Tabloid fever has already hit, folks. I have learned that The Sucksville Enquirer is preparing to publish what they call the "authentic" SV contestant applications. Fearing a sensationalized fabrication of the facts by this rag, I have provided links to all of the actual applications of the ladies involved. After all, we already have to deal with Shakes making up shit about us, we don't need the media to get away with it too.

If anyone has video links, video caps, or interviews with the contestants, I'm sure we'd all like to see them!

"The Ladies of Shakesvivor"

VampKira http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=561&forum=DCForumID1&omm=12

Dalton http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=409&forum=DCForumID6&omm=44 (be patient, there's a preamble before you get to her app)

ItzLisa http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=561&forum=DCForumID1&omm=7

Outfrontgirl http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=561&forum=DCForumID1&omm=11

Survivorchick
http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=665&forum=DCForumID4&omm=7

Dangerkitty http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=409&forum=DCForumID6&omm=10

Survivorchick
http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=665&forum=DCForumID4&omm=7

George Tirebiter http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=409&forum=DCForumID6&omm=11 (Note: this is not an actual app, as she didn't do one, but it is the closest we've got)

Mon Cherie
http://community.survivorblows.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=665&forum=DCForumID4&omm=8

This has been a public service.

dangerkitty

"Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella

• RE: Collected "Ladies of Shakesvivor" Applications,ItzLisa, 09:53 PM, 05-18-01
  • RE: Collected "Ladies of Shakesvivor" Applications,Minstrel, 11:02 PM, 05-18-01
    • RE: Collected "Ladies of Shakesvivor" Applications,dangerkitty, 00:55 AM, 05-19-01
• RE: Collected "Ladies of Shakesvivor" Applications,Survivorchick (Guest), 08:10 PM, 06-18-01

I love it! Not only are you protecting us from that lousy clown (he only takes two seconds, ladies! Sheesh!), but you're acting as our Press Agent too!

**************************************
W.L.S.F.C. - NY chapter

OMG!!!! I hope they don't get a hold of the male applications! Start investigating? What have I done!?

Ok, "honey" I've had 7 affairs in the last ten years of our marriage and I know our middle child is not mine, but that's fine, he's an idiot anyway. I'm sorry for forgetting your birthday (5 times), our anniversary (9 times), Christmas (3 times - I was, er out of town), and Valentines Day (4 times).

And those genuine pearls I bought you last year? Well they are genuine, genuine fakes. Oh yeah, remember that time you forgot where you put your savings from your paychecks? Well, I found out where you hide it and lost it gambling at the track, but I promise I won't do it ever again.

And, well I really don't like your cooking that much, but I know you try. And, could you forgive me for hiding your make up on a daily basis? You look like Tammy Faye Baker when you try to use it. But I love you and if we need counselling tell me and I will set an appointment for you, er us.

Ahhhhhrgggg! I'm soorrry! I have been abducted by aliens 16 times and they do weird stuff to me! It is frightening and I hope you understand.......

"What? They haven't selected the male contestants yet?"

"Uh, hon? Heheheh, you're going to get a laugh out of this when I tell you! er, heheheh, see I only said these things because I thought I was going to be on this TV show -- see, you can win money and we need money, and well, I can buy you all kinds of make up, and jewelry, and expensive things if I win! Kinda funny, heh? Heheheh, hon? Where u going, hon? What's with the suitcase?"

"Well don't forget to take the middle kid! I just wanted us to be happy and rich! And, I was abducted!! Look at these marks!"

(The door slams and the place is deserted except for a piece of paper floating down to the floor in all the confusion.)

It reads:

"We'll be back for the house and furniture in a week. We will not harm you. Please cooperate."

(Minstrel looks up at the wall that holds the stuffed hunting dog he once had that accidently got in the way of a crossbow's arrow. Honest, it was an accident!)

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

MInstrel!!! You slay me!!! What a collection of posts, leading up to this!!!

Don't worry honey, shell take you back...really she will....

dangerkitty

"Nevermind" - Kurt Cobain and Emily Litella

Hey thanks DK!
You linked my application twice! Bonus attention whore points for me. Unfortunately everything on my application is bullshit, but that's ok.