First uncle Odyseus, and now... I don't know why I keep meeting these people, but I met another the other day. As I was headed for my virtual car in the virtual bar parking lot, I ran into him. I could not see his face, but he was smoking a cigarette and spoke in a deep crackly voice.

"They are here... amongst us,” he said.

"Who", I asked.

"Them..."

"Them?"

"Imposters... they are here"

At this point, I must say that I though perhaps I had run into poor uncle Odyseus again, but this virtual cigarette man scared me in a way the poor uncle never could, so... I stayed and listened.

His voice crackled and he said, "Listen young cowboy... and I might be able to help you... all of you... there are imposters amongst us..."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Someone is not who they claim to be...", he said in a terrifying whisper.

I smiled when he said that and confidently stated, "Oh... your talking about shakes ... everyone already knows that."

At this point I was ready to go... I had been drinking BluMists, beer, wine, and "Swamp Coolers" until I felt I would be lucky to stand much less to talk with him much longer. So as I proceeded to stumble toward my car, I was stopped with what can only be described as a 'chill'. I felt as if I could not move, and yet felt nothing restraining me either... and I was so very very cold. The cigarette man was nowhere to be seen now, but a low hissing sound was just audible. I tried to crane my neck, and my eyes darted back and forth looking, searching... and then I heard him again... the voice was chilling and although I could no longer see him the smoking man's voice echoed through the air, and chilled me to the bone.

"NO... cowboy... not him..." he began. "There are those amongst us... not human... evil doers of the highest order..."

I shivered as he spoke and yet could not move...

"They have come... to spy on us... extract information for their Masters..."

I mustered up all of my strength... and attempted to speak, and then I saw him again he approached until he was standing in front of me... the hissing was louder and his breath atrocious... and I still could not make out who it was...

He proceeded in a low tone so barely audible if he was any further away I wouldn't have been able to hear him. "They come posing as friends... but really... server masters so.. so... VILE... and so disgusting that..."

I tried to tell him... I tried to speak.. my head spinning... my stomach queasy...

A sinister crackling whisper, and this is what he said. "Beware of the bar... beware of the psychologists... beware of kis..."

At this point I could do nothing my stomach heaved and I passed out, at (and on) his feet.

I awoke several hours/minutes later... lying in my own <omits offense visual picture> (with much empathy for a certain soon to be millionaire). I wondered if it was a dream, or if maybe it was the "Swamp Cooler". I wondered if I should tell anyone, but as I felt bad in more ways than one... I decided that there was certainly some kind of warning I needed to make. So... If it did happen please beware of scary people in parking lots. If it didn't... "JUST SAY NO" to "Swamp Coolers" or icecat being the barkeep for that matter.

As for me I'll see you in the bar... I hear someone has some really neat quiz questions

-ICB (aka Mr. 4S’s)

• RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,IceCat, 00:14 AM, 05-01-01
• RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,Monkeyboy, 00:31 AM, 05-01-01
  • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,IceCat, 02:09 AM, 05-01-01
• RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,Kismet, 07:10 AM, 05-01-01
  • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,BluSavana, 10:30 AM, 05-01-01
• RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,moonbaby, 12:16 PM, 05-01-01
• RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,Drive My Car, 01:14 PM, 05-01-01
  • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,George Tirebiter, 01:55 PM, 05-01-01
    • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,mistofleas, 02:50 PM, 05-01-01
      • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,Drive My Car, 04:02 PM, 05-01-01
        • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,mistofleas, 04:13 PM, 05-01-01
  • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,idiotcowboy, 04:47 PM, 05-01-01
    • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,Drive My Car, 07:56 PM, 05-01-01
    • RE: The Tale of Virtual Cigarette Man,desert_rhino, 08:35 PM, 05-01-01

> At this point I was ready to go... I had been drinking
> BluMists, beer, wine, and "Swamp Coolers"

As acting barkeep on the night that is apparently in question... and as the inventor of the 'IcyBluMist'... I, hereby, officially request that you remember to include the 'Icy' part of the 'IcyBluMist'.

Thank you, in advance, for your attention in this matter.

Wow!
I had nearly the same experience leaving the bar Friday night...
...except he called himself "the Walking Man'. He had dark red eyes, but focused on me like a snake.
It was indeed chilling!
I'm telling you, Icecat was putting something weird in those Swamp Coolers, like one of those mescal worms...or worse!
I hope I never feel that cold chill on my neck again!

You guys didn't smoke the spanish moss garnish on the Swamp Coolers did you? Tsk tsk!

OMG <click> ROFL ICB! I can't believe someone would dare to besmirch my good name! Fortunately, I have the cure for those terrible ICYBluMist hangovers. Please just look closely at the chopper.

Good! Now relax and breathe deeply...

You will answer the following questions truthfully:

What is your favorite color? Give me three words to describe why you like it.. Excellent

Now what is your favorite animal? Give me three words to describe why you like it. Good, good, relax....

Now I want you to imagine you are on a boat sailing out to sea. You fall overboard unnoticed. You can see a shoreline in the distance but despite your best efforts you never seem to get any closer. Give me three words that describe how you are feeling.

If you answered these before please put your original answers here. I will explain everything on Wednesday night.

When I snap my fingers you will no longer remember this. You will have a strange urge to write a column for the news guide. Throughout the day, you will be drawn back to the SB message boards where you will post erratically.

<SNAP>

heh, I miss the coolest things when I decide to go to sleep. It's just the lure of those sheep jumping fenceposts, one looking like Amber, going MEeeeeeEEEEEhhhh at me. Its just makes my mind go blank and my eyes droop. BluHaHa

Stop eye-balling me Recruit Lemon!

I repeat, I am NOT Mark Burnett!

Could this be a clue?
Is this IdiotCowboy's way of telling us that he is IN FACT, Colby himself?
Imposter, that serves a vile evil master?

This should be on the spoiler board.
Fess up Cowboy ( I mean Colby)
Tell us.

EBug
(who is desperately trying to remember if she was ever mean to Colby, oops, I mean Cowboy)

LAST EDITED ON 05-01-01 AT 02:00 PM (EST)

Oooooh--I miss so much when I stay mired in the 60s!

As for idjut being Colby: I'm afraid he comes off too ejicated to be so. . .

. . . but thanks for starting my day with a new dose of paranoia! (and not even a buzz to justify it. . . gee. . .)

GT

Edited to add: If that moss is blue--stay away, or you'll be alienated for sure!

GT, you make me laugh. I read your post and for some reason started seeing Colby as this hick guy with a worn out straw hat, missing a couple of front teeth (now that would be a miricle), barefoot and wearing overalls, saying "I be the most edjamacated in ma family." Dont' know why, but it made me laugh big time.

Now if you'll please excuse me I believe it's time for my medication again.

mistofleas

Misto!, that's notColby you're thinking of, that's George W. Bush

EBug

I knew it!! I knew that voice I was hearing sounded familiar
Thanks for clearing that one up for me Ebug! George W. Man, I can't believe I missed that one!

mistofleas

*hum... how do I respond to this...*

*if I was Colby, and I admitted who I am.... everyone would trash me just like they did Sean... not to mention MB would sue me, and my mama...*

*if I am not Colby, and I admit who I'm not.... everyone would call me an imposter... and all the women would stop e-mailing me dirty pictures of themselves...*

*if I admit nothing... and let them think what they want... hum...*

No comment.

-ICB

I am sorry to put you in such a dilema Cowboy (notice ebug kissing up just in case).
I don't really think you are Colby (never did) Just thought it would be funny to tease you a bit. So everyone continue to be nice to Cowboy, and ladies keep sending those revealing photos to him (did you get mine yet?)
And perhaps after the show is over the real Survivors from S2 will visit us, (just not if you all keep being so mean to them)

Sorry Cowboy, just playing with you

EBug

>women would stop e-mailing me dirty pictures of themselves...*

Dude, you haven't been checking your email that closely, have you? Or maybe you just didn't like *my* photo? {laughter}

-- JV

OMG! {click} It's so SOFT and CUDDLY!!