Dear Diary,

I was so excited to hear that Big Tom had been picked for All-Star Survivor! After all, we had so much fun together in Africa, what with the flies and the elephant dung and whatnot. It's been so boring here on the farm since the show ended. Anyhoo, Tom was packing today, and he didn't even look at me. Oh come on, not take ME to Survivor with him? That would be like Colby not taking the Texas flag, or Alicia not taking her wagging finger. I'm an important part of Survivor history.

Wait! Tom! Don't go without me!

Signed, Big Tom's Boil

Skipping ahead to a later entry...

Dear Diary,

Watched tonight's episode with the family, and boy am I pissed! When they showed the clip from Tom's family video, they showed his Little Bubba Billy Bob Junior and Mama Tom, but they didn't show my part. It was the best! Those stupids thought that Rob's brother was funny, they should have seen me.

That stupid hick. I hope he doesn't win. If it weren't for me, Mark Burnett would have never remembered his name.

Signed, BTB

Snarky, smart, S7 Anti-Bootee Champ

• RE: A Very Special A.S.S. Diary,Drive My Car, 08:16 AM, 04-20-04
• RE: A Very Special A.S.S. Diary,Silvergirl1, 02:14 AM, 04-21-04
  • RE: A Very Special A.S.S. Diary,Dakota, 06:19 PM, 04-21-04

Dear Diary,

Terrible news today. Things don't look good for my Big Tom. He can't fish , he has no balance, he has yet to win the bling bling. I really thought that mohawk guy was going to take him to the final. There have been whispers here on the farm, and I am frightened. I think if Big Tom doesn't go all the way this time, that they may blame me, the innocent lucky boil, for Tom's stupid game play. I heard mumblings about a lancing. If he had just taken me with him.
What's an abcess to do?

Signed, Big Tom's Lucky Boil

can't believe I missed this

Dear Diary,

I used to be a pain in the neck boil, but since I wasn't able to attach to his neck before he left, maybe I'll meet him at the Loser Lodge, attach from behind, and become a real pain in the A.S.S., if you know what I mean.

*sigh* A boil can dream, can't it?

Sincerely,

BTB

Silvergirl

Pus is fun!

Dear Diary:

Only 24 hours until another episode airs and people find out that I'm going to appear on either Wab or Ambah, having missed the dang video thang. Hee hee! They won't know it's me! There'll be gossipin' and whisperin', and lots of ewwwwwwwwws just like back on the farm. I really want the big feller to win and I'm trying to hep in any way I kin.

Sweet dreams, diary.

Little boil.