LAST EDITED ON 09-17-03 AT 10:22 PM (EST)

The producers at fox have smiled on me once again, ensuring that I didn't have a miserable bday evening.

It's my birthday, It's my birthday,
Gonna party like its my birthday.
Yes, RollDdice, got my bday wish (no party, but got to watch it toddler-disruption-free)!
Summary to follow soon (i'm thinking now), wanted to start the thread.

EDIT; NEXT WEEK'S EP IS ON TUESDAY AT 8E/7CENTRAL - DIFF. TIME!

• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,The Jman, 10:24 PM, 09-17-03
  • Birthday Zack Dance,Angelfood, 10:32 PM, 09-17-03
  • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,sbeck, 10:33 PM, 09-17-03
    • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,The Jman, 10:37 PM, 09-17-03
      • RE: 9/17 Birthday ,Angelfood, 11:36 PM, 09-17-03
      • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,sbeck, 11:37 PM, 09-17-03
• RE: 9/17 Recap,Angelfood, 11:35 PM, 09-17-03
• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,cbuck, 11:42 PM, 09-17-03
  • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,cbuck, 11:57 PM, 09-17-03
    • PH & Superman similarities,Angelfood, 00:29 AM, 09-18-03
      • RE: PH & Superman similarities,Lavenderangel, 00:55 AM, 09-18-03
        • RE: PH & Superman similarities,Angelfood, 01:24 AM, 09-18-03
• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,Chrissy gal, 03:24 AM, 09-18-03
• Happy Bithday yesterday!,Breezy, 08:35 AM, 09-18-03
• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,jkokoj, 08:43 AM, 09-18-03
  • AngelFood follow this link,jkokoj, 08:47 AM, 09-18-03
    • RE: AngelFood follow this link,Lahela, 01:42 PM, 09-18-03
      • RE: AngelFood follow this link,SoCalSteve, 01:54 PM, 09-18-03
• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,RollDdice, 07:45 PM, 09-19-03
  • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,Angelfood, 10:17 PM, 09-19-03
    • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",RollDdice, 02:06 PM, 09-20-03
      • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",Chrissy gal, 03:51 PM, 09-20-03
        • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",EnglProf, 07:30 PM, 09-20-03
      • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",sbeck, 10:57 PM, 09-20-03
      • RE:-"Little BO's Peeps",Angelfood, 09:29 AM, 09-23-03
      • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",socalj, 03:12 PM, 10-01-03
        • RE: 9/17 Episode Summary-"Little BO's Peeps",RollDdice, 08:07 PM, 10-01-03
    • RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,RollDdice, 03:44 PM, 09-22-03
• RE: 9/17 Birthday Episode Summary & Discussions,RealityRoadie, 11:23 PM, 09-20-03
  • how awful....,CantStandToLook, 10:01 AM, 09-23-03
    • RE: how awful....,RollDdice, 11:25 AM, 09-23-03

Happy Birthday!!!!!!! As a birthday gift,the people from this board are chipping in,and we're going to send Zack over to give you a birthday lap dance!!! We'll be sure to tell him to wear his white ice cream suit for you!!!

Thank you, thank you, too bad I don't do dairy.
But I'd like that, so please do call and inquire about it. Anyone in the Midwest would have to join me here. Do you think he'd mind if I kept calling him Keith? OR asking if his other abs are smaller than Keiths too?
If he comes here, that'll save ITTechMom and I from having to make our "Road trip" to AZ or L.A. that we vowed to make after his 50 guys threat. We are 2 women who "gonna see him in AZ"!
I'm not even drunk....
But I'm 'naturally high' on all the great msgs I'm reading here tonight. Thanks, truly, I'm gonna cry.

Hey, Jman, what did Angelfood ever do to you?! Jman can send you Zack; I'll send over Keith! Happy birthday!

So,I'm guessing you'd rather have a lap dance from Somkey?

You 2 are 2 funny.
Hmmn, Zack, Keith or Smokey? let's take a poll.
Zack -I would just want to torture (by mentioning Keith and various other insult-slinging), Keith -I would be too busy praising and trying to steal his DNA to clone him and his respectful heroism, and Smokey - well I do have a thing for cute stuffed monkeys (own several already).
so, am i evil, adoring or cuddling?

Evil -- Bring on the Zack and save me a trip.

LOL! I will miss Smokey - he was my favorite

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 00:14 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 00:08 AM (EST)

9/17 Who's Crying Now? (Tom, 2 times)

{added, I forgot and have to wait til tomorrow to watch the tape}: there is a great women's breakfast scene, with Barbies all happy and Lamy all bitter and bloated. Lamy scowls, and eats enough for 2 (Dear Lord, please don't let that be the case), but the funnier part is that she is chewing with mouth open and all neanderthal-like, and other 3 girls are all truly disgusted by the looks on their faces (even Hollow!) Later, Amy is disgusted by the Barbies enjoyment of the hotel. T & C are body-painting each other (nothing kinky, people) and laughing and enjoying paradise, while Amy sits in her festering cesspool of hate, bitterly complaining to Bo. {Truly a sight to behold!}

Lamy-"I'm not happy Beau". She wants a ticket out of Paradise.
{OK, I'll step up and start the OFFICIAL PHO Fund for Amy's ticket out of Paradise, who's in with me? Charla's good for $20}.
Tom wants to put a hex on the game {I said last week that Amy was hexing Keith, so now I know they are in cahoots!} so he doesn't have to go home. Keith is at breakfast, but still looks tired.
Envelope: something about a seance/tarot card reading.
The predictions of Senora Script-writer:
Tara=problems with love
amy=better understanding of personal stuff
scott=alot of surprises and will bring him $$
holly= become a woman in politics (if I heard right, could've been hooker, I wasn't paying attention)
keith=have alot of power and finish unfinished projects
charla=higher level than the others because she's "Special" {the same word Dave's used to describe her}, possibilities to win, don't be afraid, triumphant over enemies.
{** if this is Fox trying to set me up for a big fall and get my hopes up, I'm gonna git my girl, Toni, to go all Yahtzee on 'em}
then, Tom (being very cute and sensitive) asks to contact his dead grandfather, ala Crossing-over style, gets affirmation of his love and has a sincereful moment, crying frequently.

B & D have a nice talk about Dave's regretting that he didn't stand up to the group to keep Bo on.
there's some lame silly-string throwing party thrown by Tom, {now in the partying mood cuz the Dominatrix Des is gone} and everyone goes hog-wild on charla, who retreats to her room {to get the amy-stink off her pretty-self} and calls Dave to come to the room cuz she's "lonely". Bo, Amy & Tom overhear, Dave gives them way too much info, TOMS ADVICE (the teaser from last week) on love: pretend to be drunk and fall all over her {IS that what works for you? Sad, sad, sad}. They call Dave "whipped" {like he could hold a candle to Lamy in that category...puhleeze}. They call scott and he answers with "HELLO, Clarice" {RollDdice called this Reference:
"Well, Melanie moving over to "cuddle" with Scott in the mid-afternoon was about as comfortable as Hannibal Lecter hitting on Clarice in "Silence of the Lambs"."
{So, my question is, Did he think that Melanie was calling or what? Talk amongst yourselves...}

they follow him to his room, again, he tells them way too much, Charla retreats to Tara's room for the night, Dave kicks out "teasers", Dave calls C, Tara calls D, C goes back to room, has "relationship-testing" (says Fox) talk with Dave, but all is sunshine again the next morning, not to worry.

Elimination:
Tom & Dave - charla
Others - the usuals
Charla chooses Dave, {DUH!!!}, Tom is definitely going home. Goes around to every guy (not girl) and hugs them and cries. Again. Alot. A river.
The 3rd Horseman of the Apocalypse {host Amanda} then announces the same tripe about another guy leaving and asks Tom "who do you think should go with you?"
T-"None of them"
A- {"Choose or Die, crybaby"}
T- That'd be Dave.
D joins Amanda, how does he feel? it Sux, hands him the...
ENVELOPE that gives Dave the Power {"I HAVE THE POWER"} to choose the 2nd loser (not him).
D-"I hate this"...long pause
B-{In a desperate attempt to save life and limb}, "I remember what you said last night. trust me, I won't do it again."
D and B argue over the semantics of what {"I did not have paradise relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky"} means, D says that he meant he wouldn't go with the group and vs. his own feelings. "I'm sorry Beau", {but ya gotta go, take care now, bye bye}.

Bozo then disappoints viewers everywhere, esp. Jman who wrote him a nice speech, by actually containing himself (with help from Amy's cheerleading) and admitting that he didn't want to look bitter while leaving.

{Da na, na, na, And Another one bites the Dust...}

C & T-"It's a miracle"
D-feels bad for amy losing her friends (names each ep) and that he's the one who has to keep doing it.
C thinks that Amy is going to win (because of her friends).

{**I've recently mentioned that the Hotel, lit in Blue at night, bears an uncanny resemblance to Castle Greyskull. Ain't it true? Tonight it is revealed that Dave, is in fact, HE-Man. He has the power (see above). (Does that make Keith man-at-arms, Charla is She-Ra, Zack is Beastman, and Amy is Skeletor?)}

{More humor or another funny recap may be added later, check back in a few days if you're a glutton for more punishment and laughter.)

Happy Birthday Angelfood!! Please write your summary soon! I missed the last 45 minutes of the episode as we had an offer on a house and our real estate agent came over at 9:15pm to say that the house was ours. It's our real estate agent's birthday too - so we celebrated his birthday and the confirmation that we got the house with a couple of drinks. The only problem was that I missed the episode!

Obviously getting our next house had to take priority over Paradise Hotel. Our real estate agent came over just afer the part where Charla and Tara were painting each other. I missed everything else but understand from the postings that Tom is history and Dave somehow got to choose the other person to leave and chose Bozo. Thank God!!

Please write your summary soon - as I am really high off getting the great house but am wanting to know what I missed. I admit that I probably need therapy for that admission!!!

I was really worried that Keith would go tonight!

Please help me Angelfood,

Your Canadian pal,
Cbuck

Hello again Anglefood,

So sorry, but it appears that I was writing my appeal to you to write your summary while you were in fact busy doing just that. By the time my post made it to the board I saw your summary appear.

Thanks so much for filling me in on what went on tonight. Hard to believe that when I first tuned in ( at the end of the episode when Melanie first got booted) that I would become so hooked on this show.

Believe it or not, I became hooked because I could not believe how poorly behaved everyone on the show was (with the exception of Charla - who I instantly felt the need to protect -this must be the mother in me). It was like watching a train wreck and I could not look away.

Thanks again for the summary,
Cbuck

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 00:31 AM (EST)

Glad to be of service.
And, faster than a speeding bullet, I answered your pleas for help a good 7 mins before you could submit them. Haha.
And do not feel alone in your gluttony, Earthling, many here share your sentiments. I keep suggesting to others to justify yourself, like I do, by hanging in there for the noble causes of seeing Good triumph over Evil (like Amy says, but backwards), of seeing the possible sweet revenge of those who have done harm to their fellow guest, and for justice to be served to those who threaten the peaceful existence of law-abiding citizens.
<http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/cgi-bin/dcboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=264&forum=DCForumID48&omm=13>
Just as I saved Keith and Dave tonight, by playing the birthday "card", I'll continue to do what I can to stop the sinister Zack Luther and Poison Amy with the help of everyone here at the League of Justice (PH board). Never fear.

Your Krptonian pal,
supergirl

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 00:57 AM (EST)

Happy Bday Angelfood.

I was so worried that Dave or Keith were gonna get booted out. Tom knew he was leaving so I don't feel bad about it. I totally didn't get why 2 of the originals came back only to be the next ones to leave. They should have just stopped checking people in before Tom or Desiree got onto the show. Well I just hope Amy will be gone next week.

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 01:26 AM (EST)

Thank you doll and welcome.
We were all worried, but have some faith that Fox is a ratings DAW and either: keep changing power to be balanced, or realized that the Barbie fan base is larger. But don't be fooled into getting your hopes up for a happy Barbie ending. Keep your expectations low and we'll all get thru this ordeal just fine.

Always Look at the bright side, if they didn't bring back 2 losers, we wouldn't have had that wonderful opportunity to drop some extra baggage, now would we?

If you need more moral support, write anytime.
p.s. You're ...angel, I'm Angel...
If we get one more Angel can we become Charlie's Angels? that would make my day.

Happy belated Birthday Angelfood!

Thank you for the recap of the show. I missed it again and wasn't sure if I wanted to watch the tape of it.

I am so glad that our heros are still in "Paradise" (I don't really think it resembles anything close to paradise, more like hell with beautiful surroundings).

Chrissy gal

"Never underestimate the potential psychosis of a reality show contestant." managerr

Great summary......you're present is over at OT. Check it out.

*Breezy ... keeping OT satisfied since 2003*

http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/DCForumID6/8318.shtml#1

And any of you other fine PHo haters are more than welcome to join us in the Off Topic Forum of this site! True and Drive My Car will gift you with a crap basket and some other lard filled fats to make your visit seem worthwhile!LOL

LAST EDITED ON 09-18-03 AT 01:44 PM (EST)

Thanks for the great summary Angel! And happy belated birthday (although..I did wish you a happy birthday in another thread yesterday!) Thanks for playing the "birhtday card". You came through for all of us! ;)

Well I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that Beau is gone AGAIN and so is Tom...Acme's two(and only) co-conspirators left. Although, Holly seems to have it in for Tara after the whole Alex thing (still not sure why she thinks what she did is any different from what Tara did with Alex...they both made out with him). I am hoping Scott gets over this whole "you took a long time deliberating" horse sh*t! He needs to get over himself. Dave could have booted his beotch bootay outta there and then our friend Holly would be the next to go (cause she doesn't have ANYBODY but Scott).

Again..thanks for the summary. You did an awesome job! I'm still laughing at the He-Man references. I totally see it!
Oh...and I think that Charla would be Teela instead of She-Ra. ;)
Oh..and Holly would be Evilynn!

Happy Belated Birthday Angelfood!

I a low level DAW poster..but I have aspirations...
I'm NO "country-boy" and I don't have much "lawyer" in me, and I certainly have better abs than Zach-A$$ (somwhere under my love handles!).... but whatever I am... I wish you a very Happy-Merry-Birthday!

Take GOOD Care!
Steve

Angelfood -

Glad you had a good birthday. I have a 9/17 Summary finished and Ready to Roll. Just say the word and I'll post that puppy!

Roll,
Anywhere you find room in here - go ahead, just change the subject line so it stands out. Did you like my superman analogy?

SoCal,
thanx for the well wishes sweetie. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you in posting #s, so don't let that count. Not having country boy/ lawyer in you - is a GOOD thing. welcome to the bds.

LAST EDITED ON 09-20-03 AT 02:08 PM (EST)

"Little Bo's Peeps"

We begin with our usual sweeping view of the Mexican coastline. The aerial camera passes along the ocean, over the Isle of Lucy and up to the enclave that the frightened villagers call “Isla de las puta$ de television”. Finally we tilt up to Castle Greyskull and the opening credits / scorecard which show that Tara, Keith, Charla, Dave, Holly, Scott, Amy, Tom & Smokey and Beau are still in the game.

The episode starts with the men gathering for breakfast as Dave is trying to do some relationship patchwork. For some reason, the putty knife he’s using is the Huevos Rancheros that he has ordered especially for them. Check that—they are “Authentic” Huevos Rancheros. The thought bubble over Bo’s head reads, “‘Authentic?’ Like the ones served at the Boston Marriott’s Sunday brunch buffet?” After sniffing the huevos for the same poison that Lamy wanted to use on Keith’s fries, Tom gets in the first nasty shot of the morning, telling Dave that he should manipulate someone into being Tom’s roommate. Dave zings back that being alone in the Black Room is a power position—the same spin that Tom threw at Desperatee last week.

The girl’s table is no “My Pretty Pony” convention either. The Charbies and Hollow are having a pleasant enough time until Lamy makes her bitter and bloated entrance. It’s obvious, (to me at least) that Fox should invest in a “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” music package for all of Lamy’s walk-ons and finally get rid of any illusion that she is going to have a civil conversation with anyone.

After picking at her arm in much the same way that Pro-Zack groomed his chest, Lamy declares that, “This is too weird for me”. This leads us into a flashback where Lamy reveals that P-Ho is not her Paradise, Pro-Zack is her Paradise. Look at that, an actual lump in my throat. Now we’re going to have scouts from Hallmark prowling PH, looking for their next line of greeting cards; “The Stupid and Spiteful Shoebox Collection”. Lamy also confesses that it’s hard to pretend to be happy.

Happy or not, she seems to have no trouble plowing her way through the Paradise Hotel Grand Slam Breakfast – cereal, banana, four eggs, twelve pancakes and all the bitterness you can swallow. If, as Angelfood suggests, Lamy is “eating for two”, I’m going to be sick right now and beat the rush.

But suddenly Alejandro the waiter comes in with a drinking glass covered by one of Keith’s Magnum condoms. Taking Lamy by surprise, he grabs her by the hair and slams her face toward the latex. At the last possible moment, Lamy’s fangs flip out like switchblades and puncture the latex. As Alejandro gently strokes Lamy’s throat, we see venom gush from her fangs, filling more than half the glass. Alejandro explains to the startled guests that Miss Lamy’s venom will be used in the village to create a snakebite vacine and Miss Lamy has just saved many lives. (Maybe that just happened in my head… I’ll have to check the tape.)

After breakfast Charla and Tara find body paint by the pool and start painting each other. While not as sexy as the producers had hoped, it begs this question; is PH based on “2001: A Space Odyssey” – you just leave any old obelisk or body paint laying around and see how the native creatures interact with it?

Back in Lamy and Bo’s room, Lamy is back on her favorite rant. She’s not happy and wants a Ticket Out of Paradise. Although Bo considers punching her ticket, he is forced into consoling her. He tells her that she’s strong, Zack would want her to stay and concludes with one of the lamest speeches yet; “Because the strong Lamy I know … I don’t know where she is. You don’t even know where she is.” (Has anyone checked the store where Pro-Zack was abandoned by his mother?)

Don’t Walk Toward the Light

At lunch, Bo reads a note to the group that there will be a séance at midnight with Madame Judith. Now, I’m no expert on Mexican Psychics, but Judith has to be the least Spanish (or even otherworldly) name that I’ve ever heard. I can only guess that Jon Edwards’ price was too steep and that Mistress Cleo (the Jamaican $3.95 per minute Tarot Card Reader lady) is still in a federal prison for fraud.

In anticipation of the séance, Keith reads Tara’s palm and shows her “there’s your house, there’s your fence”. He then spits into her palm. “And there’s your pool.” Keith is spitting on her and getting laid, while Dave can’t get any action. Unbelievable. At any rate, midnight comes and me wanna go home.

Gathered around the table, Madame Judith is going to flip the tarot cards and tell everyone’s fortune. This is slightly complicated by the fact that she doesn’t speak English and Pedro will have to translate. Great. I know when I’m trying to communicate with Spirits From the Great Beyond, I want as many interpreters in the mix as possible.

Tara is told that she is going to have problems with matters of the heart. We see flashbacks of her hooking up with Bo, Alex and Keith. No problems there. So this probably refers to Lamy sticking a kitchen knife in her back and the knife affecting Tara’s heart in some way. After all, Lamy has “achieved more (misdemeanor and felony convictions) in her life than Tara ever will.”

Lamy is told that she will have a better understanding of her personal “stuff” and not “having as much depression.” Flashbacks of Lamy crying and Zack, so this prediction definitely refers to the court ordered therapy that’s in her future.

Wait, what’s this?! I just caught a flash of something in Madame Judith’s ear. Slo mo analysis reveals that it’s a wireless earpiece that says, “Property of Fox Television”. Hmmm.

Scott is promised surprises that will bring him money. Hollow is told that she will be involved with politics, which leads into a flashback of her shaking her ta-tas on the boat. Can anyone else say “Gary Hart aboard the Monkey Business II”? The next flop of the Tarot cards reveals that Madame Judith has filled an inside straight and that Keith has power and unfinished projects will get finished. Keith, bless his laser-like focus, has only one project in mind—the removal of Lamy.

Speaking of Lamy, she has been told to report back to her Finishing School to make up the table manners and courtesy classes she flunked. If that Finishing School can sand her down and give her two more coats of varnish, I think she’ll be ready.

Then Charla is told that she is on a higher level than other people and “special”. She manages to keep a poker (or “tarot”?) face during most of this, even though she completely agrees with everything the Fates are saying… through Madame Judith … through Pedro… to her. Or to put in baseball terms; a 4 – 5 – 3 double play. Tom asks to contact his dead grandfather and it’s obvious that there’s a lot of emotion there, so let’s just say that Tom gets some comfort from this. Some crying Yin to counter-balance the hard-as$ Yang he was throwing at Dave during breakfast. (Anyone else want to rent the Adult hit “Crouching Yin, Hidden Yang” or is it just me?) For some reason, they run out of quarters and the fortuneteller slumps over before Dave can have his fortune told.

Smokey’s Silly String Saloon

The next day Dave approaches Charla in their room to ask her out on a date. I know! A date! In the process Dave tells Charla that she would be beautiful even if she caught SARS, a meteor fell on her head and she did a swan dive into a pool of acid.
Her response? “Thanks, Dave.”

All I can say is that I don’t need haircuts anymore as I tear my hair out every time Dave debases himself and Charla continues to wind him tighter and tighter around her little finger. She treats him like crap and he keeps coming back for more. Dave may normally wear his heart on his sleeve, but with Charla it’s a freakin’ ankle bracelet.

The group heads over to a party hosted by Tom and Smokey. Dave and Hollow drink from the ice luge and things are looking up. But Lamy hasn’t been the center of attention for like, eight minutes, so she takes this opportunity to put on a baton twirling, cheerleading exhibition. “It’s not a cheer-ocracy. I’m the cheer-tator and you must look at me!” Despite heavy Las Vegas odds, the stick does not take a weird bounce and launch itself up her as$. Then the party takes a somber turn when a Silly String fight breaks out and Charla gets the worst of it. This leads her to say to Tara, “I guess I learned people’s true feelings about me.” No goofball, you learned that if you stand there and don’t shoot back you’re going to get creamed. As everyone’s mother used to say, “It’s all fun until someone ends up crying.”

Back at the party, Bo tries to repair his relationship with Dave by saying, “I didn’t like the person I came back as,” when the former guests were “twisted” back on and made life difficult for the Charbies. How Bo thinks he can justify his horrible behavior when the OrigiHOs dominated I don’t know, but I can tell you he has more balls than the Davis Cup. . . and that’s without Venus and Serena. Dave says he feels guilty about following the group’s wishes to boot Bo off. Phrasing it this way, Dave successfully threads the needle.

Charla telephones and over Lamy’s “whipped” sound effects, Charla tells Dave that she’s “lonely” and wants him to come to the room. Somehow … miraculously… Lamy rummages through her multiple personalities and pulls out one of the adults. She asks Dave, “Does she ever do anything for you?” BEST QUESTION OF THE NIGHT!

The rest is really too sad to detail, so let’s turn tail and summarize. Tom suggests Dave pretend to be drunk and “fall right on top of her.” He’s actually serious. Dave says goodnight to all and goes to Charla, bearing drinks. The others eventually follow Dave to his room and tease him until it goes too far.

I know I just promised to keep it short, but when the Gang approaches Dave/Charla’s room, she says, “He’s scared of you guys right now”, smiles and slides over so they can get in and torture Dave. Bo pats her on the head like the dog that she is. (When the Nazi storm troopers came for Anne Frank, Charla would have said, “She’s in the attic. Let me find that ladder for you.”) Nice girl. Hopefully Dave will see the light soon.

Charla leaves. Gang leaves. Dave calls. Charla won’t return. Dave pissed. Charla returns. Dave thinks. Charla can’t think beyond Charla. Light not reaching Dave yet.

Elimination Junction – What’s Your Function?

The men of PH get their letters telling them that the axe is going to fall, so shove your stuff in your Samsonite. Dave tries to backpedal like a bear on a unicycle regarding his fight with Charla, hoping to smooth things over before elimination. Tara and Keith speculate that Dave might get the boot. Dave worries about Charla. Charla worries that she might not have enough makeup to last ‘til the end. Bo tells Tom he doesn’t want to go home. Tom tells Bo that nobody wants to go home. God, they’re fascinating.

That night, the men and women walk out together, sharing reassuring squeezes and secret handshakes before splitting up poolside for the line up. Amanda tells the men to pick a roommate. Tom has been alone since Desperatee departed and I’m now convinced that Tom is a “plushie” and that Smokey has been violated repeatedly. Anyhow… Tom goes first and picks Charla. His reasoning is that he’s been with every human female except Charla and he wants to complete his collection. Amanda asks if there are any other reasons and he says “no”. Pretty smooth. Charla’s “Gee, thanks a lot,” seems to indicate that she’s a bit under-whelmed.

The rest of the picks go by the book. Dave picks Charla, Bo picks Lamy, Keith picks Tara and Scott picks Hollow. This leaves Charla with a decision between Tom and Dave. Since she has made an enormous time investment housebreaking Dave, she chooses him.
Charla to Tom: “Even though I’m very touched by the (non) reason you chose me, I’m gonna have to go with Dave.” Give Charla this much, she has a sense of humor.

Amanda: Is there anything else you want to say to the guys before you leave?”
Tom: “Uhhhh.” Words literally fail him, so he gives all the guys manly “street hugs”.
Amanda announces that TWO men will be checking out of Paradise and asks Tom who he thinks that the other man should be. Tom hems and haws, finally choosing Dave. Dave seems to be a little surprised, but certainly not shocked.

But the Fox “twist generator” has determined that in a back-handed spin of the ally/enemy cards, Dave is not going to be eliminated, but will instead choose someone to go home. At this point, Tom is asked to leave and he runs off with his arms up in the air. Is he hearing the “Rocky” theme in his head and heading home to Adrian / Smokey? Who knows.

Back at the Lineup, Dave talks through this choice and mentions that, “No matter what I do, people are going to be pissed and be disappointed.” After a long pause and dramatic music, Dave picks Bo. Bo tries a little last minute campaigning to guilt Dave into keeping him, even misquoting Dave, but he obviously hasn’t read the fine print. Dave reminds him that his regret was not voting out Bo, but being group-pressured into it. Bo has now been kicked to the curb twice, for those of you playing the home game, and he is pissed. He tells Dave that he is not a man of his word. Lamy is left crying as Bo gives his “hope the good people win” speech. In yet another awkward moment for Dave, he mis-times an aborted hug with Bo. Bo finally hears my screams and heads up the stairs without any of his previous heel-clicking.

Elimination – The After Party

Tara calls Dave and Keith remaining “a miracle” while Dave outlines his plan to reconnect with Hollow so that she and Scott will cover the Charbie’s backs. Moments later Dave is talking to Hollow privately when Scott walks up, listens, and finally accuses Dave of deliberating too long in making his decision. Once again, Dave is not prepared for the tough questions and gets that “hand caught in the cookie jar” look one more time. Scott shakes his head knowingly. He’s been burned by the big kids before, and he’s starting to learn how the game is played.

Lamy, jamming dessert into her face at a blistering pace while talking to Hollow, predicts that she will be going home next week. Therefore, she vows to make her next couple of days “known”. Lamy also says that she now trusts Keith more than Dave and lets out a squeak that is supposed to indicate surprise, irony, self-realization or maybe her demand for another slice of pie.

Charla does the “Lamy has been through a lot” rundown, naming Zack, Toni, Kristin, Alex, Melanie, Desiree and Bo (twice) as friends who have been eliminated. Charla also theorizes that Lamy “has what it takes to win this game.” Namely, a bus schedule and friends to push.

(Next week the episode is “SuperSized”, meaning that it’s on Tuesday, it’s two hours long and it has twice the amount of fat Lamy, salt in wounds and calories than recommended by the Food and Drug Administration.)

Fabulous summary RollDDice!!! Not only did I laugh out loud, I also talked to myself about nasty LAmy, BoZo and Tom.

Chrissy gal

"Never underestimate the potential psychosis of a reality show contestant." managerr

Hey, yeah, RollDDice, too many laugh out loud moments to count! Right on!

ROFLMAO! I especially loved the digs at Ample Amy (or Lardy LAmy, or Plump-pimply Amy...

Bravo! Funny from top to bottom, omg.

"Let's get ready to rumble" ... woulda been perfect so many times. Extracting Amy the snake's venom - was a highlight for me. Her calling anyone 'whipped' is the pot calling the kettle Black.
How come they didn't show Dave's fortune reading?
"Senor Dave,
you will soon be overwhelmed with huge amounts of emails from adoring fans everywhere, of course most of them are married women. by the way, Senor Beau is plotting against you with Amy."

You are officially my favorite poster.

I just got to this thread...at long last. Your references definitely date you. You are over 35, no? I recognized all of the references.....so......doing the math........

I don't think I'll ever look at LAmy again without visualizing her neck getting stroked. I haven't laughed like that in weeks!

>You are officially my favorite poster.
>
>
>I just got to this thread...at
>long last. Your references definitely
>date you. You are over 35, no? I recognized all
>of the references.....so......doing the math........
>==================

I am honored to be your official favorite poster, although it sounds like a crushing responsibility.

I'd appreciate it if you refer people to this thread (and other Angelfood thoughts... she's great) if they want a chuckle. I also started a new thread with an "URGENT BREAKING PAIR-OF-DICE NEWS" heading.

Enjoy the Finale tonight!

Your Official Croupier at the Pair-Of-Dice Hotel

Angelfood -

Great Superman analogy -- so true. Remember, if you're laying out in the sun this week, turn over on a regular basis. (That way you won't get a red "S".)

Wild guess on the next elimination -

My twisted little brain has come up with the following, which would be terrible.

Amy gets to choose first because she is odd woman out. She can choose whomever she wants and that person can't be chosen by anyone else. An almost visible lightbulb goes off above Amy's head ("by Jove I think she's got it!") and she FINALLY realizes it is a GAME and chooses Kieth to get rid of Tara. (Kieth then says "you have to be f'in kiddin' me" and starts to cry. Ummm, wait, no, that's been done.)

Then Holly chooses Scott. Then, very predictably, both Tara and Charla choose Dave, and then Amanda says:

Well Dave, who do you choose? Tara or Charla? Dave does his best to soften the blow to Tara.

Then Amanda says (in a slightly patronizing tone):

Well, Dave, I asked you who you chose, but I didn't say it would matter, because none of you are in one of the final two set couples, all three of you are eliminated.

Yikes.

But with this show anything's possible so it wouldn't surprise me.

We are Joe Schmoe and we're being set up...we just dont know what we're being set up for yet.

CantStandToLook -

We're being set up, but watching every minute of it. Incredible sig pic, by the way. (smiles knowingly)