Answer the following ten questions in any bashing way you see fit.

1. You are a Chilean housepainter. A pair of strange Americans just entered the residence you were working on (completely uninvited) and painted part of the wall, then turned to you and asked for something in a language you didn't understand. What do you do next?

2. How do you personally plan on telling the two Jordans apart?

3. Brandy & Carol stated that if a clue asked them to find the nearest Louis Vitton store, they'll win the Race on the spot. What would some of the other teams be able to instinctively locate?

4. Using that little-known (and long-neglected) branch of algebra called Lisi Math, help Caite explain how seven equals two.

5. What would you have done to get Adrian across that cable?

6. Jet & Cord need help acquiring Chile-negotiable funds. What are some of the things they could have gotten at the LA airport to ease their future spending? (Note: 'shoes' has been disqualified as an answer due to prior evidence.)

7. Why was there no Detour on this leg?

8. You are an undercover police officer. Your life and those of your loved ones depends on keeping your true identity a secret. You have chosen to appear on a reality show under your own name and face. Why?

9. Steve mentioned that he has a World Series ring from the Phillies, but neglected to bring up that he was pretty much the only member of that coaching staff let go (right after the last of the confetti was swept up) and is now with the Indians. Can you think of any reason for him to leave that detail out?

10. Jody believes her sense of balance started to go when she turned forty. Which sense of all the Racers started to go as soon as they signed the contract?

Showing more raw stupidity with nearly-all rookies in a single hour than Survivor can manage in two veteran ones.

• RE: TAR 16 Hawkeye 10: The Amazing Race: Home Invasion Edition!,Snidget, 12:35 PM, 02-15-10
• RE: TAR 16 Hawkeye 10: The Amazing Race: Home Invasion Edition!,Molaholic, 01:43 PM, 02-15-10
• RE: TAR 16 Hawkeye 10: The Amazing Race: Home Invasion Edition!,Belle Book, 07:33 PM, 02-15-10

1. Sell their passports to cover the cost of materials to fix what they screwed up.

2. Tell them it is a quarter till the hour and see which one locks up.

3. Louis and Michael, the nearest drug bust.
Jet and Cord the nearest Rodeo.

4. Well seven has five letters so you subtract that from seven to get two.

5. Borrowed one of the New Zealand Air Force Helicopters from the Survivor premiere.

6. Dried Chilies.

7. A detour is a choice between seven options just doesn't work.

8. Because you are angling for a "I Get That A Lot"/"Cops" cross over special.

9. The 47 hours of sobbing was left on the cutting room floor.

10. Common Sense. Sense of Proportion. Sense of Humor about one's self.

So glad to have Hawkeye back!

1. You are a Chilean housepainter. A pair of strange Americans just entered the residence you were working on (completely uninvited) and painted part of the wall, then turned to you and asked for something in a language you didn't understand. What do you do next?
Considering they also had a camera crew with them, I'd demand an autograph from Phil. Afterall, the whole world knows about TAR, right?

2. How do you personally plan on telling the two Jordans apart?
What do you mean two?

3. Brandy & Carol stated that if a clue asked them to find the nearest Louis Vitton store, they'll win the Race on the spot. What would some of the other teams be able to instinctively locate?
Adrian -- the nearest McDonalds/Wendys/Dennys.

4. Using that little-known (and long-neglected) branch of algebra called Lisi Math, help Caite explain how seven equals two.
Seven equals two because some people don't have fives, like the ones in the Chile or Brasiarel or the ones that don't have fours either.

5. What would you have done to get Adrian across that cable?
Twoallbeefpattiesspecialsaucelettucecheesepicklesonionsonasesameseedbun^® on the other side.

6. Jet & Cord need help acquiring Chile-negotiable funds. What are some of the things they could have gotten at the LA airport to ease their future spending? (Note: 'shoes' has been disqualified as an answer due to prior evidence.)
They should have hit a 7-11 and bought some lottery tickets.

7. Why was there no Detour on this leg?
What, and edit out all the stupidity?

8. You are an undercover police officer. Your life and those of your loved ones depends on keeping your true identity a secret. You have chosen to appear on a reality show under your own name and face. Why?
Telling people you are under cover on an EIGHT TIME EMMY^® WINNING program is the best way to insure that you can actually keep your under cover status. Besides, most drug dealers watch Lost.

9. Steve mentioned that he has a World Series ring from the Phillies, but neglected to bring up that he was pretty much the only member of that coaching staff let go (right after the last of the confetti was swept up) and is now with the Indians. Can you think of any reason for him to leave that detail out?
Let me see -- the fact that he actually took a job in Cleveland might give us a clue as to his real intellectual range.

10. Jody believes her sense of balance started to go when she turned forty. Which sense of all the Racers started to go as soon as they signed the contract?
Sorry, if I were to list them, this thresd would stretch all the way to Chile.

JSlice. Absolute perfection incarnate. Honestly.