I don't like trolls of any type -- although Brandon's uncle is my least favorite Troll!

thou doth protest too much

LAST EDITED ON 12-11-11 AT 04:54 PM (EST)

That's what you think, Jeffy old boy!

At least he didn't say "though doth post too much!

Yeah. That's a good thing.

It's really too bad russell wasn't here...ya'll could've married; Brandon would've made a great maid of honor and his daddy could've given you away.

I'm still around.

LAST EDITED ON 12-08-11 AT 12:09 PM (EST)

Hola Hola Hola. It is I, Senor Pissario again, with my traveling band of Raunchilita senoritas, the student bodies from the Really Really Raunchy Finishing school for, yes, you guessed it, really really Raunchy girls.

We are recovering today from a ceremony the locals asked us to participate in last night. It was a bit more than we expected. I mean, how bad could a little sweat lodge sauna be? Right? Well, as it it turns out, there is a certain cactus bud that you have to eat to begin the ceremony, and it is intense. Like meeting and greeting the Great Snake God Kukula intense. Like receiving buzzard feathers from your dead ancestors intense. Like receiving updates to the Kama Sutra from Buddha himself (with HD video clips) intense.

So we are older and more smarter now, and that's what school is all about, right? Right!

And speaking of more smarter, I'm a'gonna maka you a'more smarter too, with the newest spoilers (plus one very savvy prediction) from my inside spoiler source, who is not a *Hantz, although one can be forgiven this week for thinking that because of all the Hantz's that have suddenly appeared. And as we shall see, the poop doesn't fall far from the poop-hole.

Spoiler #1: Sean, the Hantz directly responsible for foisting the Brandon troll on us showed up on family visit week. He and the Dragon slayer locked horns. And the guy who looked wild Amazon head hunters in the eye and backed them off with his withering glare and ferocious snarl, who is also known as Coach, pooped his pants, and after asserting that he wasn't scared at all, did exactly what Sean told him to do. Exactly. With alacrity. As fast as his feets could go.

Of course the production staff had to talk down a crying and shivering Coach after prying his arms off a coconut tree and washing out his peed and pooped shorts. "Those Hantz's are all alike." he complained in a shrill girly wail, tears of fright rolling down his cheek, "They are just so scary. Make them go away!"

Spoiler #2: Actually, this is where the prediction comes in. The final three will be Coach, Ozzy and someone else (can't give it all away just yet, right?). The votes will be split 4-4, and Cochran, the traitorous little liver lipped bug, will vote for Coach. At final TC he will explain how he didn't really back-stab Ozzy, but that as a student of the game and the foremost expert who has lived his whole life around the game of survivor, who actually submitted his Masters Thesis on Survivor game theory, decided that it was time to make a big move. Oh yeah, and that no one treated him nicely enough, and that he was sorry, and that he was just a wormy malcontent.

Spoiler #3: Edna finally emerged from Coach's butt. Big mistake. When her teammates noticed her, they immediately voted her off to RI. She should have kept her head buried deep in Coach's bowels for one more day. As bad as that sounds.

Spoiler #4: Rick, as usual, won't have much to say. He was sad that that his horse didn't visit on reunion day. But his wife did bring him a message from Old Paint, and she let him ride her around for a while, so he was glad about that.

Spoiler #5: Famous last words, Brandon: "I'm going to enjoy Breakfast on day 39".

Spoiler #6: Coach's imaginary brother Pete showed up on family visit day. Apparently the actor that coach hired on previous seasons wasn't available, so a new Pete showed up. No attempt by Coach to explain the new Pete, either.

(* Disclaimer. By now we know that just saying "disclaimer" doesn't protect any one from anything. It's just habit. Disclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer. There.)

Tribe went missing this week. Apparently a shiny rock distracted him. Oh well, I still have his credit card.)