OK, not what I was thinking.

But having read the page, I can definitevly state I have no desire to read 50 Shades of Gray.

Did you know 50 Shades began its life as a Twilight fanfic? It's absolutely true!

...um... that's Twilight as in 'sparkly vampires'. Not a certain obsessive-compulsive purple unicorn. I thought I'd better clear that up. Quickly.

But when you start to look at the work that way, it explains a lot, doesn't it? And no, I'm not reading it either. It's like getting homework. Boring mechanical homework.

Incidentally, the page illustration on this trope is borderline brilliant. And still wouldn't get into most sex education textbooks for being too explicit.

Animation is difficult.

Animation is time-consuming.

Animation is an art form which can take a lifetime to master.

Animation is expensive.

Extras and tracing paper are cheap.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Rotoscoping

This is a nearly-lost art: film live actors performing the scene, then sketch their outlines over each frame and call the result animation. It's not particularly loved or respected -- in fact, it's often viewed as a cheap trick and easy way out -- but for incredibly complicated movements such as, say, a martial art the animators haven't studied for five years, it can be the simplest way through for those who can't afford motion capture.

Of course, motion capture is getting cheaper by the year.

And naturally, most animators hate that too.

You don't have to live in constant fear of the worst happening to them, because it already has.

They require no food or training. Shelter is still possible, but tends to be a one-time purchase.

Spend as little time with them as you like. They won't care.

Kidnapped? So what? Taken hostage? Doesn't matter. Threats against them? Just laugh it off.

Yes, there are so many benefits involved that it becomes hard to keep track of them all. On the whole, some might argue that you're better off without having to constantly tow the weight.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeadSidekick

And the self-hatred only masses eighty tons.

Computers don't know when something is supposed to be solid.

Build a character out of pixels and as far as the computer is concerned, all those pixels are freely allowed to pass through any and all other pixels in existence. The program has to be taught about tangibility. So for most video games, you get what's called a hitbox. This is the part of the character's body -- or enemy, environment, anything -- which is 'solid'. If two hitboxes touch, the computer knows a pair of objects are interacting. For a fighting game, it's a blow which landed and damage is registered. If you're jumping platforms, the hitboxes for ledge and feet make contact and you've completed the leap.

But that's what happens when the programming was right.

It's a fighting game and you're trying to hit the enemy. Unfortunately, his hitbox is two pixels wide and located in the bottom of his right foot. Good luck. Or maybe it's hanging in the air five feet to his left. Or here's a fun idea: let's make your own hitbox twice the size of your body. Not only does anyone contacting the local atmosphere knock you down, but the game considers you to be somewhat wider than you are and here comes a narrow gap. So a smaller hitbox would be better for you? Well, we forgot to have it cover your feet and this is a jumping game, so that platform doesn't know you exist.

Oops?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HitboxDissonance

Yeah, right. 'Oops.'

So you're setting a story in Russia and want to give it some local flavor. One of the ways you could do that is by rendering all the local visible writing in Cyrillic. But -- you're lazy. (You haven't changed much since the last time we used you with a trope.) You're not going to get a Russian-English dictionary, study the actual letters of Cyrillic -- a melding of Greek, Glagolitic, and Hebrew drawn up under Latin guidelines -- and figure out how to pronounce that nightmare. No, you're just going to -- faux it up a little. And what's the easiest way to do that?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheBackwardsR

So it's official. The largest toy store chain in the States is a bunch of Communists.

And now IceCat shows up and shows off.

http://www.theworldofstuff.com/other/cyrillic.html

Recipe for instant depression: take a title, add a color.

But only one color will do.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SomethingBlues

No jazz clue has ever spent an evening singing about the pain from a horrible case of the greens.

(Whites, yes.)

... which refers to a particularly vile form of loose stool that I develop when I accidently get some Riyadh city water in my mouth.

TMI, T.M.I!

Well that, too. Too.Much.Information.

I really didn't need to know what color your bile is.

... of the apple and kale smoothie that I usually drink to rectify the issue.

Recipe located here.

Rectifying your rectum.

Damn near wrecked 'em.

Let us consider Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry. It has stood for hundreds of years. The building has been systematically reinforced, enchanted, enscorcelled, and imbued by the best spellcasters each generation had to offer. The most sophisticated castings in existence are soaked into the walls. It is staffed by the some of the most talented magicians in the world and led by the most powerful on the planet. It is frequently described as the single safest place available. It is a fortress with desks.

Now: let us consider the total number of times, over the course of seven books, where it was infiltrated, broken into, seized...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnsafeHaven

...broken out of, established yet another insecure passage through the security measures...

In many fictional businesses, those who are most incompetent, stupid, hateful, completely lacking in empathy, totally unskilled, and unable to make any connections between their actions and what happens in the world around them generally wind up you'd expect to find them:

In charge.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PointyHairedBoss

In real life, it's almost exactly the same, except that they also wind up being elected to Congress.

If you ever push Jonathan & Martha's son too far...

...he'll let you know.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GlowingEyesOfDoom

...but if you think about it, this is a simple lack of preparedness. After all, you still have a place to carry your keys...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NakedPeopleTrappedOutside

Scouts y'all clearly ain't.

Medicine is about helping people get better, no matter what it takes.

Medicine is about making the maximum amount of money for the minimum amount of effort, responsibility, and contact with the patient.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GoodDocBadDoc

And these days, wanting medical treatment is all about turning into a socialist.

Read "Charlatan" by Pope Brock.

Not fiction.

And, while you writhe in the imagined pain of someone who puts himself in the place of one of the examples given, be happy if you not a man with a oversexed nagging wife.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EthicalSlut

...read the description carefully.

Jerks.

And yes, I am completely aware of those here who crossed off 'ethical'.

Every performer has the same nightmare.

You're doing a scene which depicts your character's death. Everything's going well. The lines are being delivered, the posing is proper, there are no stray booms in the shot. And then, out of nowhere, what's happening to your character begins happening to you. You're no longer faking the pains, or forcing screams, or pretending muscle movements are spasms. It's all real. And you scream for help -- to the silent thumbs-up of the crew. It's what you were supposed to do, and you're doing it better than you ever have before. No one comes to help. No one stops it. Why should they? It's the performance of your lifetime. And it's also the final curtain.

Every performer has the same nightmare.

There's a reason for that.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FatalMethodActing

LAST EDITED ON 10-15-13 AT 03:23 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 10-15-13 AT 03:22 PM (EST)

I didn't check all the examples, but I would guess that the most clichéd form of this would be the Magician who kills his assistant on stage. And of those would be during the saw-her-in-half trick, or the insertion of swords into a box (and thru the assisant) trick.

Occasionally the Magician is killed.

Bob Denver was nearly killed by a live lion used in one episode of Gilligan's Island. Nevertheless, most of the cast considered the episode to be their favorite.

Went through the entire thing, Houdini is the only magician mentioned.

Can't believe they omitted Phantom of the Paradise in the fiction examples.

http://listofdeaths.wikia.com/wiki/Phantom_of_the_Paradise

Beef - Burned to death when Winslow threw a mechanical lightning bolt at him onstage. He did this because he only wanted Phoenix to sing his music. The crowd thought this to be a stunt, even after his remains were taken into a truck.

Here's a new one for the list:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/15/man-chokes-to-death-sausage-eating-competition-romania_n_4100838.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Man Chokes To Death At Sausage-Eating Competition In Romania

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeddingDay

I would say more, but some of you are already having flashbacks.

Sometimes a myth tells you something about the culture which spawned it. Americans like to pretend they have personalities, so we get the tall tales with literal larger-than-life characters: Paul Bunyan comes to mind. Russians gave us stories with normal elements combined and asked to serve a fantastic purpose: huts which walk on chicken legs, flying mortars powered by a pestle.

The Irish provided women who scream at you until you die.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OurBansheesAreLouder

...not saying a bloody word.

We can all name a few posters whose banshee screams were pretty loud. Emotionally.

A very awkward battle from Estonia: As it happened, the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany were both invaders. While the Soviets forcefully conscripted Estonians, the Nazis only took volunteers; either way, there were entire units of Estonians on both sides. During a particularly dark night, one of the Soviet-Estonian companies encountered a Nazi-Estonian company while marching through the forest.

Since both sides spoke Estonian, neither unit realized they were marching with the enemy—but when they did, all hell broke loose. Due to low visibility, the soldiers dropped their weapons, grabbed bayonets or knives and then held their weapon in one hand and with the other reached to touch each others' heads under the helmets. This is because the Soviet conscripts had shaven heads while the German army let the volunteers' hair be—so they determined who was friend or foe by haircut.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FriendOrFoe

It is estimated that since the invention of practical guns, ten percent of all war casualties came from being fired on by the victim's own allies.

Think about that for a minute.

The Fog of War.

I could also relate this trope to these pages, A number of times I have been blown up by someone I was actually agreeing with. I suppose that it’s possible that I might occasionally make poor word choices.

The bad guy robs banks, then deposits the case in another branch of the same chain.

The bad guy steals diamonds and places every last one at the end of a drill. With all those drills for sale. In the hardware store he also broke into.

The bad guy got copies of every hero's fingerprints and made a giant art collage with them.

The bad guy says it's all part of the plan.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HiddenAgendaVillain

The writers have no idea what they're doing.

It does not have true intelligence. It can understand orders, but it will treat them literally while never thinking about the consequences.

Sometimes it will take an order just a little more literally than it should. This inevitably leads to disaster.

If told to do so, it will fight. It feels no pain. It does not understand fear. It attacks until everything is destroyed.

It is powered by a special language. Changing a single bit of the code can destroy everything.

It is made from a thousand pounds of clay.

And incidentally, it's Jewish.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Golem

So when the robots finally take over, at least we know who the surviving humans are going to blame for the original idea.

Odd thought (aren't they all?), I wonder if Frosty the Snowman somehow derived from the Jewish Golem legend. Animated ball of show, animated ball of clay...

I will take that oddly seriously and say no. The golem tales have arguably led to a lot of other things: you can make a real argument for them as the grandfathers of all science fiction robots who just weren't quite sentient. But I also think that's the distinguishing factor: sentience. If something can truly think and make decisions for itself, it's not a golem -- at least, not one that stayed on the main trunk of the original tree.

Even so, my favorites are one of the divergences: the Discworld golems. They can think -- but they have no free will. They were created to serve as workers, they follow every order, and their only form of rebellion is following one a little too closely. When not working, they can act on their own -- but most of them are kept laboring at all times, so as to prevent those acts. And they have no choice in any of it, because the chem in their heads tells them what they can be, and only their owners can tell them what to do.

And then one day in the course of a police investigation, Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson purchased a golem for one A-M dollar. Got a formal written sales receipt. And stuck it in the golem's head right next to the chem.

A piece of paper which told the golem that it now owned itself.

It touched off the single quietest slave revolt in Disc history...

(Short version: they now labor for the funds to buy each other. Each purchased golem gets its receipt, freeing it -- and then that golem works to help purchase another, and so on down the line.)

I see your point.

I've forgotten much of the Discworld trilogy (just 3?), but I do remember that there were a lot of imaginative "what ifs" explored, such as the "what if a Golem could own itself" possibility.

And since they seemed to have some resentment at being forced to follow every owner order slavishly, one might think that their motivation upon being given free will would be different, a not so quiet revolt.

LAST EDITED ON 10-21-13 AT 10:39 AM (EST)

I've forgotten much of the Discworld trilogy (just 3?)

Um...

...you're a little behind...

http://discworld.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Discworld_Books

(The central golem novel is Feet Of Clay.)

The reason behind the relative silence of the revolt was the events which had preceded it. The golems, who knew the secrets to making more of their own, had tried to create their own king to lead them out of their condition. This, to use an understatement, backfired in the key of murder and anti-golem sentiment, which had always been present as background noise, got a lot stronger -- to the point where the city's golems were in serious danger of being attacked. And they had no ability to defend themselves.

The case was resolved -- but Dorfl, the first of the free golems, saw what could happen if open revolt truly took place. He decided the best way to free the others was through freehold: a silent revolution fought entirely with sales receipts. Those he initially purchased followed his example.

However, not every golem can be freed. Not all were created using chems and for those exceptions, no one knows any way to change their orders. Others wind up being freed and just stand in place thinking Now what? because following instructions is all they know. Some have been around so long that they just want to stop.

The Golem Trust can't even find all their fellows. Some of them have been hidden by the nature of their tasks. Imagine a medieval water pump. No electricity. No powered machinery. Just a golem at the bottom of a flooded shaft, turning a handle. For centuries. Who even remembers the golem is there?

And there's still anti-golem resentment. They work. They work endlessly in the most menial of jobs for the smallest wages -- so naturally, others see them as stealing those jobs. And again, given that only freed golems can fight back...

The golem revolution is a process, and a slow one. It hasn't been all that steady or well-received -- and that's with the free ones keeping it as quiet and peaceful as possible. They're getting there -- but the world pushes back.

LAST EDITED ON 10-21-13 AT 09:50 AM (EST)

Wow. No idea there was so much Discworld.

And (redfaced confession), it didn't help that I was actually thinking of the Ringworld books.

wikipedia says

"Ringworld is a 1970 science fiction novel by Larry Niven, set in his Known Space universe and considered a classic of science fiction literature. It is followed by three sequels and four prequels, and ties into numerous other books set in Known Space."

And thus we learn that no matter which series he's mistakenly in, Kingfish still can't count.

I made you out of clay,
Upon the the nearby village,
Destruction will you lay.

I greased your dreidel.

LAST EDITED ON 10-21-13 AT 07:49 AM (EST)

Is that a rpg reference to things like wizards casting grease spells?

*rolls for damage*

So someone invented a theory which will produce hyper-advanced technology. Kudos, we're sure. The idea is sound. The inventor is sure it'll work under field conditions. Isn't it great, having that idea?

...yeah, as if the idea was all there was.

Someone has to build the thing which incorporates that idea.

Someone has to test it.

Someone has to maintain the equipment, figure out how it can be repaired in a hurry, or driven beyond its limits when an emergency hits. Someone has to figure in for stresses and environmental problems and one-in-a-million instances cropping up nine times out of ten.

That someone is crucial. Without that someone, all you have is an idea -- and an idea on its own doesn't always do something.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheEngineer

And when the idea starts being used against you -- someone knows how to take it apart...

The first part of your description of the trope immediately made me think of a 1971 novel by Edwin Corley called "The Jesus Factor".

Basically the driving engine of the plot is: although the Trinity nuclear tests were successful, scientists later discover that a nuclear bomb will not detonate unless it is stationary within a gravitational field which makes the whole bomb/missile thing pretty much impossible.

The US then simulates the atomic attacks on Nagasaki and Hiroshima by the coordinated use of high-explosives, incindiary bombs and massive magnesium photoflashes to simulate the actinic flash.

So that kinda captures the spirit of the trope with theory not quite making it to practical application thus requiring an engineered solution to achive the desired outcome.

And, someone has to drive the train.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedArmbandOfLeadership

...oh dear.

It's an Eastern trope, okay?

Absolutely first thought that crossed my mind?

Nazi SS Uniform

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SurvivalMantra

I must not fart.
Farts are the lung-killer.
Farts are the little-death that bring total suffocation.
I will hold my fart.
I will not permit it to pass through me and from me.
Until it has gone I will clench the inner eye to seal its path.
Where the others have gone there will be farting.
When only I remain.

Been sitting on that one for a while, haven't you?

I'm surprised you unleashed it at all. Didn't your parents teach you to raise the other cheek?

... I learned from George Carlin - including the one-cheek sneak.

1 Reality TV is my entertainment; I shall not need writers.

2 Jiffy maketh me return to redemption isle : he leadeth me to hidden idol clues

3 He snuffeths my torch: he leadeth me in endless puzzle challenges.

4 Yea, though they cast contestants through the valley of the shadow of Grodner, I will fear no Hantz: for thou art mocking me; thy rod and thy staff they give Tribe siggies.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the auction challenge: thou anointest my shirt with colored paint, my tears runneth over.

6 Surely Outwitlessness and Outnastiness shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the tribal council set for ever.

I think you confused Survival Mantra and Madness Mantra.

Or possibly Survival Mantra and Suicide Note.

Your parents died doing this.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/PursuingParentalPerils

Sounds like fun!

So. Apparently there's a video game out there in which a zombie will attack you with a horse wiener.

It is not an adult game. There's no pornographic element. It's a quest adventure. It's just that -- there's a zombie. Attacking you with a horse wiener.

You are allowed to steal the horse wiener.

You may then count the horse wiener among your active equipment, where it will somehow provide you with enhanced speed, attack capability, and damage capacity. One wonders if it was doing the same for the zombie.

Why does the horse wiener do this?

There might be an in-game mystical reason. It could be a contact drug agent of some very strange sort. Maybe Biogenesis got involved. But ultimately, it's because game programmers get sick of magic swords and magic gems and magic potions, so...

...horse wiener.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ImprobableAccessoryEffect

Which doesn't change the fact that you are now attacking the enemy with a horse wiener.

And it used to be the property of a zombie.

Let's get back to talking about Boobs.

Tell you what: let's have someone cut off your genitals in the name of career choice and see how nice a person you turn out to be.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EunuchsAreEvil

From the trope page's description:

"The condition where characters (especially the cute ones) talk with the L's and R's replaced with W's in their words, along with the softening of hard suffixes such as "-er." In Real Life, the latter condition is called rhotacism, a term that must have been constructed specifically to make those who have the condition unable to say it without invoking it."

What are we referring to?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ElmuhFuddSyndwome

Beware the video links, for they include audio...

"Mawidge. Mawidge is what bwings us togevvah today. Mawidge, that bwessed awangement, that dweam wiffin a dweam. And wuv, twue wuv, wiw fowwow you fowevah and evah? So tweasuwe youw wove? Have you the wing?"

LAST EDITED ON 10-27-13 AT 08:38 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 10-27-13 AT 02:02 PM (EST)

Translating selections of this thread into fudd:

I bewieve it was Wobin Wiwwiams who said that bad aduwt entewtainment tuwns into an industwiaw fiwm covewed in fuw.

But having wead the page, I can definitevwy state I have no desiwe to wead 50 Shades of Gway.

So you'we setting a stowy in Wussia and want to give it some wocaw fwavow. One of the ways you couwd do that is by wendewing aww the wocaw visibwe wwiting in Cywiwwic.

Wet us considew Hogwawts Schoow Of Witchcwaft And Wizawdwy. It has stood fow hundweds of yeaws.

And these days, wanting medicaw tweatment is aww about tuwning into a sociawist.

Wead "Chawwatan" by Pope Bwock.

Occasionawwy the Magician is kiwwed.

Buwned to deaf when Winswow thwew a mechanicaw wightning bowt at him onstage.

De Fog of Waw.

I wondew if Fwosty the Snowman somehow dewived fwom the Jewish Gowem wegend.

Appawentwy thewe's a video game out thewe in which a zombie wiww attack you wif a howse wienew.

Bewawe the video winks, fow they incwude audio.

Now you have to cwick on the image to see wobin wock out spwingsteen.

...picture of me in that ridiculously revealing outfit...

...picture of me proudly attending the AVN Awards...

...picture of me which is probably admissible in that one court case...

...picture of me at the Young Republicans Conference...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EmbarrassingSlide

...I was new in the city and I needed the money?

LAST EDITED ON 10-29-13 AT 09:09 AM (EST)

How'd they miss Cawnew Knowwedge?

Once upon a time, there was an anime series with the rather unwieldy English-translated name of Samurai Pizza Cats. Because a certain quarter of mutated turtles were popular at the time, an American company decided they could sell the series just based on the title and purchased the rights from Japan. The original creators sent the complete set of episodes to the States for dubbing. However, that mailing left out two minor things.

The audio.

The scripts.

This left the voice actors translating a series with nothing to translate. All they could do was watch the action on the screen and make up a story which vaguely seemed to fit.

It worked. Somehow, it worked.

In fact, it worked so well that it made people remember one of Woody Allen's early movies, What's Up, Tiger Lily?, in which he basically did the same thing with live action...

...and then, with the concept having effectively been revived, it started to spread again...

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GagDub

This trope covers anything where the script from the original work was more or less thrown out, with the new one adding comedy while ignoring as many plot elements as necessary to make it work. The results can sometimes be superior to the original. Other times, characters get lost, storylines shredded, and fight sequences take six months while everyone forgets what's being fought for. This trope does not guarantee a quality result and can often represent pure laziness on the part of the translators.

And at other times...

...well, if Groucho Marx likes the Spanish version of his film better than the original, it may be time to learn Spanish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brpub0hTbjs

Swoop of the day?

I *lurk* in lurkerdom waiting to SWOOP!

In a conflict between two armies with uniforms, all other things being equal, the guys with the more elaborate uniforms will lose.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SukhomlinovEffect

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection. No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.

Or in other words:

Yes, that second lieutenant is in fact trying to get you killed.