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Thread Number: 4144
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Original Message
"If Mark Burnett ran the world."
Posted by Estee on 05-16-11 at 09:55 AM
'So you're telling me the wonder drug we released last year kills twenty percent of the people who take it and leaves the other eighty in mindless screaming agony for the rest of their lives. And you want me to pull the drug off the market. Why? Dead people don't sue and anyone who's mindlessly screaming doesn't have the brainpower to go to court. And since they're alive, the drug clearly did its work. We can just blame the twenty percent on doing something stupid. Like breathing. I hear everyone who's ever breathed eventually died.'

'We should market a cure for that.'

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: If Mark Burnett ran the world."
Posted by Skiver on 05-16-11 at 12:01 PM
But the advertising spots would be irresitable. Wonderfully dramatic music, great swooshing camera moves, classy production values all round. Drug efficacy? That's a question for another time.
"RE: If Mark Burnett ran the world."
Posted by suzzee on 05-16-11 at 02:06 PM
IF?


A Tribe masterpiece


"RE: If Mark Burnett ran the world."
Posted by RollDdice on 05-16-11 at 02:33 PM
Yeah, I thought that was an undisputed fact. After all, I hypnotized 13.1 million viewers last night. Take that, Merck!

And Jeff Probst is my number one drug pusher pharmaceutical rep.



"If Mark Burnett ran a basketball team."
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 05-21-11 at 05:00 PM
"So in the last game we played, that new scheme of defense gave up 160 points, and Dirk Nowitzki scored at will. We also couldn't shoot because we put duct tape over the hoop we were shooting into. Also, our strategy of taking all our free throws from half court was a disaster. We're down 2-0 in this series. I know what we have to do."

"What's that?"

"Run the exact same scheme again. It's bound to work. Except we need to put Phillip at point guard."

"If Mark Burnett ran a High School."
Posted by michel on 05-21-11 at 05:52 PM
The popular kids would get all the attention from teachers.

The athletes would be given games to play that favor their abilities.

The lunch lady would only serve food that she wouldn't eat.

The smart kids would be made to look dumb. They would be constantly outwitted by older kids that were asked to come back to boost the average scores. Those outwitted would be sent to Remedial island where they would have to repeat their lessons until they get it right and then only one would return to regular classes.

If you find an exam idol, you are allowed to skip classes until the end of the year. Finally, only the one that is the most liked gets to graduate.

"If Mark Burnett ran the Rapture"
Posted by kingfish on 05-22-11 at 05:24 PM
Actually, I can't complete this thought.

I just scared myself silly.

"RE: If Mark Burnett ran the Rapture"
Posted by michel on 05-22-11 at 05:42 PM
You gave me visions of spending eternity in Ponderosa surrounded by Coach, Phillip and Shambo. The horor...
"RE: If Mark Burnett ran the Rapture"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 05-22-11 at 10:14 PM
And don't forget Russhole.
"*SkunkKick*"
Posted by foonermints on 05-23-11 at 04:05 PM