A new year, a new Idol Season a new chance for Fremdschämen and Myötähäpeä to blossom into full fledged Schadenfrude.

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/102722

Hopefully neither we, the contestants, or the judges will end up with Kummerspeck

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/94828

And the incidence of Faamiti will be minimum lowering the number of ER visits from injuries caused by diving for the mute button.

http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/94828, again.

• Before the pain starts...,Estee, 08:06 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Before the pain starts...,Snidget, 08:25 PM, 01-18-12
    • No, silly!,Estee, 08:30 PM, 01-18-12
• Only one place you can make dreams come true,Snidget, 09:03 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Only one place you can make dreams come true,Estee, 09:09 PM, 01-18-12
• David Leathers,Snidget, 09:11 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: David Leathers,Estee, 09:13 PM, 01-18-12
• RE: AI 10 Premiere ECST,zombiebaby, 09:11 PM, 01-18-12
  • Coward!,Estee, 09:15 PM, 01-18-12
• Gaby Carruba,Snidget, 09:18 PM, 01-18-12
• Montage of Good Singers,Snidget, 09:19 PM, 01-18-12
  • Prearranged hot streak.,Estee, 09:22 PM, 01-18-12
• Removal of agony.,Estee, 09:19 PM, 01-18-12
• Jessica Whitely,Snidget, 09:23 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Jessica Whitely,whimsey, 09:24 PM, 01-18-12
  • This looks familiar.,Estee, 09:25 PM, 01-18-12
• People gunning for Ryan's Job Montage,Snidget, 09:32 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: People gunning for Ryan's Job Montage,Estee, 09:39 PM, 01-18-12
• Shannon 6 feet tall,Snidget, 09:35 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Shannon 6 feet tall,Estee, 09:38 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Shannon 6 feet tall,whimsey, 10:11 PM, 01-18-12
• Look like an Angel Montage,Snidget, 09:41 PM, 01-18-12
• Lives in a Tent Girl,Snidget, 09:44 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Lives in a Tent Girl,Estee, 09:48 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: Lives in a Tent Girl,Tummy, 11:11 AM, 01-19-12
  • Financial priorites.,Estee, 08:45 PM, 01-20-12
• Good Ol' Country boys,Snidget, 09:52 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Good Ol' Country boys,Estee, 09:55 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: Good Ol' Country boys,Snidget, 09:57 PM, 01-18-12
• Nerves on the Edge Girl,Snidget, 09:56 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Nerves on the Edge Girl,Estee, 09:59 PM, 01-18-12
• 4 pm,Snidget, 10:06 PM, 01-18-12
  • Repeat after me.,Estee, 10:09 PM, 01-18-12
  • Don't buy it,zombiebaby, 10:09 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: Don't buy it,Estee, 10:12 PM, 01-18-12
• I fall To Pieces,Snidget, 10:14 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: I fall To Pieces,Estee, 10:17 PM, 01-18-12
• Day Two,Snidget, 10:23 PM, 01-18-12
  • The humiliation has been doubled!,Estee, 10:25 PM, 01-18-12
• Joy Hopping Girl,Snidget, 10:27 PM, 01-18-12
  • Ashelee.,Estee, 10:30 PM, 01-18-12
• Underdeveloped Talent,Snidget, 10:32 PM, 01-18-12
• From Appomattox,Snidget, 10:35 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: From Appomattox,Estee, 10:39 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: From Appomattox,zombiebaby, 10:41 PM, 01-18-12
• Pec Pop of Love?,Snidget, 10:37 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Pec Pop of Love?,Estee, 10:41 PM, 01-18-12
    • that?,zombiebaby, 10:42 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: Pec Pop of Love?,Snidget, 10:49 PM, 01-18-12
      • RE: Pec Pop of Love?,Estee, 11:01 PM, 01-18-12
• Women who love Steven: coming up.,Estee, 10:39 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: Women who love Steven: coming up.,Snidget, 10:41 PM, 01-18-12
• RE: AI 10 Premiere ECST,zombiebaby, 10:41 PM, 01-18-12
• Steven says yes,Snidget, 10:46 PM, 01-18-12
  • *sigh*,Estee, 10:50 PM, 01-18-12
• New Stand Outs Montage,Snidget, 10:52 PM, 01-18-12
  • RE: New Stand Outs Montage,agman, 11:04 AM, 01-19-12
• Phillip Phillips,Snidget, 10:53 PM, 01-18-12
  • Ohhhh,zombiebaby, 10:55 PM, 01-18-12
    • RE: Ohhhh,Estee, 11:02 PM, 01-18-12
      • RE: Ohhhh,Tummy, 11:12 AM, 01-19-12
• RE: AI 10 Premiere ECST,Tummy, 11:21 AM, 01-19-12
• Grantland Episode #1 review.,Estee, 02:58 PM, 01-19-12

The restiartei you say.

Multiple AI personnel appeared at the Television Critics Association conference and immediately went on the offensive against every other singing talent show in current existence. They wanted everyone to know that Idol has found more stars than either of the others. (Ten times the duration will do that. But of course, no one brought that up.) They felt that The Voice relied on recycled professionals and wasn't even remotely about finding true amateurs. (Idol has had enough plants to reforest the Amazon. But no one brought that up either.) And they are good and pure and honest and true and will never ever have a contestant be openly gay while on the show, or they will shoot hir. (They're always happy to bring that up.)

Or in other words, they're fading, they're scared, their talent pool got thinned out by the other two shows, and they don't know if the X-Factor ratings crash is contagious.

Welcome to the Season Of Desperation.

Steven may have to set someone on fire. Or at least fall down in the shower. Again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Two notes:

Grantland will be running regular non-PG13 Idol columns during the season. Here's the fairly nasty (and accurate) first.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/41323/five-questions-on-american-idol-season-preview-edition

And while we're here, I'd like everyone to meet the holder of Dead Freaking Last in the My Coke Rewards popularity lists. Of roughly three hundred rewards, instant win games, sweepstakes, and other modes of trying to get your points out of your account, this is the one with the fewest redemptions. In fact, it's behind items which have been sold out for months and not seen any activity since roughly mid-autumn.

http://tinyurl.com/6wx5tzq

Wonder why.

By the way, that's two hundred and nine bottles of soda.

*squint*

Is that a paper plate and cup?

That's eight paper plates and eight cups! Plus eight napkins!

Or they could be made out of leftover pieces of Steven's post-fall face plastic. No one's saying.

Would you like me to give you six hundred and twenty-five points of your very own so you can redeem for it? I can! Sure, it'll take you six weeks to enter them, but I'm reasonably sure that collection will still be in stock...

Sharing this adventure together, this year apparently they let the contestants loose with video cameras so we get more backstory??

Production costs are just so high and getting people to do their own editing at home saves money.

Mr Steal your Girl, he's 17?

From NC, in a contest with Scotty a couple of years ago.

After his choice they asked him to sing MJ.

Three yeses.

Seventeen going on twelve... migawd, talk about the ultimate in Safe Boy looks. Disney would grab him in a second if they could find a depilatory strong enough.

Decent voice and he finds something when he reaches for the higher pitches, but I'm afraid that part of his range could become the entire gimmick in a hurry. A leadoff spot should mean he survives the Rooms, but I don't know about going beyond that.

Well that kid was good. I'm done. See y'all at the finale!

Get back here and take your prescripted punches with the rest of us! Nigel didn't go to all the trouble of finding screeching hyenas just for laughs!

16 year old. She is a champion tap dancer.

Montage of Steven Tyler face. She wants to hug Nigel?

And we get Steven Tyler face.

Yes, Yes Yes, and off to Hollywood.

For the AI value of "good"

When it breaks, the backlash is going to take out the windows.

The early theme seems to be Generation Ours. They grew up on us, they're ready for us, and they know nothing that isn't us. No other shows exist. Truth is lies. Beauty is ugly. Steven is sane.

LAST EDITED ON 01-18-12 AT 09:28 PM (EST)

The Worsters passed on the news of several artists having forbidden Idol use of their catalogs -- including Lionel Richie and Kelly Clarkson. (ETA: Jewel is also on the list.) The show has been whining 'poor pitiful us!', especially when it comes to the betrayal of their eldest, but it does mean some classic I-can't-sing-this performances are finally off the board.

Will the good run continue?
*twitch*

If it wasn't so affected it might be tolerable...or maybe not with that ending.

*crickets*

awful, really shouting, this is not your vibe, groove.

See you in Texas then?

And we're back! Yeesh.

She's Becky Star, and welcome to the Becky Star show?

Sean takes it to the next level.

This, This, This, This This is getting old.

Oh Girl....

His better as an impressionist.

Cue...Had a bad day.

Well, people have been talking about whether the show will bother reupping Ryan's contract, thanks to carefully-planted rumors. Maybe this began the quest for the substitute.

At least we know he's not Ryan's son. Because -- well, just because. (Don't make me picture it, okay?)

Dad Cardinals Pitcher....

I want her in the voting rounds just to stand next to Ryan.

She's going to Hollywood

The female-hater vote is going to have very little idea what to do with her. Tomboys are rare in this genre.

She gets her coolness under pressure from her dad. (The rest of us just got several losses handed out with glee.)

Well, I like her. But we know what happens to the children of Cardinals players ... cue Nikko Smith.

But the demons have repossessed your vocal chords.

But she can afford ink?

They like the raspiness.

Get's 100% yes, pitch a tent for her in Hollywood.

pitch a tent for her in Hollywood.

Not if we keep Steven away from her.

That would have been a very easy story to set up as a lie, wouldn't it? But I'll give her credibility for now: crash landings like that are becoming more common every day, and she's actually dealing with it better (and more practically) than most.

Here's hoping she lasted long enough to reach Hollywood.

I was so glad she could actually sing.

If we ever get bombed back to the stone age she'll be one of the ones that thrive.

Rent second. Breathtaking legal fees & fines first.

http://www.tmz.com/2012/01/19/american-idol-amy-brumfield-tent-woods-mug-shot/#.TxoJyoErwwS

Uh-oh.

And then there is, Joshua Chavis.

Ok Then hear one more?

That would be no, but he sings again anyway, no but good luck.

He said he wasn't going to leave without a ticket.

I was waiting for the taking of hostages.

Hard to take hostages when you fill up all the available space with hissiness.

Stephanie Renee, just turned 15.

Hey, J-Lo nasally is a form of singing.

Steve-yes
Randy-not yet
J. Lo-yes

She doesn't know where she is or what happens next or if it just happened to her, but she's happy!

The most amazing thing there? Randy actually has a singular 'No' function enabled. There is something that will make him vote against a contestant when the others are letting people through.

...

Seriously, who knew?

Schyler Dixon

Colton's sister.

Judges want him to audition. Let the sister sing first.
He is singing a David Cook song.

They are sending them both to Hollywood.

Script!

I smell set up! Or should I go to the conspiracy theory thread?

Personally I thought she was better than him.

I refuse to believe Nigel would ever let anyone sing if they weren't already under contract, and last year's signing shouldn't still be in effect. Is he looking for a story answer to Melanie's not-callback?

Business of spreading joy?

Lauren Mink. Working with adults with disabilities, which is not where I thought they were going with it.

Goosies, *blarf*

All yes, she is going to Hollywood.

It's always slightly amazing to look at all these people the panels loves now whom they're going to completely dismiss eight episodes from now.

She could last a while, but it's hard to see the typical voter base backing her.

Randy Tardy for the Party.

Finally time.

Mawena Cujo. From Togo. Ryan says that doesn't seem convenient.

The example of his range does not give me hope.

Singing Rascal Flatts, for a very low value of 'singing'

They made him leave Togo didn't they.

Randy wants him to come back for people who will prove Randy Rong.

And now they have him touring the streets looking for those people, singing for them in the quest to find someone who will support him.

If you punched the bottom out of a Big Gulp and held it out the window of a car going about 120 mph into a crosswind, you'd get a rough approximation of his voice. Only it would sound better.

*listens*

If he walks long enough to find a herd of buffalo, he's going to start another war.

I'll start baking apple pies.

She's got energy, and they say the right kind of crazy.

Saying yes to her and she's through to Hollywood.

Well. Life with that one would not be boring.

She can sing. I don't know how many styles she can use, but she does have a voice. There's always the one unbalanced with talent: this year, she could be it.

If she gets far enough, Wardrobe will hate her.

Pregnant wife, quit job because they couldn't give him time off at the prison.

One No, One Yes, One you will get eaten alive, One fake out with the family.

How do you think he feels about living in a tent?

Did his sister audition too?

I told you not to flip over to MTV during the breaks.

Is what Terra Nova was missing!

When VH1 and MTV collide?

No brain cells can survive.

Those last two words describe the current status of my dinner.

LAST EDITED ON 01-18-12 AT 10:42 PM (EST)

Oh yikes *hides*

ETA: Is it just me or is future ex-wife a bunny boiler?

So is Seacrest a Scientologist or are they courting him?

I feel even dirtier now watching AI now that there are Scientology commercials on.

Camera pans up and down on the reasons why.

Randy sees something there, J says no, Steven says yes.

Jennifer, is it too much to ask that you don't turn into Nicole? Legitimate protest, sure, but they've let others (males!) through who had the same problems. I really don't need to go through another season of Kill The Attractive.

Besides, that's the frau's job.

Almost time for the last sob story of the evening....

Yaaawwwwwnnnnn.....Is the paint done drying?

Works in Dad's Pawn Shop, with a Sanford and son Theme Song.

Is that a guitar? We have a winner. See you at the Finale.

LAST EDITED ON 01-18-12 AT 10:56 PM (EST)

I really like him. Does not hurt that he is mighty good looking.

*hangs head* I'm so predictable, he has a guitar.

Loved Thriller! He's channeling a little Dave Matthews I believe.

I admit it: when he went acoustical Thriller, I smiled.

And then Maroonclown kidnapped him.

Agree.

Lol, the Antique Shoppe might be hoppin' this year.

The local Fox had an update on locals Alaina Whitaker and Matt Brietzke. Alaina is going to nursing school and getting married next year. Matt was actually in renal failure while in Hollywood and is working while waiting for a kidney transplant. Both say trying out for Idol was one of the best things they've ever done.

Not remotely PG-13. But it's comforting to see semi-mainstream media inspecting the show for storylines.

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/41557/five-questions-on-american-idol-week-1-contenders-pretendersand-pimp-hats

Also, Scotty may have a small coastal problem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Od6A5pwZrxM&feature=player_embedded