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Original Message
"Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 08-01-07 at 10:32 PM
You know, as soon as I heard this logline...

A guy wakes up in a dress

I could just imagine Zacks entry:


Bonus Feature 3:

Our boring couple falls asleep in the car. The guy reaches over to fondle the girlfriend, and accidentally hits the button on the box. They end up in the middle of Braveheart, but in costume this time, as the more you use that stupid box, the more "immersed" in the movie you become.

Ok, so it's a kilt. It's still better than the inevitable "I got drunk and put on your dress" dreck that is sure to be the theme of the night.

Anyway, lets have some fun. What would your storyline be?

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Messages in this discussion
"RE: Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by What a crock on 08-02-07 at 09:52 AM
LAST EDITED ON 08-02-07 AT 10:06 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 08-02-07 AT 10:05 AM (EST)

During the last episode of on the lot guy becomes brain washed by subliminal messages from Ford thus becoming a Ford whore. Spends the night whoring and drawing in customers for Ford. By dawn brainwashing wears off leaving guy wondering if it was all a bad dream. Realization that wasn't a dream becomes clear after the phone rings and it turns out to be Fox offering him a job as host for the next episode as he is able to flash more cleavage than Adrianna

"RE: Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 08-02-07 at 10:26 AM
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!


"RE: Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by Cathy the Canadian on 08-02-07 at 10:55 PM
Lol What a crock, and welcome to the boards!
"Another story line"
Posted by cahaya on 08-02-07 at 02:02 PM
LAST EDITED ON 08-02-07 AT 09:06 PM (EST)

Brother and Sister, Yin and Yang by cahaya

Pan to sunny, nouveau riche suburban California, to the long, wide driveway of a million-dollar two-story stucco-theme house. Zoom in on a red 2007 Ford Mustang Shelby Cobra GT500 with a couple of surfboards mounted on the roof pulling into the driveway. After a closeup shot of the car profile and Ford logo, a teenage boy and girl hop out of the car, enter the house and into the brightly lit plushly furnished living room with cultural artifacts on glass-topped end-tables tastefully populating much of the room.

While the teenage girl in a California teen-style summer dress sits on the couch, deftly sending messages from her cellphone, the teenage guy in jeans and a Green Day concert t-shirt disappears and then returns with a bag of certified organic chips and Evian bottled water. Both guy and girl look attractive, and we notice a clear physical similarity between the two. The body language between each other has an uncanny likeness, yet a distance, that tells us they're brother and sister, possibly twins.

A woman's voice sings from upstairs. "Patricia?"

Switch camera to wide sweeping stairs with original Asian and African cultural objects and arts hanging along the high-ceiling stairway. Workout-ready mom hops and skips down the stairs, obviously in a rush. "Dave called."

Patricia's already glum expression turns into a grimace. "Ok, mom."

Mom either doesn't notice or doesn't think it's a big deal as she rushes for the front door. As she opens the door, she has two more action items to unload from her already overworked multi-tasking memory. "Don't forget to take the trash out tonight, Patrick. Dinner's in the microwave." Without waiting for a reply, she disappears behind the massive front-door which slams shut in her haste.

"Take out the trash, take out the trash," Patrick cynically mimics his mom.

Patricia: "Oh, cut it out, bro. That's, like, easy stuff. I've got bigger problems."

Patrick: "Dave again?"

Patricia: "Yeah. Dave wouldn't even notice me in the garbage can, much less take me out. Anytime he calls here instead of my cell phone, it means, like, he doesn't really want to talk to me. It's all a fake."

Patrick: "Like I've got it any better with Andrea. We were doing great and then, pfft. I don't understand girls."

Patricia: "And I don't understand guys."

Patrick: "Well, guys understand guys."

Patricia: "And girls understand girls. (Pause, as if thinking of something.) Wouldn't it be nice if we could switch for a while, bro? So we could figure this stuff out?"

Patrick: "You and your weird ideas, sis. But, yeah, it'd be cool to be a girl for a while and listen to all the real girl talk. Maybe I could figure Andrea out that way. She's so hot, I'd do almost anything to be with her."

Patricia: "Almost anything? Really? I'd like to figure Dave out too. I have an idea."

Patrick (eying Patricia suspiciously): "Ok, what are you thinking?"

Patricia gets up and walks halfway up the stairway. On the wall is a small Chinese mural of a man and a woman swirled around like a yin-yang or '69', but without any physical contact. Patricia gently takes the small mural down and shows it to Patrick.

Patricia: "Dad said he found this in Hong Kong. He said that this mural is about a twin brother and sister, like us. The story is that they wanted to switch bodies. It's supposed to be magical and it's supposed to only work for twins."

Patrick: "Oh, that's a bunch of hocus-pocus."

Patricia: "But would you do it if we could? Maybe for, like, a few days?"

Patrick: (snort) "Yeah, maybe. But that's all nonsense."

Patricia: "Dad said that all a pair of twins had to do was read these characters over here, together, three times in a row. Then, after falling asleep and waking up together, the twins find themselves switched. To undo it, they read it one more time together. After that, it won't work anymore. Dad also said there was a mysterious saying he couldn't figure out - 'twice unhappy, twice switched'. He actually believes in that stuff and warned me not to even think of even trying it."

Patrick: "You serious? Like, no way. I know you learned Chinese at school, but not magic!"

Patricia: "Well, if it doesn't work, no harm trying right? I'll probably have to read it in the Mandarin court dialect. But let's do it upstairs in case Dad shows up early from his anthropology conference."

Patrick: "Oh, all right. If it makes you happy. You always get me in trouble, y'know?"

Patricia: (sassy tone) "That's because I'm older than you."

Patrick: "Only by three minutes. And those had to be the longest three minutes of my life. Let's go upstairs and get this over with."

With Patricia carrying the mural and Patrick following behind her, they go upstairs (and past the blank spot on the wall where the mural used to be) and into Patricia's neat, spacious and well-decorated bedroom. They sit on Patricia's bed, facing each other cross-legged, with the mural on Patricia's lap. Wordlessly, Patricia looks at Patrick and Patrick nods.

Patricia: "Here's how it reads: shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn. Now say it once by yourself so you're sure you've got it right. And then we'll do it together three times. shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn."

Patrick: "shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn."

Patricia: "Right. Now, on three. One, two, three..."

Patrick and Patricia together: "shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn. shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn. shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn."

Patrick looks baffled and anxious as nothing happens.

Patricia: "Don't worry, we need to take a nap and wake up together first. Then, if this works, we'll be switched. Maybe we should lie down like those twins in the mural here."

Patricia puts the mural down on her nearby desk, takes a pillow from the head of the bed and puts it down at the foot of the bed and lies down. Patrick lies down with her in the opposite direction, both of them curling around each other but not touching. Suddenly, they both drop into a deep sleep.

(Special effects of brother and sister asleep in modern bedroom, transforming into an ancient Chinese bedroom setting with cushion sets. The room slowly swirls, the pair swirling with it, then fade out, leading to sunlight.)

Back in the modern California suburban bedroom, the girl wakes up first. She yawns, rubs her eyes and stretches, eyes suddenly opening as she realizes what she is wearing. "Omigawd!" In a panic, her hands first grab the summer dress she is wearing, and then slowly up to her softly rounded chest and then quickly back down to her soft, but empty crotch. She reaches over to the guy lying down next to her and shakes him roughly. "Patricia! Patricia!"

The guy wakes up and, still in a blur, asks, "What is it, Patrick?"

Patrick (the girl): "Look!"

Patricia (the guy) looks at Patrick (the girl) in a moment of silence. Then Patricia jolts up and her hands move over her flat chest and only takes a brief glance down below to confirm that something is there that wasn't there before. She looks up at Patrick.

Patricia (almost nonchalantly): "You look weird as a girl, Patrick."

Patrick (still in a panic): "I don't like this, Patricia. It's like, not me. Or you."

Patricia: "Didn't you want to try this out so you could find out what girls are like?"

Patrick: "Not now. I, like, thought that hocus-pocus stuff wouldn't work anyway. But being in your body freaks me out, sis. And you being in mine freaks me out even more. Let's switch back before we screw something up."

Patricia: "Yeah, I think you're right. This feels too weird for me to want to even see somebody. It's like what I had up here went down there and it's, like, more crowded down there than it is in a bra."

Patrick: "Keep your hands away from there or it'll get even more crowded, sis. Heck, I feel weird even calling you sis, with you in my body. And when mom and dad come home, we'll flub up and freak them out too. As soon as one of them shouts one of our names, the wrong one of us will come running."

Patricia: "I think you're right. We couldn't keep up this charade very long at all. Let's undo it now."

Patrick: "Ok. What was that phrase again?"

Patricia: "shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn. Are you ready? Same deal, except just once this time."

Patrick: "Got it. shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn."

Patricia: "Ok... three, two, one..."

Patrick and Patricia: "shua-ng ba-o ta-i tì huàn."

As before, they both lie down and quickly fall asleep as if drugged.

(As before, special effects of brother and sister asleep in modern bedroom, transforming into an ancient Chinese bedroom setting with cushion sets. The room slowly swirls, the pair swirling with it, then fade out, leading to sunlight.)

Shot of stairway, with mural still missing. Sound of front door opening, footstep getting louder, then the twin's mom enters the shot, looking puzzled at the missing mural.

Mom: "Patrick? Patricia? Are you home?"

The shot follows mom up the stairs, into the hallway. She peers into Patrick's boy-teen bedroom, which is empty. Then she opens the door to Patricia's bedroom and at first looks puzzled, and then shocked.

(Closeup shot, zooming in at mom's face, centered on her mouth.) Then mom loudly screams.

Quick shot of birds in the trees in the yard suddenly fluttering out of the trees.

Return shot to Patricia's bedroom, moving and zooming towards Patricia's bed. On the way, the shot passes over Patricia's desk and the mural sitting on top of it. The mural has changed, and only a glimpse shows why. The twins in the mural look out of place, too modern in dress.

The low-angle shot moves to the bed and sitting there, awake, still in the stupor of sleep, are the bodily profiles of brother and sister in Chinese dress and...

(Moving shot upwards towards from their legs and chests towards their faces.)

Chinese faces.


A Sharnina Production

"RE: Another story line"
Posted by Silvergirl1 on 08-02-07 at 07:18 PM

I love it, Cayaha. I wish you were making this for next week's show.


A 2007 Sharnina original


"RE: Another story line"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 08-02-07 at 09:14 PM
Cayaha, this is marvelous! Is the painting based on a true oriental myth?


Sharina beached me!

"RE: Another story line"
Posted by cahaya on 08-02-07 at 09:55 PM
Not that I know of, although it wouldn't surprise me if there was a similar kind of story line like this somewhere in Chinese folklore. I didn't really come up with the double-switch ending until I was halfway through writing the story line and thought to add it as a final twist, with only a few minor edits to keep the story in line.

"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by mistyrose52 on 08-04-07 at 10:41 AM
YOU should be on that show! You'd do a heck of a lot better at writing some story lines, than some of them are doing!!

Great job-maybe one or two of them will read this and take a hint, huh? Good one!

After reading THAT, I can't even think of a S/L!

"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by cahaya on 08-04-07 at 06:51 PM
You make an interesting comment about the aspiring directors having to come up with a story line (basically a short script). Most professional directors don't write the story lines but instead have professional script writers do that work. Then there are story board artists/writers who sketch out the scenes visually in line with the script.

So, in a way, the On the Lot aspiring directors are doing a lot more than directing. They write the script, maybe sketch out the story board, direct (or even do) the shooting of the film, and then do the editing along with special effects. That's a lot to ask of a non-professional, and I think that's largely why the clips we see aren't up to professional quality. They're being asked to more than just direct the film.


A Sharnina Production

"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by Sunny_Bunny on 08-04-07 at 09:47 PM
I so agree. Had they ran this show more along the formula of project runway, they could have fixed that problem. Just as the fashion designers had models that also competed, the directors could have had writers.


"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by Cathy the Canadian on 08-04-07 at 10:29 PM
That's a good idea Sunny Bunny - alternatively, Burnett could have taken inspiration from his OWN show - Rockstar INXS and Rockstar Supernova. The way they did song selection was, all the songs were posted on a board, and they had to decide amongst themselves who got what song.

They could have done the same thing here. All the scripts are on the table when they get back from the show, and they decide who gets what.

"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by qwertypie on 08-05-07 at 08:59 PM
That means they would have to pay for script writers.
"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by cahaya on 08-05-07 at 09:03 PM
I'd gladly take a tenth of the contract prize money, $100,000, for the job.

"RE: Geez, Cahaya"
Posted by BlueLies on 08-05-07 at 09:33 PM
LAST EDITED ON 08-05-07 AT 09:36 PM (EST)

"...the directors could have had writers."

I couldn't agree with you more, why not include new and/or undiscovered writers and double the potential benefits of this show exponentially?

-----

"I'd gladly take a tenth of the contract prize money.."

I couldn't agree with you more, a great way to get your foot in the door and prove yourself, see if you are not a one-hit-wonder, do it again, and then, if you're lucky, pursue a future in six figures+. Why couldn't they have thought of that? Hmmm, maybe next season, if there is a next season.

"RE: Another story line"
Posted by BlueLies on 08-05-07 at 09:25 PM
LAST EDITED ON 08-05-07 AT 09:30 PM (EST)

"Pan to sunny, nouveau....Chinese faces."

Interesting. It would be nice to find someone to balance each other out.

If you are male, who would you cast yourself as a female?

or

If you are female, who would you cast yourself as a male?

Everything hinges on remembering what it like to be your former self to truly appreciate the differences in your present reality. Conjures up all sorts of questions.

Interesting.

-----

"They're being asked to more than just direct the film."

I noticed that too. The thing is, on a 1 million dollar budget, they wont have the money to buy the rights from an established author, so I think that is one of the reasons why Carrie Fisher gets on them so much about "no talkies... more dialogue" -- they want to know what fresh ideas these new directors have of their own. If I were an investor, I would want to know too.

At the same time, it's almost as if these new directors haven't pondered the world very much. Either way, they've made it this far, I'm sure their futures are very bright.

"RE: Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by BlueLies on 08-05-07 at 09:07 PM
LAST EDITED ON 08-05-07 AT 09:10 PM (EST)

A man wakes up in a dress, rolls out of bed, and can't remember what happened the night before.

He feels a little hung over, but has no alcohol on his breath.

He takes a shower, shaves, eats breakfast, and decides to get dressed for work... opens his closet to find that he only has dresses to wear. Hmmm, his hair has grown overnight also. It's now shoulder length and frosted blonde. Strange.

He decides to put another dress on, as he has nothing else to wear. The perm in his hair causes it to dry rather curly. He has chosen to ignore the full spectrum of make-up he saw earlier on the vanity in his bathroom.

"I'll just go to work, and ask Larry WTF is going on, yeah, that's what I'll do."

He grabs the mail on the way out to his car. Hmmm...
- An electrolysis bill for legs, back, chest and bikini region.
- An appointment reminder for hormone replacement therapy.
- A magazine renewal notice for "Electrical Appliances for the Modern Day Woman."
- A crumpled up note written on the back of a bar napkin from Larry dated the Friday before.... "Peter call me as soon as you read this. Don't go to work. Just Call me."

Eh, Peter just shrugs it off. He'll just talk to Larry at work.

Weird thing about his commute, it's strangely familiar yet there's not another man in sight for miles. The guy in the VW bug who cuts him off every morning must have lended his car to his girlfriend. Sports-Tip Charlie at the news stand must be out sick today, but his wife, oooo, his wife looks just like him, m-mm-mmaybe that'd his sister, even Vinnie at the toll booth isn't there today, and he hasn't missed a day in the 15 years Peter has been making this commute.

Feeling rather embarrassed about his appearance, Peter sneaks up the stairs at work, luckily sneaks into Larry's office, and waits in the corner until he returns.

He notices all of the photos on the wall....

Some woman holding Larry's hockey trophy...
Same woman at the bar celebrating her 30th Birthday...
Same woman on the cover of Newsweek covering the Fortune 500...
Same woman shaking hands with another woman where Peter used to be...

There's a bump at the door, the door knob jiggles, a woman enters. Peter and this woman now lock eyes... Peter looks away, notices the name plate on the desk...

it reads Marry (not Larry).

Security is called, Peter is escorted out of the building to an awaiting patrol car.

Peter sits down and is strangely relieved. Finally, another man.

The driver of the Patrol car turns around... it's Larry.

"I told you NOT to go to work today."

"RE: Fun with next weeks logline"
Posted by cahaya on 08-05-07 at 09:28 PM
Wooo, ooo, ooo... this reads like something out of the Twilight Zone! Great script, and I'll wager it'll top what we see put up On the Lot next week.


A Sharnina Production

Now, there's another idea for On the Lot... like the duos on The Amazing Race, allow duo teams of writers/directors for the show. Just a thought.