Last night was a real snooze fest for me! I was almost embarrased to be watching this when my husband came into the room. Talk about lame clips, and even lamer juding!!

Penny Marshall-is she losing it or what? And we thought Paula was bad! At least Paula is pretty nice to look at! No offense, Penny, but wow, wake up and drink some coffee, do some back ground checks or SOMEthing before you go on a show you obviously know little about! So what if you are friends with Rosie and Madonna-sure doesn't get you points as a judge in this genre-not in MY book, anyway. And how rude was she to the guest judge, anyway???

I thought Sam's 'Driving Under the Influence' was the only one not worthy of the garbage bin. Just MY opinion. At least he's the only one I actually GOT, laughed at, and enjoyed for the entire-is it one or TWO minutes? I forget, it gets so painful at times.

And what the heck was Jason's clip about anyway? Anyone, besides Penny's mumbling, which I barely understood, get that? If I had been a judge, he would be walking on very thin ice.

All these guys disappoint me-they should be getting better, instead, they are getting much worse! Is it the themes, or are they just tired, worn out, or just don't have any more left in them??? Wait until you REALLY get to Hollywood, Baby!

As Gary Marshall said that Hector Ruiz said, that Ernest Hemmingway said.........whatever.

And next week we can look forward to films with the logline - "a man wakes up in a dress, and can't remember why ..." so, will EVERYONE have him be recovering from a night of drinking? Who will think outside the box? Hmmmm. Should be interesting!

Idea:
A guy is helping his girlfriend (or better yet, his daughter) hem a dress she is making, by wearing it on a pedestal. he falls off and hits his head.

I would be happy to see a night with no more vehicles in the movies. I think I am getting sick of the cars.

I liked Zach's the best. Better than his last week. But even his wasn't great. I was underwhelmed by all of them.

And I think Jason is going to win this no matter what he does. He seems to have a strong fan base the others can't touch. He could do terrible and get bad feedback and still get the most votes. I feel like this is over already and we are just watching to see what order the others leave before Jason wins.

LAST EDITED ON 08-01-07 AT 08:05 PM (EST)

What a motley collection of judges tonight. Penny Marshall, looking like a '60's hippie commune graduate, sits in for Gary, along with guest director Gary Ross. As for Antonella, I posted the only worthy comment about her earlier in this thread. Now, on with the review...

Nobody really stood out tonight, and for it being "Road Night", we didn't get much in the way of vehicular excitement or even good old American car driving nostalgia. Rather, we're treated with Ford tough trucks stuck in our way, getting stuck in traffic jams, getting stuck with back seat drivers, and getting stuck with cars which have a personality of their own. Which about describes this season of On the Lot - getting stuck.

Driving Under the Influence by Adam: A desperate owner manages to unload his car on an unwitting buyer, who promptly drives off with it and tries out the car stereo. True to life, this car stereo sets the driver and anyone else around it into a dancing frenzy. As the guy switches stations, the in-car at-wheel dancing style matches the music, ranging from rap to screaming thrash rock. A lady cop in a cruiser notices the erratic driving and pulls the guy over. Then he surreptiously turns the stereo on to distract the lady cop and gets away, only to bump into an unscratchable "Ford tough" truck (which we'll see again) and get stopped again somewhere on the bad side of town. After banging on the stereo a few times, it works and the whole neighborhood and the cop go into some kind of dance-musical frenzy, with the choreography still below dress rehearsal standards. Just as the music ends, the cop is in the guy's arms and then he smothers her with a solid smooch. It's time to add battery and felony sexual assault to the rap sheet, folks. Not a bad clip, with a good concept and fairly good execution apart from the final dance scene and the ending kiss which seemed to be out of place. (**1/2)

Backseat Driving Test by Sam: With mom, kid and driving instructor as the main characters, the kid wants to take a driving test but can't stand mom's backseat driving. The instructor takes mom for a spin on the course, which shocks her into catatonic silence. Nice piece of work there, although the stunts are so-so even by Dukes of Hazzard standards. Now the kid gets the wheel and mom is satisfyingly silent. But the kid gets distracted, almost runs down an oncoming nun on a bicycle, and then goes flying into a higher-scoring Dukes flight and landing. Nope there's no Daisy standing there to clap her hands for him, but instead mom wakes up from her catatonia and congratulates her son. I'm not sure I understood this clip, but in terms of stunts and characterization, it was kind of ho-hum like the engine of the car. (**1/2)

Bonus Feature Two by Zach: Zach falters again this week, trying to make up for his mistakes of last week. We're in the same car, with the same characters, going to that Paradise from the last DVD from the previous episode. Somehow, Back to the Future meets Captain Hook, soon to be treated with a Return of the Jedi laser-rifle pick-up and delivery. The swordplay with the pirates was hokey, and where we expected at least some ketchup for blood, we get nothing. The guy and girl fend off the pirates at first, but get overwhelmed. The girl manages to escape into the car, warp-speeds into a Lucas film and comes back with the las-rifle, promptly blasting the pirates. We're not told if it's on stun or kill mode. The guy and gal decide to leave and return to the bliss of the original year they came from. And then, predictably, they kiss at the end. Let's put it this way. I can't think of a single sequel to a lame (or even a good) original that did better than the original, and again Zach showed why. Although this clip could stand on its own, it was mediocre at best. Kids might have half-way liked it except for the smoochy cootchy at the end. (**)

The Move by Jason: Jason is given an extra advantage of having Jerry O'Connell as his lead actor by virtue of having the most votes last week. And he blew it. A guy loads up his Ford (yes, Ford, logo and all) pick-up (ok, is it an F-150 or 250?) with his possessions and by all appearances he's moving out from the old place for good. As he and his helpful friend talk about it, he's having second thoughts and wants to turn around. Instead, he pulls over and dumps all the furniture in some roadside grove of trees. Then, oddly enough, he grabs a pen, disappears for a while where the stuff is presumably sitting and comes back. Then he drives off. The last shot of the clip is of an Asian guy waking up on a couch in a virtual living room on a dusty dirt floor in the middle of a copse of trees. Cut. What? Wait. Oh, I get it, that young Asian guy must be his adopted son and he's being kicked out of the house. I think. Maybe. Let me think about it. Nah, forget it. It's time for the next clip already. (*1/2)

Road Rage 101 by Will: Stuck in a traffic jam due to some construction or something going on, a guy sits in his car. His impatience soon grows into irritation, then anger, and then early stages of the road rage syndrome. He starts smacking his car around, making you wonder if there isn't a restraint order out on him as a result of his ex-spouse or ex-gf. Unlike the meek ex, though, this car decides to fight back, turning off the air-conditioner, toying with the radio, and eventually going into gear and smacking into the back of an unscratchable "Ford tough" truck (deja vu). The Ford guy hops out and promptly beats the guy up after the car opens up the sunroof so the Ford guy can get to him. Ok, that makes it official. Ford trucks are for rednecks. I forgot to look to see if there was a shotgun and rifle slung over the cab window, along with the Bud sticker and Bush sticker on the bumper. The guy in the car finally gets it and starts repeating "I love my car, I love my car...". Too late, buddy, the ex has already filed the divorce papers. Just count yourself lucky it wasn't Carrie Christine you were beating up on. (**1/2)

In summary, mediocre clips all around without a clear winner. Even now, I can't pick a favorite. Maybe Adam's was the best, but I'm not into jumbled street dance scenes. Sam did ok, but I hate backseat drivers, anyway. Zach repeated his flop and he is clearly in danger of elimination since he was almost out last week. The road rage didn't make my blood pressure rise at all. With a plot hole the size of an F-250 pickup bed, that leaves Jason as the next one who should go out, but won't. This week, I won't even try to predict what I see as a random toss-up.

A Sharnina Production

ed. Freudian slip there between Carrie and Christine, noticed only after SunnyBunny's post.