...but I'm not happy.

Ryan addressing Steven about the book. "You've really exposed yourself here. Is there any area you haven't touched?"

...gonna need a bucket.

Announcing some of the audition cities.

and this won't be pretty...

A couple of Idols to Gordon: Can you teach us first? *laughter from Gordon*

One dish is trashed... Two dishes are trashed... Three dishes are trashed... Success?... Scotty... and it's not pretty... *spit*

Lauren wins and Jacob gets second... More competition to come!

In Hell's Kitchen.

Poor Gordon.

Hayley swears, such a dirty mouth.

Hayley's is a little pichy
Jacob's looks like vomit and not even the Big Guy can save him.
James--as hard as a rock
Lauren--Big, as it is from the south. Seasoned beautifully.
Scotty--What is that. Gets spit out.

Lauren wins, second best Jacob.

Competition isn't over.

"Haley? Language," may be the funniest line of the season.

Gawds, I needed that laugh. First time I've heard honest criticism on Idol all year, and the only way to do it was getting rid of every single judge, the stage, Ryan, the Swaybots... And Jacob's reaction to coming in second? That's going to inspire some images.

Special bonus: they were all more tolerable than Sabrina!

Just A Kiss

Pimping Itunes then on into the making the choice by the idols.

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-11 AT 08:42 PM (EST)

Because as we all know, straight guys have no fashion sense.

Oh, and Haley pulls her song choices out of a hat. That explains so much.

Real in-show details about The List will be revealed on the tenth of Never.

Looks like whoever's last to stand will have to choose which group they think they belong in... and then Ryan will reveal which group's safe...

James on far side, Lauren on the near side...

J-Lo's up next, though...

We might be surprised?

Are we getting Jimmy I's take on everyone---or just James. Gosh they must be lacking in filler for the night.

James--Start a group on the far side of the stage.
Lauren--What was that weird noise when Ryan was talking, stand on the near side.

Uh-Oh...Jimmy is actually giving criticism, Lauren looks devastated that she isn't the bestest ever.

never gets old.

I get the feeling she has been coddled her whole life.

Lady Gaga was supposed to be on the show and sing Judas but that did not work out, Hence, the uber hideous filler.

Lauren vs Jacob.

Lauren wins!

Great future....as customers.

Let's just pretend I was out of the room for Jacob Vs. The Not-Sausage. It'll be easier that way.

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-11 AT 11:05 PM (EST)

Who didn't think Lauren would win? Sheesh. Crap filler.

Boys in the audience tossing popcorn and drinking Coke.

I'm not quite sure what fashion statement the droopy crotch but tight everywhere else shiny pants was supposed to make.

According to the Worsters, the statement is 'I took major heat from the fashion police the last time I went all-tight. Not gonna happen again.'

I knew I couldn't be the only one who noticed how droopy her drawers were.

Blind/Deaf taste test.

Beef: Jacob right, Lauren wrong
Tofu: Jacob wrong, Lauren right
Hot Dog: Lauren right, Jacob WRONG!

Lauren sweeps the board!

All of you have great potential in the restaurant business... as customers...

J-Lo: On the Floor with Pitbull...

Ryan/Steven/Randy up in the crowd with a bowl of popcorn, which they toss at the camera....

Video starts up before Pitbull heads to the stage... then J-Lo arrives...

Is this different than the other song?

Slightly off? Slightly off?

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-11 AT 08:51 PM (EST)

Jacob--Join Lauren on the near side.
Hayley--Join James on the far side of the stage.
Scotty--Never been in the bottom 2. No different tonight. You are safe.

One of the groups is the bottom 2. Wants Scotty to stand with who you think is safe.

Scotty isn't going to do that, can't do that.

Joining Scotty in safety is Hayley and James.

Lauren's crying already.

'Oh lord, they're making me stand between two abominations!'

Jacob joins Lauren on the near side...

Hayley joins James on the far side...

Scotty turns out has never been in the Bottom 2, and he's SAFE!!!!

One of those pairings is the Bottom 2, and Ryan tries to get him to choose wihch pairing is also safe... Scott refuses, so Ryan drags him to Hayley and James who are both SAFE!!!

Jacob and Lauren are the Bottom 2!

On the one hand, I've wanted Lauren gone since the Hollywood stories broke.

On the other, the only way Jacob could step down his performances would involve live animal strangling as musical accompaniment.

Jumping the Broom, starting tomorrow...

It's a b!tch face duel off.

After the vote the person going home tonight is Jacob.

Anyone surprised?
*crickets*

LUTHER VANDROSS
A House Is Not A Home

...I turned off the TV before he started.

Anyone want to start to predict how long we've got before he announces a startling, totally unexpected revelation to whatever press are willing to show up?

*more crickets*

Uh, I think he's way too Jesus for that.

and for the sake of his sanity, he'd better not either.

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-11 AT 09:02 PM (EST)

A little in that I wasn't expecting Lauren to freefall into B2. (And neither was she -- but I feel she's seen herself as the winner for some time now.) But more than anything else? Relieved. A Worster victory would have gotten rid of Lauren, but at least this saves the remaining fraction of my ability to enjoy music for six more days.

ETA: And note Ryan's one-week-later admission that Scotty's never been in the low group. Last week's game was played for a reason.

Arrived home just in time (about 8:55) from engagement anniversary dinner with DW to see Jacob alone on the stage with Ryan.

Whew. There's an hour just better spent.

Amen to that. Finally Jacob is gone!

LAST EDITED ON 05-05-11 AT 11:32 PM (EST)

I'm disgusted. Jacob gets the boot AND had Jimmy Iovine call him a "6"....notice Lauren and Scotty did not get numbers assigned to them.

BTW, first time since season 5 there's no African-American in the top 4. This...is a different AI.

Is there an agenda change between Lauren and Haley by AI? Or are we just supposed to think that? Haley won't get the pimp spot next week, so she's more on her own to float through.

Where do Jacob's votes go? Nowhere?

Haley's fans are on alert, though.

James' talent was apparent long before AI:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igvibmi202k&feature=related

James recording with some music pros when James was 19...

LOL, James won a COUNTRY Idol contest in California. He's ready for any theme they throw at them for next week.

Here's James singing the National Anthem...he's ready for that gig after AI is over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMX59QqYezU&feature=related

James singng Black Velvet when he won COUNTRY Idol in Cali:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEXs1GnnzR4

LAST EDITED ON 05-06-11 AT 01:33 AM (EST)

I liked that Black Velvet piece. It'd be a great song on one of his albums. And I'm serious, I've never bought an Idol CD or single yet, but James is the first who is giving me cause to reconsider that.

And hey, zazzy. You absolutely have to see this one. I love this song (an all-time fav), and I dig James cover of it.

(p.s. this should probably be in the Individual Contestants & Judges forum, so I'll limit myself to a single reply here.)