1. Don’t get too accustomed to champagne; it makes the inevitable Seven-Up that much harder to swallow.
2. Always remember to be unfailingly polite and calm, and you will be more likely to get that flight with the easiest connections.
3. Take it easy! Show up on time, but at the last possible minute. You’ll be more relaxed, able to deal with problems coming your way, and your friends will think you spent the night at a spa.
4. But know just when that extra little burst of speed will put you on the earlier boat.
5. Making friends will help that bitter salty smilie drink go down better.
6. Take that (fast forward) break from the (rat) race when you feel that you need it, not when others think you should.
7. Everyone has that “butch bone” that will help you do macho things like dislodge boats and operate heavy machinery. You just have to know where to find it.
8. The shortest, most direct choice is not always the quickest one.
9. When spirits start to flag, there’s nothing like a mocha frappaccino and an impromptu shopping excursion to lift them up again.
10. Five-star hotels are a great source of comfort and assistance to the weary traveler, whether you actually spend money there or not.
11. Sometimes, when faced with tricky tasks such as putting things into their proper place, it can be good to ignore the boundaries that others would impose on you.
12. And remember that whenever you are truly at the end of your rope, go ahead and scream like a woman! It’ll be over with sooner than you know!

• RE: Everything I really need to know in life, I learned from Danny and Oswald,Cole, 10:56 PM, 05-05-02
• RE: Everything I really need to know in life, I learned from Danny and Oswald,Pelirroja, 01:10 PM, 05-06-02
• RE: Everything I really need to know in life, I learned from Danny and Oswald,smiles, 03:03 PM, 05-06-02
• RE: Everything I really need to know in life, I learned from Danny and Oswald,Bebo, 03:11 PM, 05-06-02
• RE: Everything I really need to know in life, I learned from Danny and Oswald,L82LIFE, 05:44 PM, 05-06-02

I know they have a lot of fans here, but...

13. Too much reliance on others to help you out or show you the way will cause elimination when there is no one around to help you but yourselves.

I love it a total scream!!!!!!

LOL! Good ones!

I have been chuckling over these all day -- terrific!

fluent in Sarcastic, Blahblah, and Mockery

'Canes Rock! Beat Canada!

LMAO!
These are very, very funny. Thanks for a great laugh.