http://www.canoe.ca/Television/sep7_lovecruise-sun.html

Reality TV cruises for Love
Part Temptation Island, part Love Boat, Love Cruise finds 16 singles all aboard
By KEVIN WILLIAMSON
Calgary Sun
Forget those sissies forced to eat pig snout or bathe in maggots on Fear Factor.

Want tough?

Try being a single guy on a windjammer in the eastern Caribbean with eight attractive women -- and ALL OF THEM REJECT YOU.

Such is the fate of Michael, a 30-year-old, formerly rotund Jewish lawyer who boards Love Cruise, which airs Tuesday on Fox.

As he puts it: "Everyone ran from me like I had the Ebola virus."

Produced by the team behind The Real World -- which gets the credit, or blame, for weaning a generation of American teens on "reality television" for the past decade on MTV -- Love Cruise isn't as sleazy as Temptation Island, but still promises plenty of scantily-clad hotties being humiliated for envious TV viewers.

(Although the host is some bland specimen of game-show genetic engineering named Justin Gunn and not Charo, as I'd hoped.)

On Love Cruise, eight women and eight men must pair up, then compete in a series of challenges to test their compatibility as couples.

At the end of each show, someone gets voted off the ship, until the final two couples face a jury -- no surprise here, comprised of the rivals they've backstabbed and banished -- who will decide which of the two wins $200,000 and a trip around the world.

Of course, you need a date first.

Which brings us back to Michael, the sea dog that may never have his day.

Early on in the series premiere, after a session of speed-dating, the women pick a partner but, if more than one gal wants the same guy, he gets to select who he keeps.

Naturally, just as when kids get picked for baseball teams in schoolyards, the result is a morass of bruised egos and hurt feelings.

"There seems to be a lot of blondes with big boobs ... not that there's anything wrong with that," says the less-than-amply-chested Lisa, 32, who recalls being barked at by boys when she was eight because she was so ugly.

(Note to the ugly children of the world: Don't grow up to go on a reality-TV show based around romantic rejection.) Call me evil, but for the first 15 minutes anyway, Love Cruise floats.

It helps have a cast filled with a mix of self-deflating losers and glassy-eyed players such as Anthony, the tattooed aspiring screenwriter who rambles about "the depths of the ocean," and Toni, the blonde with the, ahem, obvious breast implants.

Eventually the show sinks under the weight of all the reality-TV cliches.

They should've went with Charo.

Guess who?

• RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,ItzLisa, 03:47 PM, 09-07-01
  • RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,dabo, 02:15 AM, 09-10-01
• RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,VampKira, 04:14 PM, 09-07-01
• RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,taginite, 00:36 AM, 09-10-01
• RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,MakeItStop, 11:59 AM, 09-10-01
  • RE: Another article on LC featuring who else.........me of course!,larman, 08:36 PM, 09-10-01
• The Flacks are Realing Chruning it Out!,SkyRaider, 11:29 PM, 09-10-01
  • RE: The Flacks are Realing Chruning it Out!,Loree, 05:05 PM, 09-20-01

LAST EDITED ON 09-07-01 AT 04:15 PM (EST)

Try being a single guy on a windjammer in the eastern Caribbean with eight attractive women -- and ALL OF THEM REJECT YOU....Such is the fate of Michael, a 30-year-old, formerly rotund Jewish lawyer who boards Love Cruise

*** Oh, just TELL us what happens, why don't you! Go ahead! Just go on and ruin the ending!!! I had weird, unspeakable fantasies about you hooking up with that scary Pop Eyed lady, Shakes! And now you tell us before it even airs that they boot your a.ss first?! I hope Fox sues you for breach of your confidentiality agreement - and yes, buster, I mean the whole entire $5 they paid you! No wonder we don't have a Spoilers board on this site - YOU keep telling us what happens, you glory-whore!

Seriously, I can't wait to see the show, and I hope Shakes knows I'm just kidding, and I'll be glued to the TV on September 11th! (Now go get me some nailpolish remover so I can unstick myself, you sick clown you!)

****************************************

(Who's secretly so PROUD of her little Clown!!!)

Oh, lololol, Itzhunny. Hadn't you heard? Shakes ends up with (deleted) and they live happily ever after torturing some canine on various internet sites.

"If the race of man should be left naked upon a desert island, we should become extinct in six weeks. A few individuals might linger, but in a year would become worse than monkeys." (Samuel Butler, "Erewhon")

*smoochies the clown*

"Come to me. Come to me because only I, and my like, can end the lonliness you feel." - The Vampire Lestat

Du ar min hjälte, Supermänniska

>>"Reality TV cruises for Love"<<

mikey, esq...sea dog-

clown.......poet........PROSTITUTE..

uh.....maybe u might wanna get a little serious *rest*

yano it'll be startin in few hours....

anthony dont call me toni...
ihateusomuchicantstandit.....666......EATSH!TANDIE.....666666

buy an extra vcr just in case.....

-iwood

Try being a single guy on a windjammer in the eastern Caribbean with eight attractive women -- and ALL OF THEM REJECT YOU.

Such is the fate of Michael, a 30-year-old, formerly rotund Jewish lawyer who boards Love Cruise, which airs Tuesday on Fox.

Oh Shakes, what have you done? Do you realize the abuse you are going to get? Is it really true that any attention, no matter how bad, is better than none?

Good luck to you!

OMG!!! It can not get any better than this! Shakes, I am anticipating your LIVE entertainment on this week's smorgasboard of tasty Reality TV morsels! It's bound to be the main entree just to feast our voyeur eyes on your entertainment LIVE. It's bound to be almost as good as the nights you kept us all on the edge of our seats when you made your appearance in the crowded Chat Room auditorium! Can not wait!!

Gator

Here's another one.....also quoting The Formerly Rotund Quotable One:

This is from Netscape's Entertainment News today...

"It wasn't all ugliness back in those cabins -- which, like much the rest of the Mandalay, were wired for sight and sound. ''I was shocked to see the way that everyone floated from one person to other,'' says Michael. ''Someone might be making out with someone on day one, and on day three they're having sex with someone else. There was quite a relay race going on.'' "

What? Shakes was shocked? How shocked was Shakes? (my tongue is getting twisted again)