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Original Message
"Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Seana on 03-18-07 at 11:32 PM

Say hello to my little friend. I tried to have my Native Greeter replaced with Tupac here, but for some reason we insist on having humans fill the role. *shrug*

Oh, holy heck. Hey, Native Greeter, who's that? Is that Charla and Mirna? Seriously? They're first? Um, here, put in these earplugs. Just trust me.

Charla and Mirna, you're Team Number One! *cringe* Man, that noise made it right through these stupid foam things. Next time, I'm getting the heavy industrial...wait. Next time? Oh, no. It couldn't possibly happen again.

Oh... yes, I see you two *are* standing right there. Heh. You've won a trip for 2 to Aruba! It's warm there, so you won't need to worry about turning into popsicles or saying awful suggestive things that lead to horrifying mental images that no-one wants. No-one.

Dustin and Kandice, this is more like it! I expected better from you. So far all you've been doing is getting lost and passing right by clues and equipment... But you're pretty. In pink. In Mozambique.

Teri and Ian, good thing you found the easy Detour, even if it was by mistake. You may have noticed that there is a MUCH easier Detour every leg. Did you *have* to remind everyone *again* about the paper underwear?

Oswald and Danny, the hell you will! *runs* *screams like a girl* You're all icky and gross! Ew! Don't get all the yucky coal dust all over me. I ought to Philiminate you for that. What exactly does "sissyfoot" mean, anyway?

Joe and Bill, you didn't allow Eric the bully-boy to intimidate you and then you beat him and his athletic and realistic life-size inflatable doll in a foot race to the Mat. How sweet is that? But I will not forgive you for mentioning your unmentionables. There was yet another visual I didn't need.

Eric and Danielle, you're next to last. Danielle, you look a bit distraught and Eric isn't very sympathetic. If you'd care to drop by my hotel room later, I would be pleased to lend you a shoulder to cry on. Or whatever. *waggles Philbrow*

Uchenna and Joyce: Lucky for you, this is a non-elimination leg. However you are now marked for elimination. You need to be in first place or you get a 30-minute penalty at the end of the next leg. You guys are going to have to pick yourselves up by the bootstraps. Your highest placing so far is second.


Administrative Notes:

Please keep the game in the game thread.

New posters are welcome! All the Racers are taken. Anyone may post as a sound person or cameraman or taxi driver. Or hey, be creative! Post as a mine-sniffing rat or one of the people who actually paid to have their nails badly painted. Jump on in and play with us!

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by zipperhead on 03-18-07 at 11:42 PM
I? Rock.




"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by foonermints on 03-18-07 at 11:58 PM
*flings rock*

Travelocity Tip: Just aim for the horrible, horrible screechy sound.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Estee on 03-20-07 at 07:51 AM
We rock.

We rock so hard.

Whee! Aruba! Somehow, last out of the Pit Stop plus last out of the Roadblock equals total dumb luck at the Detour and first place! Wow, never saw that coming -- um, Mirna? Could you calm down a little? We're both married now and it's been a long time since summer camp.

Okay -- much better. I'm almost sure they'll be able to air that.

Talk about your miracle legs. I didn't think we were doomed going out of the Roadblock, but it's not a good sign when your rat wants to spend more time cleaning itself than moving, which is why I personally named it 'Guido'. Back of the pack, but not last place -- someone was going to screw up eventually. (I hoped.) And now? Seeing all these teams stagger in covered with coal dust... pure dumb luck: we hit the right Detour at the right time. Of course, we've still got to work on some things, but at least getting the initial clue reading wrong means we've got some extra money for tomorrow. How much were we supposed to collect? As much as it takes to boost our funds for the next leg. Sure, that's it, that's what we were doing all along.

All right -- one down. Now if Mirna just uses her powers to hypnotize another local when we leave the mat tomorrow, we might be able to keep this lead until we hit the next bunch point. (So about three minutes.)

I think we've got to consider going for the Fast Forward. With a non-elimination leg and Uchenna & Joyce marked for the big Phil production, there's almost got to be one coming up, and it would be nice to walk to the mat for a change...


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-20-07 at 11:28 AM
Mark my words, the next episode will be the first one this season where we read every clue completely and follow the directions flawlessly. Once we do that, we'll blow past you two so quickly it'll make your head spin. You can walk to the mat any time you want, but we'll be sitting in the shade watching you arrive.

Don't forget, Dustin and I have been anointed as "the first all-female team to win The Amazing Race". That would be us, not you.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by bystander on 03-20-07 at 01:34 PM
You are so cute that sometimes I almost forget that I'm cuter!


and perkier...and prettier in pink...and Phil says I give the best hugs.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by dabo on 03-19-07 at 00:12 AM
So, let me guess... After the race Eric got a job as Ann Coulter's gagwriter.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by vince3 on 03-19-07 at 01:18 AM
Hug me Phil!!!!! *chases after Phil at the Pit Stop!*

Me and my unnamed rat found the clue mine pretty quickly, no?

It was nice to wax poetic about our fallen lovers on World Aids Day...

I thought the nail polish gig was to make us look like the sissy boys we occasionally are... What? You mean men paint nails here usually? Charla/Mirna, the BQ's and Teri/Ian who were all behind us did the Pamper Detour and they all finished ahead of us? Ai Dios Mio!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by dragonflies on 03-19-07 at 08:23 AM
That rat was just so darn gross Ozzy! I'm soooo glad we read the clue right, and you dealt with the rat, cause I just don't like them. *shudders*

Oh, my nails! And combining cardio with the horrid nail breaking task. Horrific!


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by ARnutz on 03-19-07 at 06:49 AM
Hey Phil! It's cool if you want to slip a little Fast Forward clue with a task into our backpacks while we're at the Pit Stop.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-19-07 at 07:36 AM
Doahnt worry, someone will hold a plane for ya.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by cahaya on 03-20-07 at 02:36 PM
Hey, we beat you fair and square for the second time in a row. Your RTV days are over, dude.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-21-07 at 06:57 AM
Doahnt count on it, Ambuh and I will be back on your TV in a flash. And you can't wait to watch us.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cyndimaus on 03-23-07 at 03:55 PM
You said it, sweetie! I like your positive attitude. See, sequesterville isn't really so bad.


What TV show are we going to be on this time, honey?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-19-07 at 07:28 AM
First speed mailsorting and now painting nails? When will this race get some real tasks to perform? Don't look now, we've moved up to #2. Next stop: Team #1!

Somebody better get Danny a nail file-- he needs one.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by bystander on 03-19-07 at 09:56 AM
This race stuff is soooo easy. Hey Kandice...which one of us is the prettiest in pink? I think it's me.

Oh and Myrna? We ARE smart but who is the skinny one you were talking about....certainly NOT you! We all know who the short troll-like one is. I guess if you race with the travelocity gnome you win a trip from him automatically. Maybe if you pack Schmirna in your carry-on bag you can take 3 people on your trip to Aruba.


"HEY BLONDIE!"
Posted by foonermints on 03-19-07 at 03:04 PM
You got it correct the first time: "the short troll-like one". Us gnomes are cute and clever, and don't have the attitude that the troll has.
OH? Did they say Aruba? Too bad, their reservation is now for BaBOOba.
I've already got them a top quality tour guide.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by jbug on 03-19-07 at 08:14 AM
Phil, I'm really sorry about that mention of our unmentionables. I TOLD Ian we were going to keep that to ourselves this time around, but you know Ian!

Did you know the cameraguys had EVERYONE say that line "You dirty rat" and then picked out only the best to show to our fans? Of course, Ian would be best at that.

What I really want to discuss with you is WHERE that stupid gnome found Ian's stupid hat and brought it back! I'm sure we would have been even faster at the nail painting had he not had that particular hat on. Not only does the hat look stupid, Ian says and does stupid things when he's wearing it.
~~note to future racers, only ONE hat per racer is really needed - & don't bring a stupid one~~~).


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by foonermints on 03-19-07 at 03:38 PM
What is this, Beat Up Gnomes Week?


Careful! You want a trip to Babooba too?

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by jbug on 03-19-07 at 03:45 PM
Well, if you weren't interfering so much!!!! <bg>
You're just everywhere, I say, everywhere!



Handcrafted by RollDdice

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-19-07 at 08:38 PM
Hey! Give us our thongs back!


Or we'll have Georgia Pacific recall your undergarments, and tell everyone what's watermarked on them.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by buckeyegirl on 03-20-07 at 08:36 PM
Stupid hat? Um, Ter, this is my *Lucky* hat!!! Teri, weren't we lucky that we stumbled onto the easier detour? I'm glad I listened to you for once and we stayed to do the nails instead of the coal one...


Lets forgot that I ever brought up our unmentionables, mmmkay???

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by jbug on 03-21-07 at 07:49 AM
Yes, dear.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-19-07 at 08:32 PM
Hey, Tolerance-Challenged Jack(ass) Who Was Beaten By A Pair Of "Queens!"

So you weren't trying to pass us back on the road there, huh? Well, we weren't trying to get away from you! Our accelerator got stuck. Do not EVEN try to out-lie us! We were doing so when you were propositioning high school sophomores. (Oh, sorry, forgot . . . you still are.)

And you're just upset because we aging, queer (not "queen," goof) Guidos beat your sorry rears to the mat.

*splashes Eau de Salle de Bain No. 5 in Eric's face*
You look hot and bothered. No need to thank us.


A pair of queens also beats a pair of oobies any day.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by sporkman on 03-20-07 at 03:57 PM
Joe, don't waste our Salle de Bain No. 5 on that jerk. Just let him be. He's mad because his nose kept telling his little "brain" that there were two sets of cheap french oobies waiting at the pit stop. Imagine his disappointment when it was just us and our matching thongs.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Molaholic on 03-19-07 at 10:00 PM
Hey, watch your insinuations there, Phil-o. I've got some connections, incaseyoudidn'tknow.

Welcome to Mozambique! We're all so proud of you and want to thank you for the work you did to make our little country so beautiful. By the way, you'll be receiving a small bill for services from our rat-landmine detectors. (Except for Uchenna -- your rat is lactose intolerant...)

Charla and Mirna Look out Aruba! Look out Roaming Gnome! From worst to first ... too bad Romber weren't here to see this!

Dustin and Kandice Great race, girls. I'm so jealous of your pink togs.

Teri and Ian Whodathunkit! A couple of oldsters in paper chonies beating out so many teams. Gives me hope for the next several decades.

Oswald and Danny Phil... Phil... Where'd you go Phil?

Joe and Bill Amazing. Just Amazing. You can be my Queens anyday.

Eric and Danielle Somebody needs a hug. Seriously.

Uchenna and Joyce You're the last team to arrive. But you're lucky because you're not off on your way to Sequesterville (and more time with Romber). Just watch your axe next week.



Andy, you still owe me 14 minutes -

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by bystander on 03-20-07 at 01:38 PM
Just by being here Kandice and I make your country more beautiful. And...we're happy to do it for you.


I know you were kinda disappointed when the first team arrived...Troll-baby in tow and all....but we could tell by your smile and your fantabulous nails that you were on our side all along.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Max Headroom on 03-21-07 at 06:59 AM
Indeed. Who would've thought that Miss California and Miss New York would come to Mozambique? Yes, we're making the world a prettier place.


"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by pinksparkleguitar on 03-20-07 at 05:36 PM
I? Looked really, really, I mean really good in that red Nike tank top. I'm considering some endorsement deals.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-20-07 at 08:31 PM
You might want to have a talk with those pigtail braids, then.


Little Red Riding Hood is so not her.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by pinksparkleguitar on 03-21-07 at 11:25 AM
Quiet, you.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 03-22-07 at 04:46 PM
I don't know what the fuss is all about. Eric really is a gentleman. He's smart. He's encouraging (Yelling "Hurry up" and calling me a humptydumbass really works for me) and supportive. He's got a great sense of humor (That prank on the Guidos was hilarious. Really. It was.). Yeah, he thinks he's the best and only like coming in first, but that's part of being a boyman. 'Sides, if he gets me the million in the end, then I can put up with just about anything. Us coattail riders are good at that you know.

Oh, and by the way, Phil? That pained look on my face at the mat wasn't because I was afraid Eric was going to give me a hard time for not running fast enough. The problem was that cute "sports" bra. Damn, the girls looked good, but there just wasn't enough support. My left oobie came right up and hit me in the face. Boy, did that smart!


I know it looks like I'm pulling a Flo next week, but it's just the editing. Oh, and Eric was really supportive of me during my meltdown. The editting may not show that either, but, really, he was!

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-22-07 at 09:28 PM
The problem was that cute "sports" bra. Damn, the girls looked good, but there just wasn't enough support. My left oobie came right up and hit me in the face. Boy, did that smart!

And your point would be?


Aaron doesn't seem to mind.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by CwazyWabbit on 03-23-07 at 00:36 AM
It was the point that stung so much!


Eric doesn't mind either, but he would prefer my boobs were on a guy.

"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by beau_30 on 03-23-07 at 10:33 AM
Yeap just ride my coattail and and we should win the money. And no your ooobie didn't pop out I pulled it out. I wanted to show phil how firm they were.
"RE: Be the All-sTAR 11.5"
Posted by Cygnus X1 on 03-23-07 at 01:25 PM
Eric, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?


You HAVE seen Midnight Express, no?