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Original Message
"Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-15-06 at 12:46 PM
Okay, how are the plans coming with the 5k run that will assure us of being renewed next year?

Do we have any celebrities signed up for this deal?
What? Who?

That really fat, obnoxious lady who stole the shoes and wanted to be a disc jockey -- what was her name -- she had a 300 pound tumor or something like that...didn't her name start with a J...Jean? And that girl with the really long hair and a really big butt who thought she was a model? What the he!! is her name anyway?

Come on, people! I need real celebrities! Where's Danny Bonaduce when you need him?



(statements above shamelessly borrowed)

ADMINISTRIVIA:

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Remember, if you're unable to post as your character for a time, just send me a note to that effect. Otherwise, I can only assume you're uninterested, which isn't fair to someone who might want to play.

Currently claimed roles are: Jon Murray, Dr. Stan, Iyanla, Rhonda, Andy (and her mom, and her left brow), Antonia, Jodi, Kelly and her bathroom, Niambi, Christina, Christie, Poetri, Dr. VantToLookJung, Lanre, theGarden Buddha, the Rose Bush, the Front Door, the Dining Room Table, Bead Store Owner, "Mr. Situation," the Camera Man, and the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

It would be really great to see the current HG's and past HG's post more.

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Based on various other "Be The . . ." games, created by (all hail) Angelfood.

Table of contents
Messages in this discussion
"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-15-06 at 01:29 PM
Hi Jon,I think I can answer that question about Bonaduce for you. He's in a gutter drinking malt liquor with a transvestite on Fifth and Vine.Don't ask............And by the way your looking for a celebrity?What am I chopped liver?How many baked goods do I have to sell to qualify huh?I won't ask whose a$$ I have to kiss since I've already answered that question. Good grief....

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-15-06 at 02:40 PM
*Takes large bite out of biscuit*

Huh, wha'... djidg you hear fomefin'?

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-15-06 at 06:41 PM
AHHHHHHHHHH...................That's not a biscuit!! Can you hear me!!! I don't need any butter there Jon and if you don't knock it off I'm calling the FCC!!I mean it!!Why didn't I take that gig with Martha Stewart?

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-16-06 at 07:16 AM
Alright Murray,I've taken just about all the noshing from you and your "houseguests" I'm gonna take.Listen up BUSTER! I've been schooled in the ancient,deadly art of TAE KWON DOUGH!!These arms and legs or what's left of em are DEADLY weapons!I see you cowering behind that desk!!You can't hide from me!You and your BIG,BIG everything.(jumps on Murray's leg and begins karate chopping) Take THAT and how would ya like some of THIS?(gets tangled up in pantleg)That's right MISTER!! I can ##### slap your butt back to late night cable T.V. faster than you can say "Mary Bunim carried my a$$ for a decade."And Antonia might help me. I think she was in a GANG before SO.I haven't seen that filthy a mouth on a woman since Maury Povich.Yeah,and you thought you knew everything didn't YA?And watch where your steppin you big loaf.I'm mean oaff.And THAT goes for you TOO Bonaduce!! yeah, I heard what you said.You haven't seen the last of ME!!(shakes fists menacingly,stalks off)

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by kircon on 05-17-06 at 10:19 AM
*whistle* Hey DoughBoy. Let's talk about Martha Stewart. I picked up some tickets for her May sweeps show that will be filmed here. Do you want to go. I am the queen when it comes to cleaning. I plan on asking her for a position. You want to join me. That bakery guy has his hands full, You are the king of baking.

*leaning over and whispers in ?, leans over and whispers.*
Do you know anything about plumbing? I plan on taking my bathroom home with me at the end of this season. You do have the butt for it. Each time I come I bring a few supplies with me. I really thought I had been discovered when they had that exercise to change the faucet. I'll meet you in my bathroom.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 11:32 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 11:33 AM (EST)

Oh Kelly,thank goodness you showed up.Finally,someone that hears me.Jon Murray thought I was a biscuit and took a bite out of me and it was just awful.I think I got in over my head with this gig.I mean literally.......everything is SO FRIGGIN HUGE!I have to scream for anyone to even hear me.I'd love to go see Martha Stewart.She's so polite and cultured.She'll understand us.I still have to participate in that 5K run.(rolls eyes)They should call it a 5K shuffle.Have you seen Christies idea of "running?"My Grandma "runs" faster than her and she carries 10 tubes of cookie dough everywhere she goes.

I'm sorry I don't know anything about plumbing.But I am good with tools.(winks)Especially spatula's! We'll see what we can figure out.I'm worried about Buddha.He's disappeared and I can't find him anywhere.I hope Andy Paige hasn't done anything to him.

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-17-06 at 11:36 AM
*whispers to Dr. Stan*

Uhh... Stan do you really think it was such a good idea to bring Kelly back for this race? Do you see what she's doing? It looks like she's having a conversation with that biscuit!

Do something, Stan.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 12:01 PM
OH NO!!!!.......RUN KELLY RUN!!!!....... MURRAY'S SPOTTED US TALKING....AND HE'S GOT THAT HUNGRY LOOK IN HIS EYES AGAIN!!.....DON'T LET HIM GET ME!!

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-17-06 at 12:09 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 12:10 PM (EST)

::fires up barbecue, adds extra lighter fluid::

::flames leap up::

::escorts Pillsbury Doughboy to balcony directly above::

::light push::

"S.O.S."
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 12:33 PM
DR STAN? WHAT ARE DOING? NO,I DON'T NEED ANY FRESH AIR.I DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES TO TALK OVER.I'M MADE OF FRIGGIN DOUGH!!UH.. .ARE WE COOKING OUT?WHERE'S ALL THAT SMOKE COMING FROM?OH MY GOD!!!DR.STAN NO!!YOUR SUPPOSED TO KIND AND GENTLE.WHAT HAPPENED?DID THEY TRY TO TAKE A BITE OUT OF YOU TOO?OH NO!!YOU MONSTERS!!YOU CANNIBALS!!!YOUR TRYING TO BURN ME ALIVE!!(hangs on desperately to boards on the balconey)KELLY,BUDDHA,ANYONE SAVE ME!!I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TO GO THIS WAY!!I WANTED TO BE BAKED BY BETTY CROCKER!!

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: S.O.S."
Posted by alaholly on 05-17-06 at 12:54 PM
"Huh? WTF is that? Maybe I can get a few bucks for that little bugger."

<Swoops battered Doughboy into bottomless sequined bag and flees balcony. Hides DB in laundry basket. No one has used that since Kim left. Makes plans to sell him for lots of money on E-bay...as soon as she finds out what E-bay is.>

"RE: S.O.S."
Posted by kircon on 05-17-06 at 03:20 PM
*Looking through laundry basket for Kim's sweater*
Why Mr. Doughboy what are you doing here? Did you find Kim's sweater? I need it for cleaning my Darling Bathroom.

*DB hands the sweater to Kelly*
*Kelly picks up the Doughboy and heads to her bathroom*

"RE: Whew..........glad to get out of there."
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 03:55 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 03:56 PM (EST)

Kelly.........Is that you?I'm so glad you showed up and not that maniac Dr.Stan.He's not at all what he seems to be.Do you know what they tried to do to me?They tried to BARBECUE me!!Burn me ALIVE!!Can you imagine?Monsters..........monsters I tell you!!I thought I was signing on for "Starting Over" but all of sudden I'm a participant on "Survivor."And the natives had me over an open spit ready to COOK me!Then Antonia showed up and saved me but then she threw me in that bin and left me there.Dr.Stan is crazy.He thinks he's playing "Macbeth" or something."Well......the dough is OUT now Buster and I'm swearing an oath of revenge.REVENGE I TELL YOU!!And befouling those shorts you left in the hamper is only the beginning!!And you thought that tiff you had with Kim was nasty huh Kelly?Here I saved you one her t-shirts she left in there too.

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-15-06 at 02:44 PM
<Antonia is staring into her closet trying to figure out what to wear for her big pitch to Mr. Jon. She debates her two wardrobe options: A pink, long sleeved t-shirt *or* a sleazy, glitzy club outfit. She decides that the gold pudgy-belly baring jacket is the most professional and puts it on forgetting to wear a shirt under it.>

"Damn I look fly. Mr. Jon is gonna LOVE me. He'll definitely give me the $10,000 I'm askin' for. Sh!t they gave me $10,000 for my decoratin' project, like, why not for some new clothes?"

<Practices eye rolls and posing in front of mirror>

"Damn I look good! No one looks as good as me! I AM a celebrity. Oh Mr. Jon..."

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-15-06 at 04:31 PM
Uhh.. maybe you didn't notice but that $10K we "gave" you was not for your benefit. You redecorated a room in my the SO house. And we got your services free of charge. Hmmm... no benefit to you whatsoever - none, zero, nada, zip.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-15-06 at 05:03 PM
"Damn. Mr. Jon just doesn't get it. I am SOOOOO hot."

<Goes back to room and changes into another pudgy-belly baring hot pink sequined top. Fluffs up rat's nest hair. Poses in front of mirror. Moves caterpillar eyebrows up and down in an attempt to look sexy. Looks like Howdy Doody in drag.>

"Damn. I'm hot. Where's Dr. Stan...oh Sta-an. He likes me. Maybe he can help me hustle *er* earn some money. Stan the Man. Stan the man with the hands. Dr. Stan, where are you?"

Struts down the hall looking for Dr. Stan mumbling "I am so gowah-jess!!"

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-17-06 at 12:15 PM
::scrubbing hands in Kelly's bathroom::

Out, damned white spot! out, I say!-- One; two; why, then 'tis
time to do't ;--Hell is murky!--Fie, my lord, fie! a soldier,
and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call
our power to account?--Yet who would have thought the old man to
have had so much all-purpose flour in him?

"Whew! That was close."
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 01:16 PM
I can't believe this.Where am I?Dr. Stan and that awful Murray just tried to barbecue me.Thank God,I'm only singed.Caring and supportive my A$$!!These people are crazy.What exactly are they trying to start over a buffet?And why am I hearing Shakespeare?Am I at Summer Stock?Man......if they make me do "Hamlet" again I'm quitting.My understudy last year was a mouse and he never learned his lines.He did fit the costume though.Where am I and was that Antonia that rescued me?I think it was.The sequins on that purse blinded me.Why does it smell like sweat in here?I hope Dr.Stan doesn't find me again.Oh No,I think that's him out there.I better be quiet.But I have to get out of here.

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"You are safe!"
Posted by kircon on 05-17-06 at 03:35 PM
*whispers* DB be quiet. I, Kelly, saved you. You are in Kim's sweater. Remember. Antonia hid you in the basket, I found you. You are going to help me take my Darling Bathroom home. Remember?

*light flashes* Kelly stands up

Dr. Stan! What are you doing here. Do you need help. I can clean anything.

*steps out of tub* *walks toward Dr. Stan*

*holds her hand out*

"RE: You are safe!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-17-06 at 04:23 PM
Kelly,

Put your Clorox Toilet Wand down, and step away from the commode . . .

"RE: You are safe!"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 04:31 PM
(whispers in Kelly's ear) Psst.......Kelly,you grab one arm and I'll grab the other.Holdem behind his back and we'll use Dr. Stans head of lovely hair to mop out your precious toilet.On the count of three.........1.....2......3.......

PLISSBURY BOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: You are safe!"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-17-06 at 08:03 PM
Not . . . my . . . toupee . . .

"RE: You are safe!"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-18-06 at 12:24 PM
It's gone.(watches toupee disappear in the toilet)Let it go.........AWWWW,Don't cry about it Dr.Stan.(rolls eyes,pats Stans shoulder)Bawling like a BIG BABY isn't going to help.(takes off chef's hat)I know how you feel.They never even gave me ANY hair.I've always been bald.

I'm sorry I was so rough on ya big fella but I got alittle miffed when you tried to BBQ me.By the way,don't try that again or I'll have to get Antonia's help to do a Dr. Stan swisher with that fake mustache and stubble you've got puttied on.Yeah,I know your secret.I used to dough on a handlebar mustache myself.Drove the ladies wild.I had to drop it when it fell off in some biscuits during the filming of one of my commercials.

Listen,Don't tell her I said so, but I think Kelly might have a tiny crush on you.She's such a delicate,fragile flower you better get in there and start pitchin fast.The guys are just LINED up to get to her.Just to let ya know.

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: You are safe!"
Posted by kircon on 05-22-06 at 03:36 AM
Doughboy, I'm back! Dr. Stan & I had such fun shopping for his outfit for the 5K. Did you talk to him. What did he say? Does he like me? *Wierd lip movements* *twirls hair* *straightens up* It doesn't matter. My main goal at the Starting Over house is to claim My Darling Bathroom. Do you think Dr. Stan will help me with my DB? Gotta run, meet you in the kitchen later.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by JavaT on 05-15-06 at 11:56 PM
Aw come on, now, DB, you better get your facts straight. I was sitting in the gutter right after the "Out of Control" episode, remember? I've been sober for... let's see... 13 and a half hours now, if you count the 10 I spent knocked out from those 'luudes. I'm doing great! Well, pretty much.

*whispers urgently* Hey, Count Dante, get me one of those canned beverages from the fridge, will ya? No, not Mommy's Red Bull, the one that says C-O-O-R-S. Got it? Shhhhhh....

Anyway -- I need to shoot my boy Jon Murray an email and let him know, you little unleavened piece of crap, that you need to be put in your place. Like maybe squashed underneath the Buddha??

After all, I am far more valuable to SO than you will ever be. I mean, did you ever headline with Paul Goebel? Huh? Huh? Didja?

Get back in your can, fat boy!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-16-06 at 07:34 AM
You better watch it Bonaduce!! Or I'll lock you back up in the closet at that REHAB(rolls eyes)ya came out of 13 minutes ago with nothin but a Yoga video and a TV that loops over old "Partridge Family" reruns and TV evangelists sermons.I already knocked the crap outta Murray today and your next Buddy.That little wifey of yours is cute.She still available for a little roll in the flour?

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-15-06 at 06:20 PM
Overheard this as I was strolling around through the closet doors.

Sommer preparing for her "dance-off."
http://www.moviewavs.com/cgi-bin/mp3s.cgi?Sunset_Boulevard=sunset.mp3


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by SO_love on 05-15-06 at 07:05 PM
>> And that girl with the really long hair and a really big butt who thought she was a model? What the he!! is her name anyway? <<


Ok now I am so pissed! I AM PRETTY! I could be a model if I wanted. So what if Andy Paige doesn't think I have passion?!? And to touch on my as*, I like resting things on it so I have it by choice. And my hair...I don't really know why it's so long. It's not very flattering. But it's there, so don't even go there.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by sharnina on 05-15-06 at 07:35 PM
SO_love, use this text minus the <> symbols for your sig. What you're using is not working.

<http://community.realitytvworld.com/boards/User_files/43e5627d1b7c73ed.jpg>;

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-15-06 at 10:51 PM
"Are you <bleepin'> kiddin' me? Your a$$ is huge girl. I'm Antonia and I tell it like it is. You got back baby. But hey you got 20 bucks? I need some support heyah. I only got $10 from Niambi and Iyanla won't give me sh!t."

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by JavaT on 05-16-06 at 00:02 AM
I'll give you $20 for a cold PBR. Whatcha think? Money means very little to me especially since I don't have any. If you help me support my little er, habit way of life, I'll foot your bills while you're in the SO house.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-16-06 at 00:17 AM
"Sorry Danny honey, you're just not my type. But if you, like, slip me some cash I'll sneak you a little somethin' to drink from Niambi's closet. And for a few bucks more I might be able to get you a bite out of that Doughboy's biscuits to go with it."

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by mbinkc on 05-16-06 at 00:10 AM
Hellooooooo???!!!??? I've got my short shorts on. I'm waaaiiiting...
(opens bottle of new cologne "Eau de Sweat")


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-16-06 at 02:16 PM
Richard Simmons!!!Oh my GOD,Oh my GOD I LOVE you!!(jumping up and down)That restraining orders expired right?Did you get ALL my love letters back in the 80's?I'm still doing Deal A Meal do you think it shows? People say we bear a resemblance to each other.Do you think that's true? Could you put the stopper back in that turpentine it's making me woozy?Watch out for the chicks in this house.Their really testy and they've been hitting the cookie dough pretty hard.I LOVE YOU!By the way did that sex change take yet or are still(whispers) a man?

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-16-06 at 04:01 PM
RICHARD SIMMONS!!

My sacred and absolute Sensitivity Mentor and idol.

If only I could find an outfit for the 5K that could honor him and his mission . . .

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by kircon on 05-17-06 at 03:47 PM
*winks*

Hi Dr Stan, I would be willing to helpyou with your shorts. I got a Bedazzler for Mother's Day. Maybe we could get together in Antonia's new room or my Bathroom. That has a lot of mirrors. Is this what you are looking for?

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-16-06 at 10:43 AM
Very funny door, but I did not pass through you, into this sacred space for *gasp* exposure.
BTW, Mr. Murray, how many cameramen must a girl fraternize, er, I mean be friendly with, to get her close-up?
"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-16-06 at 03:57 PM
::puts on Adidas short shorts circa 1979::

::licks finger, touches seat::

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST.

Who needs celebs? The babes will go wild when they see these buns!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by SeasonedRefinement on 05-16-06 at 04:50 PM
Ah Yaah...I'd say we need some celebrities for this 5K. I went home and pulled out my telephone book and found all the "D listers" who owe me a favor. How do you feel about these folks?

Kathi Lee Gifford, Mother Love, Carnie Wilson, Ricki Lake, Victoria Gotti, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and Delta Burke.

These woman ARE the faces of this generation, or somethin' like that. Besides, I know they'll work for free to get their faces on television.

Oh, and there is one particular TV and Radio personality I'd like to see in a pair of running shorts and a tank top....but first I have to establish that there will be a lane for motorized scooters...

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-16-06 at 05:18 PM
OOOOO!

This 5K is going to be better than a Love Boat reunion show!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-16-06 at 05:43 PM
"Oh my gawad! Are you KIDDIN' me??? That is the scariest <bleep bleep bleep bleepity bleep> thing I've evah seen! Run Niambi run! Cover your eyes! Those legs are so pale it'll blind you fo-evah!!!"

<Antonia's reaction to seeing Dr. Stan out in the yard doing stretches in his oh so sassy shorts>

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by catmama on 05-16-06 at 09:06 PM
sooo... anyone heard from the dining room table lately? how about kelly? i need the love only a toothbrush in my crevices can provide! and i don't mean that in a graphic way; but have any of you ever had a mildew problem? no? didn't think so.
oh, mr. murray, you may be interested to find that lovely sommer had a wee little "get-together" in mr. bathtub last night. it was menage'a'trois- her, a cameraman, and heinikin. ah, that's right, christie! there is drinking in the house, and nothing you can do about it. although, i think sommer should thank kimmie-poo, for leaving a suitcase of it behind the towels in the linen closet. that girl was plastered like hello kitty stickers on a japanese schoolgirl's binder. and, btw, don't be surprised if you wind up having a double baby shower on the show-that's right, andy AND sommer! talk about must-see tv! just please, make sure i'm back to my former glory. i don't think i could stand it if kelly saw me on tv in my current state. and she hasn't taken me up on my offer to "add-on" to her house. why, my kelly? whyyyyeeeeee?
"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-16-06 at 11:10 PM
First the front door. Now the bathroom? Why are you trying to rain on my fifteen, thirty, no, make that sixty minutes of fame?
"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-16-06 at 11:29 PM
Oh, I'm graduating, already?! Thank you for giving me a second chance Rhonda. All of those sensuality exercises gave me some powerful 'tools' to touch my inner self, er, I mean, GET IN touch with my inner self. Now, I just hope that the bike you gave me has one of those 'special' seats you told me about.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by kircon on 05-22-06 at 03:56 AM
Shhhhhh! I'm working on a plan to take you home with me. It's going very well. So you need to keep your spout shut. Also be nice to that doughboy, he is also going to help us. I have found your replacement and I need to also talk to the camera man. I love you My Darling Bathroom, we will be together soon.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-16-06 at 11:48 PM
::applies Coppertone Babyblock 50 SPF liberally to legs::

::notices cocker spaniel tugging at back of shorts::


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-17-06 at 00:35 AM
::eyeing up Dr. Stan's shorts::

::hoping that Dicky(Richard) Simmons shows up with one of his famous tank tops and, even more infamous short shorts on::

::collecting all of the feather boas used on SO this year::

I am sooooo gonna have fun on e-bay when I get home!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by mbinkc on 05-17-06 at 09:26 AM
Hello to all of you fat-a$$ed lazy ladies, especially you Dr. Stan Muffin Man!!! I'm so excited to be here!!!

::pulls on left leg of short shorts to remove wedgie::

One of my best friends, Gopher from The Love Boat, told me about this wonderfully superb race that y'all are putting together! Oh Please, Please Pleeeeeaaaassseee let me help!! I can show you all how make exercise FUN, FUN, FUN!! You know it can be fun don't you?? Even if you pull a hamstring or sprain your ankle, all you have to do is SMILE and it magically heals itself!! Even pain is fun!!

::waves hands in the air and does a happy dance::

::sudden wave of emotion change::

::eyes well up with tears::

Exercise equals love. I just want you to love yourselves like I love me. I love me so much. I love my body, I love my hair, and I especially love my dainty striped tank tops and short shorts. Oh, and I love my turned down bobby socks and I love my pointy exercise shoes. Can you all feel the love? I hope so.

::grabs several tissues from the Kleenex box::

Oh, Dr. Muffin Man...look at you!! See everyone?? Dr. Stan knows how to love himself. Look at his short shorts!! Only a truly wimpy sensitive man can look this good wearing this god-awful atrocious outfit. Don't forget your pointy shoes my little Muffin!

Do you ladies really want to love yourselves? Because again, I love me so much that...HEY!! OUUUCCCHHHH!!! LET GO OF MY HAIR!! QUIT b!tch SLAPPING ME!! Who is this blonde lady with the weird eyebrows??? I did what??? I stole your mantra?? What mantra?? Ladies, make her stop!!! Help me Dr. Muffin Man!!


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-17-06 at 10:01 AM
<Antonia takes advantage of the commotion surrounding the "discussion" between Richard and Rhonda>

"Great idea Sum-ah! E-bay huh. E-bay."

<Swipes several pairs of striped shorts and shiny tanks from Richard's dressing room. Stuffs them into her gold sequined dollar store handbag. Hastily heads back to her room with the loot.>

"I can make some big cash from these on E-bay. Sure am glad Jill showed me how to "acquire" these items. Now if I can find out WTF E-bay is. WTF!?! I better go call my Mom."


"What am I, chopped liver?"
Posted by kircon on 05-17-06 at 04:02 PM
Iyanla, what am I, chopped liver? I am a pro-runner. I was in the Olympics. I have medals. Do you know how good I lood in a running outfit? Most of those D-listers are old & fat. The others are twigs. Now think of me in my running suit. By the way, mine has a few holes. You could send me shopping for a new one. That place you sent Sommer would do a sista' fine. Have you seen Lanre. He's going to take me running. I do need a little tone up. How about this? Lanre & I on the poster. Maybe that fine man could help me forget about Mr. Situation.

"RE: What am I, chopped liver?"
Posted by sharnina on 05-17-06 at 04:23 PM
*pimp-walks into the room*
*looks Niambi up and down*

Mmmm... guuuurrrl, you lookin' FINE!!

I been thinkin' 'bout chu guurrl. I been ardently thinkin' 'bout chu. Mmmm hmmm.

Yeeeah, let's see some boo-tay in some tight runnin' shorts. Aw yeah, baby, tha's right. Work it guurrrl.


"Oh St. Anthony, where is PudgeBoy?"
Posted by alaholly on 05-17-06 at 04:34 PM
"WTF? I thought I put that <bleepin> wad of dough in this he-ah basket? WTF? Oh ST. ANTHONY! Help me please. I know it's only been 3 minutes since the last time but this is important. I am goin' to make a sh!tload of cash off this little dude. Where the <bleep> is he???"

"RE: Oh St. Anthony, where is PudgeBoy?"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-17-06 at 07:26 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-17-06 AT 09:19 PM (EST)

(An ethereal,yet oddly and doughy familiar voice speaks from behind the shower curtain) Anton.....ia this is St. Anthony speaking.Bless you my child. Please leave the Doughboy alone.He's one of God's children too you know.And please...........stop bothering me every blessed time you lose your car keys or something.I've got a few other blessed things to do you know?And lose the gangsta
talk.God thinks it's tacky.Bless you.

ST.ANTHONY,BLESSED SAINT OF PROTECTION

"Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-17-06 at 08:23 PM
And while you are at it, Antonia, please stop invoking my name as well. It's an insult to asses everywhere.

"RE: Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by alaholly on 05-17-06 at 11:14 PM
"Are you freakin' KIDDIN' me? I'm hearin' voices, my tooth hurts, my sinuses are killin' me, AND I HAVE A PIMPLE! Now I turn around and I'm bein' followed by a giant donkey for <bleep> sake! I've got to go lie down and take a nap."

<Takes out partial glasses, puts them on and looks over her shoulder>

"<Bleepity bleep!!> That is one huge grown a$$! Mommy!!!!"

"RE: Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by catmama on 05-18-06 at 00:26 AM
ANTONIA!!! girl, you'd better get this grown ##### off my tile NOW, girly! ooh, you just wait til kelly gets back from the bead store with dr. stan, boy are you gonna get it! aw, great, he just dumped in mr. shower! do you know how hard it is to clean donkey dung out of a shower? do you?!?!!?!?! this is "starting over"; not "peewee's playhouse"! now, take this thing back to the san diego zoo, and let him live his life! sheesh! and someone please get that horrid little afro'd person out of here. if i hear "physical" one more time, there will be pipes bursting all over the house! that's right! i'll flood this bad boy, you hear me? kelly! oh, ke-llll-lll-yyyyy....please hurry back! aw, great, here comes andy, a set of tweezers, a broomstick skirt, and what? dough boy? *gasp* i never knew you were so...so...rrrrighttt.
http://images.picsearch.com/is?W2Uk9VotQgeoB47siM5_UawKq05SrBSJ1I4rerzKYRo


"RE: Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by beautyboyknockout on 05-18-06 at 00:45 AM
LAST EDITED ON 05-18-06 AT 00:52 AM (EST)

*Back from vacation with Andy's Mom* ~ohhhhh mama citaaaaaa~
Reads daily assignment:

**Focus in on Antonia, need closeup of the rotten tooth that fell out, Marie Calendar does not want to pay for the damages.

**There is a ball of dough running around the property, try if possible to get footage of 'it'

**Any shots of Niambi

**rub vasoline on lens when the Rhonda is in the confessional-enough said

**Don't film Stan with toup' off

**No @ss shots of Christie, Jodi, or Jill please!

**find a nice birdy, and get a close up of it

***********The Camera Man************


eta picture

"RE: Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-18-06 at 10:10 AM
WTF! Why isn't my name on Mr. Camera Man's list of shots? Just because I already graduated? I'M STILL HERE MR. MURRAY!!!

::bats eyelashes::

::does sexy, seductive walk towards Camera Man::

Hey big boy, why don't ya just stick with shots of me today? Christina came by yesterday and helped me install a stripper pole in my bedroom (in exchange, I helped her sell some of her crocheted hats on e-bay). I'll do some of my sensual dancing for your camera, er, I mean you.

"RE: Grown Asses Complaint Form"
Posted by beautyboyknockout on 05-19-06 at 10:04 AM

*checks assignment again*

::work with Sommer today. Film her working the pole, show her new found confidence::

Sorry Sommer, I over looked you. I'll come up later today and you can have fun on my pole-I mean YOUR pole.

Maybe you can help me sell my dvd's of off camera shenanigans at the house?

***********The Camera Man************

"RE: What am I, chopped liver?"
Posted by kircon on 05-18-06 at 03:40 AM
My Situation Man, I miss you so much. I hope that the letter Miss Iyanla made me send you didn't confuse you. Did you get a copy of my poem. I think IV figured that it was about you. I'm hoping my graduation present will be a cruise. You and I alone without that other person. When are you going to dump her. I'm so much better for you. I can take you places. Can she? I'm planning on getting maximum exposer with the 5K. We should be able to steal a little time away during the race. I'm sure Antonia will cover for me. If not I have a few things on her.
Hey Antonia, what's hanging out of your bag.

I love you out loud.

"RE: What am I, chopped liver?"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-19-06 at 06:59 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-20-06 AT 10:23 AM (EST)

I'm what's best for you, Niambi.

100,000 Alithuns can't be wrong.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by kircon on 05-18-06 at 03:26 AM
Private Observation Outlook Post
Starting Over House
Kelly's Bathroom

Oh My Darling Bathroom.I screamed when they came at you with those kitchen knives. Are you ok? Are you hurt? What did they do to you? I hope you don't have an incontinance problem. There's no shame in admitting if you do. I will make sure they get a real plumber to fix you.

I am working out a deal with the Doughboy to help me get you back to my house. I will spend the evening with you while someone else graduates. Doesn't take much to get it now. Break a mask apart, do a dance, put a bike together, or write a poem. I worked real hard to get my keys to graduate. Dr Stan even asked me to sit by him. I think he likes me, I think.

Dr Stan asked me to help decorate his running shorts. If I do a good job, maybe he would also help us to be together. Do you have any ideas for his decorations? He stands before you often. What does he say?

I must get this off to you before they find me. I will see later tonight. I have a special surprise for you.

All my love, Kelly

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-18-06 at 11:09 AM
<Antonia sitting on floor staring at Bedazzler that she is holding upside down>

"Dammit. I thought the ruler was too hard, this thing is <bleepin'> ridiculous. I need some more sequins on my bottomless handbag. That damn little Doughdude knocked some off. I wonder why this tool was under the sink in the bathroom anyway? I nev-ah would have found it if I hadn't lost my glasses again."

<Looks to sky.>

"Thank you St. Anthony! He speaks to me now."

<Big toothy grin, caterpillar brow roll, and side head tilt.>

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-18-06 at 12:54 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-18-06 AT 03:40 PM (EST)

Kelly Dear........I'm here and I retrieved my set of butter knives.Their suprisingly handy at scraping off bathroom putty and loosening fixtures.I think I can help you out with this project in exchange for alittle protection from the "SO noshers" as I call them.You'd think they'd just set up a Kraft service table.But NO they have to take bites out of ME.If they weren't all such GIANTS I might be able to defend myself.And to make matters worse half of them are on DIETS.I didn't sign up for this!!Why,Jodi alone has eaten my hat,my kerchief,half my a$$ and one of my LEGS TWICE!!I can't keep replacing those!!You'd think I'd be on to her "Come mere DB I just want to comfort you." ruse by now.I need someone to watch my back.

Uh.....Kelly have you considered that you may need a diversion to get your darling bathroom out the door?It's not exactly going to be inconspicious to be toting a toilet out there.I may be able to help with that.

And Oh by the way.........Stan the toupee toilet man sends his love.
xxxxxoooooo
PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by SO_love on 05-18-06 at 04:05 PM
Hey everyone! Not gonna lie, I'm a little stressed right now. Especially since Rhonda is treating me like someone with a college degree, making me compose all these different lists and get my act together. I just hope me and my Jodi can get this all sorted out in 4 days! Wish me luck!

--Christie<333

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-18-06 at 10:59 PM
Hello. St. Anthony, are you there? I've heard Antonia saying that you've helped her find things. Please help me, because there are a couple of things that I need to find...

a few more things from the SO house that will make me some money on E-Bay

fifteen more minutes of fame

one of those little toaster ovens, because I think that our little PBDB looks a tad pasty, he needs a tan

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-19-06 at 08:15 AM
(A voice speaks from the ethers of Paradise or possibly under the bed.)

Sommer,This is St.Anthony speaking.Bless you my child.I have heard your requests and I think we need to clear a few things up.I am a saint.I'm an agent of God's mercy and benevolence.I don't find things you left in the backseat of someone's Chevy or behind the dumpsters at K-MART.(ahem)Nor do I deal in flea markets or small appliances.I do however sometimes help find socks that get lost in the dryer or help get those sticky things off that they put on the sides of CD's.Please lose the stripper pole and feather boa.God thinks their tacky.And tell Antonia not to keep calling on me every 5 blessed minutes.She's wearing out the astral plane.FYI: Toaster ovens do not double as tanning beds.Bless you.

ST.ANTHONY,PATRON SAINT OF PROTECTION

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-19-06 at 09:35 AM
<Antonia is passed out face down sleeping on the couch wearing her drop-seat bunny pajamas with the feet. She has written "I am a grown a$$ed woman" across the seat of her pj's with a felt tip marker. She has wrapped herself in her hand made cheesy grade school "freedom flag.">

<Housemate tries to wake her for group task of hunting down the Doughboy and returning him to Pillsbury. (He is no where to be found and we've had enough of his product placement to satisfy our contract. We have plenty of Glade candles to deal with.)>

"Huh? I'm not getting up. I'M TI-AHD! I worked already once this week. I'm done for at least anotha week. You don't expect me to work AGAIN for <bleep> sake?!?"

<Looks lovingly to heavens>

"Oh St. Anthony. <He speaks to me now, sleepy grin> Help me find a better blankie. I'm cold. This flag blows."

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-19-06 at 10:43 AM

BWAAH!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-19-06 at 11:04 AM
Am I graduating? (peers around warily) Did I hear Andy Paige?Because I don't want a makeover.Alright maybe just some hair............or a mustache.


PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"Don't Do It!"
Posted by kircon on 05-22-06 at 04:29 AM
Don't get near Andy. Didn't you hear she's preggers. You would never survive her cravings. If you want a make over, clean out the bathroom drain. Dr. Stan cuts his beard in there. I'll leave some glue under the sink. I brought the chest they gave me for graduation. It has three locks and keys. You can hide in there. I'll leave it in the kitchen. Stay safe, I really need your help. Later

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-19-06 at 11:12 AM
ANTONIA......IF YOU DON'T STOP BOTHERING ME EVERY(BLEEP)(BLEEP)SECOND.I'M GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND(BLEEP)(BLEEP)YOUR (BLEEP) ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE (BLEEPIN)(BLEEP)ALLEY YOU CAME OUT OF.WAKE UP (BLEEP)YOU (BLEEP)!!YOU CALLED ME REMEMBER? UH OH..........

ST.ANTHONY,PATRON SAINT OF PROTECTION

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-19-06 at 02:38 PM
<Antonia standing addressing Housemates seated on couch>

"I am SOOO awesome. I AM GRADUATING!"

<Winks at Christie>

"Now I need all of yous to help me figgah out what to BE. I was thinkin' of maybe bein' a f'n teacha at some DOPE fancy school...or maybe a TV stah...or a ballerina or a fairy princess...or the president."

<Collective eyeroll from Housemates>

"C'mon I'm not messin' around heyah. I AM GRADUATIN' and Iyanla said I can be anything I want. I might even sign up to get my doctorate next week. So theyah."

<Collective sigh from Housemates...except for Jodi who runs over and gives Antonia a huge full body hug and a big kiss>

"What? I'm graduatin' heyah...I know what to do. I'll ask St. Anthony to help me find my way. That's a grown a$$ thing to do."


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by BlowingOver on 05-19-06 at 06:37 PM
My entire family plans to picket your graduation.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Anne18 on 05-19-06 at 07:25 PM
LAST EDITED ON 05-27-06 AT 07:40 AM (EST)

LAST EDITED ON 05-19-06 AT 07:29 PM (EST)

Antonia!

I've been looking all over for you! How would you like this FREE dress from my closet? It's yours! FREE! No strings attached!

Love, Cassie

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by alaholly on 05-20-06 at 00:32 AM
<Antonia sleeping on the couch>

"Mmmmph. WHAT?!? A note from Cassie?? WTF, I'm sleepin' he-ah and I can't be bothered by that girl. I'M GRADUATIN' soon and I need a nap! A loooonnnng nap for <bleep> sake. She's got a freakin' free dress?? WTF? Tell Jill to hop on her scoot-ah and go pick it up for me. And tell her to take along my bottomless, sequined, dollar-store handbag just in case it's not really free. I can fit a whole lot in that big bag, wink wink. And Jill knows how to use it. Hey I can get along without overspendin'. I know 'cuz I'M graduatin'!"

<Rolls over and goes back to sleep>


"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by kircon on 05-22-06 at 04:53 AM
*whispering the tune* Me and My Shadow...we wish we were graduating with you, Antonia. I'm certainly going to be next. Why would they take the whiner over a pro-runner. I'm pissed, at this whole thing. *hands in the air and shaking head* A nap sounds good. Scootch over. If Jodi and Christie and sleep together so can we.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by JavaT on 05-22-06 at 07:06 AM
You go ahead on, gurrrl – I ain't crawlin' in no bed with Miss Bean Town! You might swing that way, but I don't.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by Lanna42 on 05-20-06 at 11:16 AM
Hey Christy.........I have a scoop on a career opportunity for you.You said you want to be a model/actress right?I heard Theater In The Round is putting on a production of "Winnie The Pooh."The role of Eeyore the donkey is still available and it would perfect for you!!His main line is "Oh...... woe is me."It's a (bleep) about the 5K thing.All Antonia and I had to do to graduate was sit on our a$$e$ and gripe. Cinammon roll?

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY,SO SPOKESMAN
MADE OF DOUGH,UNLIKE ANTONIA

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by JavaT on 05-21-06 at 08:59 AM
Whew! I've just blown back into town after a wonderful whirlwind weekend (how's that for alliteration?!) with Mr. Camera Man. Oooo-la-la! Does he ever know how to focus, if ya know what I mean! Sommer, you got nothin' on me, honey. Unlike you, I know how to manipulate have a meaningful relationship with the production crew! Even after all these years, I've still got it.

Anyway, it seems like a lot has happened lately. Somebody sent me an invitation to some kind of event – a 5k? What in the devil's a 5k? It says it's a race, on the invite, but I thought a 5k was something you saved money in, you know, for retirement and stuff. I think I need to ask that girl Antonia about that.

Something really freaky has happened at home, too. I came back and Andy wasn't here, but there were eighteen empty pregnancy test boxes in the bathroom trash can. Anybody know anything about this? I can't imagine Andy being pregnant. Good grief, if she is, it's going to put a real cramp in her style. For one thing, what's she gonna wear? Far as I know she pitched all her jumpers after she left SO, but interestingly enough, she still wears granny panties, so at least she'll have comfy drawers. All I can say is, Andy's little bugger better never call me "granny!" I'm a thong woman, all the way.

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by TVFreak on 05-21-06 at 11:31 PM
Yo B****! Don't be steppin' up in here, since you been gone I was crowned best dancer in L.A. So there!!
And, I Put the F in fraternize!

"RE: Be The Houseguest Roleplay Thread - Week 15"
Posted by JavaT on 05-21-06 at 09:21 AM
I'm telling you, if one more person says I look like Gumby, me and Lucius are gonna kick some serious a$$. He loves me just the way I am.