I think we all love Jessica but are baffled by her selfish behavior. I think she is deeply deeply ambivalent about the public saint role she has been given and the good attention she has received from that public visibility. I think that is why when she acts out (like crossing Lisa's name off the life boat list) she is so outer limits. I think she likes to be thought of as a saint because she can identify with her mother and the pedastal on which she saw her mother. She clearly thought the world of her mother but now the world sees her mother as a hero too. The fact that the world thinks something slightly different than what she saw puts that pedastal on shaky ground. I think the tragedy for Jessica is that she never got to see her mother as mortal while she was alive. Was her relationship with her mother actually so perfect?

• RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,surferstar, 06:57 PM, 10-26-05
  • RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,candor, 07:25 PM, 10-26-05
• RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,mhb0125, 07:18 PM, 10-26-05
  • RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,Cleverone, 07:32 PM, 10-26-05
    • RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,justashell, 12:47 PM, 10-27-05
      • RE: The attention conversation didn't ever get to Jessica,candor, 01:16 PM, 10-27-05

I said this on another post.

"Jessica's dad has a new wife. I don't know how long he has been married but it was mentioned on yesterday's show.

Jessica obviously is not too happy about first losing her mother and now having to deal with her dad's new marriage. She is no longer the center of attention. I think this may explain her behavior."

This is why she behaves the way she does. She's not daddy's little girl any more. Its time one of the life coaches set her straight about growing up.

I agree that her dad is part of the mix too. I don't see it as a grow up kind of thing.

I think she can't find her "space" to grieve from the "public tragedy" (that's how her steps are laid out) because she is ambivalent about the public attention and what it gives her. (She was pointed to by the body language expert as the one who was the least comfortable in her own skin.)

On the one hand she has a kind of saint fame association from the death of her mother, which I mean come on who doesn't want to be considered an exceptionally good person, especially when they are confused and not sure of themselves.

On the other the fulfillment of that desire is a kind of addiction for her which keeps her from feeling and grieving the loss. She recognizes that she can't complete the grief- but I don't think she has a clue that she's trying to hold onto public sainthood. She sees herself as rejecting the public attention when in actuality she's holding onto it.

For her to finish the grief process she has to take the spotlight down, like Dr. Stan said.

A bird, upon awakening, does not say to themself, "today I won't fly"

I totally agree with you! I think Jessica feels guilty about her mother's death because she feels like she wasn't the best daughter she could be. Remember she said she was pretty mean to her mother. In my opinion, she is SO, SO, SO selfish. The whole house is not about HER and just HER feelings. I feel bad for her, don't get me wrong, but her holier than thou attitude is a tad bit annoying.

>I totally agree with you!
>I think Jessica feels guilty
>about her mother's death because
>she feels like she wasn't
>the best daughter she could
>be. Remember she said
>she was pretty mean to
>her mother. In my
>opinion, she is SO, SO,
>SO selfish. The whole
>house is not about HER
>and just HER feelings.
>I feel bad for her,
>don't get me wrong, but
>her holier than thou attitude
>is a tad bit annoying.
>

Well said to all of you ladies....I sympathized with her initially, but she's got more problems than her mom's death and her selfish attitude is grating on my nerves....make up your mind Jess...is it going to be public or private....your actions are confusing to all...no wonder nobody can relate to you..."YOU DON"T WANT THEM TO"!

****************************
"I walk in my own shoes..."
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I think Jessica's identity has somehow gotten mixed up with the events of 9/11.

I think that what happened came at a very critical point in her development as an adult.

It seems she is having a hard time trying to "please" others, acknowledge her personal needs, assert herself as an adult, and accept that her relationship with her mother, while not all good, was not all bad---and that the best thing she can do to honor herself and honor her mother, is to be the best she can be.

PS---I wonder if deep down inside, Jessica feels like God is punishing her for not being a totally "perfect" child.

Hey there,

I>think Jessica's identity has somehow >gotten mixed up with the
>events of 9/11.

Hmm, maybe?

> I >think that what happened came at a very critical point
in her development as an >adult. > PS---I >wonder if deep down inside, >Jessica feels like God is >punishing her for not being >a totally "perfect" child.

She talked about having a lot of guilt from her mom giving her money when she was setting up her apartment. She keeps saying that she was really close to her mother, but I don't think she's moved beyond seeing her mother as a mythical care taking creature. Maybe her mom was a matyr?

Is she catholic? I think there is a lot of guilt playing. When I look at her she seems in somekind of hyper reality- and in a supernatural fantasy world where her mother is? I've been reading a little Jung and so I'm curious about her unconscious mythology in all this.

It>seems she is having a
>hard time trying to "please"
>others, acknowledge her personal needs,
>assert herself as an adult,
>and accept that her relationship
>with her mother, while not
>all good, was not all
>bad---and that the best thing
>she can do to honor
>herself and honor her mother,
>is to be the best
>she can be.
>

Yes, poor thing.

Thanks for posting. I hope you post again.

I've been learning a lot about myself by watching these women. How to find the truth and compassion for yourself and others!!

Cheers.