Well....As a full-time stepmother, I could expound and expound... However, I'll put a "No" down as my answer.Unfortunately for the step-person, I think you will always be in the #2 position for many things. There will be many times you'll FEEL like #2 or an outsider, and many times you'll actually BE #2. It is the nature of the beast....
Emily will either try hard to make him the "dad" figure and it will work out as best as it can... Or she will put him in that "you're not the real parent" position...and it may not work out. Too many moving parts to know the future!
LAST EDITED ON 05-30-12 AT 07:06 PM (EST)
No not at all! And why "hit parade"?? Odd phrasing...
When I was in that situation, I never looked at it that way & believe anyone who does is only setting themself & their new family up for unnecessary struggles!!
There is NO reason to either feel entitled to or to fight for any position (as if they exist) in any family! When step-dad has an issue he needs mom's attention & mom gives. Ditto for daughter/son, & mom gives. Mom usually attends to her family prioritizing only bc of the set of circumstances that exist.
I say bc I'm a woman/ex-stepmom & daughter to a mom(dad); women are typically more egalitarian in their dispositions (sorry guys can't include u{actually sorry for us women that I can't}).
Men I've found (dad, bf's/hb's) are typically more selective to who they give attention (if they can't help, they tend not to try & if they can't relate tend to stay away). I found the exact reverse to be true for women. (Although both initially will try to Be There when needed, and when not move on to another family member's need.)
Tearing away a woman (or a man) in the midst of all this, their attentiveness to their loved ones, to cry about non-existent nonsense is very immature for anyone to do. I'd more expect the child to behave that way not the adult. (So yikes if that's the case for anyone!)
Anyway, when you Love your family, Love them--that's it!! Placements are for pageants & track meets, Not families!!!!