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Original Message
"Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Estee on 03-01-10 at 07:59 AM
LAST EDITED ON 03-01-10 AT 08:13 AM (EST)

And if you're unlucky enough to find yourself on the side of the highway with Louie & Michael approaching, just dive out of the car and try to land in front of incoming traffic. Ultimately, it'll be easier. 'Hey, look! It's a suspect! Sure, we don't know what they've done if anything, but that's a suspect because we pulled them over, and that means they're guilty of something because we're cops and when we say you've committed a crime, we just have to figure out which one it is! And we've got people who do that last part for us! Say, partner, what crimes do we need to make quota on this month? Anything with a maximum security sentence attached to it? Ah, let's just make something up...'

I know. You're going to say they're undercover detectives, not traffic cops. They were undercover detectives. They've spent the last few weeks exposing their faces to the world. Criminals watch TAR, y'know. 'And there's another country I could flee to, with a mass transit system no one could possibly track me through.' They are known men, and after the events of the first three episodes, they are known morons. We're going with the Dandrew Strategy: near-to-last on every leg through a combination of mental errors, physical ineptitude, and the power of raw stupid.

'Here we are, standing in line. Someone is ahead of us in this line. Let us arrest them for loitering and clear our way. We can't do that because we're in the wrong place? All right, in that case -- hey! They're holding a spot for someone else! They can't do that! No one is allowed to act with special powers unless they happen to be us! Citizen's detainment! Citizen's detainment!'

'We are carrying cans of paint looking for a house that needs painting. If people in other countries happened to be very short, they might live within tiny cracks in walls. Here is a wall. Let us paint it.'

'This cannot be a pantry. I don't see any pants.'

'I have conclusively proven that the set of directions we were given leads in a complete circle. I have done this without following them, checking the instructions against a compass, or using any actual brain cells. I will now dig a hole directly under my feet.' *repeatedly slams face into ground* 'Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole...'

Rhode Island's Finest? Let's hope not. In fact, the whole Race might have just been a desperation move by their captain: if they're out of the country, then they can't do any local harm. (Unless they happen to start a war. And what are the odds of that happening? One in five, tops?) Buddy movies just aren't as much fun for the supervisors if they're actually living with the results, y'know. Turn in your badge. And your gun. And all records that you ever worked here.

So don't get pulled over in Rhode Island. And if you do and have to dive into traffic, be very careful about which car you go in front of.

Because if you're really cursed, Dan & Jordan might be driving it. And miss you.

The human pace is not a standardized measurement. The unit of Racer Stupid, however, is conducted in Dandrews.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Seana on 03-01-10 at 08:40 PM
Yes, it was certainly amusing how Mike determined that they would go in a circle. 4 directions, various lengths (by paces) = circle. Got it.

And Louie has never gone on a search. So any time any kid or senior or mentally handicapped person ever went missing in their part of RI, Louie was never called in on the search in what 20? 30? years in law enforcment? Really? Apparently, he only served warrants.


"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Earl Colby Pottinger on 03-02-10 at 01:49 AM
I can't imagine the welcome they will get back at the station when this race is over, they better not be up for a review for promotion, this show will kill any chances they had. Thank God.
"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Molaholic on 03-02-10 at 09:12 PM
I can't imagine the welcome they will get back at the station when this race is over, they better not be up for a review for promotion, this show will kill any chances they had. Thank God.

Considering the fact that they've identified themselves as "undercover cops" they must be using fake faces. So their grid-search-pattern ineptitude will go unnoticed.



Seana did another one.

"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 03-04-10 at 10:58 AM
They're so good at being undercover that the guys in their own station wouldn't be able to recognize them at all as legitimate cops.
"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by PsychoKitty on 03-04-10 at 06:06 PM
Hahahaha! Good one! ;)
"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by featherfish81 on 03-04-10 at 08:50 PM
At first, I thought they were being pretty clever with the directions. You can look at the directions and distances and add them up so that you only have to walk in one direction. But of course that's not what they did. It probably wouldn't have saved that much time, anyway.
"Louie on Desk Duty?"
Posted by Snidget on 03-09-10 at 03:32 PM
http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/09/amazing-race-louie-stravato-drug-investigation-cocaine-rhode-island-police/

According to the Rhode Island State Police, Louie Stravato has been put on "desk duty" -- after his name came up in a "four month" investigation into a "large-scale" cocaine distribution operation.

Three officers were arrested in a sting operation -- but Stravato was not among them.

According to law enforcement, Stravato was among 4 officers assigned to the desk work following the investigation. The RISP would not comment on the nature of Stravato's involvement in the case.

"RE: Louie on Desk Duty?"
Posted by qwertypie on 03-14-10 at 10:57 PM
I have a really good idea who was the anonymous tip
"RE: Louie on Desk Duty?"
Posted by Estee on 03-16-10 at 12:35 PM
Gosh, why would someone need half a million dollars in a hurry?
"RE: Louie on Desk Duty?"
Posted by kidflash212 on 04-14-10 at 07:54 PM
I wonder if there is anything to be read into the fact he went back to work.



Capn2patch put me in motion!

"RE: Louie on Desk Duty?"
Posted by PepeLePew13 on 04-15-10 at 07:38 PM
Probably not. He probably needed to go back anyway as contestants wouldn't get paid until after the season has ended on TV and the cheques are given to them the day after the finale has aired. Gotta earn some money in the meantime.

(Not that I think he's winning this season anyway).

"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Earl Colby Pottinger on 03-16-10 at 09:45 AM
The last two races these two have been doing very good.

But on the other hand it does not seem to be well thought plans that got them ahead, but rather they are doing tasks in their comfort zone.

Once that tasks change in their nature (and they will) I expect to see these two go thru a melt down.

PS. If I am wrong, I will come back and admit it.

"The 'Karma' t-shirt."
Posted by Estee on 04-05-10 at 00:05 AM
'Come and get us, universe!'

...oh, wait. The universe already did. See what happens when you dare the universe?

"RE: The 'Karma' t-shirt."
Posted by LibraRising on 04-05-10 at 11:08 AM
LAST EDITED ON 04-05-10 AT 11:09 AM (EST)

I think karma would be if the next roadblock was eat five bacon egg and cheese croissandwiches followed by 3 hours of shoveling snow.

"RE: The 'Karma' t-shirt."
Posted by jbug on 04-05-10 at 11:36 AM
I think karma would be if the next roadblock was eat five bacon egg and cheese croissandwiches a dozen glazed donuts followed by 3 hours of shoveling snow.

Fixed that to fit who these guys are

"RE: The 'Karma' t-shirt."
Posted by LibraRising on 04-05-10 at 11:38 AM

That's some nice coconut-breaking, boys.

"RE: The 'Karma' t-shirt."
Posted by PsychoKitty on 04-13-10 at 11:32 PM
FABULOUS!!!!
"They call it 'strategy'."
Posted by Estee on 04-12-10 at 06:52 AM
LAST EDITED ON 04-12-10 AT 06:53 AM (EST)

Please explain to me how Dan & Jordan are greater threats in a F3 than Jet & Cord.

I'll wait.

"RE: They call it 'strategy'."
Posted by kingfish on 04-14-10 at 07:44 AM
Still waiting?

Want a donut?

"RE: They call it 'strategy'."
Posted by LibraRising on 04-14-10 at 01:32 PM
Because they're not "good family people" or whatever the code word has been this season?

I've not been following spoilers at all this season (I rarely do for TAR) but am hoping that the fact that they've twice articulated their preferred final 3 means that will NOT be the final 3, and that either them or Brent and Caite will be the 4th place finisher. There's usually one team in the final 3 whose win would make me retch, but I don't know if I could stand it if there were two out of three.


A kyngsladye klassic with an IceCat chaser

"RE: They call it 'strategy'."
Posted by kidflash212 on 04-14-10 at 07:56 PM
Agree, I'm considering if I'd actually watch if they were both in the F3.


Capn2patch put me in motion!

"RE: They call it 'strategy'."
Posted by featherfish81 on 04-15-10 at 11:08 PM
I would, if only to cheer really loudly for the third team.
"Promotion standards."
Posted by Estee on 04-26-10 at 09:13 AM
So based on the available evidence, what Rhode Island likes to see in its detective candidates is low intelligence, zero cultural sensitivity, a total lack of patience, obsession with hurting people and shooting everything in sight, plus total inability to recognize or solve a clue.

Also, the current year in Rhode Island? 1973.

"RE: Don't get pulled over in Rhode Island."
Posted by Estee on 05-03-10 at 09:25 AM
Oh, the deductive skills.

Oh, the trained observation ability.

Oh, the job opportunities that await them in Arizona.