at least, he was in tune

With what?

was he pitchy at all?

Never mind the pitch, which was all over the place if you compare his fractions of a note sharp or flat to the perfectly tune musical instruments. Seriously, I couldn't even tell which key he was singing in.

i must be deaf then.

Well, in any case, we heard it differently, even though the sound was the same.

To Miley, to Lee, to Paige, to Urban and to everyone on this show tonight so far:

ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?

I'm suffering from vertigo so I have to keep my comments and my use of the computer extremely limited.

That.is.all

I'm DVRing to watch later (after kiddie bedtime) but this comment, in particular, has me thinking that sleep may be preferable.

Oh my.

Oh, please, let me be the next victim in this horror story.

I commented to Mr. Fro during dinner that I don't think we've heard the usual proclamations about how this is the Best Season Ever and the Most Talented Season Ever from Simon & Co.

I can't say I wonder why.

I'm glad I did the DVR thing - cut the show in half for me.

I repeat:

Teen Idol Week would have been better.

I got a legal letter from Fuller and Co. that stated I had to let him out of basement or else.

That.is.all

Oh hon, we all know that is not all.

Gets a stool interview.

He got the tonsillitis and laryngitis that is going around. Gets Debbie's clip board and writes.

He might have a little crush on Miley.

“I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”

Jellyfish swim on the big screen. I wish they were stinging me. Nice deadly jellyfish, save me from this moment, forever.

If I sway like the swaybots will it make my ears stop bleeding?

Gosh they hated on Tim, but at least he could find the right key.

Randy. It wasn't perfect, a couple of pitch things. Thank God you were singing. What is going on tonight. I like you and you are really talented. I'm a fan.

Ellen. That was a perfect song choice. I can tell you were sick. You have such an amazing voice and in the third grade. I see your career already.

Kara. Best song choice of the night. Week to week you know how to pick a song that shows consistency. Won't beat you up on the vocals. More stage presence.

Simon. It was brave, your sick. You are a little trier aren't you. Making yourself old fashioned for your age. Zero chance you will go home. Then he tries to fix you up with Miley.

Ryan calls him David Archuleta.

I wasn't wow'ed by him, but his was the first genuinely honest performance of the night. I like him.

I think the judges were at the point where they were going to praise anything that didn't end in a fatality. (Severe mutilation still counts.)

*sigh*

I wish I drank.

He was better last week with "Angie".

didn't think it was that good. lots of potentials but he needs a lot of training.

Okay, can she dress any more slutty? Looks like she cut the crotch out of her jean shorts. I did that once when I was 14 but Mom wouldn't let me wear them. And it was actually a mistake because I didn't know that you needed the crotch part to actually wear them. I was just really trying to get them as short as possible.

*wanders over to OT to figure out if it fits in the topic of things we didn't know, or things we screwed up on, or something like that.*

Okay, can she dress any more slutty?

I can take a survey.

I think that was a rhetorical question.

Is she the most useless mentor evah?

“Bobby McGee”

Gets Miley to sign her guitar.

No, no, no, no...

*repeat*

DH thought that was alright. At least she got rid of those wrinkles and her palor is back.

I think she may be getting better.

They did an updo with her dreads.

First verse was so quiet I almost couldn't hear it. Better on the chorus. Rocks it out at the end.

Randy. Yo, Yo, listen. Check this out. America. That is what is called being a star. You slay it you sing what is in your heart. That is what it is about. I am so happy now.

Ellen. I was driving and this song came on and I thought you should sing it. Nothing wrong. Consistently great. We are missing a bit of personality. Something between you and us. You are kind of stoic. A little more connection and take it in. They love you.

She says she has big plans for next week and says she is getting the love.

Kara. I heard you say something last week, were you thinking about anything. Would you consider putting the guitar down. I said I had plans for next week. Kara would like to see her let go.

Simon. I wouldn't change anything. I've heard Pink sing that version and that was as good as that. This is about finding a recording artist. I've seen you progress, you are doing your thing. Took a song nailed it and your only gimmick is a carpet.

Gets Ryan to sit on the carpet with her.

Good performance, pleasing to watch and listen to, although I wasn't thrilled by it. She does look a lot healthier this week and it was reflected in her play and song.

She is very talented. But for some reason I am getting bored with her. I hope she really does change it up next week.

Yeah, it seems like a lot of the same with her. Before she can earn her comparison to Janis, she needs to mix it up.

Ditto. It was fun waiting for her pass out on the stage but now that she's healthy, she makes me yawn.

This week is so bad to make Alvin and the Chipmunk Squeekqual look good.

If he competed in this season, Alvin would make the tour.

“When a Man Loves a Woman”

Strings and piano on stage.
A bit of slo-mo walrus dance. And there is the glory note.

Randy. May not be the perfect song or the best vocal. You know who you are. Sing the I don't know what out of who you are.

Ellen. I did feel like it was a safe choice. Amazing tone. This woman loves that man.

Kara. I love you. Technically it was really good. I felt it was a bit boring and loungey. Over-indulgent too many riffs. I lost my connection but I still love you.

Simon. I kind of know what you are saying. Too many scoops of ice cream. I would have taken all this off the stage and you very simple. Could have been 30 years ago. Trying to make an old school song relevant. You've got tons of charisma and a good voice and people like you.

I really like this guy. He's got total command of his voice, know who he is, and you can tell he's putting his heart into it. No question he's professional recording artist material. I'd like to see him change it up a bit, maybe pick up a faster song with more beat in it. Thumbs up for a fav.

Big Mike is likeable. But his singing bores me.

I wish I was in a lounge right now.

It was tolerable, but 'tolerable' ain't savin' this night.

Right now anyone that doesn't shatter my eardrums is welcome relief.

Miley wants to do him, just to peeve her dad off.

“I Heard it Through the Grapevine”

Forgot the words when with Miley. Made him lose the guitar and he is keeping it off.

I didn't like it.

This show needs Donald!

Four in a taxi! Come on! He did before and he can do it again! Start firing people! Left, right, center, overhead and underfoot! I need at least a near-third of these people gone and I need them gone now!

The judges should be ashamed of themselves. They put these people in the Top 24 and gave them a chance to be voted into the Top 12. Surely there were better singers than alot of these.

Peeps on the stage with him, again.

Oh the hand signals in case we don't get the lyrics.

And some squats every so often as an added bonus.

Randy. Dawg man. It wasn't good. Listen. Wrong song, not the kind of vocal that you are. Wasn't good.

Ellen. You know how much I love you. I hope your fans vote for you. Won't get people on board. Not a good song choice.

Andrew loves everyone.

Kara. you are chasing that moment and you don't know what to do and you are confused. I don't know who that was, that wasn't you. You have to go back to the moment you are far from that. I feel sick saying that.

Simon. We just over-rated that moment. It was a cute version. You have had enough time to find yourself. The arrangement was horrific. Sucked the soul and tortured it and ruined one of the great pop songs of all time. Made yourself really really corny. You are in front of 10s of millions any artist should be able to nail and find a great song.

thought the performance was good. at least. i enjoyed it.

Honest question: Have you ever heard this song before?

yes, i have. i think i just like his style of singing or whatever you call it.

Yikes. This is the worst rendition of one of my favorite songs I've ever heard. My fav is the CCR version and I can play and sing it better than he did and I'm a terrible singer.

Can't we just vote at least three off already?

You know it's a bad night when you and I are on the same firewood-stacking page.

I missed Andrew. I was busy cleaning out the basement.

"Big Girls Don't Cry" The Fergie Song. I wanted it to be the oldie one, not this one. Oh well.

I don't know if this an issue with the song itself, because Fergie is a bit of a "one-noter" to me, but she was pretty monotone to me.

I do like this song but it's not a vocal stretch by any means.

They are so close to getting the synchronized knee bends fully programed into this one.

At least she seemed to be close to on pitch and not way to low at the start like most of them.

Randy. I like you are listening about the younger thing.

Ellen. You best performance, you are evolving. The Dakota Fanning of American Idol.

Kara. Simon do you still think she is country? This is where you belong. Still have pitch issues.

Simon. I think you meeting Miley was the best thing. Similar age. The way you look tonight compared to the pageant. It is chalk and cheese. Not sure you are believable in this area. You'd get a more loyal market and I am right. It was a good performance.

This has been one very long show. Way too many forgettable and awful songs.

I think I need to desecrate a few less shrines.

Either that or a few more. I can't really tell at this point.

I'd just place her in the Mediocre Middle. I almost dozed off at the beginning of that song until the music suddenly got loud. Ok performance for her I guess, and she'll be around for a little while given the lack of talent on the Boring Bottom.

i wish they could eliminate more than one contestant tomorrow. i don't want to listen to paige or katie anymore. where did they get these people?

I just saw a lipstick commercial with Vanessa Paradis, aka Mrs. Johnny Depp. OMG. I have no words. First time I've seen her outside of still photograph. OMG. OMG. Not good. Not good at all.

Stool interview. He had fun in rehearsal.

“Power of Love” the Huey Lewis and News song.

LAST EDITED ON 03-23-10 AT 08:38 PM (EST)

He's hot.

ETA - I would have liked to have seen him move away from the mike, throw his guitar over his shoulder because he had those two dancing-fiend guitar players on stage, and grab the mike and move around the stage.

Playing the electric guitar. Well at least a few notes on it every so often.

Gosh I never thought of Huey Lewis as a really good singer before. Halfway through this, Huey seems like a freakin' vocal genius.

Randy. I am a fan of yours. Best guitar player. Did it well. I believed it.

Ellen. Not a fan of the song choice, best vocal of the night.

????

Kara. You are ready to make an album, you are there and it gets better and better.

?????????

Simon. I don't know what you are listening to Kara. That was old fashioned 25 years ago. An identical version. Like an 80's cover band. No effort, no originality. Maybe it is just me.

It isn't just you Simon, it isn't just you.

Ellen. Not a fan of the song choice, best vocal of the night.

????

Kara. You are ready to make an album, you are there and it gets better and better.

?????????

Where's Paula when we need her????????

Singer's Credit Card Rejected: Thrown Off Train

I thank Casey for waking me up. I have been dozing off alot tonight. Not great, but I enjoyed it for what it was.

Not bad, at last something like what I had hoped to listen to tonight, although I think he fell way short of Huey Lewis. His rhythm and tone was good, but I wasn't that impressed with his vocals. Also, he didn't move with the rhythm himself, like he was glued in front of the mike until the last riff on the axe. Ok, he'll pass.

“You’re No Good”

I like Didi a lot but would it be wrong of me to point out that she looked obese next to Miley? What does that say about the Mile-ster? Eat some pasta or something?

standing on the stairs of doom. Guys playing on the stage. Guitar player sitting on the edge and guy playing bass on the other side.

Song lyrics work well with the ##### faces she throws. With her voice, not so much.

Randy. I love the idea of it, the pitch was a little all over the place. Never quite caught.

Ellen. I don't get the song choices tonight. Not the right song for you. You are good, but I didn't get that song choice.

Kara. Playing a character. Dramatic. Like you were trying to be something you aren't.

Simon. Irony to screeching out you're no good over and over. It was like a musical. The bad part of the musical. Playing off the bass player. Didn't sound like you. Fell into the trap that Lacey did last week. Sucked the life out of you.

Talking back to the judges. Wanted to do something different.

Lots of people wanting to have fun tonight. Not wanting to be good or entertaining.

you're no good
you're no good
baby you're no good

i'm sick of saying it again

*echo* You're no good...

Didn't like the fakery at all. Rather disappointing performance for Didi.