LAST EDITED ON 09-09-03 AT 09:20 PM (EST)

Shakes the Clown is a Summary God, but I have felt this strange need to write my own versions of Goodbye Speeches. I came to the party late, so I started with Toni and progressed to Kristin and Alex.
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TONI’S FAREWELL SPEECH

(I am re-creating it here for your dining & dancing pleasure.)

FONI
"We all swore a blood oath over a crucible of fire, complete with spooky music when Zack left. We promised that we would protect Amy from any sort of emotion or actual thinking whenever possible."
(Tears start running down Foni's face. Lab tests later reveal them to consist of 90% testosterone and 10% crocodile byproducts.)

FONI, continued
"Therefore, I am throwing myself on the sword and making the ultimate sacrifice by leaving a resort hotel where everyone waits on me hand and foot. So, Amy... baby girl, in the name of Zack, "The Most Respected One", I proclaim myself a martyr. Take care of yourself baby doll, baby girl, baby food."
FONI HUGS EVERYONE AND RUNS OFF INTO THE NIGHT, READY TO TAKE HER NEXT STEROID INJECTION.

• RE: Farewell Speeches - my therapy or obsession?,Dakota, 10:20 PM, 09-09-03
  • RE: Farewell Speeches - my therapy or obsession?,RollDdice, 05:15 PM, 09-11-03
• Toni Explosions - Anyone miss them?,RollDdice, 05:29 PM, 09-11-03

LOL! And then there's Beau:

"You're all pathetic. I've had enough of this. There's always been some woman who could make feel good about myself and make me want to stay, uh, there was Amanda, Tara, Holly and then Amy. But now that the friends who wanted me voted out are gone, I'm finished here. I'm glad I'm leaving. And by the way, if y'all want to call me and tell me who we're going to trash next week, that's cool. I'll team up with those of you who wanted me voted out -- after all, you bequeathed Amy to me for a little while."

When Beau left, I thought the "You're all pathetic!" statement was pretty harsh and showed a side of him that he'd been hiding up to that point.

Now that he's back, his true nastiness has come to the surface.

What do you think of him and the way he's changed?

Say what you will about the Steroid Slot Machine, she always brought the heat.

Beau is "B1tchy Spice" and Amy is the Devil's Disciple, but they don't have the raw firepower that Toni exhibited.

Is there any truth to the rumor that Toni is going to be in or host another Reality Show? I hope not!