• RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,jeffred, 03:44 PM, 08-13-03
• RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,MCFixer, 05:19 PM, 08-13-03
• RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,BlackSheep, 05:33 PM, 08-13-03
  • RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,toddE, 06:45 PM, 08-13-03
    • RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,cqvenus, 11:19 AM, 08-14-03
      • RE: Boy Meets Boy 08/12/03,bawesq3, 09:13 PM, 08-21-03

Once Mikey said he was bi, I thought man, this is gonna be some great backpeddaling to get outta that hole!

His opinion unfortunately has to be viewed through the 'reality tv show' lense. I think the gay community can be very supportive and inclusive of everyone, and at the sametime I've watched guys pull out the Attitude and completely rip someone to shreds. I love living in the supportive sections of the Gaytteos, but when it gets nasty, I can't get away fast enough. The mates house was a very close environment. It would've almost been fun to watch James have to take them out to one of the bars in PS. Then you would've seen a real cross section of the community.

I'm not sure if you can really compare comfort levels of gay and straight men. Both have different issues at play. The observation Michael made was by an outsider looking in (even if he lived the life for a few days).

Gay men are just as guilty of big fat attitudes as straight men, its just our attitudes manifest itself differently. Gay men have different attitudes about sex and sexuality, and that allows us to be free to be open about those issues with each other (and trusted straight friends). Pity the poor queen who crosses the invisible line of acceptable behavior, and Drama will unfold, the likes of which would make Joan Crawford flinch!
Michael was just lucky he didn't cross the line!

MCFixer
"comfortable, but prepared for Drama"

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but wanted to interject something I observed when Michael slipped the beans and said he's a fence rider.

Gay or lesbian, I've seen some real nasty behavior when a 'fence rider' comes clean. More times than not, the true gay/lesbian will be 'ok' with someone being bi, as long as they aren't dating the 'bi' person. It's really strange how clique non-breeders treat those in the middle (no pun intended) when at the same time they want the breeders to treat them as equals. It's like, which damn team are you on?

Since when were we divided by teams in the first place?

Now to not completely hijack the threat, I'd have to say it really depends on the individual himself. Sure there are alot of gay men that are extremely comfortable with their sexuality, I think in general straight men may not feel insecure about their sexuality but imho would be chastized if they even thought about a gay encounter and have to beat their chests to prove their manhood. Maybe I'm wrong.

I'd say the conventional wisdom is that for men, bi=homo. I think any guy who admits to attraction/sexual experience with men is considered gay by pretty much everyone. My amateur analysis is that gay guys resent "bi" guys because it's the equivalent of "passing" in the past by mixed-race people.

Conversely, for women bi=straight. Everyone loves the sexy girls who like guys and other sexy girls. These women will be judged by a few, but accepted by most. Just watch a few episodes of "5th Wheel" to see the straight girls macking each other, or see Jolie, Angelina. Culturally generalizing, it's ok as long as they're hotties.

My amateur analysis is that gay guys resent "bi" guys because it's the equivalent of "passing" in the past by mixed-race people

I think you're mostly right about this, SORT of.

I think everyone is pretty much bi. I think we just LEAN towards one side or another. That being said, I think the people most afraid of admitting they lean toward the gay side are the most likely to say things like "I'm bi."

My friend (now admittedly gay) was still unsure. He told his friend (openly gay all along) that he thinks he might just be bi. This 2nd friend said "yeah, I was bi, too, when I was like, 15!" Basically, he was saying being bi is like a state of denial. I think this might be true for men. But I think the best thing people can do is understand that everyone goes through that phase of denial and not try to belittle the person over it, and just know that it will pass, and you'll figure out which way you lean.

- just my opinions