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Original Message
"AI 11 Auditions #3: SUNDAY ECST"

Posted by Snidget on 01-22-12 at 10:27 PM
Programing note. The Little Snidget is turning into a pumpkin alarm has gone off, and I'll be lucky to stay awake long enough to see the end of football.

So this thresd is here for anyone staying up to watch a special Sunday Night 10 pm (or later) edition.


Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"Viewership dropping..."
Posted by Estee on 01-22-12 at 11:43 PM
...off to sleep. With work for most of the Eastern audience morning-looming, this could wind up being the lowest-rated AI episode in many seasons. I'll watch 'cause my hours are not those of most, but just watching that game wore me out.


"We are in..."
Posted by Estee on 01-22-12 at 11:59 PM
...San Diego.

On the deck of an aircraft carrier.

(Why? Because. Do not question the Faux patriotism of the network!)

So instead of rooting for someone to push Ryan into the Grand Canyon, now I just have to root for a giant deck gun to accidentally go off.

Ten thousand claimed auditioneers. No more than ten plants. And their collective hopes of having a career can be crammed into an average sleeping bunk with room left over for a tenth of Ryan's salary.

This -- is pointless!


""America's most elite team of judges.""
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:02 AM
Don't make me compare industry credentials to the FaceOff panel. Or better yet, do.

Danger Zone playing. Prepare for howled auditions. And that's just Steven's reactions to the underage females.


"Barely Wearing Anything Girl #1."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:06 AM
She directly says she's dressed to get votes from the mail judges.

Ryan makes her walk up the stairs twice. And stares twice. No one buys it.

She -- can sort of sing. Some melody, but no power. Two chances, no votes. Ryan makes a snide comment about the other angle. Some people buy that, but what they're purchasing is Ryan Is A Jerk in the usual economy release, which is one of the few times you can use the word 'economy' with Ryan until you hit his finances and add 'private'.

She goes off to Black's Beach. We wait for the show to pretend towards serious. On the deck of an aircraft carrier.

No wonder they wanted this one in the FOX null hour.


"RE: Barely Wearing Anything Girl #1."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 08:53 PM
With that outfit she either needed a lot more cute or way more voice.

"Ashley."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:12 AM
Single mother. Accounting. DJ. Whoever's hiring. Daughter is five, adorable, and wants to be on Nigel's other show. Poor daughter. The kid will get more frau votes than the mother.

Singing Whitney. Bodyguard. Throw the remote away so I don't hit mute on instinct. Can sing and even hits the warble in the verses, but I hate this song so much that I'm trying not to forfeit my potential vote on general principle.

Randy loves her. Billions of yeses are on the horizon -- no, it's a simul-yes. And now she goes to find out how much other single mothers hate her, not to mention the married ones, possibly widows, and definitely teens. She's doomed. But she'll get a couple of nice nights away from seeing her kid grow up, and wasn't that the important thing?


"RE: Ashley."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 08:57 PM
Just once I'd like them to audition with the Dolly Parton original rather than the Whitney cover.

"Jayrah."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:16 AM
Enthusiastic. Hyper. Has written a song about Jennifer's buttocks. Does not seem to realize what kind of impression this might make on a third of the panel, because writing that kind of song is Jennifer's job.

Some talent. The panel tells him he needs to work melodic instead of rhythmic. Probably can't get as many buttock references in on melody as he can on beat. Gets through.

Quick montage of other tickets and a reminder of the low clearance of carrier hallways. (Ryan's fine.)


"RE: Jayrah."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:00 PM
Sea level stole all his words, but that may have been a good thing.

"Audrey."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:23 AM
Twenty. Girl next door type. Next door to an adult education rehab college on the Community level, because she initially thinks she's here to audition for Tyra. Who would hate her as she hates all women, so in that sense she'd have a chance.

Has melody, but her voice is a little thin and I don't think she has a chance on a belting song. Getting the ticket, but she feels like Rooms fodder. Enjoy the trip and try to get your other hopes shot down on the way back.


"RE: Audrey."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:07 PM
How did they get to be Jazz Standards when apparently no one sang them before Michael Buble?

"This is a very boring episode."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:32 AM
Maybe it needs some sudden death overtime to perk things up. Or maybe the season just needs to suddenly die. The Voice wins: see you next year!

No?

Carp.

Up next is Alexis, who loves Ellen. Yes, that Ellen. She was on Ellen's show and worked for her as an awards reporter. Her first kisses were from celebrities. Ryan makes her kiss crew members. And will not kiss her himself. Ryan has a beard and one is quota.

She is so perky that I do not want her to die. But I would like her to stand in front of the giant guns for a while, just in case.

Her voice is -- undirected. She hits notes, but doesn't seem sure how to hold them. When she's on target, she can show something, but musically she's all over the place. The panel decides to Give Perk A Chance and puts her through. They owe Ellen a favor, mostly for leaving.

The less intelligent viewership decides Alexis liking Ellen makes her gay and decides to never vote for her on general principle. That principle being that they only vote for gay males. Ones they might be able to 'reform' in bed.

Alexis doesn't know this. Because it might deperk her. Who wants to fill her in?


"RE: This is a very boring episode."
Posted by JessicaRN on 01-23-12 at 02:28 AM
She'll be out early and then she can be the Ellen correspondent for AI.


"RE: This is a very boring episode."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:14 PM
My DVR must be perk adverse, it popped back to the 10:00 moment of the game when I tried to fast forward to the perk audition.

Worked the second time around.

Rapping? Ghetto dancing? No wonder my DVR tried to save me from myself.


"Steven suffers so."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:38 AM
Six hours of people singing the same Adele song. The pay doesn't take away the pain. The drugs his pay buys does. But they do make him fall down a lot. Which brings more pain.

Kyle's next. College student. Thinks he's a ladies' man. Napoleon Squib. Singing a song in a way that he must think will seduce any female who hears it. And after his target passes out from the laughter, he can pretend they shut down from raw pleasure. Gets through. Why? There is no why. There are only yellow tickets. And commercials. Lots of commercials.

If the purpose of this was to get everyone's adrenaline down after the game, it's working.


"RE: Steven suffers so."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:20 PM
Even with the fast forward this is dragging on and on.

"San Diego is a DAW."
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:48 AM
Montage of background noise from the harbor drowning out contestants. Sometimes it's mercy. Sometimes it's sad. And sometimes it takes out the panel, which is just a sweet thing to do.

Jane Carrey is next. Something of a ham, which she gets from her dad, Jim. Yes, that Jim. Having him as a father is a plus/minus in the industry. Wants her own identity. Jennifer remembers her from the In Living Color set, when Jane was about two. Jennifer is rudely reminded that time is passing and demands that it stop.

Jane can sing.

That's all. Jane can sing. She may even have rubber facial muscles and limbs. We'll have to wait and see. And she's through to the next round.

There are very few joke auditions this year. Maybe we needed a joker instead.


"RE: San Diego is a DAW."
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:24 PM
She seems much more grounded than most celeb kids these days. Maybe having a normal name helped with that.

"Are we done yet?"
Posted by Estee on 01-23-12 at 00:59 AM
Just about... last up is Jason. White guy. Kind of husky. With guitar. And beard. Who likes to be known as Wolf.

Ladies and gentlemen, your winner!

He's a golf course mechanic. And your winner!

He has a dream to sing. And he's your winner!

But he has to audition first! And howl! Because the first is the rules and the second makes him the winner!

Dad built his guitar. And passed away last year. But he can watch his son win from above!

Country-blues style. On the loud side. Can't see much variety coming from his style. But that doesn't matter, because he's playing a guitar! And getting a yellow ticket! And winning!

Suffer, Sheen!

Fifty-three tickets. Even with montages, we saw less than half. But that doesn't matter either, because we met? The winner. Aren't you glad you stayed up for that?

Oh, wait. You didn't.

G'night.


"RE: Are we done yet?"
Posted by JessicaRN on 01-23-12 at 02:31 AM
Well, my AI recording was mostly football. Fox's plan was not flawless.

"RE: Are we done yet?"
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:27 PM
I added 2 hours to the recording time, just in case.

"RE: Are we done yet?"
Posted by Snidget on 01-24-12 at 09:29 PM
My Daddy would like his singing, so I like him by default.

"Jed would be right proud"
Posted by moonbaby on 01-25-12 at 02:30 PM
of Jethro and his git-fiddle.