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Original Message
"TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"

Posted by Devious Weasel on 01-29-09 at 12:14 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-30-09 AT 09:02 AM (EST)

Edited to bump the sign-up date out a few days.

My weaselhood was insulted on another thread, and to redeem my honor, I am posting the TAR 14 Summary Sign-up Post. And now, some absolutely original writing, not taken from anyone anywhere. Really. I mean it.

1. We have sixteen contestants. This should mean that we're back to a standard thirteen episodes plus the Reunion, giving us fourteen total summary slots. (Whoever gets the finale takes the summary up until the announcement of the winner and first reaction shots: the Reunion transcriber takes over from there.) The mandatory Recrap episode is traditionally not summarized unless the moderators really need a punishment detail. Assuming a standard two-non-elims, we have 11 spots available.

2. In order to write a Survivor TAR summary, you must have completed a summary for any other show first. No total rookies, please: we need you to have taken a swing at someone and incurred at least one lawsuit. (The exception is the Recrap. If anyone for some deity-forsaken reason wants it, just say so. I'm sure your estate will understand. By the way, this has never happened of anyone's own free will.)

3. After the episode airs, the summarizer has to compile a version of the events filled with hate, disgust, complete contempt, and as much snark as they can personally stand, then let the public bask in their venom. (Again, looking at the current contestant group, this shouldn't be a problem.) Summaries are posted in the Bashers forum and must go up within 72 hours of the episode's airtime. Any resemblance between the summary and the actual show should be at least vaguely coincidental, for a really generous definition of 'vague'. As a general guideline, it helps if we can at least spot who was voted out.

4. Anyone interested in writing a summary must apply on this thread: just reply to the post. If you have any dates which you cannot work with, let everyone know in advance: we'll (the imperial 'we'll') try to accommodate people if we can. The season premieres on 2/12 02/15/09, so you must sign up by 11:59 p.m. EST on February 3rd wait – let’s stick with that 3rd 8th to be considered.

5. Should there be more writers than summary slots, one of the moderators will conduct a random draw to see who gets the episodes.

Racers ready? Go!

Yea, I couldn't think of what Phil says at the start. So sue me.


Table of contents
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 12:15 PM, 01-29-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Max Headroom, 12:46 PM, 01-29-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,J Slice, 03:49 PM, 01-29-09
    • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 04:11 PM, 01-29-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Bebo, 08:20 AM, 01-30-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,dajaki, 01:21 PM, 01-30-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Molaholic, 03:31 PM, 01-30-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Snidget, 08:01 AM, 02-03-09
    • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 09:22 AM, 02-03-09
      • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Snidget, 09:34 AM, 02-03-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,samboohoo, 09:47 AM, 02-03-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,ARnutz, 07:19 AM, 02-04-09
  • Alternate.,Max Headroom, 07:58 AM, 02-04-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Breezy, 09:01 AM, 02-05-09
    • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 09:11 AM, 02-05-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Seana, 09:51 AM, 02-05-09
    • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 09:55 AM, 02-05-09
  • Time For The Judges' Decisions,Devious Weasel, 10:01 AM, 02-05-09
    • RE: Time For The Judges' Decisions,samboohoo, 10:24 AM, 02-05-09
    • taps foot....,Molaholic, 09:58 AM, 02-09-09
  • Schedule,Devious Weasel, 10:57 AM, 02-09-09
    • RE: Schedule,samboohoo, 11:01 AM, 02-09-09
      • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 01:02 PM, 02-09-09
        • RE: Schedule,Snidget, 01:20 PM, 02-09-09
    • RE: Schedule,Snidget, 12:26 PM, 02-09-09
      • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 12:59 PM, 02-09-09
      • RE: Schedule,samboohoo, 03:13 PM, 02-09-09
        • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 04:05 PM, 02-09-09
          • RE: Schedule,Snidget, 04:11 PM, 02-09-09
            • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 04:24 PM, 02-09-09
              • RE: Schedule,samboohoo, 08:45 AM, 02-10-09
              • RE: Schedule,Snidget, 08:47 AM, 02-10-09
                • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 09:05 AM, 02-10-09
                  • RE: Schedule,Snidget, 09:24 AM, 02-10-09
    • RE: Schedule,J Slice, 12:32 PM, 02-09-09
    • RE: Schedule,Molaholic, 03:42 PM, 02-09-09
      • RE: Schedule,Devious Weasel, 04:05 PM, 02-09-09
    • RE: Schedule,ARnutz, 09:00 AM, 02-11-09
    • RE: Schedule,dajaki, 12:31 PM, 02-13-09
    • RE: Schedule,frisky, 03:50 AM, 03-01-09
    • RE: Schedule,Seana, 09:35 PM, 03-01-09
  • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,vince3, 09:44 PM, 02-14-09
    • RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up,Devious Weasel, 00:00 AM, 02-15-09
  • RED ALERT! RED ALERT!,vince3, 06:13 PM, 04-24-09
    • RE: RED ALERT! RED ALERT!,samboohoo, 09:33 AM, 05-14-09
      • RE: RED ALERT! RED ALERT!,vince3, 05:23 PM, 05-14-09

Messages in this discussion
"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 01-29-09 at 12:15 PM
Me! Pick Me!

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Max Headroom on 01-29-09 at 12:46 PM
Thankfully I don't meet the criteria of point 2, so I can't sign up for a TAR or Survivor summary. That exemption makes it even more fun to heckle and goad Estee about signups.

But since Dweeze did the honorable thing and started this signup thread, I'll refrain from heckling and goading him. As someone who enjoys reading snarky summaries after watching the episodes, I appreciate your efforts, and the efforts of the summary writers.


"The world is waiting. Travel safe."
*raises eyebrow*
"Go!"


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by J Slice on 01-29-09 at 03:49 PM
I have not done this in years.

As such, I call total freaking dibs.

Please. PLEASE!

Slice <3 Dweezus.


I will write the summary while wearing a bikini. And drinking heavily.


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 01-29-09 at 04:11 PM
If I have any say at all in who gets to do this, you just got yourself a drunk, bikini-laden summary.

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Bebo on 01-30-09 at 08:20 AM
i rite gud plz pik mi


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by dajaki on 01-30-09 at 01:21 PM
me please

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Molaholic on 01-30-09 at 03:31 PM
I'll toss my hat into the ring.

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Snidget on 02-03-09 at 08:01 AM
Not sure what my May schedule looks like, yet, so I'd prefer something before May.

Please do not schedule me for 3/22, 4/5, or 4/26


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-03-09 at 09:22 AM
March 22, April 5, and April 26 it is. Thanks!

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Snidget on 02-03-09 at 09:34 AM
I might have to celebrate this holiday a bit early this year.

*adds Mayonnaise to grocery shopping list*


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-03-09 at 09:47 AM
I'll take one if needed. Also signed up for Survivor, so I would prefer different weeks.

Weeks of Feb. 22 and April 6 are good. The only bad week is week of March 2.

*smooches Agman*



"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by ARnutz on 02-04-09 at 07:19 AM
I can do March 15th episode if you need someone.

"Alternate."
Posted by Max Headroom on 02-04-09 at 07:58 AM
After all the flak I've given Estee recently, the least I can do is sign up for a TAR summary. Please list me as an alternate, since I haven't done an official summary before, but I'll take one if you don't have enough qualified volunteers.

If I end up with a summary, it can't be the Apr. 5th episode.


Headbanger by IceCat, siggie by agman


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Breezy on 02-05-09 at 09:01 AM
Do I have to sign up here too?

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-05-09 at 09:11 AM
I think you just did...

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Seana on 02-05-09 at 09:51 AM
*raises hand*

I didn't do one last season and wished I had. Please sign me up. However! If there are more names than needed, please let someone else have a go instead.


Snowiness by tribe


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-05-09 at 09:55 AM
Sorry. You're in!

"Time For The Judges' Decisions"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-05-09 at 10:01 AM
Okay, Dweeze, Slice, Bebo, Dajaki, Mohalic, Snidge, Boo, Nutz, Breezy, Frisky, and Seana, all of you step forward. Everyone else, step back.

*dramatic pause*

Front row, you’re through to the next round. Congratulations. I’ll get a draft schedule up by the end of the day tomorrow.


"RE: Time For The Judges' Decisions"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-05-09 at 10:24 AM
Darn, this whole bathing suit thing really does work.

*smooches Agman*



"taps foot...."
Posted by Molaholic on 02-09-09 at 09:58 AM

"...by the end of the day tomorrow."

<irritated glare>



"Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 10:57 AM
LAST EDITED ON 02-13-09 AT 05:30 PM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 02-11-09 AT 11:58 AM (EST)

Here's a draft schedule. Let me know if this works, if not, I'll try to swap things around. I took the premiere because of the short notice, but will gladly swap it out if someone else wants it.

The only night I'm concerned about is February 22 - I don't know if CBS will pre-empt because of the Oscar telecast on ABC. As a result, I went with both episodes and dates. If TAR is pre-empted on the 22nd, it will push everything else back. Let me know as well if that would create a problem. (Names in bold have agreed to the date.)

#1 02/15/09 – Dweeze
#2 02/22/09 – samboohoo
#3 03/01/09 – Breezy
#4 03/08/09 – Frisky
#5 03/15/09 – ARnutz
#6 03/22/09 - Seana
#7 03/29/09 - dajaki
04/05/09 - NO TAR (per Snidge)
#8 04/12/09 - Slice
#9 04/19/09 - Snidget
#10 04/26/09 - Bebo
#11 05/03/09 - Molaholic


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-09-09 at 11:01 AM
TV Guide shows a new TAR, but a repeat Cold Case, so I think we're good. Thanks.

This now answers my question on whether to take a vacation that week.

Oscars? Who watches the darn Oscars anyway?

*smooches Agman*



"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 01:02 PM
Good to know, although now I'm curious. They wouldn't actually end TAR before Sweeps, would they?

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Snidget on 02-09-09 at 01:20 PM
http://www.thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?date=04/05/09

Futon critic does listings several months out, but sometimes things change..

4/5 no TAR from the country music awards.


That makes the season finale on May 3rd for Sweeps.


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Snidget on 02-09-09 at 12:26 PM
*squints eyes*

So this is where you are going to tell me to cowduck up, huh?

I've got the TAR summary right off of doing the Survivor summary?

Egads, do you know what that much DAW exposure in one week will do.

*whimpers*


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 12:59 PM
I didn't look at that schedule. If you want to swap this week for that week, I'm game.

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-09-09 at 03:13 PM
Cowduck up! I have the same schedule.

*smooches Agman*



"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 04:05 PM
Would it help for you two to switch?

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Snidget on 02-09-09 at 04:11 PM
Well it is good for the S2 T3 person as there is over a week between them.

Doing T2 followed right by S3 a couple days later is about the same as doing S2T2 or S3T3


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 04:24 PM
What if I swap Boo and Breezy and you and Frisky?

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by samboohoo on 02-10-09 at 08:45 AM
I'm okay - The rhythm might be good for me. Plus, I'm only working half day on the 23rd, which gives me time to get it done. I was just trying to toughen Snidget up.

*smooches Agman*



"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Snidget on 02-10-09 at 08:47 AM
If Frisky is up for the swap that should work for me.

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-10-09 at 09:05 AM
I don't believe Frisky has weighed in yet, so...

Swapped!


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Snidget on 02-10-09 at 09:24 AM
Works for me!


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by J Slice on 02-09-09 at 12:32 PM
Works for me, Dweezus.


I do it all the different ways.


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Molaholic on 02-09-09 at 03:42 PM
so giving the evil glare garners one the Finale -- thanks. Should be easy-peasy (and who knows, maybe it'll be full of inept taxi drivers and devious weasel-type interferance from helpful natives!)

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-09-09 at 04:05 PM
That may not work on Estee...

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by ARnutz on 02-11-09 at 09:00 AM
Confirming for 3/15

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by dajaki on 02-13-09 at 12:31 PM
Confirming - See ya 3/29!

"RE: Schedule"
Posted by frisky on 03-01-09 at 03:50 AM
March 8, got it!


Perpetual *headbutt* compliments of Rolly.


"RE: Schedule"
Posted by Seana on 03-01-09 at 09:35 PM
LAST EDITED ON 03-11-09 AT 01:20 PM (EST)

As no-one else seems to want to swap, I'll confirm for the 22nd. Unless it's pre-empted. In which case, would I be the 29th?

Edit to say that I now understand about February 22 not being March 22. Thank-you for your patience. Re-confirming for March 22, 2009.


"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by vince3 on 02-14-09 at 09:44 PM
Dweeze, are you sure there's only 11 episodes? Because I looked at CBS.com's TAR page, and they have the route mapped out, and it looks like there are 12 legs.........

"RE: TAR 14 Summary Sign-Up"
Posted by Devious Weasel on 02-15-09 at 00:00 AM
Futon Critic shows 11 eps, but that map on CBS does look like 12 pitstops. If it's twelve, we must have a third non-elim in there someplace (or a return of the extra-long leg - nope, couldn't be that because if it's an extra-long leg, there's no pitstop). We'll see how it goes - MattBen had said he would do a TAR, so if there are 12 I'll ask him.

"RED ALERT! RED ALERT!"
Posted by vince3 on 04-24-09 at 06:13 PM
Dweeze, you now definitely need another writer.

I just checked TV Guide.com for next Sunday's episode description, and it said that that would be the penultimate episode!

If nobody steps up, I'm willing to take it. But only if I complete my own summary assignment this week (wish me luck, I have to go through hell for a great payoff.....)


"RE: RED ALERT! RED ALERT!"
Posted by samboohoo on 05-14-09 at 09:33 AM
Are you doing the Finale?


Samboobree, brought to life by Arkie



"RE: RED ALERT! RED ALERT!"
Posted by vince3 on 05-14-09 at 05:23 PM
Honestly, I don't think I deserve to do it. I said that I'd do it if I completed my Survivor summary on time........

Obviously, I haven't done that.