I was really looking forward to this finale. Even my dog got into the spirit of Trump. He channeled Trump once before but I didn’t have a camera in my hand. But the day of the finale I did.

Bruno as Trump

But why would Mark Burnett let The Donald do a two hour live show, again? It seemed to drag on with no winner. I still enjoyed it but felt the winner didn’t get his due. The winner was announced with 30 seconds to go.

Anyway, on with the show.

And what show is that you ask?

Celebrity Apprentice

All Trumped Up

Donald is sitting in his office with his two children.

We started with 14 celebrities. We are down to two.
Trace and Piers.
What do you think Ivanka?
You have a tough time. Trace is a great guy with people skill.
Piers is aggressive but fabulous at raising money.
What do you think little Don?
Well, well, they have both played the game well,
and it doesn’t matter what I say, you will pick the winner.
Trump continues: Great suggestions, but what does everybody in the audience think.

*Mr. Trump blows the walls of his office down to be surrounded by hand-picked, screaming adoring fans.*

Live from New York City, It’s......................

Celebrity Apprentice

Here’s the biggest celebrity of all: Donald Trump.

*pounding his hand on his desk*
Thank you, thank you; it’s a big night for me. We’ve raised over a million dollars for charity.
I like a good fight. We’ve seen that with these two. (Piers and Trace)
Let’s take a look. Roll the clip.

Twelve weeks ago 14 of the biggest celebrities descended on NYC to make a difference.
There was a heavy-weight champion of the world, a rock star,
a tabloid journalist, a country star, actors, and Olympic athletes.
Each had their own style of business backgrounds.
Each willing to fight for their favorite charities.
Who would call all their contacts?
Each would push themselves harder than ever before.
(Yea sure they did. This was harder than training years for 5 Olympic medals, in another country? This was harder than preparing for the heavy-weight fight for the title of Best of the World? Three times?)

They all fell by the wayside, except for two.

Pierce Morgan, former tabloid editor and notorious Reality TV Judge.
Piers has an aggressive approach to winning money and task.
He tells us every competitive part of him is fighting to be declared Celebrity Apprentice.

Trace Adkins, Country Super-Star.
(I’m not into Country music and had not heard of this Super-Star. I do love to hear him talk.)
Trace took the slow and steady path to success.
He tells us he’s fighting for his little daughter who has food allergies.

This left the amazing Mr. Trump to preside
over the biggest international battle in the history of The Apprentice. (Wow!)
It’s good verses evil.
It’s the UK verses the USA.

Last week the final two apprentices were given the final task.

Mr. Trump tells them they will be holding a really, really grand charity event.
I’ve invited back really, really great help for you.
(Please Mr. Trump, don’t bring back Omarosa.)
Carol, Lennox, Stephen, and Marilu walk in.

Trace, you pick first. I’ll take Lennox.
Piers takes Stephen which surprises Trump.
Lennox picks Marilu which leaves Piers with Carol.

You will be judged on three things.

1. Tickets sold to the event.

2. Money raised during the auction.

3. How well you did in your part of the really great event.

The two finalists sit down to divide up the task.
Piers takes the auction and the catering.
Trace takes the show.

They also divide up the few charity items they already have.
Trace picks the “Super bowl Thing”.
Piers picks shopping with Ivanka.
He then says; May the best man win, and I will.

In the war room Piers’ tells the team his strategy.
I am going to focus on getting great auction prizes and money.
He also donates 20 tickets to the charity director for wounded veterans.
It would be great to have your guys at the event.

Trace plans on calling every celebrity he and his team knows.
We beat Piers on celebrities, *raising his arms* we win!

Piers meets with Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York and secures Tea with the Duchess. They hug.

Trace is meeting with the Backstreet Boys.
(Another type of music I never listened to. Boy bands. I was raising a family instead.
I did take my son to a Boys to Men concert. Yikes!)
Trace is finding the demands frustrating, and ridiculous.

And he still can’t find wheat grass. This could be a problem.
Last week he told us the time he spent talking to the boys is time in his life he will never get back.
What is wheat grass? Do you smoke it? You squeeze it and drink the juice?
(I thought that was the funniest thing all season.)

*announcer*
Tonight is the final showdown.
Two remain, but only one will claim the ultimate title:
Celebrity Apprentice

*roll title credits*

*sing along: Money, money, money, mo-ney. Money!*

What if
You could make a difference?

*end music, cue Trump*

You can see it’s been a really, really, special season.
We have a roomful of celebrities who we want to hear what they have to say.
At the end of night, I will pick the Celebrity Apprentice.

*slaps hand on desk*
Now watch my Macy’s commercial.

*cue Mark Burnett credit, and roll*

Piers talks with the following donors:
Sharon Osborne donates a night with the Osborne’s.
Lord Andrew Lloyd Weber – opening night tickets to next show

Piers is talking with Stephen.
I didn’t mean to be personally rude to you.
Stephen says; and.....
Piers continues; I’m sorry I’ve offended you.

*cue church music – hallelujah *

Selling tickets was not going so good. Stephen could only sell 5.
Piers is beginning to think this might not be such a blowout.

Trace continues to deal with the entertainment.
He still can’t find wheat grass juice.
He receives a call from one of the boys.
I’ve lost my black nail polish; I can’t go on without it.

Trace and Lennox walk down to the corner drug store to buy nail polish.
Not for their wives but for a guy.
Do you have any wheat grass?
*Trace shakes his head*

The very upset cowboy asks the three-time heavy-weight champion of the world to deliver the nail polish.
Trace is almost ready to lose control.

From the distance we hear Daddy! Hi Daddy!
The big ole cowboy kneels down and picks up his two girls.
He starts crying. (It was very touching)
This is just what I needed.

Stephen tell Trace’s wife; we were so stressed. This will help us make it to the end.

Trace tells everyone around. This is what I’m fighting for.
*He hugs his girls*

The spell of the moment is broken by a phone call.
Trace runs to find the boys.
Can you get a protective knee brace for Howie?

Trace explains; One of the BSB, if you know them like I do, you can call them BSB,
well one of the boys twisted his little knee. Now I have to go find medical supplies.
He passes Carol and asks; do you know where I can find wheat grass juice?

I have new appreciation for myself after dealing with these kids. I’ve done a show with a broken leg, kidney stones. My gut hurt so much one night I couldn’t hardly move. I walked out on stage, did the show, went to the hospital emergency room, and had 18 inches of my colon cut out THAT night. And this group can’t do a show if one doesn’t have his wheat grass juice and other one has a twisted knee. Don’t get me started on the BSB.

The Celebrity Apprentice Really, Really, Big Party and Auction

Piers shakes Trace’s hand then tells him may the best man win and let us raise scads of money for our charities.
Congratulations brother for being here tonight, agrees Trace.
Piers responds; if I’m going to loses to anyone, I’m glad it’s you.
Well, I’ll be....Trace grins.
But I’m not going to lose.

*champagne corks pop* *drinks are poured*
*laughter* *Clinking*

Trace collects money from:

Dean Sams of Lonestar – donated $10,000 dollars
Eddie Montgomery of Montgomery Gentry
Ronnie Millsap Country Star Icon - donated $5,000 from the Grand Ole Opry
$5,000 cash donation

The military arrives right before the Man of the Hour walks in with his children.

*knock, knock, knock, knock, knock*
Hello everyone, I’m Christy Auction. I’m here to help raise money for a good cause.

Our first item is The Opus, a tribute to the first 40 Super Bowls.
It includes a page signed by every living MVP.
Let’s start it for 15 thousand. Thank you sir. 16 thousand, 17,
sold for 18 thousand dollars to the man at the bar.
This was Traces item.

Lot #2 is a truly unique item. Tea with the Duchess of York.
Let’s start this at 5 thousand, 7 thousand, 15 thousand.
A man who is standing in the midst of the military shouts out 100 thousand.
Ok, if that’s the game you want to play. *applause*

Lot #3 is dinner with Trace Adkins bought by Ivanka for $6,000.

Lot #4 is a night with the Osborne’s.
If someone donates more than $50,000, Ozzy will fly his entire band to anywhere in the country to give a concert.
The same man that bought Lot #2 paid another $100,000 for the Osbornes.

Trace is starting to look worried. His suit seems to be tight on him. He keeps pulling on his collar.

Other items auctioned off were Taxi memorabilia, signed Phantom of the Opera mask, guitar, QVC shopping, and many other items.

The last item auctioned off was a shopping trip with Ivanka,
Simon Cowell called in and snapped it up for $100,000.

Now it was time for the entertainment. Would BSB go on with out wheat grass juice?
The tall cowboy named Trace introduced them. They delivered the show.
And Trace said they did it with out wheat grass. They sounded good. Amazing.

Trace was overcome that all 6 of them had worked together so well.
He said the picture of them standing together spoke 1,000 words.

The Final Boardroom, Kind of

Donald tells us; I love the Boardroom. It’s my favorite part. All the action happens here.
He walks in and sits down.

Stephen, Carol, Piers, Trace, Marilu, and Lennox are seated at the table.

Ok, Lennox, you’ve been my friend for a long time. Who did the best job?
Well, they have different styles. Trace is laid back and allows you to do your work.
Piers is in your face and gets you going.
What style do you like better?
Well I guess Trace’s.

Piers states, we know why he likes that style. Sleepy Boy?
But I’ve made a fried for life. Lennox says absolutely.

Piers, why did you pick Stephen? Ivanka and I are surprised.
We work well together. We won every task we worked on.

Tell me about the Backstreet Boys Trace. Why were they difficult?
Well, it was the stuff they wanted in their room.
Certain kinds of water, specific peanut butter on special cut bread,
and then there was the wheat grass.

(With all this talk about wheat grass juice, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a brand called:
Trumps Wheat Grass Juice, squeezed by Trace Adkins.)

Little Don speaks out and says; what about the black nail polish?
Big Don asks Piers, what would you have done?
I would have told them to stuff their polish.

Trace shouts, but they wouldn’t have gone on. Trump agrees.

Piers states; yes they would, With a 20 million audience exposure.
Trump agrees with Piers at that.
Trace asks if he should have beat up the band. I could have.
But I wanted to put a happy band up on the stage.

Carol, who do you think did a better job, Trace or Piers?
One of the tasks was raising money. Piers did that extremely well.

It’s true, little Don blurts out. Piers made $376,000 while Trace made $64,000.

Ivanka states her figures. Trace brought in $38,000 with ticket sales while Piers only brought in $12,000.

Carol pleads to be heard. Piers made a decision to donate 20 tickets to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund.
He felt it was important for those who are helped by the fund to see and be seen.

Trump says that’s nice, so we are even.
The third task was how well you did on your part of this really, really great party.

Piers you had catering. I don’t remember seeing food.
That was my plan. Get the party goers a little tipsy so they would freely bid.

Stephen shouts I don’t like that. You are trying to get people drunk. If I ran an auction, I wouldn’t do that.

Donald asks if that’s because five years ago you were born again.
Before that you would have done the same thing.
That’s right sir.
Piers states he’s not the only Christian in the room.
I’m a Roman Catholic. I believe in God as well, but I don’t take the high moral ground.
I’ve been portrayed as the bad, evil, the devil.

Mr. Trump starts laughing. Hey the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Who’s the ugly?
Piers quickly answers: Lennox.

*Laughs by everyone*

Mr. Trump, pleads Piers, would you clarify what the purpose of this game was.
Was it to be the nice guy in the boardroom?
Or was it supposed to be the best, effective, most prosperous fundraiser for charity?

Trace I want you to answer that.
Ok. I am here to raise money and awareness for the Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network.
And to bring them no dishonor.
And along the way raise a lot of money for them.

Trump asks Trace is he thinks Piers dishonored his charity.

In my opinion, I think he was ruthless. He did and said some things I never would have.

Mr. Trump,
Piers speaks very passionately;
we’re playing a business game not a personality game.

Trace butts in with;
Piers said we were going to work together to make this the best charity event to raise money for our charities.
I agreed with him. I thought we worked well together.
I commend him for that.

This is tough, the toughest thing I’ve had to do in a while.
Get Trace and Piers ready, I’m ready to settle this now.

The Rest of the Boardroom

This has been a great final two battle.
Totally opposite people.
This guy is the nicest guy to enter my boardroom.
He’s also a really, really good country singer.
Welcome Trace Adkins.

*cheers*

He played the game with ruthless, intelligence. Come on out Piers Morgan.

*fewer cheers*

So let’s get down to it.

Please welcome:

Tiffany Fallon
Nadia Comaneci
Jennie Finch
Vincent Pastore
Nely Galen
Marilu Henner
Tito Ortiz
Carol Ault
Stephen Baldwin
Lennox Lewis

The Celebrities enter and take a seat across the stage.

Gene Simmons is shooting a movie in Japan; we’ll talk to him later.
Now there is a woman who hates Piers. Show the clips of the two lovebirds.
(We see all the disgusting stuff this person did and said.
I applaud Piers for not striking her.)
Come on out Omarosa.
*she strikes a super hero pose and glares at Piers*
*he ignores her*
(She makes a stupid prejudice remark. I will not repeat.
Hopefully she will not be heard on this show again.
And please keep her away from Survivor.)

Hey Lennox, they used you a lot this season.
What do you think of Piers and Trace?
Piers is highly aggressive, means well, high strung, but needs tact.
Who’s more confident?
Ah, they both are.

OK, Carol answer the same question?
Piers used his edge very well.
I didn’t work with Trace,
I think I should be sitting there tonight, Mr. Trump.
You’re just chocking on live TV.
I am not sir, I’m going head to head with you.

Stephen, what do you think?
*wild screams from the audience*
Piers is a tough guy but good at raising money and business.
Trace is 10 times better than Piers.

Vinnie, do you wish you didn’t resign?
Yes, but Lennox pushed me over the side. Why? ask Trump.
I took Lennox out to dinner. The next day he turned on me and wanted to be on Piers’s side.
I won’t take him out to dinner again.

Whose team do you want to be on Lennox?
At that time it was Piers.
Thanks for being honest Lennox my friend.

Marilu! Since you have watched every amazing, really, really excellent past seasons,
how was it to play?
It was fun. No sleep. That suits my energy and personality.
I tell my friends they have to do the next one.

Jennie. Are you going to win a gold medal?
We’ll try.

You are sitting next to one of the greats, Nadia.
Nadia waves.

We have one more celebrity to hear from.
Gene is in Tokyo. We’ll be back after we sell you something.

We’re back.
He has the ego, the smarts, even the big hair.
*Trump points to his hair*
Why did he leave so early?
Roll the clips.
(If you would like to read my summary on his boot: The Sorcerer and the Apprentice)

What sign are you Gene? Dollar sign Baby!
Gene Simmons, you are a powerful and attractive man!
I will convince you I have all the right answers.
It’s a Kodak world.
They are wrong!!
I say to Kodak, you are wrong!

I wonder if Gene has changed his mind.
Would you finally admit you were wrong?
They doubled their sales with their idea.

Gene appears in dark sunglasses.
They only thought short term.
It was a big mistake for them not to use my idea.
It’s a Kodak world.

Gene, the Kodak executive is here. He was waiting for your apology.
Now he will humiliate you on live television.
You missed the task.
The customer is always right.
Kodak is right, yada, yada, yada,
(I think we just saw a live commercial)

Trace or Piers, Gene?
Piers outperformed in pure cash.
But Trace has a “tug of the heart” quality to him.
The answer is Trace Adkins.

This season was about charity.
Roll the film about Trace’s charity:
The Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Network

Now listen to Trace sing his #1 song.
Really, really good Trace. Buy his song

Even though most didn’t like Piers’ style of play, he did a good thing for his charity.
Roll the film about Piers’ charity: Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund

We have raised one million dollars for charity this season.
But that’s not enough. Yes, you heard the Donald right.
*slams hand on desk*
I will donate $250,000 to the winner’s charity.
I’m really proud of everyone here. You were all wonderful.
Just like me.
There are no losers here. Just winners.

*slams hand on desk*

OK, let’s get to it. Trace why should I pick you.

Nobody supports the military as much as I do. They are great as well as the charity that Piers is representing. I’m glad he’s won all the money he has.
But I’m here representing 3 million fathers who fear for their children.
My charity will educate and research why this is happening to our children. The money will help save our children’s lives.

That’s great. Piers make your case.

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade. Trace is a great guy.
If this was a Good Guy Competition, he would win hands down.
But this is a business competition with a focus on raising money for charity.
As you know Mr. Trump, the bottom line is numbers.
I’ve won 9 out of the 11 task you’ve given us.
I’ve raised over half a million dollars.
I had the biggest slaughter in the history of Apprentice.
Mr. Trump adds; that’s true.
I’ve brought in the biggest and most celebrities.
So on the fundraising checklist, I’ve killed everybody.

*cheers*

But Piers, you were not loved. Isn’t that important to you.
No, but Mr. Trump you’re not loved either.
True.
Piers pleads; When these guys go to battle they fight to the finish.
Do you think your charity is more important than Traces’?
No, but I played the game to win and give these guys a second chance.
I stand by everything I did.

*slams hand on table*

OK done!

Little Don, Do you have anything to add?

Well ah, well, I’m a pretty decisive guy. But this is hard.
Trace is the most likeable guy, I’ve ever met.
Piers is effective and has a great rolodex.
Could you have done as well without it?

*hand slams on table*
Enough!

Can I respond Mr. Trump?
No, we only have a minute left.

Pierce you are fierce, tough, smart, probably brilliant, but not diplomatic.
You did an amazing job and beat everybody. You won more than anyone.

Trace, you got a #1 single out of the deal. You have a wonderful family.
You’re a special, special, special guy. A beautiful human being.
I will always love you.
You are really, really, special.

But for tonight!
*slams hand on desk*
*points at Piers*

But for tonight Piers, you’re the Celebrity Apprentice.

*30 seconds*
*cue music*
*drop confetti*

*apprentice’s head for Trace and Piers*

*zoom in on The Donald*

It’s been a really great season; we’ll see you next year.
We’re going to be around for a long time.

*20 seconds*

*play money theme*

*roll credits*

*10 seconds*

*shot of Piers*

*pull-away shot to show group*

*shot of Trace*

*5 seconds*

*Burnett flaming production logo*

*Trump shield logo*

*And cut*

*That’s a wrap, folks*

Thanks for taking time to read my summary. Let me know if you liked it. I enjoyed the practice.
If you would like to read my other Apprentice Summaries, click on the link below:

Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 10 These Boots are Made for Walking

Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 7 All You Need Is LOVE!

Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 3 The Sorcerer and the Apprentice

• RE: Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 13 & Finale,jbug, 02:16 PM, 04-01-08
• RE: Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 13 & Finale,byoffer, 01:33 PM, 04-02-08
• RE: Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 13 & Finale,qwertypie, 12:33 PM, 04-08-08
• RE: Official RTVW Celebrity Apprentice Summary: Episode 13 & Finale,momof4inVA, 03:11 AM, 06-12-08

Bravo Kircon, Bravo!

I never watched much of the regular apprentice shows. I like the celebrity format. But no more like Omo - as in "Johnny Fairplay is not celebrity enough for this show", ok?

Kircon

Great job again. You are a very good summary writer, as many of us learned during the aborted Pirate Master season!