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Original Message
"Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-12-10 at 09:56 PM
Boy, where to start, where to start...

A fine representation overall, I might say.
Clearly not enough of those two hours was dedicated to me, but I digress.
Clearly it was all about you guys so...

Rob: WHOA! DUDE!? Who in the frick are you? Starting a fire without flint? Getting Coach to climb a tree? Getting Sandra to fawn all over you?
YOU R THE MAN, that's who!

And conversely...

Rupert: What a let-down. I hear 6 years old, the world over, sobbing themselves to sleep after watching their favorite hero fail so miserably at making fire, throw a sort of tantrum because of it, stomping off into the jungle while the rest of the tribe banded together, quickly so as not to be openly confrontational, and got it going for you. You selfish, spoiled brat. (Sorry, slipping into RealWorld mode)

Speaking of women...

Colby: I saw you pushing away Sugar. I gotta say, Colby, you sure are wearing your "I'm not interested in women" badge quite proudly these days. But, I'm sorry darling, I'm flattered and you're certainly cuter than before but it seems you're about 2 years away from full womanhood. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just perhaps the end of my obsession.

Onto more manly topics...

Coach: How is it possible that you are even remotely tolerable or dare I say even ... attractive?
What kind of hotty pill have you been nursing on? Perhaps you could share with Colby?

Speaking of mood altering drugs...

Sugar: WTF? Wow. How did you get back on this show?
Desperation is not a good look for you. I also suggest going back on your Paxil regimen. I have no tissues, so stuff the issues.

The rest of you, I'll have to mull over for a bit more.


Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by jbug on 02-12-10 at 10:08 PM
There's plenty you should be saying about me.
I'm smaht; really smaht.

You know my plan to oust StephaMe was the best; but I fell to the pressure of you & MB to keep her around for awhile. We all know she is one of your favorites.


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-13-10 at 01:51 AM
Yes. Real solid evidence that you have no super-power here.
Mwahahahaha...


Seems this pocket kryptonite is stronger than I thought.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-13-10 at 03:41 AM
You know my plan to oust StephaMe was the best; but I fell to the pressure of you & MB to keep her around for awhile.


We have to keep the Stephenie Action Figure for a little while... after all, she has the "pop-out, pop-in" shoulder feature.



A.S.S. 2: Bigger. Wider. Better than ever.
"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 02-16-10 at 07:47 PM
That's right you evil "Gangsta in Oprah Clothing!"

We ALL know whose favorite I am, right EPMB?




"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by RollDdice on 02-19-10 at 01:29 PM
We ALL know whose favorite I am, right EPMB?

Who's your Daddy? Uhh, I mean that I appreciate all of my Survivor children equally and I have no "favorites". *wink wink* But like a bad Mexican meal you had a chance to repeat on me with this latest A.S.S.

Too bad it was such a short ride for you. See you at LL.



A.S.S. 2: Bigger. Wider. Better than ever.
"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by bostonrobfan on 02-12-10 at 11:42 PM
There is no way way you can start a fire without fl-

Um... Er... Anyone have any cookies? I'd like to give them to my new hero, Rob.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by agman on 02-15-10 at 07:32 PM
If this suck up makes the final, aint no way I'm voting for him!

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by smokedog on 02-12-10 at 11:51 PM
Well it's great to be back. I think everyone knows that I should have been on the last all star show but alas, I couldn't make it. But my good pal Parv took my spot and won! Still waiting for a thank you but I'm sure it prob just slipped her mind. Happens quite often for her as you all know. Maybe too many punches too the head?

Wasn't Sugar pathetic? Glad she's gone. We all know the original SWEETheart is still here.....you know, Candy? My name? Anyway, Sugar is stupid. WAY too clingy/needy. I would NEVER throw myself at a man and ruin my game!

Cirie.....girl, time for you to learn some new tricks. You don't really think you are going to get far with us all stars, do ya? We know your routine by now, girlfriend!

Amanda is SO stupid and bland. Put a paper bag on her head and she's a dime a dozen. Why is she even here? Hasn't she lost enough times already?

It's nice to have James on my team again! But I think I liked his hair back in the Cook Islands better. But whatever.

Anyway, better get back to strategizing cause we are down a person. Unless a mutiny is coming up?

Cheers,


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by iltarion on 02-13-10 at 00:38 AM

I think it is pretty clear at this point that this is my season. I'm dominating in challenges, intimidating everyone intellectually. all the women want me and all the guys want to be me. It is almost embarrassing really.

Now, everyone knows I like the ladies and they like me, but I'm just saying if I absolutely HAD to do a guy... it would be Rob.

late


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-13-10 at 01:59 AM
Whaddyamean? Would do him?
Who's name were you screaming out whilst straddling that low-hanging palm?
Rob's!
That's right.

I expect in the next few days you will have mounted him like a horny poodle.
"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 02-13-10 at 08:11 AM
Say, can I interest you in being part of my Dumb Chick Alliance? Cuz you acted like such a fanboy fawning over Boston Rob like you're a teenage girl...



"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by iltarion on 02-13-10 at 09:10 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-13-10 AT 09:11 PM (EST)

I had a horrifying flashback of being back in the Amazon running from pixies when I first saw you. Good job with trying to break that old guy's legs though while I byotched Colby.

Know your place, little man. If you come after Rob, you're going to pull back a stump.


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by qwertypie on 02-15-10 at 04:25 PM
*Swoon*
Colby? Colby who? You are my new honey!
-

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by iltarion on 02-16-10 at 00:11 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-16-10 AT 00:17 AM (EST)

Well, you've traded up, honey. I'll show you what a real man is like.

Colby is the kinda guy who shoots pool with a sweater tied around his neck.


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by jackandjill on 02-19-10 at 03:33 PM
You can have my seconds.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by jackandjill on 02-19-10 at 03:32 PM
I'm cuter than Rob. I felt your stiffness during the challenge.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by mrc on 02-13-10 at 09:02 AM
Rupert hurt toe.

Rupert build fire.

Rupert EPIC FAIL.


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Colonel Zoidberg on 02-13-10 at 10:55 AM
**sob**sob** I'm really a very dramatic person, you know.

But Sandra, girl, if you wanted to see my boobies, you could have just asked.

The Lobster Curse strikes again...next time I pick an avatar for a season like this, I'm picking someone I hate...

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-13-10 at 03:22 PM
Thank you, sugar. If for nothing else, our ratings were boosted by your bouncing blurs.
Thank you also to Cirie, Amanda, Danielle, Parvati, Jerri, Candice and Stephenie.
Next episode, let's try to get half a dozen blurred man parts, shall we?


As a side note, Col., Danielle is still available if you're interested in switching to a newer modeled BTS character. One more, hate-able.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 12:04 PM
I'll show you my man parts, blurred or unblurred, for an extra clue for the hidden immunity idol....and if you'll tell me where my Weight Watchers manual is hidden. And, you'll have to keep your mitts off of that well-known slut Colby.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Brownroach on 02-16-10 at 04:56 PM
♪ While choosing who to come on to
I may flirt with Tom, he’s all muscle
But if do I won’t follow through
'Cause my heart belongs to RussHell♪

(Evil MB made me sing that,
it wasn't my idea. Believe me.)

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by suzzee on 02-15-10 at 11:50 AM
I don't think you've ever been asked to flash them. They don't call them Sugar beads for nothin'. Besides it took you 3 hours to put your top back on. >quit stealing my thunder< humph


Everyone is my alliance

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Belle Book on 02-13-10 at 12:07 PM
Well, I'm back and I'm louder than ever! Did you see me at the Reward Challenge? I took off Sugar's top! Too bad I couldn't stop her from getting a point but that's the breaks. I did redeem myself at the Immunity Challenge, however. Rob & I worked the puzzle like masters and we won! With a little more luck and my "anybody but me" strategy, I'll be in the finals again -- and I might even win again!


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by suzzee on 02-15-10 at 11:52 AM
nekid may be good but I'm all for tearing arms out


Everyone is my alliance


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Scarlett O Hara on 02-16-10 at 08:04 PM
You better watch what you say bit --

'cuz I'm Stephanie, Queen of the Ruins -- the most physical and capable female speciman to ever grace the game. I'll beat your lyin', cheatin' A$$ to a pulp!

Sure, dislocate my shoulder, pop it back, and I'm ready to roll!!! I can take the pain, because I'm Stephanie, Queen of the Ruins.



"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by bostonrobfan on 02-13-10 at 01:55 PM
Seriously, Jiffy- what's the deal with you, MB, and RussHell? Got some sort of man crush on him? He doesn't fit the profile- he looks nothing like James. If you want to feature someone smart, funny, and slightly dastardly- focus on me, not that little Buddhaman.



"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-13-10 at 03:24 PM
Awww, Randy. You're more like Villain Lite.
Your great taste is debateable, but you are certainly less filling.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by handyandy on 02-13-10 at 02:30 PM
Hi Everyone! Bunny and Ra here to give our take on the Heroes and Villains show of the century.

Ra was very happy with the blurrage opportunities, naturally. He's really gearing up for the Poverty porn segments and showing as many of Amanda's assets as he can!

Poor Coach, I suppose it's a good thing that only Rob and Sandra saw him decide that certain nuts were better left on the tree than others! On the other hand, lets see if he can maintain his Dragon Slayer persona for his one true love dragon lady! Who else's buttons will Rob and Sandra try to push? Ra's pulling double shifts just following them around to see what villainous tomfoolery they'll get up to.

Wow, Sugar - way to go showing the entire tribe that your "annoying factor" was not just "creative editing" on MB's part. And you need to learn that with Colby, less is more. Especially when it comes to nocturnal adventures. Did you really not get the feeling that he was more interested in sleep than you? LOL

RussHell, your being the most recent All-Star should have given you a distinct advantage - but I think it is also putting you at a disadvantage as these people have learned not to trust anything after three Survivor tours.

Poor Jeffy, stuck in a treehouse with no roof, lots of rain and unable to get any closer to Colby than Sugar did! How soon will he be daring to bring out his giant log -- and will Colby even notice?

"How about a giant idol?"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-13-10 at 03:57 PM
Here, Colby!
"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by suzzee on 02-15-10 at 11:54 AM
oooooh, Jiffy..............


Everyone is my alliance

"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 12:06 PM
*thud*

"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 01:41 PM
There's always this giant idol.

"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by tribephyl on 02-15-10 at 03:04 PM
What?
So I'm a fan of the wood? So what?

I'm a fan of mornings too.
"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 03:19 PM

*snort*

"RE: How about a giant idol?"
Posted by jackandjill on 02-19-10 at 03:38 PM
I know where you can hide that!

What's WRONG with me? Am I on a supermagnetic island of gay men? Why do I find all these men so attractive?

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Belle Book on 02-13-10 at 04:12 PM
I agree with you on RussHell -- we may not have seen him since he is the most recent All-Star, but I've been around the block enough times to know that I shouldn't trust anything.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by MissMyth on 02-13-10 at 05:08 PM
Well I thought it was sweet of Colby to keep himself pure for Jiffy.

Scuse me, I gotta go talk to a few more people about forming an alliance. (wow, I feel like I'm channeling ... RussHell???)

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 02-13-10 at 06:52 PM
Dream on, kid. You'll never be as good as me at creating alliances.



"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by MissMyth on 02-16-10 at 05:36 PM
Watch it Shorty. Don't make me wring your neck like a chicken.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Ontheroadagain on 02-13-10 at 06:25 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-13-10 AT 06:25 PM (EST)

The worst thing about the first episode was there wasn't more of me. Maybe I was spending too much time with my feminent side.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-13-10 at 07:28 PM
I may be late, but I'm just too hot for this thread. Colby? Pah! Dang whippersnapper with those luscious pecs that have seen too many gyms.

Has anybody seen my Weight Watcher's manual?

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 02-13-10 at 09:32 PM
There you are, finally. I was beginning to think you were too ascairt to show your face here after the way I manhandled you in that challenge.

Remember when I told people that I was a fireman last season? Well, this fake fireman beat the sorry azz of a real fireman. Hah!



"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Belle Book on 02-14-10 at 11:42 AM
Actually, didn't you just say that you helped during Hurricane Katrina? And btw, you might have beaten a real fireman during the challenge, but who beat you in the game last season? A dumb girl! So who might beat you this season? Another "dumb girl"? And who knows, that "dumb girl" might be me!


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 00:45 AM
Pffft! I killed a shark, I could have killed you. But, I will wait...behind the scenes....until your most vulnerable time--like when you open your mouth--and all will be done.

By the way, remember that your tribemates know about your escapades with the chickens in the last show. Beware, grasshopper, beware

"By the way, SlowHell..."
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 01:04 AM
One of my many many many fans got it right:

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 02-14-10 at 02:45 PM
Hey everybody, you heard it from me-- I've been studying up for Final Tribal Council. No more runner-up finishes, I've got a slammin' speech ready this time around. Why don't you all go ahead and plan on taking me to F2 to be a goat? Especially you, Candice. Or are you waiting for your chance to switch tribes instead?

Go ahead, make my day.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by smokedog on 02-14-10 at 03:50 PM
Who's coattails are you gonna ride this season?


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 02-15-10 at 08:23 AM
Definitely not yours. I only ride coattails of people making it to the end.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by smokedog on 02-15-10 at 12:45 PM
Well.......you're fat!


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by jackandjill on 02-19-10 at 03:42 PM
Tom would make a good choice.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 01:16 PM
So...uh...wanna ride my coattails? I'll take you to the end, really I will.

*makes notes to vote Amanda off at F5*

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by smokedog on 02-15-10 at 03:24 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-15-10 AT 03:25 PM (EST)

Put your fire hose away, big boy. You're too old for me.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-15-10 at 06:29 PM
Ahem! You may notice that this was addressed to I-need-Amanda-hug-and-kiss. You'll have to take a number.

*makes note to blindside Candice*

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by agman on 02-15-10 at 07:33 PM
Get me some popcorn, This is gonna be good

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Max Headroom on 02-16-10 at 08:07 AM
If you get me on the Katie Gallagher "Gain Weight While on Survivor" plan, I might just think about it. But remember, I've got that slammin' Final TC speech ready, so be prepared to lose at the end, Weight Watcher boy.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Sagebrush Dan on 02-16-10 at 09:35 PM
Wanna run that speech by me? I'd like to squelch it NOW tell you how much I appreciate your out of control imagination fantastic writing skills.


"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Molaholic on 02-14-10 at 08:47 PM
Ho hum.

Let's see -- we got to see a stoopid RC reminiscent of the classic American Gladiators (or maybe the good old XFL). Sure we had some oobie-and-butt-crack blurs, but if blurs alone are enough to get you hot and bothered, then you really do need help (or you're 13 yrs old...) The swim/puzzle IC was another rehashed inanity.

The guy with the B hat did a little smoke-and-mirrors magic, but then why didn't he toss the flint back to JP with a sneer (or at least brag about it)?

Same-ol-same-old talking about who to oust, with nothing new shown at TC.

The teaser for next week -- looks like TAR's Roaming Gnome® was lurking in the jungle. But I think the reveal will be far from the peak.


Things could be worse. They could be forcing us to watch LOST

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by Spanky68 on 02-16-10 at 03:14 PM
I came in to look for my friend, Rob. Where are ya, buddy?

What? He's still half-buried in the sand? You mean back there where I ran over him during the 1st challenge?

Ah. That makes sense.

"RE: Be the A.S.S. #2: Episode 1: Getchur evil on!"
Posted by jackandjill on 02-19-10 at 03:30 PM
I'm conflicted. I really, really, really enjoyed being "coached". Is that bad? Am I turning into a girly man or just a girl?