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Original Message
"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"

Posted by sharnina on 07-05-06 at 11:40 AM
LAST EDITED ON 07-07-06 AT 03:31 AM (EST)

Bad News Bulletin!!!

Memo to all houseguests, life coaches, strange psychologists, and various other people hanging out at the Starting Over House ---

We have been given notice that the house must be vacated by the end of next week so get to packin'.

If you have any farewell words to deliver, begin preparing them now. We will have a closing ceremony and farewell party on Saturday, July 15th at 7pm.


You need not just follow my lead here. You can take this in any show-related direction you wish.

Remember to use your sigs, or at least sign off as your characters.


Discussion-type posts may be removed. BUT . . . You may address or ask questions of the role-players as their characters.

E-mail or PM me with any problems.

Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.

Table of contents

Messages in this discussion
"Say It Ain't SO!"
Posted by kircon on 07-05-06 at 12:47 PM
What? We have to vacate this free room & board.

Any one have a spare bathroom, closet, or garage I could use?

Got to go. *drags on cig* *makes a large question mark*

I have a wedding gig. Hey Andy! I don't have anything to wear for this wedding. I want to look good. I heard David Cassidy is going to be there. *cups hand around mouth* Don't tell anyone but I've had a crush on that partridge forever.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"
Posted by BlowingOver on 07-05-06 at 04:24 PM


::leaps from wheelchair::

::bursts out of straitjacket::

Cancel the 24 hour lithium drip, doctors. Free at last!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"
Posted by kircon on 07-08-06 at 03:49 AM
Oh! Dr. Stan, I'm so glad you're OK? I was so worried about you. You almost hit me. Then they took you away. *wierd lip movements*

Would you like to go with me to the wedding. I'll wear my graduation dress. I know you liked that on me.

"::fake laughth::"
Posted by BlowingOver on 07-05-06 at 04:39 PM
Oh, Jon! You can never get rid of uth.

You thee, Thrtarting Over will alwayth be within you becauth it ith an eternal flame and memorial of loving love and the true truth of authentic authentithity.

Though I fully rethpect and validate your right to expreth your need to throw uth out on the threet, I know that you will live in the light of luminothity and reconthider the thentre of your ever prethentth of luthtrous loverothity of luthiouthneth.


"Where's my MAN?"
Posted by alaholly on 07-06-06 at 00:29 AM
"DAMMIT! I came here to land a really rich guy meet some interesting people and I'm sorry to say I haven't gotten lucky met the right person."

<Adjusts belly baring teen t-shirt to expose more skin>

"I really need to find my sugar daddy special someone."

<Fake cries, whines, does a quick little gag and hiccup>

"Can't ANNNNYone help me???"

Oh Daddy what do I do???

"Singin' money money money..."
Posted by alaholly on 07-06-06 at 01:17 AM
"Uh Mr. Jon...are we gettin' a, like, BIG, severance package before we leave? I'm gonna be needin' some Stahtin' Ovah Cash heyah. Yeah lots of cash for uh, expenses. Necessities. Ya know like cab fayah (cuz I don't do buses ya know). And I'm gonna be needin' a nice new club work wardrobe. I need to look like a REAL grown a$$ businesswoman with some stylin' clothes and all. And well, I still seem to have a TINY little debt problem. I owe a bit more money than when I got heyah now that Stahtin' Ovah has taught me how to shop for furniture."

<Removes Jodi's arm from around her neck as Jodi whispers in her ear>

"Yeah and I'm gonna need some extra bucks for a real nice outfit for the big weddin' comin' up soon."

"So ya got some cash and Credit Cahds for me, huh, Mr. Jon??? It's REAL impohtant!"

I betta get somethin' outta this besides a hickey from Jodi.

"So many makeovers, so little time..."
Posted by JavaT on 07-06-06 at 09:46 PM
Oh, my! July 15th?? How on earth can I possibly:

a. finish giving birth to my twins (they said it could take days)
b. arrange wedding makeovers for Jodi and Allithun
c. tweeze my upper lip eyebrows
d. redo Mom's highlights
e. analyze each HG's personal color palette and coordinate it with the crap clothing I drag them around to try on lovely new attire I suggest to them
f. run another 5k and come in first
g. spend quality time with my new sister Jodi
h. and say sniff... sniff... farewell to everyone?!

Please, Mr. Murray, please give us more time! I promise you, I won't try and do a makeover on you. And how many times do I have to apologize for the bikini wax I tried on you while you were sleeping? I still maintain it's a necessary evil, especially in your case, but that's another story.

And your Speedos? I love them! Did I tell you that? Did I tell you that I love the look of your little knobby knees and white chicken legs manly Schwarzenegger-like thighs protruding from beneath those tight little bun-hugging shorts? Huh? Did I tell you that?

*hisses in an annoyed stage whisper*
OK, Mom, I said it already! Will you leave me alone now?! For crying out loud, you talk to the man! All he means to me is more air time! If you like him, you go kiss up to him!

Ahem. Anyway. Goodbye for now, Mr. Murray. Oh, did I tell you I was toying with the idea of naming one of my twins Jon-Boy?

"I would appreciate a response heyah."
Posted by alaholly on 07-07-06 at 01:26 AM
"Okay Mr. Jon. I need an an-saw heyah. Just how much cash am I gonna get to help me Staht Ovah??? How come ya not callin' me back? I was real serious about doin' somethin' with those photos I found in the trash down by the hot tub. Does the word Speedo mean anythin' to you? Huh? Huh? Let's talk real soon."

I'm not messin' around heyah.

"Me Too!!!"
Posted by mbinkc on 07-07-06 at 02:43 AM
Helllooo Ladieeesss!!

Just what is the deal here?? I come in with this spectacular idea of all of the ladies playing Twister, and raise $27 dollars millions for their fantabulous talent show, and now I have to leave? How rude!!

I am missing several super shiny tank tops and lots of short shorts too! I'm not leaving until I find my clothes, Mr. Bigshot John Boy. Perhaps you know where they are? Hmmmmm???

And while I'm at it (gosh darn it, I am on a roll here), I somehow acquired a wife while I was here!! What is with you ladies?? You do know that I, ahhh, well...hmmmmm, that girls are...you know, like, ummmm...not my first choice in a partner, don't youuuuuuu???? Do I have to spell it out for you? Oh, pleassseee don't make me say it. So, again, another reason that I am not leaving until this little matter is taken care of. What do you think this is doing to my dear, darling Dr. Stanley?? Oh, the poor thing.

Ladies, a quick idea to run past you while the other matters are being resolved...what do you think about me starting my own GAME SHOW? I just got this wild idea that since the Twister game was such a money maker at the talent show, I should turn it into a revolutionary, ever so interactive show! Do you like?? Don't be shy with your insults input!! I just know this is going to be the next big show sweeping the nation!

Did I just see that Partridge boy in a pair of my short shorts?

"Attention Mr. Richard Simmons..."
Posted by mbinkc on 07-07-06 at 02:58 AM
You knows what, Mr. Richard Simmons?? I be good at writin da poetry an stuff...we all be knowin dat. But you know what else I be good at? Figgerin out when da people says "Do I has ta spell it out fo you?" So here I goes...



Hold on, I be tryin to get it.

Lemme see...F-L-A-M-B-I-N-G??

Did I be gettin it right?? I love da spellin games!

Okay, gotsta get back to da pickin up da trash along da highway. Only 182 mo days, den I be done!

Spellin games is fun fo me, cuz I be Poetri!

"Oh, my darling Boo-Boo, you are thuch a hoot!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 07-07-06 at 03:40 PM
::throws her new little fuzzy wuzzy sparkly husband down on ground::

::smothers him with kisses::

How your thauthy humor delighth me!

"RE: Oh, my darling Boo-Boo, you are thuch a hoot!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 07-07-06 at 03:46 PM
Is that a hickey on your neck, Richard?

"RE: I would appreciate a response heyah."
Posted by sharnina on 07-07-06 at 02:44 AM
Yeah, whatever... Everybody and their brother knows about the Speedos - now tell me something new.

And no - no severence. But I do have some advice for you - Get.a.job. That's spelled J - O - B. Get one.

How's that for an answer, you big grown a$$ woman?

"RE: I would appreciate a response heyah."
Posted by alaholly on 07-07-06 at 09:16 AM
"Are you freakin' KIDDIN' me??? I'm not talkin' about the photos WITH the Speedos...I'm talkin' about the ones WITHOUT. You know, the ones with you and a certain female in a TUTU?!!! Let's get serious heyah Mr. Jon."

I have a <bleepin'> job...I'm a grown a$$ entra-pre-nuah!

"Nothin' says "wedding" like twinkies, ding dongs, and snowballs- oh my!"
Posted by catmama on 07-07-06 at 01:36 PM
Antonia, my little sister, I'll buy you an outfit! We can go to Forever 21, and you can go wild! Then, we can take Christina to the park, get her an ice cream cone, let her ride the carousel, and take her shopping for a flower girl's dress. I think J.C. Penney will have something appropriate. Maybe Gymboree. Too bad my new sister, Andy, is, um, indisposed at the moment; I think she could really help us out in the whole wedding attire situation. Has anyone seen my Danny boy? I heard he went to have the invitations reprinted, and I need to put in an order for that cake Andy showed me- it's absoloutely perfect for the occasion! I still haven't figured out what we will all tell Rhonda and Christie, if they happen to catch on to all the planning. But, since we are all about to vacate, I guess we don't have to be so sneaky. You coming with, Antonia? We've got some of Mr. Murray's money to spend! shopping to do!

Oh, Lisa? I think I saw Maureen eyeballing David Cassidy- you might want to make your move before she asphyxiates gets him!

"RE: Nothin' says "wedding" like cold, hard, CASH!"
Posted by alaholly on 07-07-06 at 02:45 PM
"Did you say SHOPPIN' and MONEY oh Sistah of mine? Cha-ching, cha-ching,...I'm with you, girlfriend. Let's go!"

You do have a cah, right? Ya know about me an' buses...

"Yahd sale! Great items right heyah!!"
Posted by alaholly on 07-09-06 at 02:09 PM
<Antonia wandering around a mostly empty Starting Over House>

"Wheyah is everybody? Are you kiddin' me?!? We got a big weddin' and a big move comin' up. Wheyah the <bleep> are they? They must all be out somewheyah at the bar gettin' hammahd shoppin' for the weddin'. But dammit I'm outta cash again so I think I'll just take a little look around and see if I can find a few extra things to sell at my movin' sale. I'm shuah no one will mind...we are all packin' our sh!t anyways preparin' to leave this nut house."

<Starts rummaging through housemates rooms picking out items>

"Hmmmm. What are all these flasks doin' hidin' in heyah? I guess no one wants these. (Puts them in large bag) And Lisa won't mind if I sell this freakin' baby outfit. That thing is nasty! (Stuffs it in bag) I've got some striped short shorts heyah and sequined tops, a coupla tutus and a coupla speedos I found down by the hot tub. Don't think I'll get much for those."

"Let's see...(Pushes piles of food wrappers out of the way) I got a few outfits from Jodi's room but the sides are all split on them...I got loads of unsold Tuppahware containers...lots of cheap homemade jewelry...an unused dictionary and some XXXXL shorts from Christie's room...some framed Niambi love poems...tons of cleanin' supplies...a random assortment of tweezers...some really bad art..." (Jams everything in bag)

<Looks behind books in bookshelf and see lots of strange little bottles and jars>

"Mama I's potions!! This could be really good..."

Cha-ching! This is gonna be one big a$$ yard sale!! Anybody wanna help?

"Ach, my Bridey!"
Posted by Sahara on 07-09-06 at 08:29 PM
*arrives at Starting Over House in limo*

*pulls fold-up ladder out of trunk*

*goes to back of house and sets ladder up against upstairs bedroom window*

*begins to sing*

"Ach, zveet myztery of life, at lazt I've found thee...."

Iz my Fraulein Bridey up there? It'z your leetle spider Vantie!

*climbs up ladder while shooing Christina off as she tries to use it as a pole*

*pulls spider-shaped diamond ring out of pocket*

*climbs in window*

Ach, my dearezt Brideykinz, here ve are at lazt alone together! My goodnezz, but you look a fright in your green night cream. You're velcome, dear!

*bends down on one knee*

AAAACCCCHHHH!!! I forgot about die arthritiz. Bridey, my pet, my zweet, vill you do me die honor of becomink my vife? I vould be zo happy to zpend the rezt of my life egzperimentink vith you. You zend leetle lightnink boltz down into my heart.

I vill never allow one leetle wrinkle on your zveet preciouz faze.

"RE: Ach, my Bridey!"
Posted by JavaT on 07-10-06 at 05:36 AM

Oh, VANTIE! Well, you sweet little spidery-looking thing, you, get up off that bony knee and hop in the sack sit on the edge of my bed! Of course I'll be your vife, I mean wife! Hold on and lemme wipe this crap off my face so's I can kiss you right.

**SMACK (big fat wet kiss)**

What great things we have ahead of us! Hope you don't mind being a grandfather, 'cause Andy has finally given birth. News of her twins is forthcoming. I was at the hospital as long as they let me stay, but when the twins finally emerged there was this blinding light and the power went off and oy vey, the pandemonium! After that I flat out needed a drink so I just came on home. I'm sure everything's OK, though.

But back to us, my little munchkin. I can't wait to be your wife. We've had that silly old faux redhead Allithun eloping with Mr. Sparkle Pants, and now Jodi's marrying that Partridge boy. I can't imagine either of those relationships will work, so we'll jut have to shown them how it's done, huh.

Lightning bolts? OOOOOOOOOooooowheeeeeeee! A man after my own heart! I owe my life to lightning! And I'll give you a jolt, you cute little bald thing, you!


"Ah love this tub!"
Posted by Sahara on 07-09-06 at 08:43 PM
*sprawls in tub, covered with big globs of cotton candy and sweat mixed together*

Ah am so glad I get to use this tub. Ah deserves it after all that hard work at that talent show, which I WON!!!!! Ah knew I was better than everybody else. Now ah just want to get with that cutie Landre. *sigh*

Hey, camera lady, would you please go ahead and film me in here? I want to send a copy to Landre, since ah can't ever show it to mah old day-ud husband.

*turns tub into big gross mess of cotton candy*

*pulls pregnancy test out of cupboard*

Ah don't think Christina will miss one of these dozen preggie tests in heah.

*takes test*

Oh, mah goodness, ah am pregnant! Now whose could it be, since ah am celibate? Oh, I forgot about the cameras...turn those off, you idiots!

Let's see, the father could be Danny from that time he was too high to know what he was doin'...or Landre when ah knocked him out after that talent show...or Richard from those Twister poses...or Jodi, cuz ah liked those snowballs...or...ah just don't remember, cuz ah'm celibate!

"HOW could I have not won????!!!!!"
Posted by Sahara on 07-09-06 at 08:56 PM
I was the most beautiful, the sexiest, the most sophisticated, the most truly authentic...HOW did I not win that talent show? Oh, I miss Buddha!

*goes to mirror*

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most talented of all?

Well, dear Rhonda,

Your talents at manipulation and you-know-what cannot be beat.
But when it comes to singing, you need to take a seat.

*begins to cry*

I did my best, I really did! I worked so hard, and I had so much fun, especially breaking in my tutu.

*blows nose and dries tears*

Well, I will just have to go and ask Jon-Boy the Great BM if he is offering a consolation prize. Yes, that is what I will do!

Be fearless, but be fearful of ME.
I will have to be finding someone else to "consult" with soon since the show is down the tubes. My real goal is to be the next Oprah. Hmmm....maybe Dr. Phil could help me out with that.

"RE: HOW could I have not won????!!!!!"
Posted by JavaT on 07-10-06 at 06:21 AM
Don't hold your breath, sister.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"
Posted by JavaT on 07-10-06 at 06:27 AM
Hey, let's get this wedding on the road! Danny, you ready? Jabba, er, I mean Jodi, are you ready? Can I hold your HoHos flowers while you say your vows? Huh? Can I? Can I? Is it time for me to sing yet? Do I get to tie tin cans on the back of the Partridge Family bus yet? Hustle, people, hustle! Let's get cracking!

It's been simply ages since I wore that shirt with the ruffles on it, and I bet it still fits. Come on, you guys, let's get a move on!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"
Posted by 26mitogo on 07-11-06 at 03:52 AM
WHAT??!!! A WEDDING??????


Holy %*@#$%! I had to leave the talent show early ... well, you DO remember I HAD to get to the Miss America Mall Beauty Pageant. They couldn't have it without me, I was the star, you know! ::quickly repositions into beauty pageant pose::

And my fans! They are sooo demanding. They just don't know what to do without my inspiration. And it was time for me to tell them what book to read on my "Book Club" site but I had to R-E-A-D one 1st. Wow, that was hard. And it took me 2 weeks - my lips don't move very fast.

But, OK, if the wedding is for my sweet sister & part-time lover, Jodi, I'll tell Rhonda it will be OK with me. BUT, that better mean I get to move in with you guys. Jodi, you do remember your pledge to love, honor, & support me all the days of our lives, don't you? You better not forget that! I have a copy of the tape right here with me! I'm your's forever, baby. You can have your little man-muffin on the side, but I'll always be your sugar-muffin!

I am a professional event planner & a family relations specialist with training in "to-do lists" and "schedules", I can be the manager of your wedding ! What'cha say my little sweetie-cum-Jodi-poo??? Want me to turn this wedding into a hum-dinger? Together, honey, we could throw some rock'n wedd'n ... oh, yeah, including your sweetie pie ... our hubby! Uh, Danny-kins IS looking forward to wedded bliss to his two perfect women, isn't he? Because I knwo you wouldn't go ahead with this without his blessing. And ....... uuuuuuhhhhhhmmmmmm ........sssooooo .........hhoowwww...aaaa how .....how is un ,,,,,he? You know, in mmmm in there??? need to dnow this stuff!

I will get to wear a white dress for the cerimony won't I ... with my "Beauty Pageant" Sash on it for just a touch of color!

I am beautiful, you know. And I have compassion.
I am very famous because I am in Rhonda’s book.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 22"
Posted by sharnina on 07-11-06 at 04:00 AM
Okay Christie and David - you do know that people are waiting for you to make an appearance on this week's show right?

Make your way over to this week's episode and you will find a special guest there who is probably dying to see what shenanigans you two are up to these days.

And by the way David - the ruffled shirt looked stupid then and it will probably look stupid now - might want to skip the shirt, pal.

God is good all the time and all the time, God is good.