Forum: DCForumID6
Thread Number: 38012
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Original Message
"Bad dog, Arfie, Bad dog!."
Posted by kingfish on 02-27-13 at 02:02 PM
LAST EDITED ON 02-28-13 AT 10:41 AM (EST)Don’t believe the published account:
Here’s the real story:
Arfie had been building up resentment his whole life toward Mort.
Mort liked to hunt ducks. He bought a duck dog and began training him to go with him on hunts and retrieve ducks that he shot out of the sky, and occasionally, off the water. He let his youngest son name the dog, and since he arfed a lot, the kid named him Arfie (the kid never exhibited any imagination, even later in life. Pretty much a dullard).
Most of the time when it seemed that when he was half asleep and gazing thru drooping eyes at his owner/master/lord high muckety muck, Arfie was plotting his escape. However, the circumstances never were right, so slowly, over the years, resentment turned to mania, and the plans of escape took a more sinister turn. Murder began to be a theme. He began daydreaming about killing Mort.
If Arfie couldn't imprison Mort outdoors in a concrete floored cage, fed leftovers, and be made to jump into ice cold water naked, retrieve a bloody duck in his mouth without being allowed to eat the duck (or even ruffle its feathers), then be made to lie in the bottom of a boat in freezing weather, wet, shivering, and still naked, then killing Mort would be a satisfactory plan B.
Finally his chance came. Mort normally visits a gun range for trap shooting practice before duck season in order to hone his wing shot. On a recent occasion, Arfie was able to grab a loaded 9mm automatic pistol from an inattentive shooter at the adjacent pistol range and stash it under the seat of Mort's truck. Mort normally kept an unloaded .380 pistol there, but didn't notice the switch. They sorta looked the same. On he way home it was just a matter of kicking the gun while pretending to chase a rabbit in his sleep, and Arfie managed to get off a shot at Mort.
Unfortunately a dog doesn't have opposable thumbs and can’t aim a gun properly, so Mort was just wounded. The police failed to arrest Arfie, him being just a dog. Supposedly man’s best friend and all, you know.
So, will Arfie kill Mort with his next attempt? Stay tune for Part 2 of the story, straight from Frostproof Falls, FL.
To the Shwack shack with you!
Table of contents
- Huh,moonbaby, 03:01 PM, 02-27-13
- RE: Huh,kingfish, 10:42 AM, 02-28-13
- Turning on the heat....,cahaya, 03:35 PM, 02-27-13
- RE: Turning on the heat....,kingfish, 03:53 PM, 02-27-13
- Is a Doggie License to Kill...,byoffer, 11:30 PM, 03-02-13
- RE: Bad dog, Arfie, Bad dog!.,cahaya, 10:43 AM, 03-05-13
- RE: Bad dog, Arfie, Bad dog!.,kingfish, 11:13 AM, 03-05-13
Messages in this discussion
"Huh"
Posted by moonbaby on 02-27-13 at 03:01 PM
I thought maybe when the dog got in to drive he put the gun on the floor and had to (for some unknown reason) slam on the brakes. He stomped on the gun instead and the passenger got shot.
"RE: Huh"
Posted by kingfish on 02-28-13 at 10:42 AM
Spoiler alert: You may have let plan B out of the bag.
"Turning on the heat...."
Posted by cahaya on 02-27-13 at 03:35 PM
The incident is only the latest in a string of bizarre shootings in Florida. Just last week, a woman in St. Petersburg was wounded when she was shot by a friend's oven.
"RE: Turning on the heat...."
Posted by kingfish on 02-27-13 at 03:53 PM
Sounds like an inside job to me.
"Is a Doggie License to Kill..."
Posted by byoffer on 03-02-13 at 11:30 PM
...double-0 K9?
"RE: Bad dog, Arfie, Bad dog!."
Posted by cahaya on 03-05-13 at 10:43 AM
Part 2.A Massachusetts police dog searching for a handgun not only found the weapon but fired it with his paw, a police chief said Sunday.
Ivan is trained "to paw" if he finds something.
Arf!
"RE: Bad dog, Arfie, Bad dog!."
Posted by kingfish on 03-05-13 at 11:13 AM
Can I call it or what!Part 2 also involves a canine personality that, in spite of appearances (the wagging tail is just a nervous reflex and the 'canine smile' is just a trick of facial physiology) was very unhappy with its role of having to find but never being allowed to consume anything, including drugs, road kill, convicts on the run, etc., and after years of dissatisfaction finally became psychopathic and took advantage of an opportunity to blow away the source of its torment.
<Bang> "How about a 9mm chewstick for you? Huh? <Bang> "Suck that, bitch! Who's the Master Now? Who's the Master now?"
This should be a cautionary tale for people with Seeing Eye dogs, service dogs, and combat dogs as well as all hunting dogs and police dogs. People, keep your eye on your weapons; your dog may be only pretending to be your best friend.
And those of you with lap dogs, wear a cup.