LAST EDITED ON 02-27-06 AT 05:37 PM (EST)

(Edited to add some of the events from the original version.)

Oh, for -- it's not a real drinking game unless death is just about mandatory!

To refresh and update your memory on the format -- and remember, this is prior to meeting anyone, so it's all pretty generic. (For those adding their own events, including player-specific, the order goes ultra-common, common, expected (but not often), rare, impossible.)

Take one very small sip when...
...it's a Trump product! A Trump building! A Trump investment! The Trump Dump!
...there's no time to finish the task, but there's always time for a confessional.
...it's cellular walkie-talkie time!
...the men insult the women in a way that would normally bring on a sexual harassment suit.
...the women insult the men in a way that would normally bring on a sexual harassment suit.
...you want to shove any contestant through a brick wall.
...someone isn't there to make friends.
...it's time to play the Boardroom Blame Game! (One sip per pass-off.)
...someone makes a business mistake that a first-time operator of a lemonade stand would know to avoid.

Take one swallow if...
...someone decides passing out pieces of paper on the street is just what this task needs.
...an opportunity to use the Internet arises and passes without anyone turning on a computer. (Counts only twice per episode.)
...it's time for Unca Donald's Lesson Of The Week!
...someone changes teams.
...the corporate sponsor is revealed.
...playground tactics override business sense. Again.
...a contestant is interrupted in the Boardroom by George, Caroline, or Donald.
...a contestant gets their first-ever confessional. (This should last a few episodes.)
...the corporate shill representatives of the week go for their piece of camera time.
...the challenge may have been rigged by the producer. (Covers last-minute saves, mysterious instructions flashing on nearby computer screens, abducted contestants...)
...Donald's been very clearly, very heavily, and undeniably overdubbed.

Drink one shot after...
...hey, look -- Donnie just showed up! (You may apply this to any celebrity guest star, but no more than three times per show.)
...we use a few seconds of screen time to bash Martha a little more.
...someone tries to play the College Card. Also the Race Card, the Age Card, the Business Suit Card, and, gawds help us all, the Guitarzan Card.
...Donald decides who's up for firing and who's going back to the suite (pre-main firing).
...the challenge is misplaced from another MB series.
...the survivors are heading back to the suite, and it's time for inspirational closing music! Also, you lived through another show! Celebrate!
...the show heads outside the five boroughs.
...Kelly speaks! whrrrr -- click!

Make it two once...
...a former and non-winning contestant appears on the show. (This does not exempt the finale. You'll need all the help you can get for the finale.)
...a pair of contestants have serious romantic interest in each other.
...we fire two at once! Or three. How about four? No, that's been done -- hey, let's just get rid of the entire minicorp!
...the editing seems to be treating both sides equally. (This has happened. No, really. Not necessarily on this show, but it's happened.)
...someone pulls a Verna.
...we see a camera operator.
...there's a legitimate chance to mention that one of Donald's businesses is in deep trouble, and no one takes it: i.e. any trip to one of his casinos. Counts only once per episode.

Kill the whole bottle because...
...Donald just rolled his sleeves up, and he's going to help on the task.
...a million-dollar idea just showed up -- pity the contestants will never see a dime of it.
...George and Carolyn actually changed Donald's mind about who he was going to fire.
...someone pulls a The Bradford.
...any contestant uses the subway. (You'd swear NYC transportation consisted of nothing but taxis)
...a contestant calls Donald 'Donald' to his face.
...Donald's hair looks good tonight.

DH has to work late mondays. DM has pilates and doesn't know if she can make it in time. Would it really be drinking by myself, if I knew that somewhere other peeps were doing the drinking game too? Do I have to be concerned about time zones?
Not that it would stop me.

Slice & Dice Chop Shop 2004