Campfire Caucus: As Empanada gathers around the campfire, Dan once again thanks his tribemates for not sending him packing. He rambles that John Gotti was called the “Teflon Don”, so this makes him the “Teflon Dan”. Since he was dredging up a joke that some here were using before the season even started, it fell flatter than NaOnka’s Empathetic Behavior test scores.
PaperChase worries about keeping Dan. “We made our decision, we made our bed and we’ve got to lay in it. It’s an old disgusting bed, with wrinkled sheets and a scarred mattress. Oh God, what did we just do?”

Since the Snuffer is barely cold, the members of Empanada start to worry about the next execution eviction. Call them hopeless optimists. The power trio of PaperChase, SoggyHolly and Na’asty discuss voting out Alina next. Na’asty says, “I never trusted him or her at all. So we need to get insert name here out next.” She seems to be reading this statement from a crumpled piece of paper hidden in her hand.

Over at La Flor Wax, MindMasterMarty and Dr.Jill confront Sash and Fabio* about the voting strategy. Since they have nothing to do except think and scheme all day, it comes as no surprise that they are caught flat-footed and they “hum-a-nah hum-a-nah” about flushing out the Idol, phases of the moon and other nonsense.

*Nickname note: When one competitor is named after a curtain component and the other was given a derogatory nickname on Day One, it seems redundant to nick-nick-name them. I hope everyone understands. If not, you can go with Skeletor and AirBud if that helps you get through the night.

Splash-ket Ball: The Reward Challenge involves jumping off a platform holding an authentic native twine ball that the Prop Department whipped up last night. Competitors need to jump off the platform and try to throw it past the defender who is standing on a wooden post. If it goes into the net, you earn one point. When you land in water that also contains Fabio by-products, well… that’s just a bonus.
Benry (see Nickname note above) scores the winning goal for Empanada and they get to go to the Nicaraguan Dude Ranch.

Raw Thighs: In this remake of City Slickers, TefDan is cast in the Billy Crystal role. He looks so uncomfortable on that horse that it seems he’d rather see a horse’s head in his bed than saddle up and ride. At the breakfast table, Alina starts to cry and Holly joins in. They’re overwhelmed by the food and having a sense of family so far from home. Or maybe it’s just the cheese. Whatever the cause, as any good psychopath knows, you have to fake emotions so you fit in with real people. NaOnka bites the inside of her cheek and generates some artificial tears of her own. The crying and snuffling is so over the top for a bowl of eggs that I’d like to see this bunch take in the splendor that is Denny’s Grand Slam Breakfast.

On the other food front, La Flor Wax’s AncientJane is doing some fishing and hosts her own personal fish fry.

Immunity Challenge- Learn to Skee: We rip off another carnival game with an oversized edition of Skee Ball. In this version, there are two ball droppers and four chute aimers, all trying to break tiles with cannon balls. Empanada wins, sending La Flor Wax to Tribal Council. This time Fabio doesn’t urinate in public.

Idol Thoughts: Over at La Flor Wax, Jane targets Marty and Jill in a confessional with a labored cake, icing and “eat it too” cliché. Sash and the cold-as-ice Brrrr-enda discuss asking Marty for the HII in exchange for Jill going home. Real estate agent Sash draws up the papers and holds an open house for Marty. Marty agrees to surrender the HII in exchange for Jill’s ouster and the return of the Idol if La Flor loses the next immunity challenge. Sash throws in some magic beans and a free ball point pen with Sash’s real estate information on the side.

Tribal Council: Marty calls Jane a flipper, but Jane is well aware that she has a high pitched laugh, eats a lot of fish and that she’s going to be tail-walking back to camp, so the dolphin insult doesn’t bother her. Jiffy gets to the bottom of the HII exchange and manages to draw Sash into a Freudian slip that raises some eyebrows. Jiffy strides off to “tally the votes” and it’s Dr. Jill who is taken off “fire represents your life” support.

Mark "Laughing all the way to the bank" Burnett