LAST EDITED ON 04-08-06 AT 11:13 AM (EST)

Official RTVW Summary
The Apprentice 5
Episode 6 (with an added bonus recrap of Episode 5, since no one else cared enough to bother with it)
Sometimes Taking Responsibility Isn't a Good Thing
(like when it's a contest to stay in the game)

Oh, man, I am sooo ashamed. Not to mention scared. I mean, almost everyone loses their virginity someday. To someone. But, to The Hair? Ewww! Ish! And, because this is The Apprentice, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna hurt. And since it’s gonna entail singing apprentii, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna hurt A LOT!

Frankly, I’m not even sure that clenching my eyes shut, wearing earmuffs, and thinking of England will help assuage the pain, Besides, that would lead to the shortest recrap in history, and someone has to bear the pain of watching to save the rest of humanity. Guess that’d be me. Ah, well, let’s get this over with. I’m strong. I can take it. *whimper*

Last week on RTV’s Abortion Apprentice the teams had to get over the disappointment of Brent’s departure, realizing that they no longer have the cover of a truly dysfunctional waste of protoplasm to hide behind (covered in zipperhead’s excellently written and received summary here, and shill for a cruise line by making a commercial touting their lack of structured activities. Which cruise line, you ask? Well, I’m not telling. The Donald gets paid to advertise their company, not me. So there.

Since not a single one of these, supposedly millionaire, DAW’s in need of a job had the common courtesy to fall overboard and drown, this resulted in such apathy among viewers that no one even bothered to recrap it. Which means that this week I get to do a two-fer-one. Which also means that this recrap will probably rival anything Estee ever wrote in length. All for a show that no one watches. Thanks, guys.

On team Cold Cuts Gold Rush Dan proves what a good leader he is by turning into a raving lunatic. The Commissar (Lenny) comes up with the idea of filming a castaway, picked up in the middle of the ocean, enjoying the freedom of the cruise on his way back to civilization. Yeah, like in those circumstances he wouldn’t have enjoyed the amenities of a passing freighter just as well.

They decide to put him on a raft with his head and body draped in seaweed. The ship picks him up and the rest of the commercial shows him lounging in the spa as helpful crewmembers take his watch away, followed by gambling in the on-board casino, and eating and drinking his fill at the restaurants. Oh, and the rags he was wearing when he was rescued? Replaced by a brand new sporty wardrobe. Must have been one heck of an expensive watch to pay for all of that.

Dan further shows his leadership by insisting on taking all control of the filming, while putting Tarek in charge of editing the final product. Because, we all know how creative Tarek is. He’s mental Mensa, ya know. He proves his creativity by deciding that on-screen text is all that’s needed. No voice-over. No explanation. Heck, if he can figure out the point behind this silent movie, anyone should be able to. Lenny, objects, pointing out that the executives will only see this once. Thirty seconds is all they’ll have to sell their idea. Dan, being the leader that he is, makes the executive decision to back Tarek and make a silent movie. Dum-de-dum-dumb. (But, never fear, that won’t be the last dumb decision Dan makes.)

Meanwhile, over on Team No Energy Synergy Roxanne proves her leadership ability by being indecisive, ineffective, and whiny. Their commercial supposedly contrasts the drabness of other cruises with the unfettered freedom of this one. Their editing primarily consists of Roxanne whining about the lack of respect she’s getting from her team after Andrea takes over and makes the decisions that Roxanne won’t, in order to get something, anything, accomplished.

Their commercial starts out in sepia tones (dull & drab, remember) and then bursts into full color as they show people getting massages, gambling, eating and drinking. Hmmm… seems familiar. Pretty much like the other one. But, wait! Synergy actually uses voice to explain what you’re seeing. What a concept!

Both teams meet with the executives and show the results of their idiocy hard work. Team Sepia goes first. The executives are kind, but less than effusive in their praise. Team Silent Movie pitches next. Dan and underlings have put together a choreographed spiel to help the execs understand what they’re about to see. Ummm… guys? Doncha think a commercial should be pretty self-explanatory? Isn’t that kinda the point of a commercial? Oops, even with an explanation the execs don’t get it. They ask lots of questions, like “What’s all that green, slimy, stuff hanging all over our passenger?” After yet more explanation the execs finally understand the concept. Kinda.

Teams leave, execs meet amongst themselves, and come to the conclusion that while they don’t necessarily like or dislike either one, they really don’t want to give the impression to prospective customers that their fellow passengers are made up of slime covered freeloaders that pay in trade. Besides, these are real professionals, and they, at least, understand that they can’t afford to make commercials to explain their commercials. Synergy wins.

At least this was a task worth winning. Synergy gets to go to a secret, underground, vault holding over $100 million worth of diamonds, where they’ll get to choose, and keep, $30,000 worth for themselves. After a full body cavity search by Uzi-carrying Brinks guards, they are taught to juggle priceless diamonds with tiny tweezers, laughing as they squirt off onto the floor. Characteristically, the guards are less amused.

Meanwhile, Gold Rush prepares, yet again, for the Boardroom. Dumb Dan, the Do-it-all-Yourself man, get a surprise when he learns that Leslie has a background in video production. If she’d said something about that he might have paid attention to what she said. Or not. But, at least if he’d let her do something she might be on the hot-seat instead of him. Oops, again. Everyone starts shouting at everyone else until Carolyn quiets the kids by calling them all 10-yr. olds and putting them in time-out.

Trump thinks the whole castaway idea stank, and Lenny happily takes credit for it, saying that the whole team liked it. He asks how the team felt about DD, the D-i-a-Y Man, and the kids start fighting and whining again. When asked who he’s bringing back, DD chooses Lee (for no apparent reason) and Tarek. Trump suggests that he should bring Lenny back, and DD proves the first D in his name again by saying that, if he did that, Lee and Lenny would gang up on him. Hey, Dumbass, How ‘bout bringing Lenny and Tarek (the two that Trump has zeroed in on) and dropping Lee?

Unsurprisingly, at least to anyone paying attention, Trump immediately dismisses Lee as a target. Dumb Dan starts to feel more comfortable (Oops, yet again) when Trump lays into Tarek, suggesting that either Mensa has lowered its standards, or he had someone else take the test for him. It’s his third trip to the boardroom and he’s been a disaster in everything he’s done. But, (here it comes), DD, you should have brought Lenny for his stupid idea, not Lee, who did nothing because you wouldn’t let anyone do anything. That just shows how dumb you really are. So, “Dan. You’re Fired!”

I have no idea what Trump’s lesson for the week was supposed to be. But, the obvious moral in this, and in previous weeks, is that if Trump specifically suggests that someone should be brought back, you’d darn well better bring them back. Unfortunately, this concept seems to keep eluding this particular batch of geniuses.

Now, on to this week’s episode of asshattery:

Wow. I haven’t even gotten to my punishment episode and I’m already up to 3 pages and 1,348 words. Whew. *pants heavily*

Well, now I know why AyaK wanted me to take this episode. As I don’t follow basketball too closely I was totally oblivious to the fact that this episode would be up against the final game of the Final Four. Hmmm… I need to pay better attention. That little fact led to what most probably was the least watched episode so far. Which means, that of the 10 of us actually watching, the number fell to 2 or 3. Maybe. Ah, well. As March Madness concludes in the sports world, it’s still in full swing in RTV-land. And, frankly, you don’t get many show contestants madder than the ones The Donald has managed to pull together. Hatters come to mind.

But, just my luck, I not only get to deal with singing DAW’s (all of whom, trust me, would have appeared on the comic reels of AI, had they tried out), but I get to deal with the “religion issue”, which raises its head. Again. (Which means I must start this portion of the summary with a non-snark warning. Because, I don’t snark on religion. Much. But, never fear, it won’t take long to get to the snarkable stuff.) Before this episode ends, I may be as mad as they are. (Arguably, I’m already that mad. I’m watching this drek, after all.)

Yes, my friends, IRL this episode opens on October 13, 2005. With Yom Kippur being, as Lee informs us “The most holiest day of the Jewish calendar (which may be correct, but still is poor English), having begun at sundown the day before. Which means that we start with Lee, our observant Team Gold Rush Jew, leaving the suite for synagogue to atone for his sins against God, having already started his 25 hr. fast (which, if you’re interested, also precludes the consumption of water). We know that he’s telling the truth about being observant, because we can observe that he is wearing Adidas sandals with his suit as he leaves (along with black socks). (The wearing of leather shoes is forbidden on this day.)

If you recall, Lenny, who is evidently the non-observant Jew on Team Gold Rush, was none too happy about it when, 8 days previously, Lee took the day off for Rosh Hashanah. He’s no happier about it this time, either, but he accepts it without comment. However a lot of black looks from the team accompany his departure. Bet they don’t realize that there are a total of 13 Jewish holidays that forbid going to work. The next one comes in another 5 days, on the first day of Sukkot, and that holiday requires 2 days off work. Back-to-back. If Lee’s still on the same team, that should be fun to watch.

George, of course, has also taken the day off, leaving us with Bill Rancik sitting in for him. Again.

At any rate, we open with my dh waking from a nap and, already taping something else, befuddled in his semi-sleep state to the point that we don’t get the tape set up for Apprentice in time to see the reaction to Dumb Dan the Do-it-all-Yourself Man’s exodus. Sorry.

Lee leaves for synagogue, the rest are summoned to meet The Donald and a bunch of Arby’s executives. Arby’s is known for their roast beef sandwiches, which they’ve been making for the last 40 years. The Donald is a BIG fan of Arby’s, which we’ll find out more about later. Arby’s is now in the chicken business, too. “Natural” chicken. Coincidentally, dh and I had lunch at Arby’s prior to this episode. Although neither of us had chicken, we did speculate about what “Natural” chicken meant. Are they suggesting that all of the other restaurants are serving animatronics’ chicken? We’ll probably never know since, after a few bad meal memories from while in the CG, dh doesn’t eat chicken. Ever.

Their task for this week? Building a brand. They need to create a jingle for the Arby’s brand. Touting their new Natural chicken. Which, it turns out is, well, chicken. No fillers, no preservatives. No preservatives in a fast food product, known for contamination issues, stored and handled by teenagers in their first job. This is supposed to be a good thing?

Once again, as has been pointed out before, although The Donald loves Arby’s roast beef sandwiches, and is using his mini-me wannabe’s to create an ad campaign for them, he hasn’t bothered to learn the names of either executive at his side when he introduces the task. If he can’t be bothered to know who they are, I can’t, either. One’s a generic female, she shall be called “GF”. The other is a man with really scary eyes. He shall be called “Eyes”.

Charmain, on Team Gold Rush, calls at 9:40 and sets up a 10:15 appointment with the Arby’s executives. That’s 35 minutes out. This is New York City. Remember? Charmain insists that they must leave in the next 10-15 minutes. This is New York. And they are now less than 35 minutes out. Bryce, GR’s Project Manager, promptly ignores her prodding and pontificates to the team about knowing that it’s his ass on the line if they lose so, of course they’ll all pull together for him. This is New York. And they are rapidly losing time. Starting to get the picture?

If the picture of the advancing time on the clock isn’t enough foreshadowing, we’re treated to a NY street scene. Pouring rain, a sea of umbrella’s, and bumper-to-bumper traffic. Seems right to me.

Meanwhile, team Synergy, led by He of the Sexy Voice, Sean, is already on their way. Unlike GR, they’re using their drive time to pump up the team, which they declare “perfect for this task”. We’ll see. At least they’re not wasting time.

In CT Sean informs us that he can adapt his management style to get the best out of everybody. His first decision is to bring the entire team to the meeting with Aby’s because, he explains, “it’s a creative task”, so he wants everybody on the team to hear what the executives have to say. They are warmly greeted and sit down in a conference room where a chicken and an Arby’s logo poster grace the walls, and a window box of flowers sits in the middle of a huge conference table. Which really has nothing to do with the segment. I just found it bizarre. I’ve been in many corporate conference rooms. I’ve yet to see a flower centerpiece for the conference room table.

Tammy kicks it off by asking if there is one key thing that they can take away that would help them, what would it be. Good question. Now, will anyone remember the answer? Which is, according to GF, that there are “no competitors that have a whole line of natural chicken products”, which is a first, making this an innovation for Arby’s. Wonder what the Colonel would say to that.

Allie tells us that they wanted to focus on demographics, and anything else they can find out. Eyes tells us that Arby’s is still thought of as a Roast Beef restaurant. With the chicken addition they want to get the word out that Arby’s is the best Chicken fast food restaurant, too. Let me know if you ever find out if it’s true. As I said earlier, it won’t be happenin’ in my house. Jingle or no jingle.

The meeting breaks up on a happy note and we return to a view of the time. It’s 10:39. Gold Rush is finally in the car, discussing who the executive’s are, oblivious to the time. Unlike DT, they remember their names, too bad they forgot the “Rush” part of their own. GF and Eyes sit silently in the conference room studying their watches and practicing scary eye movements.

And, Lenny pipes up… “Jingle? What is jingle?” He’s been in this country for 14 years, and he has absolutely no freaking idea what a jingle is?!? Oops. Leslie explains that a jingle is a musical number that explains the product or just gives you a catch phrase in your head. Lenny looks unconvinced.

While our executives are left checking their watches, shrugging, and watching their coffee grow cold, the team laughingly gets out of the car and joke with one another that they have no idea where they’re going. But, they get there anyway. Laughing and introducing themselves as they walk through the door, oblivious to the icicles that are hanging in the room like stalactites.

GF says, diplomatically, “We were starting to get worried about you guys a little bit. Did you get lost?” To which Bryce responds, totally blowing them off, “Did we get lost? Um, Leslie’s compiled a bunch a questions here and I’m gonna just kinda let her run down. Please answer whatchoo can. ‘preciate it.” Ummm, not gonna work, Bryce, old boy. Nice try, but do you really think these executives are going to let your rudeness pass so easily? I don’t think so.

Eyes stops him cold and informs them that they are 25 minutes late. In a normal business meeting they might not have made it through the front door. “You are providing services to us, and yet you kept us waiting, so in the future I’d like you to remind yourselves you need to be on time." Uh oh, it finally starts to sink in to Bryce that just maybe they’re a little annoyed with him. He starts to stammer that they are unfamiliar with the area and then, just for good measure, adds “I didn’t even realize we were 25 minutes late ‘cause I don’t think I knew exactly when we were supposed to be here.” Oh, now that would inspire me to trust my project manager. You bet. Charmain, unsurprisingly, looks pissed.

Tarek, in CT, informs us that in any task being judged by executives, priority #1 is to not piss off the executives. He believes that they definitely got off on the wrong foot. Maybe he’s Mensa material after all. Rightly, he blames Bryce, saying that it is ultimately the responsibility of the project manager to get them there on time.

On to the DT lesson of the week: “Command Respect”. “If the leader doesn’t have the respect of his or her employees, it’s over.” Cut to this week’s example. Donald approaches some repairmen working on a broken escalator and proceeds to rip them a new one for having sold him a used escalator instead of a new one.

Yo, Trump? These guys didn’t sell it to you. Their company may have, but that’s not.their.fault. They’re trying to fix it for you. Go yell at someone who counts. And there goes any shred of respect I might have had for you. Well, okay, to be fair, I didn’t have any respect for you to begin with. But, you get my point.

Synergy is in the elevator going up to the recording studio when Roxanne sings “When I’m thinking natural, I’m thinking Arby’s.” They all like it. Tammy adds a few lines about “Tasty, natural, chickens here. You won’t find it anywhere.” Hey, who knew? They were paying attention to GF and Eyes. Allie CT’s that it was a true group effort with everyone suggesting lines that all merged together well. The team is soon dancing around all happily singing their little jingle.

Sean CT’s that the real fun comes when they get together with all of the musicians, adding and subtracting voices and instruments, suggesting harmonies, and putting it all together. They start adding lines about other Arby’s sides. Michael CT’s that Sean is doing a good job, but that he wishes that some of the responsibilities he’s taking on could be better shared within the group. He’s afraid something will slip through the cracks.

Gold Rush is struggling. Who’d a thunk it?. The first real idea comes from Lenny, he who has no idea what a jingle is. He thinks that maybe starting out with using actual jingling bells would be a good idea. Um, No. No, it wouldn’t be. Movin’ on. Tarek puts together a line: “I’ve got a great craving for chicken, and I’m thinking Arby’s”. Bryce writes it down, while Lenny counters with possibly starting by using ring tones. Bill, poor Bill, having been assigned to watch over this clusterfest, looks pained. It’s gonna be a long day.

Lenny admits in CT “Jingle shmingle.” He wishes he could contribute more but, “To me, this really is rocket science. Really.” Followed by him trying to contribute to what Leslie and Charmain are working on, both of whom ignore him. Unfortunately, what he most wants to contribute is the sound of a chicken. *shudder* Charmain CT’s that this might, or might not be, a problem. Trust me on this one. It is.

The women continue to collaborate at the piano, moving lyrics and words around, while Bryce, looking totally out of his element, sits in a corner looking confused. He CT’s that this isn’t one of his strong suits, so he may as well delegate it to someone else. I don’t think he much cares who else. Just someone, anyone, but himself. Hence, Charmain and Leslie get the lyrics, and Tarek, once again, becomes the creative director. Do these people never learn?!? No. Of course not. What was I thinking?

They go with a quartet of singers with subdued keyboard and drums, and, when all is said and done, Bryce is “totally stoked” about how good it is. It has a retro, jingle, type of feel. Okay. But, really… Is this a good thing? We’ll find out. Bryce is just soooo proud of how hard the team has worked on this, and how well they’ve worked together, and how Tarek has done a fabulous job, and how he, Bryce, is responsible for how well they’ve all done. *snicker* The team laughs and dances and congratulate each other.

Interesting. This commercial break we get treated to is an Arby’s commercial. The first one of the night. One with no jingle, and no mention of chicken. Hmm. Wonder what that means?

Time to unveil the creations. It’s the next day and Lee has returned to the Gold Rush fold. They tell him how much he’s going to like what they’ve done, and tell us how great it is to have him back. Why? It’s too late for him to contribute anything.

Sean reminds us that they are being judged on their creativity in creating a 30 second jingle. Thanks, Sean. I’d forgotten that. They get to perform their work live, in front of Arby’s customers and executives. And, The Donald, of course. We mustn’t forget The Donald.

Sean thanks the crowd, tells them how much fun they’ve had working on the project, and hopes they have fun. Their band gears up and delivers the jingle. Nice beat, semi-rock feel, but still a jingle. The crowd laughs, dances, and applauds wildly, and we’re treated to a sight of DT, with a sappy smile on his face, doing dance moves last seen in another decade. Which decade, I’m not sure. I’ve lived through 5 of them, and these moves would have been considered embarrassingly bad in every one that I can recall. Think Elaine from Seinfeld.

Bryce is suddenly nervous because he loved Synergy’s sound, and he didn’t go in that direction. He thanks GF and Eyes for the opportunity and tells everyone that “for the first time” the team “worked as a team”. It’s showtime.

Their “classic radio jingle”, which consists primarily of singing the Arby’s chicken menu, has only the team dancing. DT bobs his head and looks stoned.

GF and Eyes take the stage and DT is introduced as “The Greatest Arby’s Fan Ever” Now, come on. Can you really picture The Hair sitting down to tuck into an Arby’s anything? He calls for a voice vote for Synergy. The crowd goes wild. Now for Gold Rush. *golf clap *

Sean takes credit for being PM, and tells Trump he thinks they did a great job. They raised the bar & took a risk with the sound, but it worked. Bryce admits to being PM for Gold Rush and says his team worked really well together and he’s proud of them.

Time for the execs POV. GF (Trump remembers her name… it’s Debbie) says they did a nice job of mentioning the product line. But, faults them for not mentioning that Arby’s is the only place to get chicken naturals. Eyes (Bill) says Synergy nailed it. They hit all key points and the sound was perfect for the task. Winner, Synergy. No contest.

For their reward Trump is sending them to Alain Ducasse for a 6-course, truffle tasting, menu. He assures them that it will be the most expensive meal they ever eat, including the rare, and expensive ($4000/lb), white truffle being flown in, specifically for them, from the hills of Alba, Italy. Beats dinner at Arby’s. Trump tells them, again, that it will be the most expensive meal they will ever have. “More expensive than Arby’s. But, personally, I prefer Arby’s!” *turns to Eyes * “You understand that.” *much laughter * Yeah, sure he does. We all believe you, Donald. Now go take some more medication so your fantasy world isn’t interrupted.

Gold Rush’s reward is to go to the Boardroom where someone will be fired. I’m no longer sure which is the better reward.

Another Arby’s commercial. Still no jingle, but at least this one is about chicken. I’m still surprised Joan Rivers hasn’t sued over this one. They must be paying her a bundle.

White-gloved wait-staff set the table while talented chefs sear fois gras and plate beautiful starters which are served, minus truffles, which are shaved at table so that the maitre’d can explain to these plebeians what they are about to consume. Allie thinks they should just take pictures of it, because it’s “too pretty to eat”. That doesn’t stop anyone from eating. Sean CT’s a lesson on truffles. Table conversation revolves around Sean’s accent. Moving on.

Bryce calls the team together and praises how well they worked together. He’s just so proud. He tells them he will not backstab, or connive. His parents didn’t raise him that way. Lenny tells the group that if he has to choose between himself and Lee, he is willing to go. He admits he contributed the least because it’s impossible for him to write rhymes in English. Bryce assures Lee that he never thought he “wanted a freebie”, and asks the team to keep a united front. The ultimate responsibility is his. Careful there, buddy. They may just take you up on that.

Bryce tells Trump that they lost because of the music. He says Tarek was the creative director who put it together. Trump reminds him that the idea wasn’t Tarek’s, it was Charmain’s. Ummm… kinda. But, it was a collaboration between Charmain and Leslie and, if there was anything wrong with the lyrics it was that they forgot to say it was exclusive to Arby’s. Um, yeah. But, (get this) he is not about to blame anyone other than himself. Smooth move, big guy. May I get you another can of paint for that target you’re painting on yourself?

Trump asks if he is asking to be fired. Bryce tells him that if he is looking to hire a jingle writer, then, yes, he should fire him. Trump is annoyed. He wants to know who he should fire. Bryce tells him it comes down to who contributed the least. That was Lenny. Lenny doesn’t feel good about that, but admits that he couldn’t contribute. He makes a joke about being the first Russian jingle writer. Trump isn’t laughing. Bill says he used it as a crutch. He can’t imagine that he could be in this country for 14 years and not know what a jingle is. Trump says he can understand not knowing then, but he should certainly know now. Lenny is on thin ice.

Trump zeroes in on Charmain for the lyrics. She does think that they missed a key point. But, neither she, nor Bryce, thinks she’s responsible for that. Bill rats them out to Trump about being 25 minutes late to the executive meeting. Bryce tells Trump that he “wasn’t aware that they were late until they arrived”. Carolyn looks incredulous. Keep digging Bryce. You can almost see China.

Who would Lenny fire? Bryce. Bryce was responsible for everything. He didn’t do anything at all on the task. He can’t write rhymes in English, and translating from Russian didn’t work. Having taken some Russian language, and with it being DH’s minor, we can agree with him here.

Who would Tarek fire? Regrettably, Bryce. See? Isn’t it nice that they’re keeping that front united, Bryce? Lee begs off saying. He says that wouldn’t be fair, because he wasn’t there at all. Trump wants to know if he thinks it’s fair that he missed 2 weeks, effectively getting a bye on the tasks. Lee says he doesn’t want one. If the team thinks he should go, so be it. This is who he is, and he’s not going to misrepresent himself. Trump says it’s tough for the group. But (key phrases here) “Religion is the most important, and I get that” and “Life’s not fair.”Anyone listening? Bryce? Hellooooo?

Leslie would fire Lenny. Bryce defends him. OK, who’s it going to be? “Lenny, and Lee, as well.”See? I knew you weren’t listening. Trump challenges, and Bryce says he can’t say a bad thing about Lee, but he could have used him. He thinks it’s terrible that Lee might be fired for observing a religious holiday, but he wasn’t there and the others were. He doesn’t want to see Lenny fired, either. But, that’s how it goes.

We don’t even need to see the interaction between Trump, Bill, and Carolyn to know where this is going. “Charmain and Tarek were responsible for your losing. Why didn’t you bring them back?” Bryce says he didn’t bring them back because he was ultimately responsible for approving the music. He’s not about to push someone under a bus for stepping up and performing. Tarek and Charmain (Trump’s obvious choices) stepped up. He’s going to protect them. Remember last week’s firing? He obviously didn’t learn anything from that, either. The target now has its bulls eye, and China is increasingly coming into view.

Bryce knows that Trump won’t fire Lee. He doesn’t think that Trump should fire Lee. But, he brought him back because Trump said to bring back two. He keeps arguing that he was ultimately responsible, but that Lenny, great guy that he is, didn’t contribute anything. (“Much”, says Lenny.) When Carolyn argues that the others missed the mark, Bryce argues back that “I, also, missed the mark." God, it’s a good thing this guy isn’t a defense attorney. He's doing as well for himself as Moussaoui is doing avoiding the death penalty.

Carolyn, smiling, cuts to the chase. “Just say ‘Fire me, Mr. Trump.”

Enough of this nonsense. The Great Wall of China has appeared. You may put down your shovel now. Suffice it to say it devolves into Bryce interrupting Trump, trying to out shout him, ramblings about busses, teams, responsibility, and how he was raised. Culminating with telling Trump that he can send Lee back home right now. Unsurprisingly, Trump decides to send both Lee and Lenny back home. “Bryce, You’re Fired!” (But, Trump does think he has great potential.)

As always, it was an "easy decision". And, for once, they're right.

Final CT: “Trump doesn’t scare me, neither does Carolyn, neither does Bill. The best candidate for Mr. Trump is sitting in this car right now, driving home.” “…No one in that suite can do a better job of it than I can. And, I think even Mr. Trump’s gonna figure that out real quick.” “It wouldn’t hurt Mr. Trump to listen once in a while.” Bitter? No, not Bryce. He wasn’t raised to be bitter. Or smart, apparently.

Next week “Extreme Home Makeover: Apprentice Division”. Oh, goody.

Whew. 5,463 words. To describe a show that no one seems to be watching. Serves you right. If you'd watched, you wouldn't have to read.

An Arkie curious cub