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"Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."

Posted by Estee on 12-31-12 at 04:42 PM
10. The Olsen twins were just found curled up in an L.A. subway station, rocking back and forth while muttering 'It should have been ours, it all should have been ours...'

9. The grandmother-to-be has already sold the naming rights, franchise fees, merchandizing, and most of the stem cells. Purely out of love, of course. Why, when the kid turns eighteen, s/he gets a whole 0.0001%!

8. Meanwhile, North Carolina hastily unveils a Rap Marriage Amendment.

7. Ten million women just cofounded www.watchKKsfiguredie.com (It's a pay site.)

6. Now awaiting the rap wars delivering their first roll-by stroller rattle-throwing.

5. "She's the person I see most and who loves me more than anyone? So is the head of the film crew my mommy?"
"No."
"Lead makeup?"
"No."
"Script revisor"
"Sometimes."

4. Are we collectively willing to grant the apocalypse doomsayers a slight extension?

3. The womb camera will only be live for twenty minutes, but you can buy the complete nine month Blu-Ray compilation on Amazon or just sign up for streaming video!

2. "Kim, I know you're in labor right now, I'm gonna let you finish, but I've just got to tell you, I'm never gonna marry you, I don't want any of my fans to marry their own baby mommas, and I'm never giving you a dime in child support or a moment of attention to my baby! Let's have another!"

1. ...that kid is going to be so screwed up...

Is it possible to have so many megaDAW genes in one human without having them cancel out?


Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"*twitch*"
Posted by Snidget on 12-31-12 at 04:51 PM


I'm not cleaning the gene pool!


"RE: *twitch*"
Posted by suzzee on 01-02-13 at 03:10 PM
exactly my reaction


Coronation by Tribe


"DAW Birth Announcements Of Our Time."
Posted by Estee on 12-31-12 at 05:09 PM
What makes me sickest is that he actually said "Baby momma".

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/64422/the-kimye-baby-sign-of-the-apocalypse-or-dawning-of-the-age-of-aquarius

Next up, "personal breeder".


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by kidflash212 on 12-31-12 at 05:16 PM

So the Anti-Christ will be here in nine months or so.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 12-31-12 at 05:42 PM
Kind of begs the question of what the Mark is going to be.

I keep picturing an anthropomorphic personification of 2012 staggering towards the exit, muttering "You think I was a hell year? You think I used every trick in the robe? Take this!"


"I believe"
Posted by moonbaby on 12-31-12 at 08:27 PM
it's spelled Anti-Khrist.

"RE: I believe"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 01-02-13 at 05:28 PM
I'm calling it the KKK baby. (KK for Kim + K for Kanye)

KKK is offensive, just like KK and K both are.


"RE: I believe"
Posted by kingfish on 01-02-13 at 05:43 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-02-13 AT 08:53 PM (EST)

What are the odds the kid's initials won't be KKK? I mean, it's not like they have ever had image intelligence before.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 12-31-12 at 05:21 PM
Who?

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by cahaya on 01-01-13 at 02:55 AM
And why?

Does anyone really care?


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 01-01-13 at 10:02 AM
Are you claiming that ten million tabloid readers don't have their priorities straight? Because those tabloids will print a story about whose priorities are straight. Or gay. But seldom bi.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by cahaya on 01-02-13 at 11:39 AM
It's the pictures that make the tabs stand out in the supermarket aisle. This one taken just a few days ago...


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 01-02-13 at 02:39 PM
That outfit is so hideous, I can't see paying less than eight thousand dollars for it.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by dabo on 01-02-13 at 02:55 PM
Um, yeah, okay, it's the outfit that's hideous, mm-hmmmm.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 01-02-13 at 03:06 PM
'tis. Whoever did her hair and makeup (especially the hair) that night wasn't exactly rendering any favors, but as far as I'm concerned, the dress is the worst offender.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by kingfish on 01-02-13 at 03:09 PM
Just to thrown in an incongruity, I had a high school English teacher (probably in her 50s) with a stance and lower calves like that. Add square heeled school teacher lace up shoes and black support hose and they could be twins.

Am ashamed to realize what impulses the rest of the dress would have caused. But then, high school boys are basically brainless bags of hormones.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by SOAR64 on 01-02-13 at 05:19 PM
Her lower lip appears to have been stung by a bee. I hope she did not pay for injections.

"Top Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by kingfish on 01-02-13 at 10:30 AM
LAST EDITED ON 01-02-13 AT 12:21 PM (EST)

1. Once again defying common sense and the physical constraints of this reality, Obama immediately blames it on GWB.

2. Democrats (and most Republicans) are astonished to find that there is a worse fate than having Palin elected Vice President.

3. Obama realizes that having terrorists break in to the White House and feed Michelle into a wood chipper wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen. In his inner soul he acknowledges that that doesn't even break into the top ten.

4. Mitt realizes that losing to Obama wasn’t the worst thing in the world, after all. It's actually therapeutic for him.

OK, enough with the political takes on this. At the cost of so many Biden comparisons).

5. Kingfish realizes that there might actually be something worse than this freaking flu. Might. And dying isn't one of them.

6. The Mayans are wondering “What were we worried about? End of the world? Pffft. Son of KK-K is the real mega-calamity."

7. Speaking of which, Stephen King was looking for an idea for his new book…


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Max Headroom on 01-02-13 at 11:09 PM
Taylor Swift should've interrupted their announcement to say that Kris Humphries was a better choice for Kim.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by cahaya on 01-03-13 at 00:49 AM
Dear sir, I think your Hollywood reasoning is snowed under, but then, so is mine.


Smurfy snowy holiday present by agman


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by qwertypie on 01-03-13 at 04:11 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha!

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Brownroach on 01-03-13 at 11:34 AM
There's still time: she can take care of it during the upcoming Grammys show.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 01-05-13 at 09:44 AM
According to our own front page, Grandma K was originally planning on selling the birth announcement news until Kanye ruined everything for her (not a surprise) and no marriage is planned (even less of a not a surprise because not-quite-divorced or not, when "baby momma" is used, no marriage ever takes place). So no six-digit payout and no change to rob a rapper blind with careful presentation of frills bills. Not a good week for Kris.

Well, she does have a new kid to exploit. That should make up for everything.

But what if it's a boy?


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by cahaya on 01-05-13 at 07:07 PM
Or worse, if it's a girl?

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Estee on 06-14-13 at 12:28 PM
'tis.

I do wish this kid a lot of luck. I'm not sure that much luck exists...


"Baby Shower gift"
Posted by kidflash212 on 01-05-13 at 06:51 PM
Some furniture made out of fungus:

Seems fitting somehow.


Capn2patch put me in motion!


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Puffy on 01-05-13 at 08:43 PM

Kris Humphries is legallly the father. That should make him want to sign the divorce papers quickly.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 01-06-13 at 09:27 PM
As seen elsewhere:

Kim Kardashian reported she hadn't experienced any nausea or vomiting yet.

That's because the rest of the world is doing it for her.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by suzzee on 01-07-13 at 04:58 PM
True dat.


I should be watched....closely.


"You know "
Posted by jbug on 01-07-13 at 02:40 PM
you have heard this....

The world needs less Kardashians and more George Strait.


"Things you never knew."
Posted by Estee on 03-28-13 at 01:29 PM
So if the media is to be believed, up until Kim came along, every pregnant woman in human history spent her entire term losing weight.

*sigh*

Punch a paparazzi or tabloid editor today. If you don't know why they deserve it, they do.


"RE: Things you never knew."
Posted by Snidget on 03-28-13 at 02:45 PM
Yeah, I do find the look how fat she is stuff quite old already.

Amazing what happens when you go off the starvation diet a lot of stars or famous for being infamous have to stay on 99% of the time just to fit into the clothes designers give them. Although it does seem she may have gained 9 months (or more) of weight before the belly even starts to show, which makes me worry a bit about her health rather than her looks. Especially what it is going to take when the people who get stars back to size 0 in 1-2 months get a hold of her. It can't be healthy.

I just which she'd wear something appropriate for her new body rather than still trying to squish it into inappropriately tight clothes that actually only make her look fatter than properly sized clothes would. But then again they say Kanye is dressing her...so tasteful and appropriate isn't going to happen.


"Phillip already grabbed the title."
Posted by Estee on 03-28-13 at 05:16 PM
http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/west-not-naming-cd-i-am-god-1034219.php

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Molaholic on 03-28-13 at 09:02 PM
I would reply to this but that would confirm that I actually give a rat's tookas about those major nut jobs (No, the OP is certainly NOT a nut job...)


Things could be worse. They could be forcing us to watch LOST


"Kanye reported to be cheating on Kim."
Posted by Estee on 06-14-13 at 11:23 AM
Quelle surprise.


"RE: Kanye reported to be cheating on Kim."
Posted by cahaya on 06-14-13 at 11:45 AM
And with a lady named Leyla Ghobadi? With a name like that, who could resist?

Lay la' Gobody.


"RE: Kanye reported to be cheating on Kim."
Posted by kingfish on 06-14-13 at 12:25 PM
Obviously it was Kim or her publicist reporting this, right?

Because, well, what's it been, 12 hours since she's been at the top if the Reality TV page?

Look at it from her angle, she's was getting edged down the page by the Bachelorette, of all people. It’s probably too soon to do another quick divorce bit, and she’s too pregnant to do the self-video taped sex bit again (although that might be a mistake, there may be more sex-with-pregnant-women fetish folks out there than she or her publicist thinks). She's pretty well reduced to the “He cheated on me” bit inorder to generate Kardashian buzz.

She had to do something, how dare that bitch try and steal her headlines!


"RE: Kanye reported to be cheating on Kim."
Posted by Snidget on 06-14-13 at 12:53 PM
Can't tell if they cooked it up to be in the press or someone else just needed some attention and circled these two to get some.

"Time for the weight loss companies to start bidding, she popped!"
Posted by Snidget on 06-15-13 at 04:51 PM
http://www.tmz.com/2013/06/15/kim-kardashian-gives-birth-baby-girl/

Am I bad for hoping the kidlet has a severe life-long phobia of being photographed or filmed?


"RE: Time for the weight loss companies to start bidding, she popped!"
Posted by Estee on 06-15-13 at 07:46 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-15-13 AT 07:47 PM (EST)

Personally, I'm just starting the countdown until Kanye officially walks out on them. Baby Mommas know no loyalty.


"RE: Time for the weight loss companies to start bidding, she popped!"
Posted by kidflash212 on 06-18-13 at 12:35 PM
"Am I bad for hoping the kidlet has a severe life-long phobia of being photographed or filmed?"

She came premature - maybe even she can't stand to be close to Kim anymore.


"Who's her daddy?"
Posted by Estee on 06-18-13 at 10:11 AM
Kerry Rhodes would like the world to believe it's him.

http://deadspin.com/report-kerry-rhodes-is-claiming-to-be-the-father-of-ki-513865411

Is it possible? Well, it's certainly possible that he could be trying for a piece of the DAW pie, financial or otherwise. As the article notes, he's been dealing with rumors that he's gay and 'Look who I knocked up!' might have felt like an effective counter. (It's weird how no one ever considers the possibility of anyone being bisexual, isn't it?) Or he could be suicidal and looking for Kayne to orchestrate a good old-fashioned drive-by rap war. I wouldn't put his odds there at zero.

Mama K is probably thinking pay-per-view live DNA test.

One of the happier women in the world today.


"Help!"
Posted by moonbaby on 06-18-13 at 01:30 PM
I read this and I don't know why!

"RE: Help!"
Posted by Estee on 06-18-13 at 01:36 PM
There's only one cure. You must never walk through a supermarket checkout again.

"Yipee!"
Posted by moonbaby on 06-18-13 at 02:39 PM
I don't like the supermarket! Hellooo peapod!

"RE: Yipee!"
Posted by kingfish on 06-18-13 at 07:32 PM
That's what the kids are calling it these days?

"RE: Yipee!"
Posted by cahaya on 06-18-13 at 08:41 PM
Whutevah!

"Baby's name is --"
Posted by Estee on 06-20-13 at 11:33 PM
-- North.

North West.

So.

Yeah.

*goes into corner and cries*


"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by cahaya on 06-20-13 at 11:38 PM
LAST EDITED ON 06-21-13 AT 11:40 PM (EST)

Well, it could have been worse, like Mid West.


"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by Snidget on 06-21-13 at 06:30 AM
LAST EDITED ON 06-21-13 AT 06:31 AM (EST)

At least it isn't Knorth.

Is the middle name Bynorth?


"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by kingfish on 06-21-13 at 08:42 AM
I like Snort.

Snerk?


"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by Brownroach on 06-21-13 at 11:29 PM
He/she (what sex is it? not that I care) will grow up to fly cropdusters where there are no crops.

"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by tribephyl on 06-21-13 at 03:36 PM
In an unprecedented multinational effort... Washington, Oregon, Idaho and British Columbia sign on as plaintiffs a in lawsuit claiming defamation of directionals.

"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by Molaholic on 06-21-13 at 05:14 PM
Maybe she'll grow up and marry somebody named Korea.

"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by cahaya on 06-21-13 at 05:21 PM
Well, a lot of people pronounce "Northwest" like "Nor-west".

And Nor is an common Arabic name for girls, meaning "light".


"RE: Baby's name is --"
Posted by Brownroach on 06-21-13 at 11:23 PM
And I am So. yawning.

"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Puffy on 06-23-13 at 12:01 PM
All the weathermen on TV have been talking about her.


Ready for it? The nickname is "Nori." It seems the "No" part stands for "Noel," Kim's middle name and the "ri" part stands for "Omari," Kanye's middle name.

Yawn.


"RE: Top Ten Reactions to the Kardashian/West pregnancy."
Posted by Snidget on 06-23-13 at 02:03 PM
There is no, um, like, um, you know, um, weather to be reporting on?