Thursday, February 28, 2002
Sex sells Survivor
Hanky panky in the latest edition

By BILL BRIOUX, Toronto Sun

All together, everybody: "O-E-O-E-O-E-O ...."

Yes, time once again to smear on the war paint, break out the Doritos and join in that primal and hypnotic Survivor chant. Don't try to fight it, humans. For tonight's the night that Survivor: Mississauga, the fourth instalment of the world's most stupefying reality series, debuts at 8 p.m.

You may have seen it advertised elsewhere, say CBS and Global, as Survivor: Marquesas, or Survivor: Mark Tewksbury or something. Forget all that. It's Survivor: Mississauga.

Residents of exotic Mississauga, Ont., located immediately west of Toronto, know just how treacherous and uninhabitable the place can be. The very word, "Mississauga," can strike fear into the heart of anyone who doesn't own a car.

Few are aware that "Mississauga" is actually an old Indian word meaning "factory carpet warehouse." To gain immunity, the 16 new contestants must go on a scavenger hunt and bring back any evidence of culture. In just 39 days!

I kid. It is Survivor: Marquesas, which takes place on Nuku Hiva, one of the Marquesas islands in the South Pacific.

Host Jeff Probst, probably not the most objective source, says it's the most fun Survivor yet. "All I know is, from Day One I was laughing," Probst said this week.

GOLDEN GOOSE

CBS, which has been laughing all the way to the bank until now with Survivor, is well aware that its golden goose is showing signs of flying south. A revived Friends consistently beat Survivor III in the ratings (except in Canada, where both shows air on Global). Time to tinker.

For one thing, they've moved the two-hour finale of this fourth series to a Sunday night in May, well out of the Friends fray. The game will also move to Wednesdays for two weeks in March (13 and 20) to accommodate NCAA basketball on CBS. More importantly for the 16 players, they've taken away their rations of rice and left them to forage for their own food and water (found in far more abundant supply than in the last Survivor's deadly African desert).

None of that is going to make anybody watch this series. Here's what will: sex.

Crafty executive producer Mark Burnett has let it slip out that Survivor 4 features a little romance. As in jiggy. As in making the beast with two backs. As in humpity-humpity-humpity.

Up until now, the closest cuddly relationship we've actually seen on camera was probably between Richard and Rudy in the original Survivor. There have been rumours about other frisky business, but word is these island hoppers are ready to rumble.

Exactly who's doing who nobody knows, but here are the players, divided into their two competing tribes.

From Maraamu: Gina Crews, 28, a nature guide from Gainsville, Fla.; Hunter Ellis, 33, a FedEx pilot from La Jolla, Calif.; Peter Harkey, 45, a bowling alley owner (shades of Ed) from Millis, Mass.; Patricia Jackson, 49, a truck assembler from Lugoff, S.C.; Sarah Jones, 24, an accounts manager from Newport Beach, Calif.; Rob Mariano, 26, a construction worker from Canton, Mass.; Sean Rector, 30, a teacher from Harlem, N.Y.; and Vecepia (Vee) Towery, 36, an office manager from Portland, Ore.

GOOD LOOKING

On Rotu, we have Gabriel Cade, 23, a bartender from Celo, N.C.; John Carroll, 36, a nurse from Omaha, Neb.; Robert DeCanio, 38, a limo driver from Queens, N.Y.; Neleh Dennis, 21, a student from Layton, Utah; Paschal English, 57, a judge from Thomaston, Ga.; Tammy Leitner, 29, a reporter from Mesa, Ariz.; Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien, 47, a real estate agent from Burlington, Vt.; and Zoe Zanidakis, 35, a fishing boat captain from Monhegan Island, Maine.

They're a good looking lot judging from their head shots posted on the CBS Web site.

People have already started placing bets on this series, but not just on who sleeps with who or who. Intertops.com has Harlem teacher Sean as the early favourite to win the million-dollar top prize, with Omaha nurse John and Kathy from Vermont close behind.

Intertops is also calling for Friends to beat Survivor tonight. My money's on Rudy.