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Thread Number: 160
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Original Message
"Tiffany wants to get a job another series."

Posted by Estee on 04-09-09 at 06:16 AM
And what Tiffany wants, VH1 has provided. Again.

What Tiffany actually needs here (beyond lots and lots of therapy followed by the immediate isolation of her mother in a soundproof booth -- forever) is money, so what we're going to do is rip off The Simple Life. For cash. Every week, our dear Tiff will take on a new job. If she impresses her bosses, she gets $5,000. If she quits, gets fired, kills anyone, or trots out the maternally-inspired side of her personality, she gets the grand sum of diddly/squat.

Are we having fun yet? No? Then try this: there's a Vote For The Worst element here. Every week, we get to pick one of three jobs Tiffany will attempt to destroy, thus worsening the recession and forcing more innocents to apply for VH1 shows. Tiffany will then try to enter that occupation, the network will work on the shortest shooting schedule since South Park, and the results will air Real Soon Now. They're encouraging us to send her into places where she'll have to work with children and animals. Apparently VH1 likes dead children. And animals. But mostly children, since their deaths bring less lawsuits.

Premiere is May 4th. Says VH1: "We’re counting on you to bring the pain, America!"

To who?

Thanks, but we've got plenty.

Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"And you wondered where the money came from."
Posted by Estee on 04-29-09 at 03:55 PM
Tiff's prospective per-episode salary has been raised to 10k. VH1's sneak peek commercial gave us three options for her first viewer-chosen means of earning the cash: ranch hand, baker, or exterminator.

Text votes only, please. One dollar per vote, ten votes per line.

...how about 'no'? Is 'no' good for you?

"RE: And you wondered where the money came from."
Posted by ssinmd on 04-30-09 at 06:01 AM
They had to up the money, because the chance of her succeeding are so very slim. Vh1 blog, BTW, is pimping ranch hand. If I cared enough, I would vote for exterminator. Small, dirty spaces? Rats? Bugs? Face mask? Sounds good to me.

Posted by Estee on 05-05-09 at 01:00 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-05-09 AT 01:01 PM (EST)

Like watching The Simple Life, but without the incredibly faint hope that this idiot might somehow learn something.

What did we find out last night? That Tiffany's charms include a full array of previously-unseen phobias, all of which are going to be trotted out before us in the world's most predictable parade. Of course she's going to hate every single thing she has to do. Of course she's going to quit on pretty much all of them before being reminded about the money. It's like watching Janice Dickinson, only with slightly less makeup.

I have to think the only reason she got paid for her exterminating job (in which the only thing she killed was 90% of her previous viewer count) was to plant the seed: yes, she can get money for this. If she thinks she can collect a second check, she'll head directly to every other episode and quit on whatever she finds there, too!

Was there any humor? Some. Just a tiny touch. But it's repetitive in nature, and it's probably going to get boring fast. So far, the best thing about the series is the opening credit sequence: the animation is a nice touch -- and given who we're dealing with, it's the most 'real' thing here. (Anyone think the snake and dead rat weren't planted beforehand? Anyone...?)

Next week: pig farmer, construction worker, or pet groomer.

I vote for shark feeder.

Live bait.

She's dealt with her mother, so she has previous experience.

"RE: Tiffany wants to get a job another series."
Posted by BriarRosie on 05-07-09 at 11:33 PM
Looks like people will vote for the dirtiest, muckiest jobs, so I bet she does pig farming next week.

I wish I could vote for her to be Mike Rowe's assistant. Feels like that's what she's going to be doing, anyway.


"Screaming for (lack of) cash."
Posted by Estee on 05-26-09 at 04:09 PM
So far, all the four episodes have taught me is not to hire her for anything. A.ny.thing. She skives off anything she doesn't like. Runs in terror at the drop of a hat, the appearance of a pig, or the manifestation of actual work. Drinks on the job. Whines. Complains. Be-yotches. Refuses to see how anything could ever possibly be her fault. And then expects to get paid for it.

Still waiting on 'sewer worker'. We could lock her in.

"RE: Screaming for (lack of) cash."
Posted by Stephy_lurz_yeah on 05-29-09 at 12:39 PM
i love tiffany pollard...she is not afraid too speak herr mind....herr mommy is the reason she is the way she is so....

"RE: Screaming for (lack of) cash."
Posted by DaveThe Dude on 07-10-09 at 09:46 AM
The TV creation known as "Tiffany" or "New York" or whatever, is a fairly disgusting, obnoxious person. But then again, this is the "role" she is to play. Who knows what this creature of "reality" TV is really like? If she's anything like the awful mess she portrays on TV, well, UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"RE: Screaming for (lack of) cash."
Posted by toad8098 on 07-12-09 at 06:00 PM
Please, do NOT let there be an I Love New York 3!!!