Audition...commercial...Audition...commercial...rinse...repeat...

PEPSI CUP!!!

• RE: X-Factor USA Audition #3 ECST,Estee, 07:44 PM, 09-28-11
• Intro,Snidget, 08:05 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Intro,Estee, 08:09 PM, 09-28-11
• Brock and Mekenna,Snidget, 08:11 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Brock and Mekenna,Estee, 08:13 PM, 09-28-11
• RSS Segment.,Estee, 08:18 PM, 09-28-11
• Oh Dear,Snidget, 08:19 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Oh Dear,cahaya, 01:38 AM, 09-30-11
• Sykler Anderson,Snidget, 08:23 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Sykler Anderson,Estee, 08:27 PM, 09-28-11
    • RE: Sykler Anderson,cahaya, 01:37 AM, 09-30-11
• Mark aka J. Mark,Snidget, 08:33 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Mark aka J. Mark,Estee, 08:39 PM, 09-28-11
    • RE: Mark aka J. Mark,cahaya, 01:35 AM, 09-30-11
• Planet Paula Montage,Snidget, 08:34 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Planet Paula Montage,Estee, 08:40 PM, 09-28-11
    • RE: Planet Paula Montage,Snidget, 08:51 PM, 09-28-11
• Have we accomplished anything in the last forty minutes?,Estee, 08:42 PM, 09-28-11
• Josh Krajcik,Snidget, 08:47 PM, 09-28-11
  • Holy carp.,Estee, 08:51 PM, 09-28-11
    • Typical.,Estee, 05:08 PM, 09-29-11
      • RE: Typical.,cahaya, 01:40 AM, 09-30-11
• Seattle? Again? ,Estee, 08:54 PM, 09-28-11
• Pacific Northwest--Seattle,Snidget, 08:58 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Pacific Northwest--Seattle,Estee, 09:02 PM, 09-28-11
• Drew Ryneiewicz,Snidget, 09:08 PM, 09-28-11
  • Agenda: Day #3.,Estee, 09:11 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Drew Ryneiewicz,cahaya, 01:41 AM, 09-30-11
• Paraphrase the worst.,Estee, 09:15 PM, 09-28-11
• Peet Montzingo,Snidget, 09:20 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Peet Montzingo,Estee, 09:33 PM, 09-28-11
• 4Shore,Snidget, 09:30 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: 4Shore,Estee, 09:35 PM, 09-28-11
• Elaine Gibbs,Snidget, 09:34 PM, 09-28-11
  • Phillip Lomax,Snidget, 09:38 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Elaine Gibbs,cahaya, 01:43 AM, 09-30-11
• Hard to say Yes to the Girls Montage,Snidget, 09:43 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Hard to say Yes to the Girls Montage,Snidget, 09:45 PM, 09-28-11
• Tiah Tolliver,Snidget, 09:51 PM, 09-28-11
  • Random notes. (Title not a singing comment.) ,Estee, 09:55 PM, 09-28-11
  • After The Break,Snidget, 09:57 PM, 09-28-11
    • RE: After The Break,Estee, 10:06 PM, 09-28-11
      • RE: After The Break,cahaya, 01:44 AM, 09-30-11
• Tomorrow,Snidget, 09:59 PM, 09-28-11
  • RE: Tomorrow,Estee, 10:07 PM, 09-28-11
• A full...,cahaya, 01:48 AM, 09-30-11

You forgot 'seal clap', 'sob stories', and 'going to the same shot of people waiting outside three months earlier, fifteen different times.'

But other than that, pretty close.

Isn't this opera used for some horror movie?

Chicago, the windy city.

It's Raining It's Pouring...It's Walking on Sunshine??

Judges. Simon, Paula, LA Reid we blame the Beebs on him, Cheryl Cole "returning" rather than we shot this before we kicked her to the curb...

This is a Re show.

Resequenced... repeated... reshot... rerecorded...

From Springfield Missouri...did she say their Musak brought them together?

He loves her, she's got him in the friend box.

Colder Weather.

LA Reid, you made my day. Cheryl harmonies spot on, vocals so controlled. Paula likes their vocal blend. Simon, not a fan of this kind of stuff, voice is sensational.

4 yeses

I didn't know Jennifer Lipschitz could sing!

...I remember her as being older.

Regularly Scheduled Svck.

Kim Terek. 10 years of voice lessons, never tried pop music.
Needs a refund.

Tim Quinn First ever audition for anything. Kiss on a Rose.

Robin Royal, looks good for 45. Sounds bad for any age.

She came to audition as a judge. Charlesia

You'd think that as a shuttle bus driver, she'd be on time.

Young black country singer. Mom works at a motorcycle factory.

First audition ever. From Southhaven Mississippi. Must Be Doin' Something Right.

Music stops, sound board shot, he just keeps going on a cappella, and Paula encourages him. Crowd claps to give him a beat.

Stopped with a thumbs up from Simon.

Says he came too far to stop now over the track stopping.

Paula says impressed, but needs to work on vocals. Simon impressed he just carried on. Thinks he loves this kind of music and he's different.

4 yeses

I thought Simon had given the signal to cut the music: the opening notes were weak and Judge Doom might have decided 'three bars, that's enough.' Give him some credit for pushing on.

BGWG... no, we haven't seen an instrument yet.

Brave dude who did a fine job of staying composed. He really wants it and deserves the pass to boot camp. He'll need the training.

Ph.D. Philosophy student, talks about his brain, doesn't want to be a cookie cutter formed in a factory???

So he didn't do so well in the required logic classes??

Honest answer to why he is there...money.

Radioheads Creep, with his own backing track. Moves oddly I think he believes he is dancing.

Audience liked it.

Paula, you are otherworldly. In a different jurisdiction. I think I've visited there once or twice, the places we could go together. LA Reid. Sounded so bad but felt so good. Cheryl needs to go with Paula then next time she goes there.

Three yeses, Simon looks annoyed.

So we're all agreed that the panel was actually talking about how high they've been?

As for the dancing... I think he knows Paul. Actually, if it wasn't for the fact that his singing didn't make me want him dead, he could have been Paul. An odd duck who swims by draining the pond and walking on the bottom.

But he does have something. Radiohead was a good choice for him: he'll be a fringe candidate who, if he gets to the voting rounds, will be living off the margins. I just don't see him as being anywhere near the Top 40, because the Top 40 hates chance, change, messages, and frequently music.

I'll check the Worsters thread later. They need time to come down from the mass evilgasm.

This guy is the perfect poster boy for Worsters.

And the American Mathematical X Factor Society.

Oh dear....

The best part was the very overdue slow horror of Simon finally realizing that this is ultimately his fault.

It's a beautiful thing.

Some commercial time got sold.

...

That's about it.

Arin Ray got a brief show then onto the next audition.

Lisa Josh's Mom drove him, and she is really impressed with his talent. He works in a burrito place, smells like onions.

She swears if she wasn't his Mom she'd still think he was talented.

Oh this is not going to end well, is it...

She seems way more nervous than he does.

At Last Etta James.

*hides eyes* I can't look...
*peeks*

This isn't one of the joke auditions???

Standing O from Paula.

Simon. I always thought I wouldn't be surprised again, and you started singing and it blew me away. You are honest, no gimmicks. Good for you. LA Reid, I get you dressed like this, this is your before, you are way too good. Paula, certain voices it gets into our skin, it is incredible, what a treat.

3335 yeses (does Simon have an audience count or something?)

Burrito Mick Foley can belt!

And that? Is why I sit through this horror. Because I'm waiting for that one person to step onto the stage and say 'Welcome to the next thirty years.'

Got my rooting interest. For the first time in a small forever, I've got someone to hope for.

...someone better tell him he's going to be cut during Boot Camp.

I did not win at Spot The Plant.

According to the Worsters, he's self-released a couple of cuts and went on tour in 2007 as part of an opening act for someone more popular. Still -- man can sing.

Yup. Even DS and his buddy next door went looking for his stuff online. This guy is really good. And he'll keep wardrobe busy.

Did Paula drop a pill bottle?

I know it's another resequence, but this is getting ridiculous.

LAST EDITED ON 09-28-11 AT 08:59 PM (EST)

I think Seattle usually brings the what the...

And Cheryl is gone again, Nicole back. Paula breaks her arm with a wrist band.

Sheree and Darwin of the blue eyeshadow. Mom and daughter. They want to exceed Lady GaGa.

The Good Girls. Paula remembers them, they wrote a screen play about Simon.

Sheree used to sing in coffee houses. Simon confused which one is the mother. Sheree is 70 and daughter is 31. Can't believe either age.

What's Going On by Marvin Gaye. No backing track.

Paula signals the stop, Simon is catatonic. When he comes to he says it is the worst group he has ever seen in his life. Nicole says it was lifeless.

All No.

Darwin's AI Audition http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL91Avz-3PA

they wrote a screen play about Simon.

I'm guessing he dies at the end.

And just to complete the AI ripoff, they played them off with Bad Day. Which promptly made Simon slip onto another catatonic state. But at least it's quiet there. Except for Paula.

Well, they exceeded Lady Gaga. Given a choice, more people never want to see them again.

It's a Bieber fan. Singing Baby by Bieber. Simon asks if she knows LA signed Bieber and he asked if it is OK if he is critical because he is so close to that song.

She slowed it up.

LA seems into it and Mom about loses it back stage.

Nicole, says hard for me as I am a fan and like the original version, so it is interesting that I prefer your version. Paula, daring and original. Simon, this is exactly what I wanted a 14 year old to do. People your age would buy your version of that song. LA Reid, I like that you made it your own, soulful and you are special

4 yeses

She has some talent, but I wasn't as impressed as the judges tried to come across as being. It felt like the show was pushing her too hard, too early.

I get the impression she wants his baby.

If Charlie Sheen went on Planet Paula, what would happen?

Girl group told no

Peet wants to be a teen heart throb. His parents are dwarfs, he's the only normal height one.

Billionaire by Bruno Mars (use famous rather than the word billionaire).

Nicole. Liked the rendition, love you got big dreams. Simon, the singing was terrible, didn't like the change of lyrics, horribly honest. LA Reid, singing didn't measure up, but I think you may be famous some day. Paula, you are funny your timing is great.

It is a no, but they all think he's could be a star.

So he's not good enough, but people will like him.

Here's hoping he doesn't enter politics.

Boy Band, wants lots of Grammys.

End of the Road written by LA Reid.

Paula. Harmonies spot on, you're a blessing. Simon always wanted to be successful all over the world, they would be proud of you representing America All over the world.

All Yeses.

Hate count:

1. The name.
2. The song they were singing.
3. The artificial feel of the group.
4. The fact that I'm going to be putting up with them for the next three months.

53, You've Gotta Friend.

LA Reid and Nicole Stand.

Why Nicole Loves the Show, all Yeses.

Francesca 17 years old. Singing Hero by Mariah Carey. Way too big for her. Why are they saying yes, she got 4 yeses.

Montage of other people singing for a moment and yeses

Tiger Budbill, Wedding DJ. LA Reid is a no, but the rest are yeses.

Hipster, waiter.

Simon quips he needs more confidence after the intro.

Singing Fly Me To The Moon.

Simon. I think part of the thing about being a star is self belief, charisma, is an issue with your voice when you push it, you are interesting I like you. LA Reid. Is he a star, yes, does he have the X factor, yes. Paula, that magical thing that happens on stage. Nicole, lets go to a vote.

4 yeses.

That's Elaine Gibbs, 53, wedding singer, and good at it. A potential elderly diva here.

It is official, Nicole turned into Kara.

Impossible by Shontelle

LA wonderful spirit, nothing with a track. Didn't like the a capella. Simon has a feeling about this girl. Nicole didn't like the key changes a lot.

Simon goes on about the DOA thing.

Nicole Passes. Simon says yes 100% LA Says Yes.

Definitely a Simon and LA Reid against the girls here.

Paula says has to go with her gut, I'm going to have to say no.

LA gives her a chance to change a no into a yes and we are off to break.

That was a pair of near-epic bitchfaces. 'Make me laugh. Make me smile. Make the Botox crack in half.'

Oh, so that's what Paula sounds like when everything starts to wear off!

How strange is it to hear Simon fighting for someone? And how much does he wish he'd written in that 'I break all ties' power?

And if Nicole is turning into Kara, we can bring Cheryl back now.

Not saying the key change wasn't a problem, but if Simon's that determined, all fighting him does is set up your last paycheck.

It Don't Mean A Thing....

Simon is begging them. Audience yes or no.

Simon pushes on the girls. Nicole says Simon saw steel, I need you to work on your vocal, give you a chance and say yes.

Simon is begging them.

Take a screencap, 'cause you'll never see it again.

I see Paula's complete breakfast included a full bowl of Wheaties. Urine-soaked for extra flavor.

Indeed, when was the last time (no, make that the first time) you've seen Simon beg?

LAST OF THE AUDITIONS! Thank Cod!!!!

So you're eager to reach the faux drama of the gah-roups Boot Camp?

... recap here.

Keeping up. It takes four hours to write and edit a blog of a two hour episode, it doesn't help that Survivor is on the same night. I'll be glad when four hours a week of X Factor gets trimmed down.