They are not lying, either. LOL!

Judges in their seats?

How odd.

And I saw a cut to Kelly Preston, the accidental shooter in Charlie Sheen's crazy mind.

3 weeks away for the Finally!!!!

Top 5 walk in even though they were on stage a minute ago

they have converted Hayley to dressing in neutrals.

Randy says in it to win it again.

Ten songs. Ninety minutes. No way.

Jacob's trying to dance again. Make it stop.

Let's see if they put any of the Anti-Idol quotes in the montage.

Hey, if Nigel can rewrite history to make Daughtry that season's winner...

I was waiting for the lightning strike. Or at least a short in her electronic money clip.

Closer to the Edge. by 30 Seconds to Mars.

Sheryl ready to retire after James.

LAST EDITED ON 05-04-11 AT 08:09 PM (EST)

His voice sounds muffled, even some of the shrieking. Maybe he blew out the hearing of the guy on the sound board.

S. You kicked that song's azz. The way you work the audience, ready for freddy.

J. How is going to take it. You want it, grab it take it.

R. Not everyone was understanding. Great contemp rock song, the album you could make he wants it and in it to win it.

Full Monty Ryan? I don't think you understand what that word means.

I couldn't tell if the problem was James or the sound board guy. You nailed it when you said "muffled".

Yeah, this happened at the end of his song last week.

I think the sound guy is just trying to keep the building's windows intact.

Sound was most definitely off at the beginning of James song.

This is a singing show. Sound mix SHOULD be important. Geesh. Not the first time this season it has been lacking. Fix it, Nigel!

Sheryl ready to retire after James.

*checks Internet*

The support petition is already up.

As far as the performance goes, I bet you could get a really good conspiracy theory site going on whether he was lipsynching that. It felt as if he was the background to the music: just let the song play on while James tries to do something resembling moving to the beat, or the stage directions, or Paul's thrown gears. He keeps getting the stage lighting and fireworks, and he wants the rock star vibe badly enough to taste the metal -- but tonight, it all overwhelmed him.

It felt as if he was the background to the music

It sounded that way, too, and I think it's the sound board guy who's as much to blame. Normally, you hear the music and feel the volume James' notes.

The penultimate stage performer, James owns it. While I didn't really care that much for the vocals with its limited range and high volume (with oft not understandable lyrics) in this song, I smiled as I watched him simply have fun and perform as if in a concert. Thumbs up. Nobody else is going to match that energy level.

True. Scotty tried. James in more of a natural at it.

And for money. And possibly toilet paper.

Is Innerscope Sheryl's label? Could be the reason for the reversal. She's been told to do it.

Gets a stool interview. Gosh that jacket looks like one I'd buy from the Ladies side of the store. Probably closest I'll get to seeing him in drag, huh?

Jordin Sparks, No Air.

It's no wonder he can't breathe. He's suffocating in the Heavenly Fog.

LAST EDITED ON 05-04-11 AT 08:28 PM (EST)

the Heavenly Fog

The sequel to The Fog horror movie!

All I heard was falsetto. Even Phillip Bailey had to think, "WTF?"

That sounded really strained in the rehearsal.

Massive Vibrato to start. What is with the spastic pointing? What was that deep knee bend move? Now fist out? What key is that?

Gah...I actually stopped breathing, No Air indeed?

J. I'm glad you said that in the package about what you want to record. Showmanship and voice one of the best, but I have been struggling with what you would do. Important that represent who you are and what you want to sing. If this is the direction let's cultivate that.

R. I differ, You are one of the greatest singers, I don't think that is the direction and not sing both sides of a duet. Most of that was sharp. I don't see him as either on, you are a church kid. To get to this pop R&B, don't be Chris Brown, Rihanna.

J will not shut up and we are now going way over just from this critique.

S. Waiting for you to find a niche. I love your voice, I'm waiting for that thing that is 100% you.

He promises to bring something new every week. Why, there's more gospel ballads out there than we've ever dreamed of!

Did Jennifer just call him one of the best voices to ever hit the stage? Did Jacob fall on his throat in rehearsal and we all missed it?

Ironically for his first week as Worster champion, he gave one of the better performances of his show life -- but this is also the week when (and I know where I'm going with this) he completely turned into a girl. This was the live version of what Adam dealt with one network over: close your eyes and discover the total abandonment of the male registers, spin your chair around and prepare for a very minor surprise. Jacob had some grasp on the song this time around (because it works so well as a gospel theme?), but the argument can go to 'he still isn't singing as himself' or 'he just did, but he'll never admit it' on any given day. And he doesn't have many of those left.

While Jacob makes a passable attempt with this performance, somehow he and this song don't seem to mix. We hear less of his past vocal brilliance and more of his attempt to fit into a song that's meant for a different type of performer. At least wardrobe toned down the color -- maybe too much this week. He looks and sounds monochromatic.

Why did they let him sing this? Ridiculous!

Flat on the Floor by Carrie Underwood.

Was there not enough fringe left over from DWTS this week? Looks really strange.

J has stank face.

R. Listen man. You know what. That is the direction for you. 100% I love you showing this fun energetic side. I thought it was amazing. Lauren is in it.

S. The way you found your niche, for 15 year old girl, I think you are it.

J. That is what I like to see, you ate that up, you want it. We are looking to see who will rise to the top, just like that every time.

I never thought I'd ever say this, but Lauren's performance was the best so far. I thought she did a good job with the song, and I'm not a country fan.

Wardrobe finally figured out what to do with her! And it only took two months!

Oh, the performance? This was the show's way of locking her into the designated box and making it airtight. If she manages to release an album, that'll be the one and only style she works in. And not very well -- but it's what she knows, it's what might sell, and it's presumably what her mother would be proud of. Just because it wasn't all that good and mostly consisted of a lot of vaguely melodic yelling is no reason not to put it on iTunes, right? See, it's up already. Just like the petition.

Gosh, the Internet is fast.

Surprisingly, one of the best performances by Lauren to date. Some of James must be rubbing off on her, as energetic as she was. Vocally good and fairly entertaining. Thumbs up.

'If my total screen time is less than four minutes, I still get paid, right?'

Lady Antebellum and J. Lo perform tomorrow.

Gone by Montgomery Gentry.

I adjusted the color six times and that shirt still doesn't look right.

Decent performance. He has a lot of work to do on his mobile stage presence and he'd kill a thousand denim trees if he could stalk like James for six weeks, but he managed to get his energy up without losing all credibility. He's safe this week as usual -- but next week is where his danger zone starts to show.

Who put the Kool-Aid in the judges cups? It's a "Scotty tries to be James" performance and it didn't work for me at all. Sure, he did the whole rocker stage thing and got the audience riled up, but I know Scotty would never put on a song like this when he records in the future. Pop popped.

Who put the Kool-Aid in the judges cups?

One very trusted intern, every hour on the hour. (For Steven, every fifteen minutes. Higher tolerance.)

And Steve's is no doubt a cocktail mix.

I drank the Kool-Aid. ;)

Your Kool-Aid stained lips don't lie.

And it's still grapety-suicide good!

I was going to make a Jonestown reference but refrained because it might be too much. I guess I need not have worried and should have gone for it. ;)

I agree with a lot that you write but not on this one. Scotty looked like he was having fun and had been coached on his stage presence. I think it only gets better from here.

He's really getting into it.

S. Scotty my man. That is what America Thinks. Like a Puritan but I saw you dance with the devil tonight. Really beautiful. Whole new side.

J. I lost it there for a second, so excited. Owned that stage, some growling, some American Idol stuff right there.

R. I don't want you to dance with the devil we were at concert Scotty. Rock the stage. If you can do it, this guy is in it to win it too.

Lauren who?

I gotta yank back my praise and throw it at Scotty. Tenfold.
No, not tenfold. A gazillionfold (plus infinity). Stop me before my hyperbole gets worse.

The guy has incredible stage presence, and he will very likely have a great career. Lucky bastage!

some American Idol stuff right there

And her paycheck has convinced her that's a good thing.

I'm hearing some Voices about right now.

Unreleased GaGa Song?

On the coke stool. Jimmy gave it to her, done in her concerts. She got to speak to her to get the OK.

You and I.

What was going through Haley's mind during this performance?

1. "Hey, Scotty gets through by doing country every week. Why not me?"

2. "Vote for my legs!"

3. "Jacob's fog must not have dissipated yet. That's the only reason I keep smelling bus exhaust."

Starts on the stairs, torch singer pose.

I actually like this. Was worried with Unreleased and not being a known song.

J. Hi Baby. I loved the way you sounded, good moments in the song. Cool idea, but not the best advice from Jimmy. You have to showcase yourself with songs people connect to and love. Have such a great voice. I know you can with some great songs. Choose something everyone knew.

Boo says the audience.

R. Not sure it was that great of a song. Josh Stone way. It is so risky that no one is familiar with. Proved it at the end a great singer, may not have done you any favors, but you have a second song.

S. I put all of Hayley in it, made it work, risky thing to do, but I love what you do One perfect song from being the American Idol.

I liked that she performed a song I never heard before, because now I'm not judging her against the original performer. I always found her style lacking when compared to the original.

And while I'm not a fan of the growling, I thought she did this song well. I think the judges drank out of Paula's leftover stash.

Choose something everyone knew

It is so risky that no one is familiar with

'How are we supposed to judge you when we don't have an baseline performance to bash you against! We're not capable of criticizing based on what you're doing! We can only do it based on what everyone else has already done!'

Wherever he is right now, Simon's ribs are aching.

The judges go from "Don't be predictable, push the envelope" to "You shouldn't have taken the risk" so fast it gives you whiplash.

I didn't know the lyrics to this song, and I hardly understood the lyrics during the song, and I had no clue what the song was about after the song. That kind of describes Haley. Sounds like she was trying to coast through this one, hoping no one would notice how she can't sing intelligible lyrics with an unknown song.

Agree. I was going to say "Quick! What's the chorus on this song? Anyone remember?"

Without You by Harry Nielsen.

Deeply touching, genuine and brilliant. That's all.

*nods*

Oh the lyrics made him cry in rehearsal.

Thank goodness he has sleeves on this time. Strings on stage.

Oh really off on the first part of the chorus, and the he starts screaming.

Got tears before the judging.

R. This is a mark of a great performer, could feel your emotion. I tell you that fighting back and give a vocal like you gave, emotionally perfect, that is what the audience really feels. Yours to lose.

S. WHen you sing as good as you do and you let a song get the best of you, that is a beautiful thing. emotions incredible.

J. Everyone knows you can sing, not just the guy who can wail, that is not who you are, the heart and soul, you are a true artist. Serious about winning this thing. Take a lot to control the emotions and deliver what you delievered.

Gotta love Sheryl's reaction during rehearsal. 'Hmmm. Honest human emotion. So that's what it looks like. ...bored now.'

I think the song did overwhelm James. He tried to drop out of his usual high-energy groove and slow down to get the emotions out, but he couldn't keep control of the notes while letting just enough feelings through to color them. I'm filing this one under 'valiant effort', with a subcategory of 'noble failure'. Another five years and he'll be capable of handling this, but -- not now.

Yeah, I was thinking, could he have a very long career keeping up this kind of emotional intensity?

Tell you one thing, though. He's the kind of performer who I would buy by the album, for all its variety, instead of the singles.

I just wanted to give him a hug and tell him "It's ok."

What I like about James is that he gives in his performance. He doesn't hold back. He shares his joy and pleasure of the heavy metal, and he has shown the fun he can have in the group numbers. And here, even though he was pitchy and emotional, it worked. Made me tear up.

I'm not sure if I'd want the trite judges' comments to fall under a "take a drink if they say..." or just write out squares for a Bingo game.

If we did take a drink for every time Steven said "Beautiful", Jen said "Amazing!" or Randy said, "In it to win it", we'd be under the table in 10 minutes.

Maybe they'd be better placed in AI Bingo instead.

Rock side with a Nazareth hit?
Love Hurts.

Falsetto, insincere, incomprehensible gospel.

*drops slug into collection plate*

*live slug*

The Worsters have chosen -- wisely.

Worst renditions of one of my all time favorites.

Damn thee Jacob.

Did we agree?

Did we agree?

With flying colors, so to speak.

That depends. Did you get the headache on the left, right, or both sides simultaneously?

The last time someone had a harp out on stage, it was noted that the proper thing to do would have been swinging it down over the performer to use it as a giant cheese slicer. Opinion stands.

Both sides, shooting all the way down my spine.

Now I got to go to youtube to hear, oh, almost any other version of that song to get the Luskiness out of my head.

Dave has a knack with his choices.

Did you catch the quick cut to Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) in the audience? I chuckled thinking about how the character could really make "love hurt".

I saw that.

Sure, but if you try to eat Jacob's brains, you'll just get Mad Diva Disease. And he'll be exactly the same.

What wine do you pair with Diva?

Something young and fruity.

Nah. It's Jacob. You have to serve whine.

Jimmy wants them to take risks, Does he own a bus company or something?

Harp on the stage. Starts off in falsetto, drops out to full voice and it is a bit jarring. Taking it to church at the end.

S. I'm a sucker for passion, got lost in the song, what a delivery, a beautiful thing.

J. I don't think everyone heard the bobble, bring out the tricks at the end. Hear that type of vocal takes you to another places. Really good.

R. This is what is good, redeemed yourself on this one. I could be wrong, but the highest note ever on this stage. What is going on up in here man.

#1. Highest note ever sung on the stage? What a short-term memory that one has, not even going back to last season. The reason the Voice coaches seem to have so much credibility is that they haven't spent an entire season burning theirs yet. The local numbers are going negative.

#2. When Jacob was declaring how much love hurt, it sounded as if the devotion of his life had kicked him in the crotch.

Perfect arrangement. Heavenly harp, brass trumpets and horns to the side, chorus to the other side, and Jacob floating on stage, registering notes clear up to cloud nine. This is where Jacob belongs. But you won't find his CD on my shelf.

You mean we're supposed to buy the music from the Idol contestants?

Hah!

As large a CD collection as I have, there's not a single Idol on those shelves.

James is the only one giving me reason to reconsider that.

Give him time to disappoint you. There's still a chance.

I fuckin' HATED how he butchered that. Everything I don't like about him he did in that song.

By the way, the Gram Parsons-Emmylou Harris version of that song is the finest ever done.

Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers. Mom and Dad's song.

lonely are the notes
with no voice
to sing them
stupid is the arrangement
of this song

idiots are the voters
dialing on
autopilot
so this stupid teen
will go on

Huh? Not sure about that.

F. Nothing to judge there, beautiful song sung beautifully, nothing to judge.

R. Saw some runs can sing like a bird, see this other side of you. Other vibe, tender moment.

S. Your singing is so ripe so there just looking for that just right song. Just beautiful, nothing to judge.

I just realized: Lauren implied this song is responsible for her existence.

...I can never listen to it again.

Thanks. I threw up a little in my mouth.

I thought the taste would wake you up.

There are people some probably can't imagine as having sex. And there are ones you just shouldn't.

Bleuuuuurgh! Stop. You're making it worse.

*snore*

Huh? She's done? Finally.

My first thought on hearing this performance is that it was something I'd hear at a wedding reception dance. Ok performance by Lauren, who is showing some versatility and vocal quality, likely cementing her place in the top three.

Elvis--You Were Always On My Mind

Jimmy realized the contradiction of be who you are, but do something different.

I was hoping he'd do the Pet Shop Boys version.

They'll pay Jimmy enough to forget it by next week.

On a stool, leaning, but singing straight into the mic for a change.

J. wants to go, you show us what a well rounded artist you are. Can rock out then captivate, so beautiful. Nothing awkward about you. So comfortable, a true performer.

R. our youngest veteran, if it ain't broke don't fix it. Quiet and simplest things can get the loudest reaction. They are seeing the record you will make and the concert. Love it.

S. America loves your voice, just taking us up and down the trail. Everyone has been so good. Can't pick that apart. Perfect.

Hmmm... the whole second half of the show has gone into slow mode with all those "tender moments" and "beautiful voices". Good performance by Scotty, showing yet another side to him, but I can't imagine that he'd record very many of these types of songs. I'll give him a pass here, although I didn't find this performance to be a memorable one.

But he's singing to his pre-teen fangirls. And the cougars.

Where is Maroonclown tonight?

Why yes, I was thinking about her when I posted that.

Not to mention zazzy and whimsey with her drink and snacks of the night. And a few others, like that guy in Texas. *sigh*

* waves hi*...watched the show on a bit later timing, so just making coments now.

Animals--The House Of the Rising Sun.

Growl. Heel-kick. Strut.

Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.

So let me guess. Song too well known, shouldn't pick something that you'll be compared to ______ with.

R. What I love about this show, every week someone slaying it like they want to win it. Best performance of the night goes to Hayley. Grown by leaps and bounds, amazing.

S.Sweet and Sour, raspy, can relate. That really sells a song, you sold everybody.

J. Not sure if a little angry, sing my butt off. Never sung like that before.

I've heard this version before. Everyone's heard this version before. Just about every singer who's ever glanced at this song has tried it as this version, with just about the same lack of success and generally an equal lack of skin coverage, although the fog level varies a bit. Haley slowed it down so much, the sun had time to rise between notes. And set. And rise. And cue the calendar pages flying by, turning months into years, which is subjectively how long it took to get through this song.

But don't worry, Sheryl. The important thing is that you still get paid.

LAST EDITED ON 05-04-11 AT 10:01 PM (EST)

Siobhan, where are you? She did a better cover of this, also starting a cappella (and what we said then).

This classic song knows no pretenders, and while Haley made a go of it, it'll be forgotten with the other pretender performances. I thought she made a decent start of it, with just the voice and then slowly bringing in the instrumentals while staying in the same groove. But about halfway through, the real Haley shows up with the yodels and moos in an attempt to jazz it up.

Thanks for the snark. I really need to make something for dinner now. I can't live on chocolate covered salted caramels, can I?

Take care everyone, hope Jacob leaves tomorrow...

... too! Tip of the hat to Snidget and another round of Kool-Aid for the rest of us!