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Original Message
"Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-13-12 at 10:38 AM
LAST EDITED ON 01-13-12 AT 10:52 AM (EST)

Let's talk about synthetic comforters.

During World War II, shortly after Germany successfully took France, the German army command discovered a new major cause of death among its soldiers. Not French resistance fighters: it was a problem, but it wasn't at the top of the scale. Not falling into old trenches. Not being slapped to death by the locals after refusal to repronounce a word eighty-five times.

Venereal disease.

Some businesses boom in wartime, and few see increased traffic like cathouses do. And local standards of health, medical technology, and condom use being what they were, the proud German soldier was marching back to camp bearing a local French vintage in his blood which couldn't be slept off, although they were rapidly proving it was very easy to sleep on. And these diseases were spreading through the troops faster than rumors of a political officer interrogation. Soldiers were missing shifts. Falling down on the job. Sometimes falling dead on the job. You'd think more of them would have turned themselves over to the medical corps when everything went south, but to do so would have meant diagnosis, and that leads to 'There's only one way you can get this', and then you have to explain just how you managed to sneak home for an overnight visit and found out that your good German girl wasn't. Several hundred infantry trying to ride that excuse don't do well, even if it turns out to be the same girl. So if the soldiers went for help, it was often to back-alley medics, which for some of them helped and for others just gave the French resistance one more striking point. And others said nothing -- and some of them died.

The German high command, having identified the problem, frequently in post-mortem, tried to fix it.

They ordered the troops not to use cathouses, street trade, or any other local form of wildlife. This worked exactly as well as it has throughout military history: not.

They tried getting soldiers to keep an eye on each other, even more so than usual. This led to a few turn-ins and lots of buddy systems.

And then they turned to their leader. And as they would have expected, the Fuhrer knew what to do. He introduced them to --

-- drumroll, please --

-- The Borghild Project.

And what did the Project do? It developed synthetic comforters. The German scientists turned their attention to this clear need and came up with something durable, portable, extremely foldable and, just to keep things within the designated framework of acceptability, blue-eyed and blonde-haired.

Yes, thanks to the genius of the Fuhrer: the solution had been made clear. All this crisis had needed for a solution was the creation of the first-ever official military commissioned blow-up doll.

Naturally, there was a testing phase, performed in the field. All went well. The synthetic comforters worked. They were durable, portable, extremely foldable, and not French in any way. So the soldiers assigned to test the comforters reported.

You may be wondering about how the testing was conducted and observed. Continue doing so.

At any rate, once the synthetic comforters had proven viable, they were officially issued. It wasn't one per troop, of course: they still weighed something and you don't want every backpack losing that much space. No, a few soldiers could carry for all. The medical corps, perhaps. Sure, why not? Relief of pressure fell into the medical category. Just approach your friendly neighborhood doctor and he'd lend you a companion for the evening. Relief assured! Not privacy because comforter use was official military business and records had to be kept, but certainly relief! Oh, and please clean the comforter after use: there may be a line.

Or, in this case, not.

As it turned out, the soldiers at the test had used the comforters for the simplest of reasons: they had been ordered to. The average German troop in the field -- did not. In fact, they refused to even carry the things. Comforters were mysteriously lost, or found themselves strangely wandering into minefield, and some just saved themselves the trouble of an excuse by forgetting to file the requisition form. And the excuse was simple. Death was possible for a soldier, sometimes even likely. But so was capture. And when you were facing capture by the Allies with a synthetic comforter in your backpack, death started to look like the better option. As a man, the German infantry simul-rejected the miraculous advance in science, and went back to playing venereal disease roulette. It might be deadlier, but that kind of death was better than an existence where you were forced into wishing for it. By 1942, the project had died, as had a number of project-refusing soldiers, and the German high command sighed and turned its attention to other problems.

But there was a legacy.

You see, any time you let a bit of new technology out of the bottle, it's kind of hard to get back in. The Germans had come up with synthetic comforters: that tech was out there. And the idea survived the war. Even if soldiers wouldn't carry them in public, some of the citizenry would use them in the privacy of their postwar homes, which incidentally did put a very tiny dent in the venereal disease statistics. So synthetic comforters were made in many different sizes and styles, although as it was still Germany, many of them tended to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed. The country got to be very good at it. In fact, they were so good at molding faces and body types that the designs were often stolen, sometimes by rival companies in the synthetic comforter field, but occasionally for other purposes.

And so one day in the mid-50s, a designer looking for a new product to launch sought a fresh source of inspiration: the German synthetic comforter field, where surely a design lurked that could be stolen and adapted for a considerably different audience.

The designer was right. An acceptable style was found. Molded into something solid. Released to the market. And that product survives to this day -- no, thrives. Millions upon millions have been sold. The creation is a cultural icon, classic Americana, present in almost every field of media. You've probably owned one -- or your sister has.

So remember, kids: if it hadn't been for German soldiers contracting syphilis and the Fuhrer's innovative attempt to preserve his troops --

-- there would be no Barbie.

And now we wait to hear how many people just raided their daughter's rooms and started setting things on fire.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by suzzee on 01-13-12 at 10:46 AM
You need to write history books for high schools. There would be a "gratifying" increase in history grades. It could be history/sex education credits.

I want in on it.

My Barbies never spoke with a German accent but they sure were sturdy.



A Tribe masterpiece


"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by cahaya on 01-13-12 at 11:03 AM

This project was classified ”Geheime Reichssache”, being ”more secret than top secret”. The Dresden bombings destroyed the evidence.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-13-12 at 11:06 AM
*looks at carefully-placed Obama pin*

How many Nazis did you just insult by calling them Democrats?

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by cahaya on 01-13-12 at 11:30 AM
How many Nazis did you just insult by calling them Democrats?

Make that Christian Democrats.

It makes you wonder how much of that $1 trillion Afghanistan-Iraq war money went into a top-secret program for supplying Roxxxy's for our own troops.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 05:32 PM
How many Nazis did you just insult by calling them Democrats?

None. Now you know why the Nazi Party was actually called the National Socialist Party.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-13-12 at 06:49 PM
Religious Reich says what?
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 08:36 PM
What ever happened to Nazi Göring?
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by cahaya on 01-14-12 at 00:03 AM
Widely popular in SE Asia, including Malaysia and my own household. Literally translated as 'fried rice', it can be prepared 101 different ways depending on what type of meat, seafood and veggies you put in (beef, chicken, shrimp, pick your veggies). The Hot meter will vary from place to place, but the best variety has a touch of locally produced chili paste in it.
"Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 01-14-12 at 01:52 PM
Don't mind me if I turn this threadjack into an extra credit OTCC recipe... wondering how you might improve or change this recipe to make it even better and/or more authentic to the region? I'm thinking of making this tomorrow night!

Copying from AyaK's link:


Nasi Goring

You've probably enjoyed one-dish rice dishes like arroz con pollo, paella or risotto.

Nasi Goreng (which means fried rice in Indonesian) is a bit more unusual than these other dishes.

Spicy and full of bright flavors, but also hearty and satisfying, this dish is just the thing to pick you up on a chilly night.

In Indonesia the taste can differ dramatically depending upon the region and the proximity to the ocean. This adaptation that will perk up any cook's culinary repertoire. What makes this a Seriously Simple dish is that all of the preparation is done ahead.

For the best result, the rice should be allowed to cool to room temperature before making the dish. So keep that in mind and plan ahead. If the rice is warm, it will become oily when stir-fried.

The cooking will go quickly, so it's essential to have all of the ingredients prepared and ready. That way the dish takes just a few minutes to put together. I recommend using serrano chilies, but any small, hot, flavorful chili (such as jalapenos or Thai chilies) will work well. Avoid Scotch Bonnet or Habenero chilies unless you like your food extremely hot and spicy. Roasted peanuts may not be authentic, but their addition as a garnish looks pretty and tastes delicious!

Help is on the Way

--Long grain rice, which comes out fluffier and is less sticky than other types of rice and is best for fried rice dishes.

--If you like egg: scramble 2 eggs separately and add to the rice in the final stage of cooking.

--The shrimp and vegetables should be cooked separately and added in the final stage of cooking.

--If you want to remove some of the heat, discard the chili seeds that contain most of the heat.

--Advance Preparation: This may be prepared through step 1 up to 8 hours ahead. Have all ingredients chopped.

--When working with chilies, always wear rubber gloves. Wash the cutting surface and knife right afterward.

Nasi Goreng with Shrimp (Indonesian-style Fried Rice)

Serves 4 to 6

Ingredients

3 cups water
1 1/2 cups long grain rice
1/4 cup peanut oil
3 carrots, peeled and diced
1/2 pound mushrooms, cleaned and diced
1 red pepper, seeded and diced
1 pound peeled and deveined shrimp, cut into 1-inch pieces
3 scallions, white and light green parts, finely chopped
3 shallots, peeled and thinly sliced
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon minced ginger
2 small green or red chilies, seeded and finely chopped
1 teaspoon paprika
2 tablespoons tomato ketchup
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1/4 pound fresh bean sprouts (about 2 cups)

For Garnish

1/4 cup peeled, seeded and diced cucumber
1/2 cup roasted shelled peanuts

Preparation

1. At least 3 hours before preparing: In a large saucepan with a lid, heat the water on medium-high heat until boiling.

Add the rice and turn down the heat to medium-low, cover and simmer for about 20 minutes or until the rice is cooked and the water is absorbed.

Remove from the heat and transfer the rice to a large cookie sheet or strip of wax paper to cool, separating any clumps of rice.

Let cool to room temperature.

2. Heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in a large wok on high heat.

When the oil is hot and almost smoking, add the carrots, mushrooms and red pepper, and stir-fry for about 1 minute or until slightly softened.

Add the shrimp and scallion, and toss every 15-20 seconds for 1-2 minutes or until the shrimp just turns pink.

Remove the vegetables and shrimp to a side bowl and reserve.

3. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of oil to the wok.

When the oil is very hot and almost smoking, stir-fry the shallots for about 1-2 minutes or until lightly browned.

Add the garlic, ginger and chilies, and toss for about 30 more seconds or until they are aromatic.

4. Add the rice and spread it all around and halfway up the sides of the wok.

Let the rice cook about 10 seconds and then toss to combine and coat the ingredients.

Add the paprika, ketchup and soy sauce, and toss to blend.

Add the reserved vegetables and shrimp and toss again, making sure to evenly distribute the ingredients.

Add the bean sprouts and toss once more.

Taste for seasoning.

Transfer the ingredients to a large serving bowl or platter and garnish with the cucumber and peanuts.

Serve immediately.

"RE: Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by cahaya on 01-15-12 at 02:34 AM
That? actually looks like a delicious recipe!

You can substitute another oil for peanut oil, but peanut oil and palm oil are both widely used in S.E. Asia. I'd skip the ketchup, but some people like it (like DS). Often the chilis will be seeded and then put in a blender to chop them finely. As for the long-grain rice, Basmati rice has the best flavor for this dish.

"RE: Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 01-18-12 at 02:17 AM
Yeah, I ended up using regular oil and well-minced peanut bits - no, not the same thing as peanut oil but it added a bit of peanutty flavour. Since I was cooking for 9 people, including three who wouldn't touch shrimp, I ended up cooking in two shifts -- two-thirds with both shrimp and chicken in it and one-third with chicken only. I doubled the rice, most of the spices and added a whole yellow pepper and green pepper in addition to the red pepper to fill up on veggies. I didn't bother getting a green or red chile, but I did buy a Chinese chili-garlic sauce. As for the rice, I was one step ahead of you as basmati is the rice of choice in the household. The biggest difficulty was to fit the 2/3 portion into one wok as it was filled nearly to the brim.

It turned out to be a huge hit with everyone - I initially thought I had made way too much, but it was completely gobbled up by all, with several having two servings.

Here's the result...

"RE: Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by AyaK on 01-18-12 at 01:55 PM
OK, Pepe, you've inspired me. I'll make it this week and let you know how it turned out.
"RE: Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by qwertypie on 08-25-12 at 10:07 AM
This looks great!
"RE: Hey Cahaya!"
Posted by cahaya on 08-25-12 at 11:50 AM
You bumper, you.

Saya mahu masak nasi goreng dengan sama semua orang di sini! Masak dan makan, sedapnya!

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by newsomewayne on 01-13-12 at 11:16 AM
Do you know if that photo was taken before or after Mr. Daly resigned as Chief of Staff?


Paid for by AgPAC, a 2008 registered 527 organization.
"We will eventually pay for it, but we can argue about that later.” – Senator Mary Landrieu (D-LA.)

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-13-12 at 11:23 AM
So how many miniaturized Nazi sex toys have you bought for your family?

*smiles sweetly*

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by newsomewayne on 01-16-12 at 09:49 AM
Honestly, I'm not sure. I know she has a couple, but Barbies aren't her main thing. She likes the American Girls, mostly. And Groovy Girls.

And her favorite Christmas present, a $5 stuffed dolphin from Kohl's that soon had a sock stuffed over her tail and became Winter from Dolphin Tale.



Black Friday expectations delivered by Agman, 2011

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-16-12 at 11:41 AM
And then the box becomes the aquarium's arena, and you get some other boxes for the audience to sit in, followed by punching out a box for a hoop...

(I never saw the movie. How was it?)

At a guess, the Monster High items aren't too far away.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 11:31 AM
LAST EDITED ON 01-13-12 AT 11:35 AM (EST)

The NY Daily News had a story on this in July 2011:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/adolf-hitler-ordered-blonde-sex-dolls-soldiers-french-prostitutes-report-article-1.159096

Edited to add: Here's the Barbie link

http://kontraplan.com/site/2011/09/27/hitlers-borghild-project/

Americans, Ruth and Elliot Handler, discovered a version of the doll being sold in barbershops and nightclubs while visiting Germany in 1956. Ruth purchased one of these dolls, realizing only later it was a gag gift for men. Her husband, who was the co-founder of the toy empire Mattel, did find some use for the doll. He used it as the foundation for what would become the Barbie Doll.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Estee on 01-13-12 at 01:38 PM
I said it was a true story.
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by cahaya on 01-13-12 at 04:40 PM
Even so, I check it out anyway.

There's always more than one slant to a story.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Brownroach on 01-13-12 at 04:34 PM
If only Mel Brooks had known, he could have incorporated them into the "Springtime for Hitler" number.
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by agman on 01-16-12 at 11:32 AM
HE would have had a blast with that info.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by Max Headroom on 01-13-12 at 12:21 PM
No worries about creeping Naziism here-- DD hates Barbies and refuses to play with dolls.

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by agman on 01-16-12 at 11:34 AM
My daughter was the same way.


sculpted by Tribe

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by kingfish on 01-13-12 at 05:16 PM
Ok girls and boys who like boys, gather around the campfire for the story of the Ken doll...
"Ken"
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 05:24 PM
http://www.nytimes.com/1985/03/10/arts/eddie-murphy-s-comic-touch.html

Eddie Murphy: Check out Ken's pink shirt, all right? Check out the way he combs his hair. And look at his posture. Moms and Dads, unless you want your sons to live in the 'Village' and skip to work, keep them as far away from Ken as possible, all right?

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by VisionQuest on 01-13-12 at 09:48 PM
Was it named after Klaus?

"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 09:59 PM
I'd love to be able to answer thaqt question with a "Yes", just to complete the link between Barbie dolls and the Nazis through Klaus Barbie, but the doll was actually named after the Handlers' daughter Barbara.
"RE: Oh, those wacky Nazis! (A true story.) "
Posted by VisionQuest on 01-13-12 at 10:22 PM
Darn it, I was really hoping for that. It would have just captured the moment so nicely whilst telling this story.



Thank you Capn2patch


"At the Barbie Museum..."
Posted by newsomewayne on 01-16-12 at 09:53 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py2tAkW9WCU


Black Friday expectations delivered by Agman, 2011

"Raining on the Barbie parade"
Posted by AyaK on 01-13-12 at 10:21 PM
LAST EDITED ON 01-13-12 AT 10:22 PM (EST)

Consistent with the discussion about intellectual property in the SOPA/PIPA thread, I decided that I should present the counter-theory about Barbie's origins.

There are a lot of people who think the Handlers' story about basing their Mattel doll on the sex toy is absolute bunk. Instead, they believe that the Handlers based their doll on the Bild Lili doll, which was a doll version of a newspaper cartoon character created in 1950 (so without any Nazi link). Here is a picture of a 1955 Bild Lili doll:

http://www.makingthemodernworld.org.uk/everyday_life/leisure/1939-1968/TL.0022/

Mattel had profited by linking with Disney to produce "fad" products based on Disney's new TV ventures, such as The Mickey Mouse Club. But its owners needed soething successful to pour their cash into before their fad hits dried up. That's why the Handlers went to Europe in the late 1950s, as discussed earlier.

The U.S. licensee of the Bild Lili copyright sued Mattel for infringement in 1961 after Barbie (introduced in 1959) became a hit. In response, the Handlers told the story in their depositions about basing Barbie on the sex toy. However, the lawsuit evidence showed that Handler had also bought some Bild Lili dolls.

But the suit never came to trial on its merits. Using an agent, Mattel secretly bought most of the rights to distribute Bild Lili products in the U.S. (which had been split up), which undercut the lawsuit. When the case was dismissed, the German copyright holder then sold all of the rights to Bild Lili to Mattel for a fraction of their probable worth, and Mattel still owns them to this day.

Look at Bild Lili and tell me if you believe the Handler's story about Barbie being based on the sex toy.

"Barbie banned in Iran"
Posted by AyaK on 01-19-12 at 04:16 PM
Maybe she really is too much of a sex toy, at least to Iranian eyes.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/01/16/iran-cracks-down-on-barbie-plans-toys-of-captured-u-s-drone/