around here. {{huggs}}

To my dog, KO, who ate the entire plate of Christmas cookies so I don’t get a big butt. I’m not even going to mention that box of cheese & crackers. Bad dog.

Excuse any typo's or glitches and hope you enjoyed the ride. Now go play, shoo, Mama's tired.



Tribe made me flaky



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Messages in this discussion
"RE: S 23 Summary Ep 13: That’s the thanks I get for doing your laundry? Pass the Kool-ade drinking game."
Posted by Belle Book on 12-08-11 at 05:31 PM
Nice one, Suzzee!



"RE: S 23 Summary Ep 13: That’s the thanks I get for doing your laundry? Pass the Kool-ade drinking game."
Posted by kingfish on 12-08-11 at 07:25 PM
Nice job Mama Suz. Although I suspect there's a shot or two of tequila in that Kool Aid.

After spending the majority of the season up Coach's butt, I guess Edna got used to the smell, and may have even noshed a little.


"RE: S 23 Summary Ep 13: That’s the thanks I get for doing your laundry? Pass the Kool-ade drinking game."
Posted by qwertypie on 12-08-11 at 09:24 PM
EWWWWWWWWW! I'm now regretting ever learned how to read K.

Great summary Suzzee!


"RE: S 23 Summary Ep 13: That’s the thanks I get for doing your laundry? Pass the Kool-ade drinking game."
Posted by kingfish on 12-10-11 at 11:18 AM
I understand. Sometimes one wishes one had a thread tester, sorta like a food tester.