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Forum: DCForumID6
Thread Number: 38609
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Original Message
"Jesus!"
Posted by foonermints on 05-02-15 at 02:21 AM
Not to take the Lord's Name in Vain, but I am in a quandry.


Handcrafted by RollDdice

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by kidflash212 on 05-02-15 at 06:14 AM
Jerry Brown won't let you have any water?
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by kingfish on 05-02-15 at 10:22 AM
Either it's woman problems, or his mom pulled him out of a demonstration and gave him a beat down.
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by kingfish on 05-04-15 at 09:58 AM
Or, just possibly, the local moonshiner sacramental wine provider has been busted.
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by kidflash212 on 05-04-15 at 10:14 AM
Maybe we should collect bail money.
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by foonermints on 05-12-15 at 12:04 PM
I'm thinking of leaving Sandra for another woman. Leaving Southern California, that I dearly love, and moving to Bend, Oregon, which I do not.
Since I did my original post I had a gran mal siezure, needed meds and three stitches in my tongue.




What a crazy ##### life. Stress? God! Quitting the military too. How much life does anyone really have left?

"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by Molaholic on 05-04-15 at 03:57 PM
Is there anyone here that knows how to perform a quandryectomy?
"You Need a Scoop"
Posted by dabo on 05-04-15 at 10:44 PM
But you must choose wisely.

"RE: You Need a Scoop"
Posted by kingfish on 05-05-15 at 08:57 AM
That first one looks like it what you would need for that occasional "accident" in the swimming pool. The not "Baby Ruth" kind.
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by kingfish on 05-05-15 at 08:55 AM
Oh, and by the way, my neighbor down the street, Haysus, is looking for you. I think he's angry.
"is that like a "
Posted by moonbaby on 05-05-15 at 10:20 AM
quagmire?
"Jesus in Nebraska"
Posted by dabo on 05-05-15 at 09:36 PM
http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/davidbadash/nebraska_woman_sues_all_homosexuals_in_federal_court_because_jesus_literally

Nebraska woman acting as ambassador for God and Jesus files suit against all homosexuals alias gays alleging that homosexuality is a sin and .. um .. if they don't cut it out wanting their rights and stuff God and Jesus will be forced to do a Sodom and Gomorrah on the United States of America even though they love us.

No, really.

"RE: Jesus in Nebraska"
Posted by kingfish on 05-06-15 at 08:57 AM
One of the many harebrained aspects of her submission is that she seems to be arguing both sides of the case.

This lady needs zRhelp.

"RE: Jesus in Nebraska"
Posted by dabo on 05-06-15 at 12:30 PM
I read the whole thing and felt like the Indian chief in "Frisco Kid" who read the Torah -- did not understand a single word.
"RE: Jesus in Nebraska"
Posted by kidflash212 on 05-06-15 at 12:31 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-06-15 AT 12:37 PM (EST)

Bless her batsheet crazy heart.


Better get there early, all the seats will fill up if all of us have to be there.

"RE: Jesus in Nebraska"
Posted by kingfish on 05-06-15 at 04:53 PM
They're going to be dropping the net on her pretty soon, so anyone interested in witnessing the trial will have to get a seat in the community room at the asylum.
"RE: Jesus!"
Posted by Dakota on 05-09-15 at 02:30 AM
I read a book on the subject. Seemed like a great guy. Jack Reacher eat your heart out.

Agman's Spring Fling '12.2

"Jesus Loves Mary Jane"
Posted by dabo on 05-10-15 at 01:23 PM
http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2015/05/texas-frees-the-weed-for-jesus-religious-grounds-justify-marijuana-legalization/

Simpson, a tea party Republican, has repeatedly championed what he calls the “Christian case” for the legalization of marijuana.

File that under sentences you never in your life expected to read.

"RE: Jesus Loves Mary Jane"
Posted by kingfish on 05-10-15 at 05:45 PM
He probably realized why all those people back then needed all those fishes and loaves. There was probably some wine involved, too.

Jesus's first miracle was some killer Canaan Bud. That gave them the dry mouth and the munchies.

So he kind of owed it to them.

"RE: Jesus Loves Mary Jane"
Posted by foonermints on 05-12-15 at 12:13 PM
My son just got first options on a dispensary permit in Seattle.
I'll have to drum up 70k for him, but it's probably a gold mine.


Handcrafted by RollDdice
That is zHrelp, btw you moron!

"RE: Jesus Loves Mary Jane"
Posted by kingfish on 05-12-15 at 12:21 PM
Congratulations. I assume that means that all he needs is money?

I can't wait for the next Secret Santa season.

"RE: Jesus Loves Mary Jane"
Posted by foonermints on 05-12-15 at 12:25 PM
If I live that long. Now I have Colleen yelling at me too.

Freaking Women!


They did something to me on that saucer 2Patch, I swear they did!